Topup's Posts
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 Romance / Re: Ex Boyfriend Mum Called Me by topup: 4:47am On Mar 14, 2010 |
She maybe wants to keep you in check just in case she can't wait any longer and thinks maybe she could fix you with her son. I don't understand why she wants anything to do with you, especially as she is sounding like a spiritual woman, and so she would want to heed the advice of the people who she prayed with - right?? It doesn't really make sense. |
| Romance / Re: Is Being Fat Hot? by topup: 4:40am On Mar 14, 2010 |
I don't have a flat tummy and I'm hot  I know a lot of people who break these rules, because in all honesty, beauty is in the eye of the beholder, guys prefer to admit to accepted ideals such as women with big boobs, big firm bums, and flat stomach, but I know that in reality there are many who would rather not admit that they find some quirky things sexy, some like a little fat on the tummy, some like small breasts and some prefer toned bum to a big one. I have seen many women who fall into the 'perfect figure' category and thought; "they're not as attractive as you'd expect them to be" - like someone else mentioned, it takes more than just the frame/shape, it's how you walk, how you hold yourself, what you do, your swag etc. . Cos many girls with awesome bodies hide the flat stomachs behind hideous clothes, unflattering clothes, which do not help, and unless you have time to be trying to picture every woman naked, you just will never know, some women look a bit chubby but naked they look gorgeous, most models do not even look good without clothes and their sex appeal is from wearing barely nothing - but never nothing. Everyone is different - I'm sure you knew that already. |
| Romance / Re: Stranded By The Road by topup: 4:34am On Mar 14, 2010 |
Siena: That's assuming that 100% of people who accept lifts are in fact "straned in a dark alley, with no means of calling a friend for assistance". . which they are not. I know there is advice on this, I think there are reports advicing people in these situations to go for elderly people, or women for lifts, but these people are usually more afraid of the hitch hiker than you are of them, nowadays, it's really strange to see a hitchhiker, but that's just where I live I guess. . |
| Romance / Re: Stranded By The Road by topup: 4:31am On Mar 14, 2010 |
All the ones who've accepted lifts, probably lived in areas with a small community or small population OR they don't read the news, they don't know about psychopaths and the real threat behind them OR know about how popular stalking is these days, PREVENTION is never to be underestimated, no point knowing you are good at getting yourself out of most tricky situations, it's better to know that you're good at not getting yourself into one. In some areas in America, hitchhiking and picking up hitchhikers is illegal. I can understand why. . |
| Romance / Re: I Had A Dream by topup: 4:27am On Mar 14, 2010 |
Awww how sweet  |
| Events / Re: Happy Birthday Iice! by topup: 3:05am On Mar 10, 2010 |
Happy belated birthday dearie, sorry for the late response  |
| Romance / Re: I Think I've Found My Life Partner by topup: 4:15am On Feb 28, 2010 |
Stay true to yourself and belief in fate and destiny, of course use some wisdom too, but remember that life is usually very very long, there's no need to rush now. If you don't feel ready for a relationship do not enter one, because if you do genuinely love her like you say then you could risk losing her forever if you have a unfulfilling relationship. Most people don't know that they're not ready for a relationship before they go into one, but you alreafy have the feeling that you're not - so listen to it. Alternatively you can choose to follow your heart because you never will know if someone is just there waiting to woo her, or if you ever will get the feeling that you are ready for a relationship. I also agree, it's important to stay focused on your studies. |
| Romance / Re: Its Funny How Nigerians Use The Word Love by topup: 4:12am On Feb 28, 2010 |
Guy: I think sex is healthy in a relationship. Girl: I'm planning on waiting until after marriage. Guy: I don't want to have sex with you. I want to make love with you. Because I love you. |
| Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Trust Close Up Photos! by topup: 4:09am On Feb 28, 2010 |
I smell a little photoshop cos this 'big' girl easily lifts her leg to lie ontop of the sink (which I'm assuming isn't just above the floor). |
| Romance / Re: Are Nigerian Girls Overating Themselves Beyound What They Are? by topup: 4:07am On Feb 28, 2010 |
I think some do, but I think eventually most Nigerian girls grown in maturity to a stage where they deserve to hold their heads up high. But whilst they're still young, I think it's slightly ridiculous to be claiming to the 'all of this' and 'all of that'. A lot of us are already comparing ourselves to our mothers, claiming to be strong, wise and confident African women but in reality we still have a long way to go. |
| Romance / Re: How To Know The Nigerian Man You're Dating Is Not Ready For Marriage by topup: 5:22am On Feb 26, 2010 |
luvbooks: Yeah!! Great book it really showed me an alternative point of view but confirmed most of my existing opinions. Good choice |
| Dating And Meet-up Zone / Re: Nairalanders On Skype Lets Hookup by topup: 7:06am On Feb 25, 2010 |
Skype is so much fun!! But my ancient laptop doesn't feature a mic OR a webcam . . use your imagination!! |
| Dating And Meet-up Zone / Re: Nairalanders In The UK: Let's Meetup! by topup: 6:59am On Feb 25, 2010 |
Nottingham perhaps?!?! LOL!! |
| Fashion / Re: New Hairstyle! by topup: 6:36am On Feb 25, 2010 |
Thanks madlady, very useful advice, currently I've done a full wavy/curly hair weave in 1b inspired by that same hairstyle. |
| Romance / Re: Diary Of A Single Woman by topup: 6:32am On Feb 25, 2010 |
Aloy+Emeka:  |
| Romance / Re: What Did He Mean? I'm not nigerian, Help please! by topup: 6:26am On Feb 25, 2010 |
Not sure about; "Na you biko" cos that is pure pidgin, but I know the "Na you be my madam" is "You're my/the boss." Maybe it's "Whatever you say!" |
| Romance / Re: My Fiancé Stopped Talking To Me B/c I Asked For Assistance. by topup: 6:22am On Feb 25, 2010 |
Okay, so you see the warning flags, you can see BRIGHT RED WARNING flags, great you've thought further, kids, money, wife. So what do you plan to do? He shouldn't have reacted like that, and I don't believe you should be attempting to try and change a man who is 10 years your senior, he should be mature already. Anyways, please do what is best for yourself, some people will never learn until they learn the hard way. I am appalled that you had to pay for all the food and then go cook it all, for him and his brother, and he bought juices. Something tells me that he is in debt or is not making as much, however if he is just stingy, that's even scarier - are you not worthy of some help, and you're not asking for luxuries, some women dare to ask for hair upkeep, nails, school fees rent etc. I hope he's not trying to get a free ride, the argument he made about you two living in separate houses and not splitting finances could be a trap to get you to move in with him, but then I have an inkling that he is just waiting to control you. A woman should always be certain that she is financially okay in a marriage, maybe through a joint account where both put in equal or varying amounts but use the account equally, or where she is with such a loving and giving man that this atmosphere is created anyways. It seems you would have to take this man to court to get a penny from him. Red flag!! |
| Romance / Re: For Ladies Only: Can You Do This? by topup: 5:55am On Feb 25, 2010 |
I wouldn't want to, but I can see why it happens to women. With so many stages in a relationship it is easy to think "we've come so far, nothing can go wrong now" or "I don't want to start asking questions like I don't know him now." It's this idea of; "If I complain, I run the chance of jeopardising everything I've worked so hard to maintain." alternatively, she doesn't realise what she's doing, sometimes when you go from 0 - 100 it's difficult to see how fast you've moved because you think you'll wait and see how things continue not knowing you've travelled straight to the end of the scale already. I could easily move into a flat with my boyfriend and it would feel natural, but what wise people have told me (and religious beliefs) would be the only thing holding me back, and since it is not completely ingrained in my moral compass, it would have to be a conscious effort not to slip into that state. |
| Romance / Re: Why Is It That Men This Days Are So Crazy Abt Beauty? Wat Happens To Character? by topup: 5:49am On Feb 25, 2010 |
Everyone is different, for some that trophy wife is sufficient for them to stay attracted, just knowing their wife is the 'envy' of all those other men who have wholesome great personality normal looking wives lol. However it's true, it's not so shallow, everyone does it, you are usually attracted by what a person looks like or what type of vibe they give out, if you are entranced by their voice, you will probably want to get to know them, and sometimes the strongest of bonds form when it's unintentional, but usually if all that drew you there was the ass or the boobs or the build, then don't be surprised if that fizzles away as you find out that you've not invested at all into getting to know them properly. What I really want to know is how to suss out the guys who are genuinely interesting or those who are merely trying to be 'alternative'. For example I have a friend who gives of a very mature vibe, and he seems very cultured, when most guys wear flashy clothes, he'll dress pretty casually, comfort, and his voice is deep, and he is very opinionated and listens to Fela, however, he is stingy, he gets upset over little things, and the whole 'cultured look' works for him, but deep down he's still a little boy, complaining about how a date, ate most of the food they were to share, and how he had to pay for her ticket etc. . |
| Romance / Re: Battle Of Gorgeous Men. by topup: 5:42am On Feb 25, 2010 |
Ooooh, good choice Gabry. Derek indeed!! Ahem!! Where can I find Derek please lol!! |
| Romance / Re: Diary Of A Single Woman by topup: 5:37am On Feb 25, 2010 |
Aloy+Emeka: |
| Romance / Re: How To Know The Nigerian Man You're Dating Is Not Ready For Marriage by topup: 5:23am On Feb 25, 2010 |
What pisses me off though is that it's not the problem of the guys to stop lying, it's the woman's job to be sort of paranoid and on tip toes and of course smart (it's always good to be smart) But it's like, you'll call a guy, and at this point you probably already have the vibe (if we're honest) that he's not that into you anymore, but when you're getting pissed, instead of him taking the initiative to end the relationship - he comes up with excuses. (And all your friends, male and female advise you not to be the stereotype psycho girlfriend who is like "Why won't you call me." and pester's her poor and genuinely busy man who could also be going through some emotional problems (a frequent excuse) - chasing him away from her). I read somewhere (written by a guy) that in all honesty, most men are cowards when it comes to being honest, the last thing they want is to tell you the truth because they know they'll appear like jerks, they might have to see you cry and they'll break your heart. They would much rather you break up with them, they push you to the limits because in all honesty - yes some girls don't get the clue - but at the same time they are being repeatedly lied to - any decent human being would naturally think that -"if he doesn't want to be with me - he'll leave". Ignoring your phone calls, only to call back 2 days later saying "Sorry, I've just been so busy with work." is not the same as saying; "I've been tired of this relationship for a while and I want to end it." It's just not, I just hate it how the automatic response is to blame the person who actually believes the crap and not the bullsh*tter themself. This isn't just limited to guys, girls do it too "Oh, babe yeah, I was thinking about you all that time I was apart from you. Of course I still. . . care." Lol. Anyways back to the points raised from this topic; guys should really man up and just be honest, don't start something you can't finish, don't coward out - distance yourself, forcing her to break up with you. More girls break up with their boyfriends than boys who break up with their girlfriends, because guys are said to be less emotional and that they can just withdraw just like that without really thinking twice or caring sometimes. Sad really. I will close with the line: "Forget giving her hints, just man up and tell her you want out you big baby!!" Yours, Tp |
| Romance / Re: Can A Nigerian Girl And Her Father Be Romantically Involved? by topup: 5:06am On Feb 25, 2010 |
The poster seems like a smart woman, any woman might think the same in her position, your husband to whom you are married to moves in a young woman and disappears on you, we can give the poser credit for sussing that this is just not right, now what she does from here on will determine whether she is being played or not. I'm still fuming that some sort of strange deed is occuring under her roof - and he won't even tell his wife. I think the best advice so far is to install cameras to get evidence of what happens inside the bathroom or to hire a private investigator since I know those are legal in America. You just need to investigate without being detected, here the key is not about confrontation or quesiton, but just gaining the evidence and making the whole process as clean and swift as possible, because I'd hate for fear of 'losing his papers' as some have speculated to lead him to become threatening and a permanent bother. Lastly, Nigerian or non-Nigerian this is fraud, heck, I've seen cases like this on Jerry Springer between US-born and bred citizens. It's not a Nigerian thing. |
| Romance / Re: To All My Good Girls That Aint Turned Bad: Yet! by topup: 4:47am On Feb 25, 2010 |
It's all about morals, if you can remember the feeling you felt when you were misled and betrayed, and you have insight and empathy, how can you possibly do that to others. You become even worse than the one who betrayed you initially - someone who is probably long gone from your history now, who will probably end up smartening up eventually and being a good man or woman. It just sounds a little childish to me, I understand that many people call it being realistic, but who's being realistic by running away from the truth. Other people are liars, cheats and backstabbers, and you choose to become one of them?? I don't understand this. I believe it's all willpower and I have been through this believe me, let us not treat relationships any different from friendships, and family relations. People are people. Because your mother disappointed you, you will now disrespect your father? It makes no sense. Women who alter themselves to become harsher because of treatment end up with the shorter end of the stick, everyone claims we're the more emotional half, and so it's only a matter of time before this cold hearted pretence falls to shambles, and what if then you're with an amazing guy - do you think he'll tolerate a phoney? I don't want to sound like I'm preaching, but there is NO solution or prevention for heartbreak, "protect" yourself all you want, but if it's going to happen it's going to happen. Forget softies who became heartbroken, I have heard stories of the other side, where the person pretended to be made of ice, only to lose their love because of the pretence and of course the lack of and that is just as painful. Believe in consequences - they do catch up with people, believe in justice and hope for your own love for the one you los surely was not yours. Now I'm ranting. . but seriously I hate to see beautiful women (inside and out) waste themselves and pretend to be what they are not. . |
| Romance / Re: I'm 20 Going To 21 And Already Feel Like An Old Woman. by topup: 1:30am On Feb 18, 2010 |
Lacrissa, oh my, I felt exactly the same (and still do at times), I think there is so much left to do in life though, keep telling yourself that, and hopefully you'll start to believe it. We are too young, as proven by my wonderful parents whose lives are still growing exponentially. I know Nigerians have a mentality of saying there is no other option than to get married as soon as you leave school or hit your twenties, but what ever happened to travelling, and self-discovery. Discovering yourself when you've got a husband and children is not only the way to do things, and it certainly is not the best way. Marriage is for those who feel like they will fornicate and feel they can be strengthened by uniting with another like-minded person. It's not just convinient - because if anything starts to go wrong, you need more to backup your reasons for being together than just sex appeal or age or desperation. When you're 21 and stuck in a dead end marriage, you will then start seeing the decades of life ahead of you - lol. Why not appreciate that now? You must have some hobbies, learn to be lonely, keep yourself occupied, because what if your husband died (God forbid) you would have to be alone sometime in your life, so learn to love yourself, and hopefully - if things are meant to be - you will learn to be able to love someone else and they will learn to love you too. All the best. |
| Romance / Re: What Do U Think Is Wrong Wit Our Girls by topup: 1:25am On Feb 18, 2010 |
So she cheated on you - or were you still together? I guess she wanted to see if the grass was greener on the other side, and maybe she has just found out that it isn't greener anywhere . She sounds young and little naive. You should try and think about what you want, instead of her, however if what you want is her love, then you can say that you're willing to forgive her (if she can prove it to you). Most of these questions can only be answered with time, we can never judge a person's future by their past, for example she had a good boyfriend (as you claimed to be) so her past was good, but she still left for a future of sex with another guy, who may have not treated her as well. You can't say whether she will do it again, you can just wait - but protect yourself, don't go running into the relationship again, possibly take a break to try and point out why she could leave a guy like you - ask her even - hopefully if you two get back together she won't want to try it again. |
| Romance / Re: My Bf Stood Me Up On Val: by topup: 1:17am On Feb 18, 2010 |
The best thing to do is to listen to him, let him tell you his explanation. You will probably get an inkling from there whether he is making it up. For all we know he could have been trying to surprise you with something, or trying to put together something to impress you, or yeah, maybe he could have been cheating, whatever it is, I think everyone should get a chance to explain/try out their lying skills .All the best for you, and know that at least you don't need him on Valentines day because he certainly wasn't there and you coped fine - (I hope). |
| Fashion / Re: Would You Ever Go Back To Natural Hair? by topup: 4:55am On Feb 12, 2010 |
ayettymama: Lol, I live in an area where there are plenty of all races but majority happen to be white. I have NEVER seen via google, in real life or any other media, a white woman wearing an afro, and latino curls, or soft waves are not the same as a 'gravity defying spongy afro' - feel free to correct me |
| Fashion / Re: Would You Ever Go Back To Natural Hair? by topup: 2:35am On Feb 10, 2010 |
Going natural as we speak .Women always want what they don't have, you will never see a white woman rockin' an afro - it would be too hard, we luckily have the ability to change our looks and get away with a LOT!! However, I have noticed a lot of black women don't wear their hair natural anymore, they think it's hard to maintain, painful to brush, not trendy, and too much to fuss all over . . but I tell you, before I ever begin to bald, I'll definitely start treating my natural hair properly (most women doing these harsh treatments to their hair have already got bad - natural hair and scalp conditions). |
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