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 Food / Re: Palm Oil And Palm Kernel Oil by topup: 4:22am On Jun 22, 2010 |
I'm afraid I'm not too sure, I've don't think I've seen packaging saying "Palm Kernel Oil", we use the orange looking oil at the top, thick in the middle and black at the bottom of the bottle PALM OIL - I assumed from Palm trees  |
| Food / Re: Suya Meat by topup: 4:19am On Jun 22, 2010 |
I need this!! |
| Romance / Re: Marriage Is About Being Lucky by topup: 4:05am On Jun 22, 2010 |
I think there is nothing wrong with marriage, this problem is a people problem. People lie to people and to themselves, people don't really know themselves anymore, they spend a great deal of time searching for a great job, a great house, a great life, but they don't search for the truth. A lot of us are selfish and should never get married, yet we discover this in marriage, a lot of us are self loathing, this is also destructive in marriage, no one really follows the idea that only those who are complete should get married. We don't want to be the last to get married in our group of friends, we yield under family pressure, we get bored and want something new. We get scared that we won't be able to have children, or will die alone, being under these influences, of course we are going to make a biased decision. I believe in a natural world, one where we can remove external pressures, each person can find their ideal spouse, after all how hard can it be to find someone you get along with, who you are going to work everything through with. If we had no idea of divorce like they did in the past, we would work harder to be on our best behaviours. I don't believe the problem is that people hide their inner selves until marriage, I think the problem is the idea that it's okay to let go once the ring is on. I think it should be a constant effort to push back that nagging inner self, the selfishness that causes you to put down your spouse, the greed and flawed sexual appetite that causes you to see a potential development in any hot piece of backside, the idea that I should relax, therefore yelling at your spouse all the things you believe you REALLY think, and have been thinking for a long time - but might stop thinking if things get better. I just think we as 21st century humans have become more complex, but unfortunately our ability to handle these complexities hasn't followed the increase. To stick together or to tear each other apart, the option of both people giving 100% equally, not 50:50, if you try giving half of yourself, hoping the other will give half, neither of you will provide enough to sustain anything. To genuinely believe in your heart that if everything was taken away from you but you had each other that you would still stay, and that would be your wish - to keep each other, is a rarity that many people in their hearts of hearts do not believe. I don't know much about marriage, but I know a lot about humans. Marriage is NOT the problem, the problem is us!! I know the words I've mentioned are far more easier said than done, and that's why there is a global situation with happiness within marriages. . |
| Romance / Re: Men Who Are Sweet by topup: 3:45am On Jun 22, 2010 |
Faher: What would be your definition of tough? I know a lot of my friends have a no - tear rule, not crying - TEAR!! Not now, not ever, not on the wedding day, not ever. They believe men shouldn't have tears. But I. . lol, want a human being not a robot, and I want the truth, and not a man who straightens himself and puts on a front just to address me. There is something very fascinating and alluring about a man who is composed, but on rare occasions, you see him be human, and feel the way I do. If he never cried, I would not be able to differentiate between levels of pain, and I prefer implosive than explosive. I don't like men who shout "I SAID I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT!!" - not a good point for me. I would prefer the strong silent type (I wish to modify the poll to make option 2 and 3 the same option - but I guess the totals will just be added together - they are basically the same idea). 1 Like 1 Share |
| Romance / Men Who Are Sweet by topup: 3:41am On Jun 22, 2010 |
Hey House!! I hold the opinion that the best man for me is a sweetheart, strong in decision making, financial and career wise, but very soft when it comes to matters of the heart. I'm not talking about a momma's boy or a cry baby - there is a difference!! I am talking about a man who is in control of his emotions, but has emotions to control in the first place However I am not sure if any men want to be like this at all. Check out the poll. |
| Romance / Re: What Was Your First Reaction When Your First Love Broke Your Heart by topup: 3:38am On Jun 22, 2010 |
I'm still waiting for my first love, my first like though, it hurt more because of my trust for him than because of my love. My reaction when he said we should just be friends, was to stomp out of the room, but only after calmly asking him if he really meant it. That day I knew it was over. My reaction wasn't that interesting unfortunately, I didn't shoot him, or kick him in the balls or cash out his bank account . |
| Romance / Re: My Ex Wants Me Back After I Won The N2m Promo by topup: 3:35am On Jun 22, 2010 |
I believe the poster should go with his heart, but be wise, they broke up, so he can't and shouldn't start showering her with gifts immediately, she must be remorseful - if she was the cause of the breakup, and he should ask her and interogate her reasons for returning. He should make the issue of the money as dull as possible. I think in a country like Nigeria, it's really unfair to look down on 2 million. Many of us take favour that we've received for granted. If 2Mil is so small to you, go out and withdraw that amount and give it to the next beggar or seller you see on the street. To some people 2Mil is their life's savings, let us look outside out boxes. As for the girl, who knows, maybe she saw his name in the paper and she finally broke the silence, and used it as a sign to get back in touch, if 2 mil is a miniscule as everyone is saying then it must not be motivational factor for her return. . |
| Romance / Re: Unconciously Obsessed by topup: 3:30am On Jun 22, 2010 |
Find a word similar to ruby and write that instead everytime you want to write 'her name'. Or just stop writing immediately. You're not quite over her, I don't believe you can ever be completely over someone you love and still love, you must feel nothing for them, even hatred still means that you have strong feelings towards the person. I think the relationship obviously affected you a great deal, because you let it really touch the innermost parts of you, this isn't your fault, it's a lovely quality any wife would want in a husband. I believe that you will gradually have to forget about her, since your heart can't hate or become indifferent to her. So over time, hopefully you'll begin to say her name less and less, make it not an issue if you exclaim her name, you can't make forgetting happen by force, make it a no-big-deal thing, and hopefully it will slowly slip away. If you make it a bigger issue than it is, it will definitely be a hot topic in your mind for months and maybe years to come. I still remember the name of my ex, though I've forgotten everything else, I certainly don't shout his name out randomly , but there are a teeny few parts left to completely fizzle out, I can't force it to fizz, it'll happen in its own time.Peace. |
| Romance / Re: I Dont Want To Hurt This Wonderful Lady by topup: 2:00am On Jun 18, 2010 |
The funny thing is that you're looking for a reason to tell Shade, tell her you're married. THAT IS a very valid reason not to pursue something with another woman, did you overlook this obvious reason because you no longer regard your marriage as a commitment?? Anyways, I am sorry if I am judging you, I try not to. Honestly, tell Shade you see her like a sister, and make her understand that you began to warm up to her but that is it. She MUST understand, if she can understand that she is seriously ill, then hopefully she is mature enough to understand that a male friend doesn't have to pursue anything with you if he doesn't want to. |
| Romance / Re: Well Need Your Advice On Honey Moon by topup: 1:51am On Jun 18, 2010 |
Go outside Nigeria, see the world, go to Thailand, or somewhere in asia that's exotic, or go to Barcelona, or go to St. Lucia. If you really want to stay in Nigeria, you heard the others. . |
| Romance / Re: Party's Over There! >> by topup: 5:44am On Jun 17, 2010 |
Pweety4me: True. |
| Romance / Party's Over There! >> by topup: 5:16am On Jun 17, 2010 |
It MUST be me, but why is the romance section SO dry!! What happened to all the scandalous posts and topics, are we all too busy tweeting, facebook stalking and skyping away?? I dunno. . . |
| Romance / Re: He Has A Girlfriend, But I Like Him, Is It Too Late? When Is It Too Late? by topup: 2:01am On Jun 05, 2010 |
ITgurlie: And cheers to you too!!  |
| Romance / Re: He Has A Girlfriend, But I Like Him, Is It Too Late? When Is It Too Late? by topup: 1:58am On Jun 05, 2010 |
mikkyphp: This is SO true!! It is the way you go about it, of course if a girl throws herself over a taken guy then it doesnt benefit her, and it lacks class. But also some guys literally read signs and move on- and like I mentioned I wasn't returning the signals at one point, it's not my call to make whether he genuinely is committed to his girlfriend, it's his, and in these situations I am pretty sure that you need lots of time to avoid the rebound situation - when a guy jumps from girl to girl. I also hate passiveness, but I think my deal is more to do with taking too long to make up my mind than passiveness, I reciprocate, but I do like to be approached first, I don't play games or make it ridiculously hard for a guy to see me, as I don't have time to waste like I did before , too much stress I tell you, I've never been a game player anyway.You're right I cared about too much before, and didn't act probably when it would have been more understandable to have acted. P.s. thanks  tkb417: Lol. . the famous twinkle eh Yeah you're right, I'm not the first to probably feel this way about him, especially since he used to be such a flirt. |
| Romance / Re: He Has A Girlfriend, But I Like Him, Is It Too Late? When Is It Too Late? by topup: 5:51am On Jun 04, 2010 |
steve49ja: |
| Romance / Re: He Has A Girlfriend, But I Like Him, Is It Too Late? When Is It Too Late? by topup: 5:48am On Jun 04, 2010 |
Lol, I would never cheat. The question is simply, shall I close the door forever, or keep it ajar. I am not making advances, it's not in my nature. He is very happy with his girlfriend I've recently been told, so I guess that's enough info for me to close the door. Thanks for the responses . .P.s. obviously if he cheats on her, he will cheat on me, cos that will mean he doens't see a problem with it. I know mine will come, but I've never really pushed or fought for anything I wanted, just wondering what people thought about the whole thing. Now I know. Peace And yuh - this is topup. I am human. |
| Romance / Re: Taking A Bet On A Lady! by topup: 5:28am On Jun 04, 2010 |
This is the script to so many movies and tv shows. Sincerely, if I was a bet (and I might have been before) I actually couldn't care less, what would piss me off would be the extent he is willing to lie, I would probably lose a lot of trust in him, but if he seemed really remorseful and it was obvious that he had distanced himself from those same 'friends' then it wouldn't be a problem. However, if he told me, then continued to tell me that the whole relationship was built on lies, and then told me what those lies were, and if there were so many intertwined and if he said it without any remorse, then there would have to be a major timeout of the relationship, at least for a long while. |
| Romance / Re: He Has A Girlfriend, But I Like Him, Is It Too Late? When Is It Too Late? by topup: 4:32pm On Jun 03, 2010 |
ITgurlie: Hi, Thanks!! Good advice!! It does depend on him doesn't it. It's not that I don't want to move forward, it's just that I've always believe that men always know how to get what they want, he hasn't come to get me because he doesn't want me. My girlfriend says that he loves his girlfriend more than his girlfriend loves him, and that's what always deters me, maybe he's mature because he's with her, because he has found someone who he has decided to change for and maybe the twinkle is really just that, just a twinkle. I think this is a tough situation, because I am not a home-wrecker , so I would never want to put thoughts into his head, because I can imagine how his girlfriend would feel. For a long time I went into auto-mode, I just blocked all his signs because my girlfriend (who happens to have had a crush on him by the way - and stood in the way of us initially), told me that he was seeing this girl when the guy was still coming over to visit me and trying to woo me.I think this might be a dead end situation, I like my life to be simple and straight forward, so maybe I'll just continue with what I'm doing and forget it. Thanks nonetheless. |
| Romance / He Has A Girlfriend, But I Like Him, Is It Too Late? When Is It Too Late? by topup: 4:14pm On Jun 03, 2010 |
I know this guy and he used to be one of those players, he has crushed almost every one of my friends, and he got around a lot of girls on campus so when he started 'crushing' me, I obviously thought it was yet another fling-thing. Nothing happened, but I started to like him, but because of scepticism I killed any advances. Anyway, I was proved right when my friend confirmed that he recently started dating another girl. Well they've been dating for a year now, and he's so mature and such a wonderful guy now, he has calmed down, and he is really serious about his relationship. His girlfriend ticks all the boxes on the type of woman he likes, however, she misses one thing he really really likes, - she can't speak Yoruba and isn't even Nigerian, she is African though. I won't go into other details because who knows maybe he has changed, and now likes different things than he may did in the past. Well, cut the long story short, I saw him yesterday, and he still had that twinkle in his eye - I was not imagining it!!!! He still looked at me, in fact he checked me out (but then again he could just like looking at legs ). I was with two other of my girlfriends, (one is his bestfriend - and main reason I was so sceptical of him and got all my dirty info. about him from).Anyway, he was lovely, mature, he didn't make any moves on me, and I didn't either, and currently there is nothing there, I am just wondering; given this situation. Should I just think; "Nope, he's taken, he's probably going to get married to his girlfriend." - The jig is up topup or should I think "Okay, he's taken, but maybe I shouldn't completely close the doors." - Keep one eye on him topup. With my personality, I don't like to keep too many doors open, unless I know there is a high chance of someone passing through them, so if to the majority of you this situation sounds like an obvious no-go, then I guess this door may have to be closed then. |
| Properties / Re: Architectural Designs For Nairalanders Who Want To Build by topup: 10:56pm On May 08, 2010 |
A few questions: I would just like to know how, these houses are adapted to the climate in Nigeria - basically how has been tweaked to meet the specific requirements of the hot Nigerian sun, as opposed to the temperate to hot temperatures where such are houses were designed i.e. America. . Aasog, those are lovely!! Same question to you. |
| Properties / Re: Any Architects In The House? by topup: 10:53pm On May 08, 2010 |
mahal: It got un-stickied  , Hello Mahal, we've discussed more things since the last time you visited. |
| Romance / Re: How To Win A Lady The First Day You Met Her-5 Killer Tips To Make You Win Her by topup: 1:56am On Apr 28, 2010 |
Yeah yeah, I've been told all of this, but it always ends (if there's no real emotion or truth to support it). What really matters is to hold up to the words you say, what's the point lying? A girlfriend is not a collectable toy, it's not something you should throw away once you're bored. I think there should be less topics about nabbing the 'perfect' girl, but more about being yourself and attracting someone who will complement you to yourself, and possbily where to find that person and what to look for. But hey, am naive, this is really all about how to sleep with the girl - right? 1 Like |
| Romance / Re: How Do I Break Up Wit Her by topup: 1:52am On Apr 28, 2010 |
So basically you were dating someone you didn't love. Okay, well then at least eventually you have come out with the truth, you know what to do, Mr. |
| Romance / Re: Sexy And Promiscious(waywardness) any linkage.? by topup: 1:47am On Apr 28, 2010 |
I giggled at first, because I read your post literally, like maybe the more s-ex you have, the more sexy your eyes will become LOL!! Well, I haven't noticed that in anyone, the only thing is that s-ex does give some people a feeling of instant validation, like "Yes, I'm like the rest!" or "I'm normal." or "Some actually thought I was sexy enough to shag." LOL But, I think just because of the way people view virgins, and people who've had s-ex, it just seems like it's better to be a sexy girl, afterall, it's portrayed that sexy women get all the pick in men, and not necessarily pretty ones, as men seem more shy to approach pretty or beautiful women whilst sexy women seem to get a lot of attention because they give off the vibe that they are up for anything. I think if a woman is exuding s-ex appeal then she will appear sexier, her eyes might even appear like they are twinkling, and it depends, if the woman is 'working it' it will make her even sexier. But usually like all things, it's in the eye of the beholder, so, you think she looks sexier because you think she is sexy, another person may disagree. |
| Romance / Re: Sex Befor Marriage by topup: 1:35am On Apr 28, 2010 |
I love the way that no one has mentioned that it HAS been proven that men who have a lot of s-ex earlier in their life are more likely to suffer a decrease in their libido later on. So maybe it should be the patient virgin who should be worried, that his/her casual s-ex beau has been fully 'spent' elsewhere! S-ex and making-love are two different things, I think pre-intimacy matters intensely during making love, for s-ex, of course it's all about the sensation. A partner who has a low libido can probably be detected through communication before marriage LOL, people act like there's no other form of finding things out that sticking things down holes LOL. . How about you ask, ask how often they think about intimacy, this will reveal both maturity and how comfortable the person is talking about s-ex and their bodies. Many people will never tell their partner that they are not satisfied in bed, and so the test-drive situation is often one-sided or irrelevant in this case. Lastly, people can fake things, women use s-ex to nab men, just watch Maury, many women have wised up to guys saying "I must test drive first" (and I guess women say it too), many woman fake the big O, they put in all their effort to be adventurous and kinky, but then put the ring on, nab the frisky and handsome bachelor and wham, here comes the hair net and hairy legs . .Some Guys are funny. . Since when has test driving stopped people from buying silly cars anyway? People are treating other people like cars, swapping them, treating some like trash, maybe worshipping some, cars have one function to get you from a to b, but even great cars have faults, they break down, some faults are deeply hidden, some faults are not recognised because of trends and following what everyone else is doing. No one ever expects the ferrari to have faults: http://www.fixya.com/tags/360_ferrari |
| Romance / Re: How To Tell If You Are About To Be Dumped by topup: 12:49am On Apr 25, 2010 |
Ah, how time has flown . . |
| Romance / Re: Is It Cruel Or Honest To Tell Someone You Don't Love Them Anymore? by topup: 12:33am On Apr 25, 2010 |
It's not cruel to tell someone you don't love them, what is cruel is telling them you love them when you don't, to make them believe that the feelings are mutual once you've discovered that you no longer care. |
| Romance / Re: How Do I Break Up Wit Her by topup: 12:12am On Apr 25, 2010 |
There's no 'good' way to break off a relationship, I advice you just tell her, I am sure deep down inside she's still unsure whether you'll stay for the long run. Staying wiht her would only please her, you would end up resenting her, feeling forced to stay, captive, and you would end up making her into a monster, just so you can push her away, and then you would end up having a nasty break up!! Trust me, end it now, it will be painful for her, but you will be friends, and she will get over it. She has to understand that there is no reason to force someone to stay with you - it will always backfire. The chances of you cheating will increase, and she could very much lose her virginity. By the way, why did you want to end the relationsgip as soon as you heard she was a virgin? Was it because you knew you would end up pressuring her into sex, or that you would get tempted elsewhere, have you had a bad abstinence-related experience? I'm just curious. . |
| Romance / Re: Intimacy Compatibilty Is A Myth! by topup: 1:34am On Apr 23, 2010 |
How come the married couples who have "discovered themselves" still end up getting divorced, sometimes destroying their children's lives in the process? It is such an immature argument, to relate abstinence to problems in life, as we are all free-willed people, sometimes we are the ones who f*&£ stuff up. Seriously, people do things their way and then they ask why things go wrong. Does the fact that you don't agree with some theories of science mean all theories of science are wrong? How then do you explain your being on the web? Science doesn't explain everything, I agree with some theories, but being a Christian, I do not believe in the fundamental belief that my God does not exist and did not create the world. I think an over-reliance on science, is why when earth-quakes and catastrophies occur, where no scientific device foresees it, that's when people turn to God and ask why 'he' is doing these things, erm - can't science explain that? Another thing is that science is a theory, which many many theories are based upon, even the BIG BANG is a theory, and science works in an "until proven wrong" way (science has become the new religion, so much faith gone into it even though it too has brought disaster - explosions of chemical plants, nuclear wars, chernobyl). People don't remember that there was a time when even scientists believed that the Earth was flat - until it was proved 'wrong', they also believed that the Earth was at the centre of the solar system - until it was proved 'wrong', they also believed that all wounds could be cured by blood letting - until that too was proved wrong (and many more). Yes - man has come a long way and developed, but science is a way of humans trying to understand a world in which they will never fully understand, because contrary to popular belief, we are just a tiny spec on it, plants and animals make far more of this earth. From space we can't even be seen, yet we rule everything - right? My point is, how do you know these solid facts (which are in fact very plausible theories) won't one day also revealed as not really being the case. There are several references in the Bible that remind us that as humans, we will never understand everything, we will never understand all of God's reasons and decisions because we live in a confined bubble called Earth, we will never be able to see the bigger picture, because this is all we've known, and our ancestors have known, and their ancestors have ever known. Another thing is how people refuse to believe on this 'airy fairy' invisble 'made up' 'god', but resort to tarrot readings, fortune readings and cookies, palm reading, witch doctors, horroscopes, witchcraft, apothecary, incense and herbs, speaking to the dead, ghost hunters and more to try and win favour and place their trust in something and fill up the natural human longing to be connected to a 'higher being' with something earthly and man-made. I am not trying to convince anyone to change faiths, as we are all adults here and it is NOT an easy task, everyone has heard the story of Christ (and are very numb to it now), we as are all liable for our decisions, if people choose not to believe that is perfectly fine. I am sure I am going to annoy many people through my post, and this may be moved to the religious section BUT, people do not understand the position in which a 21st century Christian faces. Jokes that people cannot get away with with other religions, e.g. Islam, defacing Mohammed etc., they carelessly throw at Jesus (Christianity), Christians are the butt of every 21st century joke - and for this reason, I have to be even firmer with asserting myself and my beliefs. Christ is painted as this wimpy, pink fellow, with blonde hair and blue eyes, this man who couldn't hurt a fly, and many don't think that he was manly, but these judgements are usually from those who know very little about the faith itself, I am very sure of an excerpt from the Bible that mentioned Jesus rushing into the synagogue, with a whip, and whipping all the people inside out, because they were sinning within it. Jesus was not nice, he was not soft, he was not a push over, he was strong in his faith, after all actions speak louder than words. Many comments bashing Christian beliefs come from those who have heard about it, or have only scratched the surface of it, people want to fit in with the rest of the world, they don't want to become this weird Christian who is not fun, whilst the guys are out enjoying what the ladies are serving, no one wants to opt out, and whilst the girls are getting attention and being 'independent' modern women, no one wants to be the frigid virgin. I do agree with girl846, a lot of people who have grown up within Christian homes, believe that intimacy is okay if it's with the person they love and give into the naturally urges (which everyone has) - as Christians we are supposed to love everyone - so if taken literally that's a bit scary - hehe!! They don't realise that it is not the urges which they are not supposed to have, but it's the lack of attempt to at least manage them. If you want to have lots of intimacy, no one is going to stop you, and no one should judge you, but don't twist The Book, don't try and create a loophole, like "God wants me to be happy in marriage, so surely what I am doing will help me find someone to be happy with in marriage." and "Surely, those people who abstained and are divorcing, are just as bad if not worse, than me having lots of intimacy and making sure that I won't divorce my wife over anything like that."(Man, even I'm tired from typing - will be back to edit). Topup essay post is back!! |
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