₦airaland Forum

HCH3COO:
It's okay hun. It could be worse, right?

Yes, there could be hidden sarcasm behind your every word, !!!!!

. . .

My all time favourites are:

"i miss being happy"

and "Listen, these bloody scratches on my back weren't caused by another lover, it was my 3-year old son."

and "Ever since we started dating, I just don’t have the time to do the things that are important to me. I love you, but I want to spend more time golfing and painting."

HCH3COO:
ROTFLMFPBAOPIMFPASWIP! Break ups get level sha.

We get it, the jokes on me. For feeling emotions I can't control, and instead of crying on my pillow, and keeping it all inside I am talking about it.

I'm not gonna apologise that I enjoy Nairaland that much and find most interest in the romance section. If anybody knew more about me they'd know that I am a very romantic person. On other forums, I help teens and give them advice on sexuality and relationships, only Nairaland are the people on my back.

In response to Ruby_Pearl , I am not currently crying at this moment. I am currently trying to forget about how my ex seems to have moved on without me, and it's not helping if everybody keeps refering back to him as the reason for my interest in the romance section.

Something tells me chamotex that wasn't the full story, just something.

[quote author=Ruby_Pearl link=topic=157947.msg2621159#msg2621159 date=1218079152][size=15pt]NA WA O!!! THE GUY DON SUFFER FROM YOUR HANDS!!



HE'S JUST A GUY, SO HE WAS PERFECT ONCE UPON A TIME.

GET OVER HIM, THERE ARE MANY GUYS OUT THERE!! AND YOU'RE STILL YOUNG.


you're depressing yourself!![/size][/quote]What is everybody's problem on this forum, ?

Sheesh!?! I like to post, so what?

In the last hour I have posted more than 20 replies in the romance boards, I only pic the ones interesting to me. It is NOT the guy that is making me do this, I found the group online, it is funny. That is it. My favourite lines weren't even used on me. I just thought I'd share it. Look at the romance board, there are so many topics I have commented on this last hour, so why only pic on the ones that refer to exs. Exs are part of relationships and romance and life, so I should ignore all of them because people are thinking I'm some maniac,

*sobs* nobody understands!

Leave me alone! Stalker!

Hmmmm. I'm in a position where I don't know if my ex wants to cut all communication altogether, he may also be trying to hint me nicely.
He asked if we could be friends after the relationship, but I ignored him at first (was still hurting), but now that I am feeling better and quite over it (lost all hope), I'm messaging him, of course we're not gonna be buddies, but he is taking his sweet time to reply, basically he's not being totally responsive. I guess some people could feel uncomfortable getting close to their exs again. Mannn I don't know the true reasons behind the breakup, nevertheless. I realised this and thought, I should just leave him alone, maybe he's pissed I ignored him and has moved on, but the thing is he occassionally replies, I'm confused,
Maybe I should also just reciprocate with occassional replies, though I don't like all this game playing nonsense,

And why would that be? Being in a serious relationship is like being in a relationship with your best friend of opposite sex, except that the opposite sex means you can get close on a sexual level too ,

Now why would you want to lose a friend, there must have been a reason you went out with the guy in the first place, (well, unless the guy/girl was a jerk)

I'm missing the joke here!!

har har?

I read somewhere that guys tend to hurt more, for the reasons mentioned by other people.

Guys hold it inside, they hide it from their guy friends, they seek quick fixes and rebound relationships and never want to actually address the pain hence they live in a bubble for the same weeks/months the girl is crying, and her girlfriends are cheering her up, and she's opening up, talking about her pain, her fears and anxieties.

Seun:
If a relationship is going nowhere, it needs to end, because time waits for no man or woman! So, this question is valid. I think what happens is that the person will be creating a distance between both of you.

Yup, like a personality change.
That's their way of saying buh-bye. It's sad, because a mature adult would have 'the talk' but some people just ignore your calls, texts, they don't message, they're always too busy. You can see it, it's a drastic change from how the person was before.

I wish I found this before I went on a psycho trip (after seeing his party pics online, and being told he was flirting with another girl the same say we broke up) I completely went back on our word of remaining friends, I ignored him message, and only contacted him 20 days after we broke up. 'Til this day the communication is the weirdest thing ever, wait one day for a reply, 5, or maybe 9 when I sure know the guy checks his email daily.

Now I've calmed down even if he played me, me not being involved with him anymore as dissolved the anger, so I don't care and actually wouldn't mind reaching some sort of amiacable agreement of friendship, but the guy's ego is hurt so he's probably 'making the girl' (me) suffer. Now I have no choice but to leave the friendship idea completely,

And yet another hole in my contacts list.

I hope he's begging for you now, or if you're completely over him, I hope he's left you alone.

Does that mean he's serious about you?

I think if you've maturely told her you're not interested and she's actually admitted the reason for the contact, who knows maybe she just needs a friend to talk to, b/fs don't realise how safe we feel with them, and how much we open up to them, things our girlfriends don't even know. Anyways, maybe block her, she should get mad enough to want to move on, but if not just ignore her, I don't think she's desperate, she just doesn't seem to have pride. Anyways, it's probably 'cos you're all the way in AMERICARRRR now,

Join in! I got these from various websites and forums, I have heard quite a few and it makes me laugh, because they don't actually address the situation at hand, they're more like cliches, nontheless enjoy! - and add your own too!

1. It's not you, it's me.

2. I think we should see other people.

3. I think we have grown apart.

4. I just don't love you like I used to.

5. You are better off without me.

6. I am better off without you.

7. You can find better than me.

8. I have found better than you.

9. I need some space.

10. Yes, I love you, but I really, really hate you too.

11. I just cant live with the pathetic tickles that you call 'sexual thrusts' anymore.

12. I undoubtedly did love you, but those feelings got worn down over time with the way our relationship went. I don't blame you at all for what happened, but think it was one of those things where we drifted apart for all sorts of reasons, including your illness, and the pressure of supporting you through various crisises.

13. I can't be with you because you are graduating and I never went to college.

14. Life is too short to make mistakes.

15. Music is just more important to me than you are. But I love you so, so much as a friend.

16. We have to many music differences. I really like the new Radiohead stuff and you're just into the old stuff.

17. I've never really felt passion with you. Well maybe a little. But I've never felt anything so deep and intense like I did with my ex.

18. The sex is great, but I just don't love you.

19. It's not like if we tried for the rest of our lives, you would get to be better in bed.

20. Ever since we started dating, I just don’t have the time to do the things that are important to me. I love you, but I want to spend more time golfing and painting.

21. I'm going to ask you nicely, LOOSE MY PHONE NUMBER!

22. It just occurred to me that I can't keep doing this; what we're doing is wrong in so many ways.

23. You're my best friend and I love you, but you need to be independent of me.

24. I think we have three choices: 1) stay together, 2) take a break, or 3) break up entirely, and I want 2 or 3.

25. I suppose I love you, but I'm not "in love" with you. I could never love you like I loved my ex-wife.

26. Where do we go from here? We've done everything already.

27. It's pointless for us to be together because I'm going away in 11 months for college anyway.

28. I just can't. I can't take the risk because I really don't think I like you anymore.

29. I love my mother more than I love you. Get your stuff and get out.

30. I'm just not ready to date anyone right now. I still really, really like you.

31. I still care about you, but I gotta screw my own head on straight and figure out who I am by myself, and then settle down.

32. This just isn't for me. Nothing personal. I want to be able to tell people I'm single.

33. I just want to be a typical teenage girl/guy.

34. Nothing has changed between us. None of the intimacy that we have has been lost. I just want to explore my feelings for someone else, that's all.

35. I wish I had just stayed your friend.

36. The two years that we've been together, a part of me has been lost, but I have now found myself so it's goodbye.

37. I'm not pushing you away; I'm not making any descisions right now, but I'm confused, and I'm hurting, and I am not over my last relationship.

38. This is MY gig, and if you CAN'T GET that it's MY gig, then there is no place for you in my life. There's NO more (me) and (you).

39. You given me your love and I have only given you my friendship, so I have been mulling it over for the last two years, and decided it is not fair to you. It is not your fault it is me.

40. We don't DO our emotional business in the same way.

41. I see where this is going -- towards a relationship. I have a lot of demands on my time, and I just don't have the space and time to devote to one.

42. I'm not putting the brakes on this, I'm just orienting it towards another direction.

43. Well, I don't think just not talking to you is going to be enough space for me.

44. I think you're a lovely woman/man, but I've just come out of a relationship, and the reason I did is because I didn't want to be in one. I want to be free - if you know what I mean.

45. You mean more to me than life itself - but I'm suicidal - so F*** off!

46. I can't see myself with you when I am eighty.

47. I want be able to see other women/men without hurting you.

48. I couldn't ask you to trust me again after the way I've behaved, it wouldn't be fair.

49. I've found someone else. I'm so sorry. Shall we go tell the kids?

50. I'm sorry. I can't. Don't hate me.

51. We don't see each other that much anymore, and I'm content with the way things are right now.

52. You've done nothing wrong. It's me, I've just lost interest. Take care of yourself.

53. We have the perfect love at the wrong time, I'm so sorry.

54. I miss being HAPPY!

55. Whatever feelings I had for you in the beginning, I have lost in the end.

56. Something tells me you and I aren't right, and I have to act on that.

57. I've decided I'm just not ready for a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

58. You talked about the future, and that freaked me out. It makes me sick to think about it.

59. I have a lot of growing up to do.

60. I moved things TOO fast between us which was NOT right.

61. How will I know I want to spend the next 50 years with you unless I date other people?

62. Listen, these bloody scratches on my back weren't caused by another lover, it was my 3-year old son.

63. I am breaking up with you now before you get too attached to me, so I am doing you a sort of favor, aren't I?

64. Because I am not in love, I don't think I can make love to you anymore.

65. Don't bother coming over tomorrow night because I don't wanna see you anymore.

66. You simply can't make the heart feel something it won't, and mine won't I am sorry.

67. Actually, I think I see you more as a friend than anything else.

68. I don't need the hassle any more than you do, so I'll say 'goodbye.

69. I can't see you anymore. Your house is a tip and mine is spotless and I'm a bloke.

70. You don't smile enough. Saying you are happy and looking it are two different things.

71. I, um, just don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know what I want. I don't feel comfortable going forward with this.

72. You're my best friend in the world, and I love you to death, but you're like a sister/brother to me.

73. "I need to get closer to God" AND "Its just too tempting to be with you"

74. "I'm commitmentphobic"

75. "No. I like you. But you spent too much money on me, so I now have to be in a relationship with you, which makes me angry. I can't wear the necklace because it is tying me to this relationship.

76. "I WASN'T CHEATING ON YOU!!! I WAS CHEATING ON HER"

77. "I LOVE YOU, (1 MINUTE LATER), I JUST DON'T THINK YOU ARE RIGHT FOR ME"

78. "I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR A GIRLFRIEND"

79. "YOU ARE TO PRETTY FOR ME"

80. "YOU ARE TO MUCH LIKE THE PERSON I WANT TO MARRY"

Wow yes, he has never let me down.

The guy, because of the fact that he regrets leaving her means that she was a good girl, he lost a good girl,

Sounds like lust to me.

Though I'm sure your problem's probably sorted itself out now, (A whole year has passed)

You want to be in charge? Try and figure out what exactly makes you feel uncomfortable, do you want her to depend on you, and need you? Do you want her to take a seat back, try talking this out with her, don't approach it as if you want her to change, but you want her to understand that she should involve you more in the decisions made in the relationship.

Yes, though it's hard to fairly compare the two. I love my girlfriends so much, they lift my spirits, the only thing though I will complain about is when I frikkin needed to go out to party and take my mind off *ahem* certain things and *ahem* certain people, they were all too busy, and I was stuck at home with the tears and stuff!

I don't need money I got my own, I'd rather support myself, though you get those guys who get annoyed when the girl tries to pay for the dates and things like that.

what happened? - he started becoming distant
how it happened? - not calling anymore, texting or messaging or seeing me, always out with the boys
where it happened? - near my house where he lives, he was always hiding at home, watching movies, blocking the world out
who initiated the breakup? - i did, i wanted him to tell me what was making him want to isolate himself from me especially since we were close enough to open up about fears etc,
how did you take it? - was really upset cos it happened so fast
how did you get over it?, and many possible questions as they occur to you
help others learn from you

- I'm still getting over it, I didn't get closure so occassionally I think about it. But this isn't good advice but I'd say close the door!! Close the door! If he wants you he'll put the effort into opening the door again. Don't think of the what if's and give yourself hope, because if he never gives a second thought about you, you'll be devastated when you find out from facebuk that he's got a new girl

I had to reply to this topic now, only 3 replies, I'm going through everything, so nobody better make a sly comment about me still doting on this guy o!!

What I applaud is your honesty and maturity, we are humans we all make mistakes and have regrets. As hard as it sounds try and move on because God has aleady forgiven you, even before you asked for it, now you gotta work on pleasing God rather than doting on the regret.

It's good that you know where your responsibilites are, and if I was your wife I would respect that if nothing else.

I believe when you meet the right girl, these feelings of shyness should pass or lessen, I mean you are gambling losing a potential match for feelings of insecurity, which are natural by the way.

Just try and talk to more women, get to know them, give them the benefit of doubt but be smart, don't over invest yourself, lay your ideas and wants down, when you start talking to your female friends about how you truly feel the ones who feel similarly will gravitate towards you.

Don't worry it should get easier with practice, and who knows a lady who feels a strong connection with you might just walk up to you. I hate all this game playing stuff, if either the guy or girl has feelings, they should express them, obviously not in a stalkerish way but just laying them down.

Also, why do guys always think that a serious relationship means they have to marry the person, I think what you're truly afraid of is falling so crazily in love that you can't control yourself like you used to do. That's what most men fear, they fear being controlled by their partners when they don't realise it's not the woman controlling them (in most cases) it's the desire to want to show their affection and please their g/f that makes them do things like cancel nights out with the boys, try and quit nasty habits, smarten up and become serious.

Just being nosey. I wonder whether you're still as crazy in love with this girl. Such extremes of emotions come and go, what stays is true love, the understanding, contentment in the other.

Depends merely on the person's morals. I think for sure the more beautiful girls will get hit on more often, so I guess it does increase their chances of being tempted. However, the fact lies, if the girl is completely happy with you and sees a future ahead with you, she will not be unfaithful, if she has any doubts then you should worry.

Do you see her occassionally? Try and run into her, and collect her no. or something, find out if she's got a b/f already first.

I believe intially you should give each other the space to think and breathe. Then contact each other to try and reach a friendly medium.

I didn't quite manage to pull that off and that's why I'm here sulking on the romance boards. I think definitely seek for friendship, they were once part of your life, in future you may want to say hello and how can you, when you've lost touch, you've disconnected all their lines, you've given them every insult in the book, or shown them your stalkerish side.

Well, from my own experience, I am trying to be friendly and he is taking his sweet time to reply, despite him being the one to end it.

I will always be there if he wishes to talk, but it's an ego thing. You gotta suck it in, trust me it might seem humbling, because it is! You feel hurt but you must be there for the other person, like I said before, you were part of each other's life. Eventually the other person should come around, if not, just treat them like a distant friend, a hello once in a while, but don't beg or grovel for responses. Just let them be, if your distance friend does not reply, don't try and force it, don't escalate it to trying to call him, or trying all his emails and contacts.

Try and find out the sneakiest way you how he's feeling about the breakup (as in he should never find out).