₦airaland Forum

Children of these day don't seem to understand the meaning of privacy.

If you know what's good for you take down that picture before you create unnecessary issues for yourself

BrighterThanDay:
As a child from a broken home, I saw marriage as my happy ending of finally having a home filled with love and mutual understanding. After the death of my mom, growing up with my dad and stepmom was hell. I was treated as a stranger in my own home, so I thought starting my own family will be a lot better.

After I completed my education and got a good job. I had a lot of suitors willing to settle down with me. Most of them were rich and accomplished men, but there was no spark, I felt they weren't genuinely in love with me, and since I was never a materialistic person, I turned them down. I get easily content with what I have and I spend prudently. Then I met my husband. It happened that I was his crush back then in school, in fact, he even approached me as a student then, but I turned him down because I knew where I was coming from and I never wanted to gamble with my studies, it was my only hope to leave my father's house and fend for myself.

Fast forward to when I met my husband after school. He didn't even have a good job. But I could tell I meant a great deal to him, we'll speak for hours on the phone. I fell hopelessly in love with him, I could already picture a happy home with him and our kids. Then he proposed, and I accepted. I met his family, they were nice on the first visit.

After the introduction ceremony with my family, I started noticing certain things. I was taking pictures with his phone when I saw a message from his mom telling him I'm a stranger and he shouldn't allow me to come between them. I was surprised and wondered where all this was coming from, I asked him and he reassured me that it was nothing.

Then his father told me that hope I know that a son should love and care for his parents more than his kids. I kept pondering this statement. Then the worse of it all was his married sister, she hasn't even met me, but she rained insults and abuses on me on his phone and why he needs to make money first and allow his family to enjoy his money, before getting married. She said I was old, and just forcing him to marry me. I was just 26 then, but my education was very fast.

I had to speak to her dad about this and he cautioned her. I tried speaking to her myself but she rained insults again on me. I called off the wedding at a point but my then-fiance begged and involved my brother and so we went on with the wedding preparations. The wedding went well and his entire family stayed with us for a week before leaving.

My husband got a good job, I was working, we were fine and money wasn't our problem. A few months later, my father-in-law died. I sent messages and called hubby's siblings to comfort them. I couldn't travel with him immediately due to the nature of my job. I kept calling to check on him and inquire about the traditional rites I might need to be a part of. Hubby said his father was a pastor so he won't need to do anything, while we were yet speaking, his sister who hates me snatched the phone from him and said I have to do this and that or I should pack my things and leave the house and then she shouted at me.

I was so pissed and acted in a way that wasn't right considering that we were all mourning. I sent a message to her, telling her to be nice considering that we are all mourning but if she chooses to continue insulting and humiliating me for no reason, I won't take it. She forwarded the message to the entire family, including uncles, aunts, and grandchildren. On the day of the burial, I was treated as an outcast by the entire family, she told them not to give my birth family food, even though they came bearing gifts and comforting everyone. Hubby had to step in and ask the caterers to serve them.

She kept fighting and shouting at my hubby throughout the burial and tried denying him of things he was supposed to do as the first son and child. I was humiliated and she kept castigating my name and insulting me to hearings of everyone. I wasn't even allowed to eat. I was quiet all through, when family members were asked to sit behind the corpse, she asked me to excuse them.

For fear of my life after the burial, I had to go lodge in a hotel outside. The next morning she and her brother kept shouting and complaining that why did hubby allow me to lodge and that I should have been with their mom. They continued the humiliation, I couldn't take it anymore or hold back my tears so I left.

Hubby later told me that she held a meeting in my absence with the entire family and told them I'm a bad wife and needs to leave her brother. This was when hubby stood up for me and said I wasn't going anywhere.

Our marriage was never the same. Even when we had our daughter, no one called, hubby was ostracized from his own family and he blamed me sometimes. I couldn't concentrate at work, and my job is performance-based. I was scared that I'll be fired, so I resigned.

Hubby's income wasn't enough to sustain us, so we started facing financial difficulties. He had to even go meet the same sister to borrow money, even though I discouraged it. She always mocked him for it and I had to pay off the loan at a point.


When she saw that we are now broke, she stopped fighting with him and they are on talking terms now, of course, she still wants nothing to do with me. I know that they are family by blood and nothing is too hard to forgive, but each time she calls and they are happily discussing, Ican't help but feel angry for all she has caused us. I'm sometimes tempted to leave this marriage because this is not what I envisaged at all.

My brother is also married and I have never felt the need to interfere in his marriage or fight his wife.

I don't know how long I can continue in this union, even my innocent beautiful daughter is hated by them.

Still looking for where marriage failed you.

Just imagine the disgrace to the family of the victim. So everyone don know say their daughter na olosho.

When you tell dem do proper traditional marriage rites, dem go say no "we are Christians" na the result be this.

The people of old did not come up with traditional rites from the blue. They were created as safeguards to arrest events that were probably prevalent in their day.
Now we abandon those rites and expect the issues they were curbing not to resurface.

The man should move on. Next time do the rite thing

Danisaint112:
After Catholic church, Jehovah witnesses. forget condemnation you will find good women there.

Infact Jehovah witness is suppose to come first but I'm picking Catholic church because of population.

Good girls dey everywhere.

To the young guys out there reading this abeg, plan for your retirement wella because somethings wen I dey read here still dey fear me

OP, you're a weakling. you need to toughen up and put you wife in check.

That said, don't condescend to the level of your wife. Let your mother in-law stay. She is family.

If the baby's mother feels deceived, that is an issue between the both parents. She shouldn't mess up a child's life for that.

Bro, if it takes going to the court/police/military to get access to your child, please proceed. What ever you can do to make sure that you and your family are in the child's life, go ahead.

Also, continue to develop yourself to become the man your child would be proud to call father.

all4zionlover:
What would you advice in a situation where a husband loses his job due to gambling and decided not to make any effort in search of another job or business or any legal means of making even little money.

He just wakes up in the morning, have his bath, put on the AC and go back to sleep. Only expecting any little thing the wife can cook to eat? He wouldn't pay any bills, provide anything but very humble helping out with house cleaning and washing.

Knowing that the situation is not funny on the wife and two children.

The wife must struggle to make food available no matter how little for the children, because she can't watch the children go hungry.
In a situation like this, when men goes out looking for means of making food available for their children and family, he is comfortable not having anything to offer all the time.
Is this the character of a father and husband that loves?

Is this not enough reason to divorce him?

The bolded cracked me up.

Your husband has been providing without complaining. Now that he has a little setback, you are already talking of divorce. Embrace Equality my foot.

siofra:



Lord! I'm weak in the knees. My insides are like jelly. He's so hawt😩😩😩

I just saw him on Facebook, I hope he isn't married 😏

Please vote Mr. Gbadebo Rhodes-Vivour. Lagos needs a hot young and innovative governor. Thank you.

He's even an architect, like my mom🤩🤩🤩 please vote him abeg. I see potential in him.

Nigerian are still in shock with the level of rigging being carried out by INEC, Security personnel, and some state Governors, you are here talking about "Jelly Inside". Abeg enta house make thunder no fall for your head...

Alanama06:
My vote is for Tinubu tomorrow by God's grace. Now I need to find a good hotel in Lagos and rest after this long journey before I proceed home tomorrow

Who can recommend a good hotel in the mainland

Go to Oriental.

kingreign:
Why?

Because it's buywahala

Chi133:
Lagos Tinubu?? Dey play. Thanks to God for electronic voting

APC's plan to win Lagos by vote buying and intimidation have been thwarted. I see them loosing Lagos state.

PDPdestroyer:
I don't have sense, I'm voting Tinubu. Obi's records in governance doesn't convince anyone but his kinsmen and a few brainwashed youths who don't know their left from their right. Listen to both of them here, make your voice without bias


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rlnv_hqafZU


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cbSZyz2EPmc

Town hall, different from bala-blu

No level. Abi no be the lions and tigers wen no for deliver Pst. Iyamu even after dem collect Capt. Osa money?

Just sad to watch.

I beta pass You syndrome. Not in all cases though

Okowa wan use Delta people future take do kalokalo. So Atiku don broke like this

Greatlee54:
Obi is a boy

You're a MAID

elasticlala:
U haven’t even started. When u drive manual car on a hill with much traffic…. U go know how fa

.... You are wicked

AutoManual:
I went to driving school today and meant with the guys there. I told them I want to learn manual. Even when some of them was telling me manual is fading out that majority of people are preferring to learn auto and they said some people who learn manual also came back to learn auto.

My reason was that if I can learn manual I can learn automatic, because I have heard that from people, I choose 5 days learning and they said 30minus & 1 hour has different prices, but I choose the 5 days 30 minutes, although I bargain the price. I filled the form and the driving session started.

Few minutes that we started I already giving up, I feel like not learning again. My concentration was not even there it was tidius to remember all this I need to do. Because I was forgetting all the things the guy told me before we started.

Here are my problem.
1. Understanding the pendel. Little press the car if jecking. When I applied brake it stop sudden and the vehicle will off abruptly.
2. Losing focus and what to do when I'm tens specially when I am approaching junction or a big car.
3. I am more concerned with the cars at my back or around me because I was moving slowly. The guy keep telling me to forget about them and focus on my side. Is document I filled said I will be the one to pay for damages incurred during the session.
3, knowing how and when to change the gear. I haven't mastered it and I feel it's too hard with the calculations. When I was filling the form there was some disclaimer on the document that I will be held responsible for any damages. I also learnt that the break is sometimes press. It was then I understand that the guy can press the brake from his own side of the car. Although I didn't tell him but I know.

Handling the wheel. To make a turn accurately on the road or control the wheel is really off.

Look like driving is really hard with manual


I was saving and planing to buy a Nigeria use car and I was focusing on manual because I heard people saying it easy to maintain but right now with the look of things I don't think I can buy manual again oh.

The two things I thought today while on the wheel is to buy auto and a small car.

Tomorrow I will go there again to learn and keep this thread updated.

You made a great choice of learning with a manual. Hang in there. It will only get better

Geesanni:
Just dey play ,dey play.u neva ready to settle down.....once upon a time if a lady wear trouser,she is a core girl but later it is now accepted. The guy mom has refused to move with modernisation. She is still left in 60's

Why do you advise settling down when having a baby mama is now acceptable? Also, would you accept gay marriage because it suddenly becomes acceptable?
Africans, always quick to discredit their ways for some BS they see on TV

Your mum that carried you from -9 months till you were able to fend for yourself. The person who could not sleep on those cold nights you were down. What has she done to deserve this distrust?

Personally, once my parents rejects my relationship with any lady, c'est fini. Whether she be Agbani Darego or Bill gates daughter, she dey waka.

If it's your daughter that behaves like your daughter in-law, will you treat her the same way? You heard from outside what she tells people. Did you confront her and try to correct her?

Madam, you made you choice. Don't put the blame on your Pastor.

I am not surprised. If you go dive back into his precedence, you will discover that Tinubu and Remi are very vindictive

I am not surprised. If you go dive back into his precedence, you will discover that Tinubu and Remi are very vindictive

Brandiebird:
About 2 years ago, I warned my boyfriend about a girl; his childhood friend, that regularly calls him. I asked him to stop the regular conversation with her which he said he would do then. After some time I noticed he stylishly brings up unconnected and irrelevant issues about the girl regularly when we talk. Issues like how he is counselling the girl on relationship matter. My boyfriend asked this girl out way back in university days which is the more reason I got angry about everything.

For some time, I just pretend every time he raises those topics about the girl but to my greatest surprise, my boyfriend used this girl’s picture as status update on her birthday. I can't believe that after I almost broke up with him over this topic two years ago, he was still bold to display her on his status for me to see.

Though I am not sure anything is going on between them but I am thinking of ending the whole relationship because I am now convinced my boyfriend is in love with this girl since he was willing to take that risk of uploading her picture on his status when he knew I would see it or was he thinking I have forgotten about the girl?

Logically, I think the disrespect he gave me on this matter is just too much for me to let slide, I want to end the whole relationship but I need the thoughts and suggestions of men and women inhere to conclude if my action is too drastic, I have stopped picking his calls for 1 week now. 💔❤️‍🩹💔

Were they besties before he decided to ask her out? Cos I nor understand how guy man go ask babe out, she no gree, he go come turn am to bestie

Cuterboy:
https://www.lindaikejisblog.com/2023/1/delta-court-remands-man-for-allegedly-raping-his-girlfriends17-year-old-daughter-and-infecting-her-with-hiv-2.html

Men never leave your kids with their mother if you know there is a possibility that she remarries. Else your kids might just become slaves

Dailyparrot:
I have to create this thread after reading through the topic on front page asking for jobs/professions that will make you not to marry someone.

So, I'm talking to this Unizik student that's studying medical radiography. Everything was going well. She even told me that she has told her mother about me and all. We met on Facebook and she's already asking to see me in person.

Until the day she found out that I use my car for Uber/Bolt business, everything changed. This girl stopped talking to me.

She has never been to Lagos and does not know how Uber works. She was asking how much I earn in a day, and that hope the Uber is not like their normal school cab that charge 100 naira per person, bla bla bla.

Well, I just don't want to let her know my net worth. I don't do Uber full time. I work on Fiverr and because sales dropped there, I decided to use Uber to make up for the income. I also do academic research for foreign students. Etc. I am into a lot of stuffs that fetch me nothing less than 400k a month so I don't think I should be regarded poor.

My house in the East is at roofing level. I am almost completing the payment of 4.5 million for a land I'm purchasing at Mowe, I own my car plus another Sienna I bought when Fiverr was booming.

I have a masters degree. So, should a girl reject me because I use my car to drive on Uber?

I am just laughing at her ignorance. The other time, we were talking and I jokingly asked her why she's putting on make up, and she was like, so she can find better suitors.

I thence assume I am not a better suitor because to her, I'm poor. This is someone earning 8k per month in the school that she was teaching during ASUU strike.

I wonder why women are impatient when it comes to taking decisions and that's why most of them regret later.

I am supposing being a medical student makes this girl think she deserves someone better than just a cab driver.

LOL.

You just dodged a bullet. Japa Japa onto the next

GentlePEACE:
You are right, what about his feelings of deceit. How can she hide such from him

I remember my wife telling me a top secret even before she visited me for the first time, so there was no ish when i discovered myself. Trust is very key in a marriage

Sure, she should have informed him.

Deeprooted:
My brother is AS

This is a sad one. I pray the Child is AS.