₦airaland Forum

I've seen brothers marry sisters. Just like twins marrying twins. Nobody raised eyebrows. However, those marriages require extra maturity. They are peculiar marriages. As brothers and sisters, they had to decide whether they wanted to be sisters or brothers first and in- laws secondarily or in laws first and siblings secondarily. There were conflicts over what was shared between sisters as sisters or as wives to brothers. Same happened the other way round. Apart from this , there wasn't any taboo and they got along fine.

I voted for Tinubu as President. I would have voted Obi but I failed to see what he did in his State as governor apart from leaving money in the Treasury. There was no achievement in Anambra State. He won't do any better as President. He will keep money, he wont not spend it, he won't steal it, but the country will not develop. So I chose Tinubu.

There was a woman who worked under me whose husband did exactly the same thing. His wife had come to work and didn't get home on time on that day. I am not sure how he got my number but he called me to find out where his wife was and I told him she had left work about an hour before then. He thanked me and hung up. I probably wouldn't have minded that only one call,but the silly guy called again 20 minutes later and then called again and again. I blocked his number. In all, he called more than 20 times that night.

Needless to say, much later, I discussed with his wife and told her I couldn't understand that kind of stalking and disturbance.
I didn't immediately lay her off, but immediately an opportunity came to let her go, I did. I couldn't deal with what the husband did that night and couldn't imagine keeping his wife working with me. That was a red flag showing trouble brewing. Best to let such a staff go.

So you just might have set the poor girl up for such a mark down where she works.

Hospitals swapping babies without the new mothers knowledge has been for a long time. It happened to a woman I know very well about 52 years ago. She delivered in a very well known popular hospital in Lagos. She had 4 girls before this baby and was earnestly expecting a male child. After delivering, the nurse was hesitant about telling her the gender she delivered. She insisted on being told and the nurse told her it was female.The baby was taken away for cleaning. When the baby was brought back, it had been swapped with a male child. The nurse came to her quietly and discussed that she swapped the child for her because she knew how desperate she was to have a male child because of keeping her marriage. The nurse said the woman who delivered the male child wanted a female child. So she did the swapping for both of them so that they could go home happy. This woman however declined and requested that her own baby should be brought back. The other woman however didn't mind keeping the female baby.
This is a true life event. Swapping does happen. Some devilish nurses play God in the delivery room. It is always advisable that men stay with their wives all through delivery and follow their baby immediately it is born through all stages of clean up until returned to mother.

Generated revenue? Taxing the people heavily? Lagos State Government is a very oppresive government.
I pay almost 60k tax every month to Lagos State even though I am a Federal Government worker. Cut the branches of a tree even if it is within your own compound and you are made to pay 300k as punishment. Never mind that snakes are breeding on the tree. Lagos State Government must generate revenue. But your refuse within your own compound and Lagos State will fine you 500k. No mercy. Your fence is falling down and you decide to rebuild, you must pay Lagos State to obtain a fence permit. Decide to change one or two doors inside your building, if you are spotted carrying cement and sand into your compound, Lagos State officials will pounce on you like a hawk. A fine follows. For changing your doors within your building, you must obtain a renovation permit. All those permits come with high figures which corrupt officials have padded and padded. The list goes on and on. Those are the IGRs of Lagos State. Oppression. It's the worst State to live in! Thanks to Tinubu.!!!

Alcohol only helps you to do what you have always been capable of doing but was never bold enough to do. So stop blaming the alcohol. It's in you.

I actually love DJ cuppy. She's a beautiful girl with jewel hidden inside her. I wish I could get to know her more.

WibusJaga:
Thank God for IVF.

Not actually so, IVF does not happen so easy with women that are under 40. The chances are always slim. For a woman at 60 to be successful, it is a medical miracle. 95% of people going for IVF may not be successful and success rate dwindles as the age increases. This is a medical miracle for the 60 yrs old

Time there was when it was unheard of that Nigerians will be committing suicide. We were called the happiest people on earth in spite of all the economic problems our country had. But it all started during Buharis regime and especially the youths started committing suicide. One by one it became the order of the day. The hopelessness, the fears, the lack of a hope for a better tomorrow. Youths started killing themselves, jumping into the Lagoon, drinking sniper etc. Buhari is the worst leader in the history of this country. His regime has been a journey through HELL. Now the person who foisted him on Nigeria is the one who now wants to rule? May God deliver Nigeria from those holding it hostage.

I actually think his choice of a VP is following the Yoruba adage" Olè lo mo esè olè tò.( Only a thief will know how to track the steps of another thief). By picking Shettima, whose sponsorship of Boko Haram is an open secret, Tinubu hopes to be able to solve the problem of terrorism facing the country. But he is wrong. He has always been wrong. You do not negotiate with terrorists. If you do, you empower them the more. But putting Shettima on the VP saddle, Nigerians might as well forget the Nigeria they ever knew. Should Tinubu be voted in as President, his hands will be tied and he will sell the soul of the country over to terrorists.

How can a woman sleep with her husband's brother? What kind of hunger would make you commit such an abomination?That kind of woman is a wife from hell who can sleep with her own daughters husband also. If we investigate well, she probably was the one who started seducing her husband's brother.

I see so many insults. But how have you been dating someone for 2 years who stays in the US? Are you sure you have a relationship at all? When the relationship was 3 months, you didn't know him well enough. How did you now know him well enough without him staying in the country? You've been dating yourself. The guy has nothing serious for you. You really come across as someone who just wants to use "marriage" to travel. Sorry.

Out of the 3 candidates, I honestly prefer Peter Obi. I can't see myself voting for old grandpa's who should be playing advisory roles by now. However, the igbos are a tribe full of tribalism, hatred, backstabbing and division. That is why I am so afraid of them. Everywhere I have worked, make the mistake of giving the power and authority to an igbo man, and tribalism, divide and rule becomes the order of the day.

The only question in my mind is, if their daughter needed a kidney, could the parents themselves not donate one of theirs? Could any of their other children not donate one of theirs?
It would be interesting to know why there was no family member to donate. I know of 2 people who suffered kidney ailments and it's a family member who donated one of their kidneys to help them.

You can't stop beating her. You are the one with a problem. I wonder what she is still doing in your house? She needs to go far away from you. You are going to kill her one day and then your eyes will clear. O Lord, may none of my children ever end up with this kind of monster husband. Please let her go. Then go and see a psychiatrist. You need help because you are a murderer waiting to strike his last and deathly blow.

I think the problem remains the same both ways. Marrying a woman who already has a child or marrying a man who already has a child. From my experience, it's the same. The biological father or the biological mother of the child will always be in your life. Ask Funke Akindele.

Have watched it. Acting good. But some scenes didn't add up. Like, they didn't have any phone on them before. Suddenly Sarah gets an android phone to call her ex who uses the location app to trace her to the beach house. It didn't make sense. Then why would the woman who kept them overnight in the village whilst the festival was going on push them out the following morning? She saw the young girl was severely wounded. Yet she cared for her over the night and sent them away in the morning. There was no reason to do that and it was not characteristic village hospitality.

I don't like displaying my husband or children's pictures up on social media. I'm a private person. I don't want random people into my private life, to know whether my husband is handsome or not, tall or short, rich or poor or if my children are good looking or not, male or female, graduated or undergraduate. I love my own privacy knowing that you can't come at me or my family when you dont know much about me. Never ever will I put my husband's picture up on my dp. Never. And I won't discuss him with friends either. My husband and my children are my life. I'm freer discussing my siblings, my parents etc.
and putting their pictures up freely. The world will hardly come at you through your extended family.
So, I don't see what the problem is with you, guy. Trouble dey siddon jeje, you wan go wake am?

From your responses, I get the impression you are not very ready to take objective advice contrary to what you have in your own head. Regardless, I will still try to help you the best way I can.

Your son is exhibiting symptoms of ADHD and some signs of being autistic. He needs early diagnosis to help him. Your wife is in denial and that's why she's refusing the test. Bringing him back to Nigeria will never help, instead it will worsen him.

The Nigeria of today is not the Nigeria you were brought up in. Mental disorders are on the increase with international research showing that mental disorder is more prevalent in male black children linked to taking the measles vaccination before the age of 2 years. Symptoms start showing from the age of 6 in the young black male child with irregular behaviors and autistic symptoms. For some strange reasons, it has not shown up in the female black children nor has it been detected in white children whether male or female.
So you might be dealing with something that is beyond good or bad parenting but needing more professional help.

Getting professional help is easier in the country where you live than in Nigeria. Here in Nigeria, such youths become discouraged and eventually turn to drugs, become suicidal, going down the wrong pathway entirely. The teachers you are relying upon to do the job for you are themselves frustrated. This is the Nigeria of today. It's different from your own Nigeria when you were growing up. Don't be deceived.

Please stay in the US. Seek professional help for your son. I hope you will be able to rule your own jungle and get your wife to trust you and your decisions. Being diagnosed with ADHD or autism doesn't mean the child cannot go on to be what he will be in life. In fact, most times, these kids with ADHD are very brilliant children and they are specially gifted. You probably would even have noticed it in your son already. Professor Imafidon is an example. Your son needs help so he can find that pathway for himself later on in life. But you need to intervene early.

Good luck and God's wisdom to you as you handle this special child.

May God keep all our Nigerian brothers and sisters, students and children in Ukraine and lead them to safety. This is a very worrisome situation.

Nothing wrong with that.
I taught at a higher institution in the United Kingdom many years ago and students would go buy themselves coffee with cake or biscuits to eat whilst the lecture was going on. It wasn't a big deal.

I read this and wondered what I would do if any man does this to my daughter? I went down on my knees and prayed that this kind of man will never cross my daughters pathway. So if your wife wants sex and you have been having a hard time in the office, she should climb on you one day, and just force her way through? Unfortunately, women cannot do that for 2 reasons. The organ of the man will not achieve anything for her if he doesn't want to have sex or is tired, so be it. And the strength of the man will overpower her. You have done wrong. And you have crossed the boundary line. It will certainly happen again since you have crossed the line.

If I were the poor girl, whatever love i had for you has gone out of the window. Sex can never be a loving act again. This marriage is definitely on its way out. It may take 3 years, it may take 10 years. But it will eventually break. Mark my words. And you have yourself to blame.

The boy most likely has mental health challenges. He may be ill and doesn't know it. He needs to be helped before he does something that will be a permanent damage like killing. He is not in his right senses but he needs to be helped. Especially if everyone is afraid of him, he is a candidate for mental health evaluation.

Have you tried to find out if your family is the reason for her behavior? It may not be her, it may be that your family also have an attitude that she can't accommodate.

It sounds like your home is always an open for all where all extended family are always welcome. Her mum, siblings etc are in your home? You need to set your boundaries. You are the architect of your own problem. You seem like the type who wants his woman to marry not only him, but also his family and you will marry not only your wife but her family also. It can't work. It can never work that way.
Both of you need to sit down together and rearrange your priorities for your marriage.
It is Mr and Mrs.
Not
Mr with his family and Mrs with her family.

I feel sad that women are not rising up together to lend a voice to this young woman who is being denied the rights to see her children.

In saner climes,human rights groups and organizations sympathetic to the female gender cause would have risen up as a united voice. This is not only for the mother but majorly also for the children.

No child deserves to be kept away from the biological parent. This is happening simply because those children do not have a voice and cannot speak for themselves. I don't see how if the children were older children, they would not be able to decide that they want to see their mother!.

He is able to do this nonsense and get away with it simply because those children are small and cannot speak for themselves. What FFK is doing is a horrible abuse not only to the mother but in every way to those little children who have every right to be with and seeing their biological mother.

Such a wicked, heartless, sadistic, narcissistic man. The worst father anyone can ever have or visit upon themselves. He's definitely thinking of himself alone, the revenge he wants to visit upon his ex- wife, and not the emotional needs of the children in the least. How can children not be allowed to see their mother? In what kingdom is that ever done? Even in the animal kingdom, children cannot be separated from the mother.

Those children are in the midst of all strangers whom he refers to as "his household" yet not a single one of them has any biological link to any of the children, including the FFK himself!.

Which one is excellence running in family, if you Sidon read book you go pass[/quote]Well, Akinwunmi Adesina graduated with a first class honors in Agric. Economics in his own time. The same OAU, then University of Ife. He also was the best graduating student of his class. So.. it seems it truly runs in the family. Take it or leave it.

Wicked tenant. He can never prosper on that land. The landlord had stroke and died? And he took over the land when he knew he wasn't paying well? Vengeance belongs to the Lord. He may think he has revenged the landlord, but real revenge is in the hands of God. We wait to see what his generations will become. Very wicked tenant. This is not blowing o. The tenant is guilty.
My advice is to go and meet your landlord with his rent money. Discuss with him to promise to return all your property if you pay his rent and move out.
That settles the matter. Pay what you owe and he will return what belongs to you. Everyone goes home happy.

Congratulations!!! Bros, You don blow ooo

Just find correct Lawyer

Something of such happened in Lagos here 9 years ago, the tenant rented an half plot, I don't really know how much he pays then for the rent, but he wasn't paying very well. He was owing the landlord a year rent.

He built a restaurant and bar on the land.

One day, Landlord got angry and arranged boys to destroy the man's shop. They destroy the walls without going inside not touching anything. The man told me this himself because I was going to rent part of the the land for my viewing center business that I wanted to open at the area then.

He reported the case to the police and got himself a lawyer because he was educated and an Ebo man. He took pictures for evidence and told the Judge that he left 5 million naira in his bar, his lawyer asked him to say that.

They charged the man to court and he explained what led to his actions but the Judge punished him by asking him to pay 8 million for damages or he can forget the land, and it belongs to the tenant until otherwise.

The man begged his tenant but he refused and got stroke. So, his children went to the man to beg and he asked them to go and bring 3 million and he will drop the case. Till today, the tenant has been using the land as he likes and renting it to other tenants like he owns it. The owner is late now so and the children never see 3m.

This happens at Aguda Ogba Lagos.

Congrats again [/quote]

I appreciate all the comments and advice given to this topic. I am very grateful to all who found the time to respond to my request. In the multitude of counsel, there is safety. I have learnt from every contribution ranging from the most ridiculous to the intelligent. I am already exploring some of the good advice. Thank you all.

I am bringing this topic here to see if I can get any good advise from youths of the same generation.

My son returned from schooling abroad two years ago and after completing his NYSC, has been trying to get a job. None has been forthcoming but he tries to keep occupied, trying his hands on different projects. He still lives at home but says that once he is financially stable, he will get his own apartment and move out.

He is generally a calm, law abiding , likeable gentleman until when he recently started bringing home this girl who dresses like a prostitute and who I discovered stays overnight in his room with him. His dad and I have fought him over this subject to no avail. I confronted the girl to tell her I do not feel comfortable with her sleeping overnight in my house especially since I do not know her family and will be held responsible if anything happens to her. She apologized to me and promised not to come to sleep over again. However, I noticed that after that, he started sneaking her in at late hours of the night when he thinks we have gone to bed, sometimes when it is past midnight. He hasn't introduced the girl to us as anything to him even though I have asked him several times what his intentions with this girl is but he will just say she is a friend that makes him happy- that's all.

He told his uncle that he likes the girl. I don't even know what else to do. I have tried talking to him, reasoning with him, but it all falls on his deaf ears. I do not like this girl at all. She comes across to me as a street girl- even though she is generally polite when she meets me at home anytime she comes during the day. I investigated and found out her work place is not far from our house. What I do not like about her is that she dresses, exposing delicate parts of her body and is a chain smoker.

Furthermore, to me, a girl who sleeps out in a mans' parent house, continually disregarding how his parents feel about it, cannot be good news. Once, I caught her almost naked in the night walking along the corridor leading to my sons room. She ran inside his room when she saw me. I was so embarrassed and wondered what if my husband had been the one who ran into her? What kind of thing is this? Only her pant on, breasts bare. It was the following day I traced her to her work place and gently but sharply and firmly told her I do not permit her to sleep over in my house again. His dad also spoke with him. I also spoke to him. Everything has been to no avail.

He still sneaks her in. Or did she jazz him?, Please advise me. Thanks.

Since you want to keep the baby and he has said he is fine with your decision, clear your eyes. Sit him down to let him know:-

1. You have decided to keep the baby.
2. Since he is fine with your decision, he is now going to be financially responsible for the baby both when unborn and after being born. 3. You are going to get a lawyer to draft an agreement between both of you which he will sign to these conditions.
4. You are also ready for the baby to undergo a DNA test after birth to clear all paternity doubts.
5. Forget about him. You are NOT going to keep him. He has shown you that much already. You were just a side chicken cooling his hot third leg and giving him variety. That's who you were to him. Kill all the love feelings. You have his baby to remind you always of your indiscretion.

You've made the mistake. Your eyes don clear. You have to be smarter going forward.
Good luck.

If your mum is a yearly tenant, she is entitled to a 6 month quit notice. Her landlady cannot tell her to go once the rent expires. She has to give her 6 months to look for another place. But It is NOT rent free. You can't live in someone else's house free of charge. Even the State government cannot allow you live rent free in government property. You must pay for the 6 months. This is what you should explore with the landlady. Ask for the 6 month quit notice and be ready to pay for the 6 months. Some tenants are trouble makers. If she has locked her well, then so be it. If the agreement doesn't say she provides water then you are holding the short end of the stick. Instead of creating trouble and bad blood, I advise you look for another apartment and simply move your mum there.

People do not understand. The move was against Nuru. Some people wanted to remove him from that seat at all costs, come hell or high wster. They succeeded. Nuru is gone. They have kept quiet. Thats all. It wasnt a battle for any moral bank ethics. It was a "Remove Nuru" move. Use anything against him. The death of Tunde was a very good tool. A man who was preparing for his traditional wedding and had a history of high bp. Noone imagined the stress of the preparations could lead to a heart attack. But his death gave Nurus enemies a good tool. Mastermind stroke! If you know, you know. And Some of us who know, are clapping, behind the scenes.