Topup's Posts
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 TV/Movies › Re: Gulder Ultimate Search 5 (GUS V) by topup: 4:51pm On Aug 09, 2008 |
[color=#cc0066]No ultimate lady?[/color] |
| Romance › Re: My Relationship: I Want Out! by topup: 1:25am On Aug 09, 2008 |
[color=#cc0066]Firstly, I will advice you if you haven't already to give all you have (in effort) to this relationship. If you have already but still came to this conclusion then you should discuss this with him. Don't do the immature thing by ignoring him or distancing yourself, you may think it's letting him down gently but it makes the dumpee feel like 'what have I done wrong'. The guy sounds sweet, and you gotta let him know that he will not benefit in a relationship in which the person he's with doesn't want to be with him, you can't make someone love you. If he's smart he'll understand, but if he's selfish he'll still want you to stay. Have a mature talk with him, that is my answer, and be firm, not harsh, firm. Good Luck Oh yes, tell the truth, if he asks anything, tell him the truth, don't try and use cliches or lie![/color] |
| Romance › Re: Malice In Relationships? Your Views: by topup: 1:19am On Aug 09, 2008 |
[b][color=#cc0066]Well, I thought everything can be talked through like adults but I don't think that is the case with some people, some people it doesn't hit home how hurt you are unless you keep malice. I mean hopefully the guy or girl will apologise, but what happens if he/she doesn't? What if they are okay enduring it, but you are breaking up inside? What then, then you have to go back on your word, and you look like a fool, and he/she'll lose a little bit of respect for you, because you a) didn't stick it through 'til you got the point across, because you value him/her so highly that you traded in your feelings to be with him/her again. or b) because you realised that you weren't worth the fight, which you are, but you going back, shows that you don't think that. Lastly, I've been keeping malice with my ex, it makes sense. I tried the mature, let's be amicable route, and there are no positive results, so I have no choice but to implement the silent treatment, which doesn't affect anybody at this moment. But I know it will when he starts missing me LOL!! Or when his rebound babe leaves.[/color][/b] |
| Romance › Re: Are You Shy Of Open Relationships? by topup: 1:13am On Aug 09, 2008 |
[b][color=#cc0066]YesYesYes! This is true. I only keep my relationship away from parents because, you're only supposed to bring it to them once you have decided this is the one to marry, many parents just don't wanna know, or would rather believe that their sons and daughters, are spending all their time at evening mass and night vigil instead. On one hand: I SO wished I published it to the world, because only after our relationship are people saying, that guy was a 'bad guy'. And then maybe he wouldn't have been able to mess around as much. On the other hand: I like to keep my private life private, and I feel it's a bit of a disrespect to be proclaiming your relationship, as if it was some celebrity stunt, if it is real then it doesn't matter who knows, as long as both of you are happy. Most of it is pride though, there's a chance the relationship might not work, and so if you go and proclaim it, then people will be asking 'oh, how is your boyfriend' when it's over, and you have to explain to everybody how he left you, how you left him, how you don't want to talk about it, how it is non of their business and such. What a hassle![/color][/b] |
| Romance › Re: Do We Need A TV Show To Discourage Men Who Cheat? by topup: 11:56pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
Hannibal:[color=#cc0066] |
| Romance › Re: Do We Need A TV Show To Discourage Men Who Cheat? by topup: 11:55pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
[color=#cc0066]About the issue on cheating men being stupid, the person who brought that up is actually being fooled. The ones who aren't stupid, who have deleted the text messages, who have cancelled the call lists exist, they are worse I think, because they are undercover. There are lots more people who cheat, but only a percentage of them don't cover their tracks properly. The smart ones are the same guys we are praising for being loyal and 'being a real man', he's just smarter about his business. So smart that you don't even know he's doing it. Nontheless, it's not a reason for any woman to get paranoid. Btw, this is a response, I am not saying women don't cheat, this is just a response to a post I read earlier, quoted so many times I don't know (and frankly can't be bothered finding out) who posted the original. Peace[/color] |
| Romance › Re: When A Guy Introduces You To His Friends: by topup(op): 11:19pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
[color=#cc0066]iice, lol your signature[/color] |
| Romance › Re: Why Would A Man Leave His Woman After A Long Relationship? by topup: 11:15pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
proo212:[color=#cc0066]Thanks!  That is true, why did he stay for such a long time? But you can only really look at that if you consider his lifestyle. A relationship between two people who see each other everyday for long periods of time, will go through each phase much quicker than one in which the two people involved see each other once a week. Another reason could just be that for the past 3 years and 364 days he has been living in a lie, in denial. Or maybe believed that he could hack it through. I have a friend who has been going out with his girlfriend for almost 2 years now, and he repeatedly uses the fact that two years is a long time to know someone, as a reason why he just can't let it go, though him and his girfriend fight continuously over the same issue. He believes that they can overcome it, maybe the guy genuinely did believe that he could overcome whatever hang up he had about the relationship. Because the girl is actually confused as to why he left, I'd say he never opened up to her any sign of doubt, though maybe she just was in denial herself. If the love you two have is not progressing and increasing, you really have to look and see why not. When a relationship halts, and the only thing to prove it's development is time, as in, there are no changes, nobody's growing, nobody's getting closer or becoming more open, you have to realise that if you don't nip this at this stage then it could get worse.[/color] |
| Romance › Re: When A Guy Introduces You To His Friends: by topup(op): 10:35pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
[quote author=$$Rhino link=topic=157950.msg2628918#msg2628918 date=1218216640]I so mch disagree with that, he will never introduce u to his friends while you there if all yu just said were true, he could point at you from afar and say all that.[/quote][color=#cc0066]Now I disagree with you. I think that it is possible that they could have an inside joke, and when you're gone, they could diss you, that is if he's only with you for the 'goodies'.[/color] |
| Romance › Re: Why Do You Love Me? by topup: 10:32pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
Orikinla:[color=#cc0066]Wonderful! I just knew men like this existed, but then again, actions speak louder than words and I hope you also show 'your woman' how much you love her.[/color] |
| Romance › Re: Do We Need A TV Show To Discourage Men Who Cheat? by topup: 10:05pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
j-girl lol your signature! |
| Romance › Re: Do We Need A TV Show To Discourage Men Who Cheat? by topup: 10:04pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
lol Rhino!! |
| Romance › Re: Do We Need A TV Show To Discourage Men Who Cheat? by topup: 10:02pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
[color=#cc0066]The problem isn't society, the problem is the way the men and women have grown up, and even more, their past relationships, their upbringing. Out of all the countries in the world, we know Nigeria is well known for polygamy, because traditionally, it is acceptable in certain cultures/tribes. It began long before this 21st century idea that the media has made people have fidelity issues. I think the number of children who's parents argue and almost live separate lives, who's fathers have girlfriends on the side or who's mothers have run abroad or started almost like a separate life for themselves (though still attached to the man via marriage) is shockingly high. I mean my mother and father have been brought together under the term marriage, but they live in different continents, my father if he wanted to could have a girlfriend on the side and my mother another man, truly, since they are both living separate lives. If I grew up thinking this was okay, I could also have a higher chance of cheating, as I wouldn't see the taboo aspect of it.[/color] |
| Romance › Re: Why Do You Love Me? by topup: 9:56pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
onyinye2:[color=#cc0066]I like![/color] |
| Romance › Re: Why Do You Love Me? by topup: 9:54pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
sistawoman:[color=#cc0066]At least he didn't deny loving her! Phew! Also, there's a difference between putting in words the reason why you love someone and actually having no reason to love someone. It could simple be that he can't quite grasp that emotion that he feels about his wife. But I guess if he shrugged his shoulders, burped, scratched his ass and said 'dunno' then continued to watch his sports game, then I'd be a little concerned. Not everybody can encapsulate their woman into one word or description, maybe he just can't describe it. I think it's best to give him the benefit of doubt, after all he married her. Now worries.[/color] |
| Romance › Re: Finding It Hard To Get Over Your Ex? by topup(op): 9:17pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
HCH3COO:[color=#cc0066]Yeah, I chuckled because it was another one of your 'say anything to cause a stir' type of responses, and you couldn't just leave it alone. As for the second sentence, I'll be the judge of that, [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Finding It Hard To Get Over Your Ex? by topup(op): 9:15pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
[color=#cc0066]the email is YAYAYA I'll have this up for 24hrs, for the convinience of babygirlfl[/color] |
| Romance › Re: If Your Fiance Was Raped Two Days To Your Wedding, What Would You Do? by topup: 6:11pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
[color=#CC0066]Firstly, I am sure she was more traumatised than the groom. I would try my best to comfort her, I think what I wouldn't do is to be like 'I'm leaving you. You've been defiled before me.' because I am sure, she would now feel like her world is coming to a horrible hault. I think offer support for her, also if I truly loved her, though it would hurt, I would still continue with the wedding, it is hard because maybe the image is burned into the back of your retina, but if it is true love, then you are understanding enough, and you'd want what was best for her. I don't know what you'd do if you completely couldn't get past it, because you may feel like you want to leave her, but I can asure you, that would break her heart and she may need counselling after that. If you stayed, you would have proved hugely that your love is strong.[/color] |
| Romance › Re: Influenced By My Friends And Now I'm Just Like Them :( by topup(op): 5:54pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
Tweek:[color=#CC0066]Honestly, I believe the reason why guys seem to'get over it' so quickly and silently is because they never speak about it or dote on it, now this doesn't mean that they have truly gotten over it. My ex talked about the girl who hurt him, and the expression of pain on his face was still written, whilst I laugh when I realise my past relationship with a guy who left me for another woman, because I truly went through the pain, talked it out and though longer, I actually got over it. Men keep all their pain and hurt inside because it's even worse for your friends to see, you, a man, tear up or show that you have let a female get to you and make you vulnerable, that's the worst for a guy. Whilst a girl is more likely to be open and admit to all her friends, how much her ex hurt her and they comfort her, a guy will not do that, he would be too afraid to lost respect from his friends. I think girls get over it and guys tend to forget. Who knows, both techniques work, I guess  [/color] |
| Romance › Re: The Male Species by topup: 5:49pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
[color=#CC0066]Hehe, I have had a relationship with Mr UGLY and used to see a MR GOOD and another MR UGLY , Where is MR RIGHT? - Good you ommitted it, because sometimes MR UGLY for one woman can become a MR RIGHT for a different woman (if he stays that is  )[/color] |
| Romance › Re: Why Would A Man Leave His Woman After A Long Relationship? by topup: 5:38pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
adexway:[color=#CC0066]Well said, though you said that 'if the woman changes over time, the man get bored of being used to the same thing' - if she's changing then it ain't the same thing. Most people don't start to understand what they truly need in a relationship until they've been through quite a few, in the meantime, breaking hearts and having theirs broken. I have a very strong opinion though is that the idea which most young single guys have about 'sex being a necessity' disappears, as they realise that it's one of the worst things you can base a decisions for a successful relationship on, later in life, they start the search for something deeper, which is harder, I pray God gives us all somebody to love who loves us. [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Influenced By My Friends And Now I'm Just Like Them :( by topup(op): 5:37pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
mecussey:[color=#CC0066]Yes give examples please, Do you mean on the issue of a sexual relationship, being used for sex is perceived to hurt a female more than a male?[/color] |
| Romance › Re: Why Would A Man Leave His Woman After A Long Relationship? by topup: 5:24pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
hilz:[color=#CC0066]I think that the above is a great summary for a short relationship, that wasn't expected to last but has. If anybody approaches a serious relationship, looking for 'da now thing' it probably isn't going to work. That's what happened to me. You see, in a long relationship, the man has probably gotten used to you being a part of his life, that he keeps going on with it, and if he finds noone else at the time that he could see himself with, then you temporarily are the best he thinks he can get - 'til she turns up. Familiarity for some ties them to the relationship, instead of love. Another thing to consider is whether the relationship is only just routine, you're both so used to it that there's no fun in it. I personally think, that thinking about how long a couple have been going out, isn't helpful, because at times more emphasis is placed on the number of years rather than how strong/genuine the love you have between each other. Guys are more patient than we give them credit for, I think their minds work faster than we think, though men often say women are too quick as in 'we're thinking about marriage, 2 months into the relationship' but the thing is men are a lot more faster, they went through the wedding phase, when they were professing their everlasting love for you. But are now in the divorce stage, when the spark has gone, and because we're only still in the 'everything's going great phase' we fail to notice this. The more serious relationships a guy has, I think increases the time he can endure in relationships and increases his patience, that's if the girl ticks his boxes for a potential wife.[/color] |
| Romance › Re: Influenced By My Friends And Now I'm Just Like Them :( by topup(op): 5:11pm On Aug 08, 2008 |
mecussey:[color=#CC0066]Please enlighten me further, what do you mean by a woman should leave a guy, but a guy should stay? Don't you think women and men can be equally vicious as players?[/color] |
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