Just block the number, call your network operator, they'd be the best option for dealing with pests.

Some great tips on page 1 here, but I have tried a lot and it really is random, I believe falling in love is not always fate, and then it takes the two right people with the two right mind frames at the same time.

I believe that you should prepare yourself for when the right guy for you comes, so that you can notice him and 'catch' him at the right time and not let him walk away from you.

@ OP > I don't think anyone who knows better will advise you how to destroy the girl's existing relationship.

@ ThoniaSlim you won't get an Amen because that's not how prayers work!!

Nice!!

I like this, hopefully more charitable acts, also for the people, and then jobs, and then health care and then. . .

Beautiful couple and beautiful wedding,

Beautiful marriage?

I don't believe this is an attempt to cause trouble and wreak havoc. I mean I can imagine the number of countries that allow US marshalls on their flights that haven't made this agreement public.

I don't think the US is controlling Nigeria, they are simply trying to make themselves feel safer, and possibly reassure any US citizens planning on travelling to and from Nigeria to America.

I think they are focusing on the wrong country/place though, as this particular bombing-attempt cannot be particularly located to a specific place. I am sure if the man in question was born and bred in Nigeria all his life, then we would have less people objecting to the US becoming defensive, but because he wasn't, practically every Nigerian has decided to wash their hands clean of any joint responsibility that would have been forced upon them.

I don't think this decision will change the experience of flight, as for all the underlying rules, systems and relations with America, those are definitely bound to chnage, even probably before the bombing-attempt if I was being completely honest.

Maybe he's attracting the types who like being disrespected. Apparently really pretty girls, are more likely to notice those who don't worship them, i.e. maybe the stingy, rude bad boy.

Frankie, Frank, lord knows how he got those women, but if I've learnt anything it's that you should never underestimate someone, especially if you're judging them based on their appearance.

A little thing called SWAGGER can go a long way.

Hi,

I definitely believe you can get over him, you just need to stop thinking about him when considering other guys, you need to go back to the basics and think about what you want in your perfect guy, you haven't really mentioned anyhting about this guy that makes him indispensible (sp?) so I believe you can find another nice guy. Don't lose hope and stop competing with him, if you two don't end up together - which you say is highly likely - then you will both end up with (hopefully) other loving spouses.

Who cares if he gets married first, focus on you, maybe worrying about him is what has got you going into your relationships with the wrong mentality anyway.

Try doing you from now on, and accept that you will think about him, we all think about people who've made an impact in our lives, it's just he is a bigger deal because you don't want to think about him.

What if she's being honest?? Sounds like you might be trying to play some games, that way you will never see anything for what it truly is, you will always be trying to be one step ahead. I suggest you just keep your eyes wide open, because trying to prevent something isn't possible, you can only protect yourself if it's about to happen or when it starts, trying to pre-empt things doesn't work with love. It's unpredictable.

How is this a game??

She's not a girl, even though she's behaving like one, she is a woman and she is married, she took an oath to honour her marriage, and you're not helping. I doubt you truly care about anything other than getting laid, and trust me, this will become very very messy, there will be no way to leave the whole debaucle with clean hands.

Why chase a married woman when there are plenty single women out there??

oyinda.:

i'm guessing the game was your idea. lol
i think it's silly to be nit picking for faults in ppl.  that's a sure way to make them feel unappreciated.

Thanks for assuming I'm the trouble maker. . lol. The game was not my idea, I don't nitpick people's faults, not unless I am listing pros and cons in order to make a decision about their status as a friend to me. . like now.

Yeah, nitpicking people's faults can make you feel bad, and isn't justified if the person is a nice person, otherwise, if the person hasn't had good home training, sometimes, somethings that should have been curbed, then have to be curbed by the world.

Imagine a short tempered boy, who's mother and father never addressed, grows into a short tempered man, and then his friends have to deal with it, they can either leave if they can't be bothered, or tolerate it, or accept it as just a part of his personality.

My mother always taught me, what the child wouldn't accept/learn at home, the people (outsiders) will teach,  or something along those lines.

Like Ebony mentioned, if you want to kiss him too, then why not, to me it does sound a little class-less, after 4 days of meeting him, and you probably met him at a New year's party right?

Is he even trying to get know anything about you other than the lips on your face?

You should make sure that you have a good idea of the type of guy he is, because one kiss could be a green light for him to think that you and him are on the same wavelength, and maybe his wavelength is telling him that he wants to have intimacy with you.

If you're looking for love, follow your heart, the fact that you're here means, something just isn't making sense with your heart and mind right now.

Approach cautiously.

*Reads more*

From what you've replied to others, I can tell that you know that this guy really wants some sugar from you, but you want love.

He shouldn't really have to ask for a kiss, if both of you understand each other and are on the same wavelength. You sure he understands the kind of relationship you're looking for?

chelseabmw:

so when am old like 120 my manliness will still be working, wow!! i feel good

I can't believe that's what you got out of this.

@ Poster, the story is sad, because none of us have been in her position, how can we comment on what she should have done. Who knows how you would deal with having noone to take you in, but a sex-starved 74 year old man.

This is disgusting, I can understand why the man never had a wife.

The whole idea of rape, is just disgusting.

All those pornographic films he watches are probably influencing him to act more promiscuous. I bet if the househelp had any diseases, he would have probably banished her from his house or punished her - that's probably how sick this man is.

Wow, I know a story too, but I think it's the whole idea that women play games and men, have to be even more agressive.

Sometimes it's difficult to know whether the woman really is fronting or she really is secretly urging the guy, after all some women like it frisky, but my advice to any guy is to just back-off. Protect yourself, if she really wants to be intimate with you, she will be kicking herself, when she realises that she's not going to get any intimacy because of what she said. Chances are she'll be more upfront about her feelings in future, but if you just go on the hunch that you're Hot, and so must she as well, that is a slippery road, because at times your judgement would be clouded by your passion, the heat and hormones.

Just wondering, if any guys felt that their girlfriends had forced them to have sex with them at any time? I'm not talking about a woman who has to be strong enough to, but let's say, she waits until the guard is down and initiates sex. Does that happen?

I know women rape men too.

Very helpful replies. . nice insights

Sometimes it's not about 'the' right girl, because often there isn't ever one.

Some guys will list the qualities they want in a woman but when they get that woman, they still want more, those are the ones that could cheat later in the relationship, because of the wandering eye.

If you get bored easily, it is highly likely that you're not picking girls with great thought, I believe that usually the longer and more thorough you spend getting to know and testing the person you plan to date and be with, the longer the relationship will fare. But if you're net has large holes, it will let a large amount of 'fish' in but, they can easily slip out too.

I think it's worth looking at yourself, I've seen this before. I know too many guys who don't work on themselves who say "when the right girl comes - I'll change" and then this girl that they are madly in love with comes, and they still continue their old habits. I think it takes a combination of the right girl, the time being right for change, and the will power to change.

With all three will come the desired change, because other people can't change us, we have to change ourselves and choose to make it stick, not to expect some girl to come along and do all the dirty work, be sexy enough, wild enough, respectful enough, lovely enough, great at cooking enough, great dancer, spiritual enough so that we don't have to do a thing.

You went to the opposite extreme, if you're shy, you need to get out there, accept that you will get rejected 99% of the time but the 1% that you do strike lucky, will make you feel like you're on top of the world (if you picked well that is).

Rejection is a normal part of life, do you feel inhibited in other areas too?? Like going for something you really want, like a dream job maybe, a new car etc.

Are you generally a self-inhibiting type of guy or is it just women?

Women love to be approached by guys, the ones who reject you harshly are those who obviously need to to desperately restore their low self-esteem, after all there's no need to be rude.

Thanks I've been doing that since I was born, I prefer my cyber friend because I don't have to give myself wholely to them and I can be completely honest 100% of the time, however, you will always remember the good times you had with those 'silly' friends, and I know people have faults, I am starting to pick up bad habits, and I do think it's time to move on. .

Oh hum. .

Take care and thanks for responding.

Hi,

I'm sad. I don't think I have any true friends, all of my 'friends' one or the other have something that I really detest about them, and it's not like me, to put up with things like this, for me I would much rather have less friends than have a lot of 'fake' ones, but I think a lot of my friends were pretending to be what they were not when I first met them, and now I'm stuck with a bunch of girls that I wouldn't have initally chosen to be with. I am being completely honest here, tell me if I need ego deflation.

Anyways, I know I'm not perfect, and I don't just accept, it I actively seek to improve myself.

We had a heart to heart and three of us opened up honestly about the what we like and dislike about each other (TERRIBLE TERRIBLE GAME).

It was here I told a friend that she was bossy, and that also she is a lovely person (I couldn't find anything particular that I liked about her - which shocked me into thinking - have I just been tolerating her this whole time?) Then the other I told her she was very fun to be around with - she completely accepts my quirkiness, but she is actually depressed (no joke) and she is explosive not implossive and doesn't try to work on it, so she just comes with a disclaimer - accept my moodswings and outlashes or leave me alone!)

In this heart to heart I was told that I make a lot of excuses, and knowing me I asked for examples (I genuinely would like to stop doing things to annoy people - I thought most people were like this) but they complained and told me "tp you are always looking for things to fault yourself, you should stop doing this, you don't have to care about what we think, or even try and change" and I argued back, then what's the point of feedback, and also I was hurt thinking that they though that 'they didn't have to care what I thought or even try to change' to make our friendships stronger. It was that moment that I definitely considered my friendships with people, and since then I have discovered that I have nobody. I was used to having nobody, until I met these girls (2 years ago) and they were like my sisters, now I want to be alone. I see myself picking up things like bitching, or hating my body image, or trying to put on the nicest hairstyles for guys, or wearing tight clothes (size too small), and when I noticed I was doing this, I instantly retreated and I am returning to me again, but it's difficult when your friends are the opposite.

I told a friend who always tells me "we need to lose weight" even though at that moment I am very fine with my body figure, and that brings on a wave of insecurity. I told her that I didn't want to talk about my figure or any other woman's figure anymore, I don't read glossy magazines and they all do, they all follow the likes of Kim Kardashian daily and Beyonce and I don't. They say they really like the fact that I am different, but one of them has made a comment that "braids are ok" but "when I had the weave, I looked so much better."

I'm tired Nairalanders, I'm tired.

Oh yes, and I forgot before this surge of sadness came upon me today, I invited them over for a sleepover on friday, and I was previously excited I am now a little bummed. I think I will celebrate it as the last time I will openly allow them to really see the true me again.

Don't get me wrong, they are lovely girls, but that's just not enough for me anymore.

What's happening to me?

You can't run away from a baby, and if you do try and physically run away from some'thing' that is a part of you, then you are practically committing one of the worst things you can do. After all she didn't make a baby.

I believe in life, if you make a mistake, you have to pay for it otherwise you won't learn, who knows good can come from it, you never know, if your future was so important to both of you, you would have both worn protection.

Many people are learning the same lesson you hopefully will learn through conducting deadly diseases and they will never have a second chance again, but running away from your unborn child will remove some of that child's chance to have a father.

In an average nightclub, most people are out for carefree fun, they are not looking for morals or a full-time relationship, I think because you met her in that environment chances are it reflects on the type of person she is.

I don't believe all the girls who are in nightclubs are like this though, just a significant portion of them are.

Anyways,
I definitely think you are being hypocrytical, you seem to have completely removed yourself from the equation. For sleeping around in the earlier part of your life, you have also 'had' several girls, adding numbers to their list of partners, so you are a contributor. I think deep deep down, you are aware of sleeping around is not something respectable otherwise you wouldn't have any problem with having a loose girlfriend either.

I think if you become what you want, you will find it much easily, this means that if you want a woman with morals; get some and apply them too.

You attract like-people, and if not like-people, people will always be attracted to handsome, smart guys who put this to good use, not just f**king away.

You've also cheapened yourself, and since you believe you are a catch, why couldn't she.


If you have a problem with her attitude it's worth talking to her about it, it really is, non of us can tell you why she behaves the way she did, but maybe a previous heartbreak or tough upbringing may have rooted those stereotypes of men in her mind.

What efforts has your friend put in to try and make it work, I think people rarely sympathise with someone who 'just got bored', after all being a Christian as he believes he is, marriage is a covenant that is only broken by death.

A covenant with God.

RealBlunt:

Nairaland girls are either frustrated,miserable,desperate,sad,lonely,cheap,ugly,fat,old or housewives while their men are pervert,loosers,pathetic,short,poor and have small manliness. If not, why on earth would able bodied young men and women who are f**king nobodies gather here to feel like superhero's and think their decision matters to anybody on earth instead of making better use of their time to do something meaninful with their life or in the society. Are there this much dumb Nigerians or what? whenever there is something useless to talk about suddenly they are all participating. GET A LIFE!!! yes am talking to u who is trying to reply.

Lol, why waste your time with this post, it must have taken some thought and consideration.

As for the claims made *sniggles*. . what evidence do you have for this again??

This is the 21st century, the internet and discourse are very relevant and important tools which add an extra dimension for social development, sorry to disappoint you.

When in the year 2015 Lagos becomes the 3rd largest city in the world, will be able to pull the curtain and be proud of what we show the world of how our people live?

lastpage:

Its about having an innate sense of pride, come what may afterall, if it was in Nigeria that the "MP allowance scandal" happened, British people will talk about it for the next five years, write books on it and some "left-handed child immigrant" will join them to rubbish their people and nation, for the next two decades!

Well, something like the MP scandal is not as frequent in the UK, so it's a much bigger deal, it's not just passed as being - yet more proof to how corrupted the country is, it is an embarrasment, and the fact that it was made into a big deal, shows Britain's ability to accept responsibility and shame those who have done wrong despite being in high places.

- And how can you rubbish something that is good. Yes of course the person doing the rubbishing might live in a country that has certain advantages (probably personal ones) over the UK, however the chances are, the person's opinion is laced with their own joyous impression of their country.

The number of unemployed, uneducated people who would flee to the UK in a heartbeat is unfathomable.

emisun:

why do you guys always attache anything good to whiteman.we africans have always lived with tree around the compound long b4 civilization.inferiority complex is worrying a whole lot people.

You don't see 'foreigners' dying to get visas to enter into Africa lol. .

This reminds me of a part I watched in a movie called  "Once upon a time in China." the lead character said that they were substituting China's wonderful heritage for all things 'white' but then at the end of the movie he realised that for a country to succeed it must grow and move with the flow, all whilst keeping a tight hold of its pride and its heritage. You don't lose your heritage by becoming global.

If non-African methods are being adopted, I'd hope that it was because they make sense.

Unfortunately for us, a lot of Africans have not gone to the extent to test and PROVE to the world that their ways of doing things make sense and are viable, instead we use force to prove that we are right.

The world has moved on, and yes some of the things we do may need to be tweaked. No matter how much we change, we will never lose our character and traditions if we CHOOSE not to let it - if we understand that the reason for adopting the new measure is a logical one and not one based on pressures.

Anybody who knows me will say that I am one who will not trade her traditions for anything but there are somethings which simply fall into the category of developing. One being the fact that greenery and some form of structure in the urban landscape adds beauty to the scenery.

Someone please tell me that all of Lagos developed through careful planning - no one?

I studied urban design (and I'm not saying that qualifies any of my statements), and it has been proven time and time again that a well planned environment pays off.
We can't say this is the 'white man's way of doing things' our ancestors planned the layout of their huts, they laid everything out, and decorated what was important to them and what held some significance, ordering things is not a crime.

MandingoII:

He did not lie.

He told the truth.

the issue is:


Why is Lagos so Brown?

and

wHAT happened to all your forest?

I'm sure Nigerians know that anwser, RIGHT?

Damn right!!

When the people say there is nothing that needs changing, don't be surprised if all you hear from the leaders is there is nothing that needs to be changed.

We need to open our eyes, and understand that every country gets 'ridiculed' because every country has an will continue to make mistakes, non of us are perfect.

Let me give you an example, Chinese people have been made fun for centuries, being funny looking, eyes, cheekbones, skin colour, and labelled as restaurant workers, and my impression is that they don't really care, and this is GOOD because they let their actions speak louder than words. Did everyone watch the Beijing olympics, did we not admit that China has structure, China has grace, technology and wealth?

No amount of hate mail directed at the people teasing them could have solved this reputation.

When faced with criticism the best response is action that cannot be faulted, it even makes those who made the judgements seem obviously ignorant.

When Nigeria becomes the world's no.1 for something notable, then the world will respect us.

We should be training heros, people who will change Nigeria and put it on the map for great things.

We have to stop standing by what Nigeria was and what it could be, but instead face the reality of what it is. Once we've faced it, we'll know where to go next.

I read a report that stated that the average life expectancy in Nigeria was 45/51 years for male and females respectively, and I was shocked - "this can't be true." my great grandmother died at the age of 85 and I still have one who is close to a hundred years old. But then I thought what about the lives of those who I see selling food on the side of the street, how do they live and the millions unemployed with no way of getting healthcare or education.

Then I realised this statistic was probably true. By opening my eyes to my surroundings I realised how privileged I am, but then with these statistics I realised the truth of the country which I call my home.

We can do better.

Well,

I can see how a group of girls can be intimidating for a guy that isn't completely secure of himself, but then again, how many of us are secure with ourselves.

I know I could and have walked up a group of guys before, usually, you don't have to do anything when you're approaching a group, because they are usually all too busy talking anyway, afterall they are usually eager to see you. When a guy comes to say hi to me and if I'm with some friends, everyone takes a turn, and imagine if there are 4 other girls the guy will only have to speak once out of 5 times and smile occasionally.

Unfortunately for me the problem comes because my friends do not completely reflect my personality, but I think this makes me stand out more, because they realise that I am very different and able to be strong enough to do me, and be completely myself. It's worked before, and I keep my friends and my relationship very separate, ex bfs have never complained about that.

However, this convo was prompted by a guy saying he did have a crush on me, but then he doesn't like girls in a groups, which was a diluted way of saying I hate your friends. I have multiple groups of friends so I don't worry this says more about him than it does the guy.

naijaking1:

Good choice of word.
I wish there's another picture to show the smoke and dust surrounding our cities as you land from the air.

The fact that the satellite image shows Lagos to be 'brown' proves the amount of dust in the air.