₦airaland Forum

Wait wait wait; abeg make i understand this tory wey you just yarn here so; you mean to tell me that you found a man you don’t even know driving your wife and your children to Timbuktu and you still went ahead and waved them to go ahead? As if that was not bad enough, the guy even had the effrontery not to exchange greetings with you and he drove another man’s wife and children to their destination without even acknowledging your presence? My question is will that man accept it if he found another man driving his wife and children on an outing? Its obvious this man is blackmailing your wife and if you love yourself, YOU WILL GO AND DO DNA TEST ON ALL THE CHILDREN YOU HAVE WITH YOUR WIFE AND ANY SUBSEQUENT CHILDREN THAT WILL BE BORN BY YOUR WIFE TO YOU. AS SHE IS NOT A TRUST WORTHY PERSON.

This is a woman who has no fear and respect for you at all at all SMH; you better put your foot down now and since you have paid the loan your wife took from him, YOU GIVE YOUR WIFE A FINAL WARNING AS AN ORDER AND LET HER KNOW THAT THERE WILL BE CONSEQUENCES IF SHE DARE DISOBEY THE ORDER YOU HAVE GIVEN HER NOT TO HAVE ANYTHING TO DO WITH THE “SUPPOSED LOAN GUY” HENCEFORTH.

Sometimes its good for a woman to have the fear of her husband so that it will deter her from misbehaving and over-stepping her boundaries.
Your wife is really rubbing it in your face asin she don see you finish and she knows that you can’t do nada; you better change that now otherwise, your wife will ring the cheating bells in your face then your eyes will clear. Also for now, tell your wife say no more loans to be collected without your knowledge and if at all you decide to give her a go-ahead to collect a loan, then you must have a detailed description of what she needs the money for. ENOUGH SAID.

The height of social media has given a lot of people the privilege of telling lies. I mean who videos themselves opening a phone package? It just shows that she’s trying to advertise the so called item she found in the box. Nansense; abeg make she show us another fake video jare.

This long tory wey you yarn here so, the 1st part I'm interested in is the aspect concerning your mum. Listen mate; no make me vex with you o. You dey here dey ask for more views when your mother is in the cold and sleeping outside without a roof over her head and you’re asking for more views ? Are you kidding me ? Go get mama out of the cold NOW and stop saying I am thinking of it rather go do it NOW. If this nah your GF mama would she do the same thing asin leave her mother to sleep outside in the cold without a roof over her head? I think not; you don’t need ANYONE to tell you to do the right thing; go get your mother out of the cold NOW. As for the 2nd part, only one word RUN.

All455:
Thanks to u all for your comments.

Pls mods kindly move to front page. Let's hear more views.

Thanks.

Na wa o eat this, don’t eat that, which kin food make person come chop na. By the way @op you mentioned all the meat not to eat and you conveniently skipped mentioning the ones to eat. If you had mentioned the ones that are safe to eat, it would have made the write-up balanced.

Are you waiting to hear from us that its ok for both of you to carry on? The genotype issue should be the first question you ask before venturing into a relationship. Ok you said she told you she was AA but did you confirm this by doing another test together in another location? If you would not have kids then you can go ahead but if you would be thinking of having kids then it’s not advisable as there is no guarantee that you might not have SS children. You need to go to the hospital to see for yourself the crisis that an SS child goes through then may be your eyes will clear because the love you think you have for her if at all you have an SS child going through crisis, will disappear. ENOUGH SAID.

@Op; stop posting articles to justify adultery and cheating in a marital union. Rather, post articles that encourage a couple to be faithful to each other and work on their faults. Cheating should not be encouraged in a marital union as the betrayal is usually unbearable in most instances.

LIES upon LIES; and she thinks everyone on social media can be deceived easily with lies She is better of just coming out to say she is advertising for her surgeon to help get more clients. LET IT BE KNOWN THAT NO AMOUNT OF SQUATS CAN INCREASE HER BACK SIDE TO THIS LEVEL THAT SHE WANTS US TO BELIEVE NO MATTER WHAT. ONLY SURGERY CAN DO THIS BEFORE AND AFTER PICTURE POSTED.

NL these days have become the den of fake and fictions stories . People just come up and make up stories and expect us to believe them . Anyone who believes this story can believe anything they are told. How can a man date a woman for 9 years and he never saw it fit to take her to meet his family members ? As if that is not bad enough, his fiancee dates him for 9 solid years and she never thought it important to know his family members and someone wants us to believe that this is true ? Abeg OP, tell us another story jare.

They all look good but lets not forget that there are other factors involved as well such as;

The individual having good genes
Doing some cosmetic surgery
Getting pregnant in their teenage years would make them close in age with their children
A good balanced diet
Incorporating exercise in their daily routine
Having a good amount of sleep
Drinking lots of water to cleansed the body system
Avoiding unnecessary stress

All these goes a long way in supporting their young looks

What a disgraceful and an untrained man bringing shame to all other men . How many seconds will it have taken him to watch the plate in the sink? What happens if his wife suddenly becomes ill does it mean he won't be able to assist her with chores? . I wonder what will happen then. If he is this filthy and nonchalant about doing house chores, I wonder about his other aspects of cleanliness i.e his hygiene.

@Op, if this were to be your brother how would you have addressed his attitude?

As for your wife’s other siblings coming for holidays, I ask again; if these were your siblings willing to come on vacation in your home how would you have tackled their request?

The way you will handle the issues if carried out by your siblings is the same way you should handle them if carried out by your in-laws.

@op, the bold says it all and that is what you need to know to help you move on. ENOUGH SAID

SAsunset:
My ex boyfriend and I dated for about 9 months until he recently broke things off with me stating that he feels as though he can't make me happy and he can't give me what I need and deserve. He says a part of him isn't ready for a relationship and a part of him is. He said that if he's in a relationship with me he doesn't just want a relationship he wants more.... but he broke it off with me!!! I'm so confused and I don't know what that means.

I accepted it at the time and decided I was going to move on. Obviously hurt, I blocked him to make the separation easier. Well he panicked and texted me on an app the next morning asking why I blocked him. I told him he left me and I don't understand. He said he's still very confused and that he didn't leave me. I realized he didn't know what he wanted so I decided to tell him to relax and give it time so we can move on. I reassured him that I don't hate him and that I've been grieving the loss for a while (he was extremely cold and distant before the breakup). He said he will respect my need for space and try not to contact me.

Bearing in mind that he broke up with me WTF?!! I'm so confused but I had to be the mature one. He needs to think about what he wants.
I can't lie, I love this man and I want him in my life but some areas of our relationship obviously haven't been great and I don't just want a mediocre relationship.

I'm finding it so hard to make sense of his behavior. What's going on in his head, what should I do?

First off, are you both compatible on the ethnicity side of things? Remember that was what broke her first engagement.
Second, do you really know what you want? I doubt it as you are dating someone who is all bent on getting married ASAP and that is not what you want at the moment and yet you won’t let her go to meet someone who wants to settle down ASAP like her? Why are you bent on holding on to her (you are selfish) and yet you are not ready to marry as at now? You clearly know she wants marriage and nothing more.
Third, you already know that she is desperate just within 4 months you’ve known each other not even allowing time to pass for a proper courtship to know if both of you are suited to each other and she’s already desperate to settle down? Which kin thing be that?

@Op, so because your wife refused to make you noodles after you've had your dinner and she also refused you asking the house help to make the noddles for you, you had to bring the matter to NL for judge and jury ? Nothing stops you from doing that simple task of making the noodles yourself if you were that hungry. It’s not everything that one should nag about and sometimes, doing a simple task yourself makes for peace; hence, let it go mate. One more thing, I hope you are not a nagging man as it seems your wife is beginning to sense that about you.

At bold that is what he should have done before he even allow ANYONE who's not a family member to step foot in his house. One doesn't take chances when young children are involved. It's obvious he is having some concerns and red flags are being spotted about the lady and rightfully so especially since the lady is the one that will be looking after the children whilst he and his wife are away on their individual routines.

Afam4eva:
While i think he should have done his due diligence even before she stepped her foot into his house, i don't think anything he has said is unusual. There's really no bid deal for someone in the village speaking English. Like someone said, village means different things to different people and someone who finished SS3 can be said to be educated because secondary education is where people actually learn how to speak proper English.

It's also imperative to udnerstand the fact that the OP who has conversed with these maid before she started singing west life's song in supposed Queen English, so it may not even be that she speaks good english but just knows these songs. Even people from countries that don't speak english, sound good in the language when they're singing a song. So, like i said, these things should not raise a red flag. But the OP should still carry out some investigations.

@Op, I don’t understand when people see fire and decide that until they put their hand in it and it burns them before they know that it was hot and dangerous. You have seen enough red flags to alert you that something is not right and yet you still insist to allow her remain with you. You should have carried out due diligence before she even step foot in your house and from your responses, it’s obvious you didn’t do much of that. Someone who hasn’t left her village before and is so bold to be going out of the house without your permission and that is not enough worry for you ba ok o siddon look. You do realise that safety should be your first priority concerning ANYONE that is not family that comes into your home especially when you have young children. Leave am there o until she will show you her true colors then you will know watsup. ENOUGH SAID

Firstly, you only gave examples of men who cheated on their wives and their wives forgave them. You did not give any example of a woman who cheated on her husband and the husband forgave her and continued with the marriage. Give that sort of example and let us know if the husband forgave the cheating wife. You and I both know that the cheating wife is usually sent packing but for the cheating husband, the wife should forgive him and remain in the marriage as the wider society expects her to do so. Women really do have the short end of the stick.

Secondly, the women who decided to end their marriages as a result of their husbands cheating on them SHOULD NOT BE CASTIGATED. Do you know how difficult it is to forgive a cheating husband/wife? The wedding vows you take, are not taken for the fun of it as they are vows that needs to be adhered to and cheating on your spouse, SHOULD BE AN ABHORRENT AND NEEDS TO BE AVOIDED.

Finally, If you resolve in your heart that you will not cheat on your spouse, then NO MATTER THE TEMPTATION, YOU WILL THINK OF HOW HURT YOUR SPOUSE WILL BE WHEN THEY FIND OUT THAT YOU CHEATED ON THEM WITH SOMEONE ELSE AND THAT ALONE IS ENOUGH DETERRENT.

I don’t see any advantages for the son to be living with his parents after marriage. He needs to get his own apartment away from his parents and start afresh. It starts out well but along the line, drama starts to occur. He shouldn’t be putting his wife through this stress as it’s hard for the woman marrying an only son as it is and then they now want to add more pepper to the food; make him find his own place commot from him papa house abeg. He can employ someone to look after his parents and check on them regularly as a few people already use this method.

I don’t know why some women find it so hard to read the signs written on the wall. He is not telling you directly that he is no longer interested but his actions shows it and yet you still won’t see it for what it is. Ok o remain there make you they hope say him go come back to his senses. You clearly see that he is into another woman now and you still want to remain as stand by. Remain there you hear until your eyes go open clearly and hope by then he has not lead you on for years making you to close your eyes towards other potential suitors. ENOUGH SAID.

Yes o.

naturalwaves:
May God help us.

I don't do christmas

Franky826:
today is not Christmas

At bold only if married people would pay close attention to that sentence, then there would be a reduction in suspecting infidelity in their marriage. The case with the @op; if his wife didn't have those flirtatious chat exchange with a man who is not her husband, the @op would not have had any reason to doubt the paternity of his child and he would also not have had any reason not to trust his wife; just the plain reality.

naturalwaves:
I pray he does. From my observation, most married women that flirt have dated more than one guy simultaneously in the past and thus, being used to having guys available for different reasons.....financier, banger, chatter, the one for the fun outings etc. Even if one has done that before in the past, when married, there should be a full stop. I don't even call a married woman anything past 8pm talkless of chatting at questionable hours. Wetin come pain me pass be say this particular marriage never tey at all. Imagine what will happen after 5,10, 15 years talk less of "till death". What is the essence of having a wife that there won't be a clear differentiation between the hubby and other guys aside the fact that they go together to bed and wake every morning. What is the essence of having a gf that goes around hugging every dude at every meeting. Why are you now the bf? Some special attentions should be reserved for one's lover. That's what makes it worthwhile.

At bold; I hope her hubby keeps an eye on her as she seems to think flirting is a no big deal in a marital home. That just shows the sort of society we now live in where many people who take marital vows now don’t keep to them. Quite sad.

naturalwaves:
That is how they behave o. For her to have turned blinded eyes to that, she is a potential cheat or has done something similar. If you see any Nigerian lady that says a guy is insecure while trying to be sure of what he is doing, run as fast as your legs can carry you from such ladies. They are usually serial cheats. That word is so so abused here. A lady will know she is cheating and will still be saying her bf is feeling insecure when he tries to monitor her. They will pretend, act and even shed crocodile tears until you provide them with an irrefutable evidence.

Abi o, the thing surprise me too sef and that nah why I ask am the question.

naturalwaves:
You no see as she turned blinded eyes to other important details in the post? Birds of a feather!

Carry matter for head keh haba u for sponsor d TP for me nah, shebi you want make I come see for myself

Franky826:
you won't stop will you?

since you want to carry matter for head come have dinner with the family and see things for yourself

you game? pm me for address just keep enough money for tp

Uwc dude and that's cool. I couldn't stop laughing on "other myraids of traits" . But always remember that if one ever doubts the paternity of a child, the only way that you can be certain would be through a DNA TEST.

Franky826:
thank you Mr detective. there are other myraid of traits to rubbish any further doubts. thank you once again

Did the same male colleagues address you using romantic gestures as well and your hubby was ok with that? NO married man/woman would be happy with another man/woman using romantic gestures with their wife/husband and that is a FACT. Also did you deliberately forget that the @op mentioned the romantic gestures the other man was using on his wife?

chihes:
Actually pregnancy is calculated from the first date of the last menstration. I had been pregnant once like your wife when I made love on the third day after I saw my period thinking I was free. Dont be disturbed abt the guy mentioning our baby because I have male colleagues that used to ask me our baby when I was heavy, and trust me, hubby was ok with that knowing I have nothing with them or him. Just realx until baby is born, then you can go for DNA so as to clear your fears. Why you

Would you have given yourself this same advice if you doubted the paternity of your child? Every father has a right to know if their child is theirs or not.

SeniorZato:
Most of you advising the guy to go for DNA test. Have u considered how the child would feel if he grows up to learn that his mum was onced accused of infidelity and he/she's paternity was doubted? Put urself in the baby's shoe. How would you feel urself if ur dad once doubted u were not his child and went to that extent of confirming. Mr OP, marriage is not a childs play. You must learn to trust and believe in ur wife. The child is urs and thats final

At bold are you kidding me? A husband sees his wife's flirtatious chats with another man that is not her husband and this is what you have to say? If this were your husband and you saw a flirtatious chat that he was having with another female and he was asking her "How is our baby doing" as well as calling her other sweet names would you sit down and fold your hands and say it is nothing? The double standards displayed by some women on this thread is astonishing.

Angelyna:
Hi Mr, firstly I think you don't love or trust your wife a bit,
actually you thought you did... A marriage of just 18months? I fear your home will have enough ups and downs. See go and write today's day down, you will be sorry you ever doubted your wife, if I were the wife, I swear I'll make life miserable for you after the confirmation of the paternity... Some of you men are still boys but you jump into marriage. Fine! You saw your wife chat with another guy but to me it doesn't call for doubting the paternity. Those people advising you to chase her out, they're still mama's boy so what advice can they give.... In short I'm vexing right now... Enough said sha... You guys still have a long way to go and more work to do

Forget all the saying that the child looks like me or behaves like me etc and all the other analysis you gave below. Once you have doubts about the paternity of a child, it's only a DNA TEST that can confirm that a child belongs to the father and I will still advice that the DNA TEST SHOULD be done.

Franky826:


lol bro relax till the baby is born. even though stories cannot be same but...

exactly same thing happened to my eldest brother and his wife. though he doubted the paternity of the child due to the timing of the pregnancy relative to when they had intimacy. bro nothing added up.
he doubted till he let my mum privy on the matter. as oldie with experience mum told him to relax. August 4th 2 years ago baby boy show.

1. Boy had a mismatch on his hairline in same position exactly like my brother

2. Boy didn't start talking on time exactly like my brother

3. boy snores in same pattern exactly like my brother

Now when you ask my brother if he needs to do a DNA test he will even slap you join

Your wife was the one who gave room for you to be suspicious of her due to the cosy chat she was having with another man who is not her husband and which you discovered. She has herself to blame if you now doubt and have trust issues with her. Dude; you were also too quick to confront your wife and any evidence you have against her, will be lost as your wife now knows you are suspecting her and will do away with ANY/ALL EVIDENCE THAT YOU THINK YOU HAVE FOUND (I would have suggested you install a spyware on her phone to monitor her chat history but that might be taking it too far). She is also too close to male friends and that has to either stop or be reduced as the case may be. DO A DNA TEST WHEN THE CHILD IS BORN. I know this might sound harsh but I will also advice you to do a DNA TEST on any more kids that you will have in the union (Only a woman knows who fathered her child) and save yourself before you start training children that are not yours as your wife is still holding on to flirting tendencies even though she’s now a married woman.

You have proposed to a woman and you never knew she has a child. What were you discussing during courtship? That you had to find out the information from an external source shows the sort of person she is and you WILL NEVER KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THIS WOMAN as she will continue to hide crucial things from you. If she goes to visit her baby father or they talk constantly, she will hide it from you. She said the baby father is married now abi, ask her WHY HE DID NOT MARRY HER. The answer you get will help you decide whether to stay or RUN.