₦airaland Forum

Nice

PAGAN 9JA:
HEY SHUT UP! WE ARE TRUE NIGERIANS! WE DONT BELIEVE IN YOUR DEAD ISRAELI FOREIGN GOD!

EVERYONE INCLUDING THAT PASTOR KNOWS THAT IDEMILLI PYTHONS [size=16pt]NEVER[/size] HARM KIDS.

If we found a python, we wouldpick it up and put it in a bush.


GO WORSHIP YOUR DEAD GOD JESUS! OUR GODS ARE ALIVE IN ITS CREATIONS AS THIS PYTHON OR IN YOU AND ME!

Your jesus is worse than a dog. MUMU

Dudeeeee!! I thought the unbelievers were meant to be free spirits, taking thing easy and showing good sense.
Why are you so angry? Insulting Jesus and all? Just calm down abeg. If you don't like Jesus, that's cool.
But many folks here believe in Jesus, so insulting Him doesn't make any sense.
If you insult a man's belief, you insult the man. Take is easy bro. This life is not that difficult.

With all this bitterness on Nairaland, I wonder how people here actually lead their lives. SMH

mallorca: Pastor don kill harmless Eke Idemili
Enternal rest grant unto you Eke Idemili and let pepertual light shine upon you

LMAO... Dude you are crazy.

Funny and sensitive thread.
I am a christian and also from Anambra.
Indeed we don't kill pythons.
It has been an age long tradition.
At the worst you take it out of your home with a stick.

On the other hand, it's easy to lose it when you see the snake with your kids.
I think the man's actions could be understandable assuming he's telling the truth.

A bill of 54k is also reasonable from the community.
In my place, you will carry out a proper funeral with all the funeral rights.
That will definitely trump 54k.
They should just settle the matter so that everyone will go their way.

Lessons-
1. Whatever you preach, respect the law of the land.
That a chicken or goat wanders into your compound or farm, and eats your yam, does not mean that you should kill it.
Neither should you burn a koran (or bible) just because you have no firewood to cook (even though you bought it with your money).

2. Eke (snake) this is the 21st century and people are not happy; you cannot be entering any home you want anymore. So you have to chill.

Next time I see Nnam Ochie, I will ask about the origin of this tradition.
Anyone who knows in the house should please enlighten me.

Acidosis: Lol.... next time make sure you inform your dad.

This silent/personal treatment while trying to protect the image of a potential r@pist is the reason why we have a very rate of r@pe and child abuse in africa.



and did I hear you call that man, friend?

Many likes

It is really very simple. A case of "you did no allow our son to rule in peace, we will not allow your son to rule in peace".More so, the guy is a beneficiary of amnesty so he also has financial incentive to cause trouble. Buckle up folks, trouble is here to stay.

I'm so loving this weapons 101 class. Who are you guys and how do you all know so much about weapons?

I support.

sauer: https://gifsforum.com/images/gif/fail/grand/fail-eccbc87e4b5ce2fe28308fd9f2a7baf3-2578.gif

How could this dude continue walking after seeing the girl trip.
Some people get mind sha.

morpheus24: Don't think so

The real reason is Africans see european destinations as desirable because they are programmed to believe these are the best destinations to go to.

I mean I am not saying one should spend every waking moment in Africa but put it on the table as a possibel destination.

The truth is really this simple!!! It's all about marketing.

This guy's responses are so pedestrian, uncultured and without any iota of finesse. I bet he could have said the same thing but in a more politically correct and diplomatic manner. Is this the best that is available to the president?

MAN RULES (culled from facebook)

Just saw this on facebook. Funny too.

AT LAST A GUY HAS TAKEN THE TIME TO WRITE THIS ALL DOWN
FINALLY, the guys' side of the story. ( I MUST ADMIT, IT'S PRETTY GOOD.)

WE ALWAYS HEAR 'THE RULES' FROM THE FEMALE SIDE
NOW HERE ARE THE RULES FROM THE MALE SIDE

THESE ARE OUR RULES!

PLEASE NOTE. THESE ARE ALL NUMBERED #1 ON PURPOSE!

1. MEN ARE NOT MIND READERS.

1. LEARN TO WORK THE TOILET SEAT. YOU'RE A BIG GIRL. IF IT'S UP, PUT IT DOWN. WE NEED IT UP, YOU NEED IT DOWN. YOU DON'T HEAR US COMPLAINING ABOUT YOU LEAVING IT DOWN.

1. CRYING IS BLACKMAIL.

1. ASK FOR WHAT YOU WANT. LET US BE CLEAR ON THIS ONE:

SUBTLE HINTS DO NOT WORK!
STRONG HINTS DO NOT WORK!
OBVIOUS HINTS DO NOT WORK!
JUST SAY IT!

1. YES AND NO ARE PERFECTLY ACCEPTABLE ANSWERS TO ALMOST EVERY QUESTION.

1.. COME TO US WITH A PROBLEM ONLY IF YOU WANT HELP SOLVING IT. THAT'S WHAT WE DO. SYMPATHY IS WHAT YOUR GIRLFRIENDS ARE FOR.

1. ANYTHING WE SAID 6 MONTHS AGO IS INADMISSIBLE IN AN ARGUMENT. IN FACT, ALL COMMENTS BECOME NULL AND VOID AFTER 7 DAYS.

1. IF YOU THINK YOU'RE FAT, YOU PROBABLY ARE. DON'T ASK US.

1. IF SOMETHING WE SAID CAN BE INTERPRETED TWO WAYS AND ONE OF THE WAYS MAKES YOU SAD OR ANGRY, WE MEANT THE OTHER ONE.

1. YOU CAN EITHER ASK US TO DO SOMETHING OR TELL US HOW YOU WANT IT DONE. NOT BOTH.
IF YOU ALREADY KNOW BEST HOW TO DO IT, JUST DO IT YOURSELF.

1. WHENEVER POSSIBLE, PLEASE SAY WHATEVER YOU HAVE TO SAY DURING COMMERCIALS.

1. CHRISTOPHER COLUMBUS DID NOT NEED DIRECTIONS AND NEITHER DO WE...

1. ALL MEN SEE IN ONLY 16 COLORS, LIKE WINDOWS DEFAULT SETTINGS..
PEACH, FOR EXAMPLE, IS A FRUIT, NOT A COLOR. PUMPKIN IS ALSO A FRUIT. WE HAVE NO IDEA WHAT MAUVE IS.

1. IF WE ASK WHAT IS WRONG AND YOU SAY 'NOTHING,' WE WILL ACT LIKE NOTHING'S WRONG. WE KNOW YOU ARE LYING, BUT IT IS JUST NOT WORTH THE HASSLE.

1. IF YOU ASK A QUESTION YOU DON'T WANT AN ANSWER TO, EXPECT AN ANSWER YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR..

1. WHEN WE HAVE TO GO SOMEWHERE, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING YOU WEAR IS FINE...REALLY.

1.. DON'T ASK US WHAT WE'RE THINKING ABOUT UNLESS YOU ARE PREPARED TO DISCUSS SUCH TOPICS AS FOOTBALL OR MOTOR SPORTS.

1. YOU HAVE ENOUGH CLOTHES.

1 .. YOU HAVE TOO MANY SHOES.

1. I AM IN SHAPE. ROUND IS A SHAPE!

1.. THANK YOU FOR READING THIS. YES, I KNOW, I HAVE TO SLEEP ON THE COUCH TONIGHT.. BUT DID YOU KNOW MEN REALLY DON'T MIND THAT? IT'S LIKE CAMPING...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY MEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A LAUGH...

PASS THIS TO AS MANY WOMEN AS YOU CAN - TO GIVE THEM A BIGGER LAUGH, BECAUSE ITS TRUE! LMAO

Reyginus: Lolol. Isn't this Chelsea's Ramires?

Yes na... He's from Njikoka in Anambra state.

donigspain: Gbagaun!

Clap for yourself.

musKeeto: Goshen is being sarcastic...

And I'm quite disappointed by majority of the responses. What do you mean weaker sex?

It's more difficult to live as a woman in Nigeria than a man. And yet so much is expected of them. It's my view that in this desire to meet up with what society expects of them, these women have pushed further 'to God' in desperation, making them more susceptible to these kinds of experiences.

You're expected to take care of a family with money that buys even little with each passing day? Please...

You know, after 5 sentences, you still said pretty much the same thing other folks were saying- gullible .

I can't really add much because I haven't observed the trend. I have barely gone for prayer sessions not to talk of...

Perhaps, women move faster under the anointing because they have sharper spiritual and emotional receptors.

But they are not weak. far from it, the women I know are definitely not weak. I think God saved the best for the last.

I guess it's a question of aiming for the stars and hoping to reach the moon (abi how them dey talk am). Some people don't even understand what $200 billion means. I bet they do not even understand the extent of infrastructure needed to generate $200 billion annually.

adconline: Thank you! Dumbasses are falsifying figures. Naija GDP is less $400bn. Annual budget is less than $40bn. I wonder what they will be doing at the port? Unloading diamond and heroine?

And to think that it will be a free trade zone i.e. less duties than conventional ports as well as lower taxes for businesses established within the zone.

Some people can lie sha.

If the port is making $200 billion, it simply means that Nigeria's economy has degenerated so horribly that we import everything, from water to children. As much as I laud the effort of LASG, I will have you know that without a viable manufacturing sector, a port is simply a gateway to hell.

bbpreye.:
1st!

Choi! I vowed never to post any comment on Nairaland after Seun refused to grant me and ebamma amnesty during the garri wars! But today I turn a new leaf cos what I just achieved now is what over one million members on this forum are wasting bandwidths night and day to achieve.

Today I made it! If BBpreye can make it, you too can make it here one day.

@topic... Good inovation from such a young chap. I pray he succeds on his venture!

Comrade no vex o... But don't you find it a "tiny little bit" awkward that you are here doing first to comment while some fourteen year old in "Nigeria's strife ravaged city of Jos" is creating his own social network and is being featured on a national daily (oops that's the topic of the thread).

No pun intended. Just asking.

Seven members of a French family abducted in Cameroon have been freed, officials in both countries have said.

Cameroon's Communications Minister Issa Tchiroma Bakary told the BBC said they were in good condition and unharmed.

The family, including four children, were abducted in February by gunmen on motorbikes after a visit to Waza National Park in northern Cameroon.

In a video published on YouTube, militants from the Nigerian group Boko Haram claimed to be holding them.

President Francois Hollande said no ransom had been paid by France to secure the family's freedom.

Though he said secret talks had been taking place for the past few weeks to help secure their release, Reuters news agency reports.

"France has not changed its position, which is not to pay ransoms," the agency quotes him as saying at a news conference in Paris.

"I spoke to the father this morning... He told me how happy and relieved he was."

The release of the hostages was announced on national radio in Cameroon on Friday morning.

The statement from the presidency said they had been handed over to Cameroon authorities late on Thursday.


According to the Associated Press news agency, both the Nigerian and French governments were thanked in the statement.

The family has now arrived at the French embassy in the capital, Yaounde, with a heavy security escort, AFP news agency reports.

The French president's office said that Foreign Minister Laurent Fabius had immediately left for Cameroon to greet the family, the agency said.

Mr Fabius told AFP the French hostage were freed overnight "in an area between Nigeria and Cameroon".

Prisoner demand
The family, who live in the Cameroonian capital, Yaounde, where the father worked for the French gas group Suez, had been returning from a holiday when they were kidnapped on 19 February.


The family, kidnapped on 19 February, is thought to have been held in Nigeria
In the YouTube video released about a week after their capture, the militants demanded the release of prisoners in Cameroon and Nigeria.

One of them also criticised President Hollande for sending troops to fight Islamist militants in northern Mali in January.

"Let the French president know that he has launched war against Islam," he said.

The French-led operation in Mali has ousted the Islamist groups, including al-Qaeda's North African branch, from cities and town in the vast desert region they had captured a year ago in the wake of a coup.

Nigeria has contributed troops to a regional African force which has begun deploying to Mali to take over from French troops.

One of the hostages in the video said his captors were "Jama'atu Ahlis Sunna Lidda'awati wal-Jihad" - the official name for Boko Haram, as the Islamist group is popularly known in Nigeria.

Boko Haram, which began its insurgency following a deadly crackdown on its members in 2009, had previously said it was not involved in hostage taking.

It has usually followed a Nigerian agenda, and says it wants to establish an Islamic state.

During its insurgency at least 2,000 people have been kill in northern and parts of central Nigeria.

Another Islamist group, Ansaru - which was formed in 2012 and is believed to have links to al-Qaeda - is also active in northern Nigeria and has been involved in abducting foreigners.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-22213125

All this Seun talk... I believe the guy sha.

But guys, there's a difference between 1 billion and 1 million. It's called 999 million.

Perhaps Seun can impart more at the local level because we can relate with him and all that.

But at the global level, mehnnn MZ is an icon, a legend, he redefined a generation and others to come.

There is simply no comparison.

"Let me tell you something my friend- Hope is a dangerous thing. Hope can drive a man insane..." Shawshank Redemption

"Andy Dufrain! who crawled through a river of shit and came out clean on the other side".... Shawshank Redemption.



It's two sides of the same coin. Similar thing happened to me late last year. I met my dream girl (and she liked me too) but she was still entangled with her ex. I let her go. Don't see myself pausing my life for anyone. The risk outweighs the benefit.

Scenerios differ though. Wish you the best.

My interpretation- "they were not his girl friends, simply whores fighting for market share".

Emancipate yourselves from mental slavery, none but ourselves can free our minds...

**SMH** walks out of thread. This is really pathetic.

Cusubaba: Black is beautiful but Ghanaians made it ugly. Ghanaians are not black but charcoal. John Mickel Obi, Yaya Toure, and Didier Drogba are black in nature but handsome. While Micheal Essien, Agyma Bedu, Fatau Dauda, Sule Muntale, and Ghana former president John Kuffor are Charcoal Apes.

Haba Baba!!! One African man calling his African brother an ape; how lame is that?! Black is beautiful. Free the Ghanaians abeg. When are we going to change sef? If it is not igbo vs yoruba, it is Naija vs Ghana. Kai!!!

Channel your energy to positive things.

Rap maestro: U be Old man o.. See ur grey 'irugbon', abeg carry ur walking stick waka frm here jawe

And this is how you were trained to talk to old men abi?

And we never disappoint.

Everybody says let's dance curse.
Who am I to tell them otherwise,
it's a job for Reverends.

Relocate! Leave them behind. Start a new life. If your hands are clean, one day they will look for you.

smile4kenn: I feel so honored to be the first comment. All of my hard work and dedication has paid off. Getting the top comment has been a dream of mine for many years, and I would like to thank those who have helped me along the way. First and foremost I would like to thank God for giving me this opportunity. Next, I would like to thank my girlfriend. She had been patience with me while I attempt to make the top comment. I would also like to thank my pet tadpole for surviving against all odds for over a week. Next I would like to thank the squirrel that lives in my backyard for climbing trees because that gives me inspiration that I need to get through the day to make the top comment. This is a special moment in my life and I would like to thank any of my unmentioned friends and family that have helped me along the way. This moment will be a moment that I will never forget. I just remembered a few other people I will like to thank; Facebook, my light in my room bc i wouldn’t be able to see the keyboard without it, the internet for letting me go on nairaland, my house because without it I would be homeless, and last but not least I would like to thank all the people out there that actually took time out of their day to read this. I cannot stress how much of a big deal to me this is. I have been trying to be the first comment on a post for years, but that has not been possible until this amazing day. Hopefully my good luck will continue, but this is undoubtedly a rare occasion. If you asked me how I did this, I would say, you can achieve anything u set your mind on. To all the nairalanders out there reading this, I would like to tell them to follow their dreams. Being the first comment is amazing, thank you everyone.

Imagine with all the resources AY, a professional comic, put into his video,people are hardly talking about it. This is the difference between "learning work" and pure magic. Now I understand how David killed Goliath. Just can't stop laughing.

jackbauerspower: Nigerians must Flex.....Anyplace, Anywhere, Anytime...

Badboy tings...We no dey ever carry Last

Except in infant mortality, polio meningitis, martenal mortality, corruption, power generation etc...

We no dey carry last! I'm tired of hearing that crap.

Learner

And how did you all conclude this was in Nigeria or that the man is hausa?