₦airaland Forum

What is wrong with waiting for life to hand you things? We can't all be goal getters. If she is supportive of you and not a leech then I see no problem.
People should realise that we are all very different. Is she a good person? Does she have strong values? If she isn't what you want then leave. Don't give her a bad name.

People should do what ever makes them happy. We never copy the positives of the West, only the negatives.

You just opened a new account to tell us you can't fall in love. Love is not meant for everyone.

Rape is rape. The issue is how do we prove rape beyond all reasonable doubt? Most rape happen with no witnesses. If you put life imprisonment or death sentence then many people will use it to frame people up.

I once left a girlfriend who said she was raped but didn't want to prosecute. She kept making excuses why she didn't want to take it up and even started giving excuse for the guy. I left her because I felt it was actually consensual and after realizing what she did she now wanted to term it rape.

The rape issue is dicey. Except you have a camera showing the action and recording their voices, you can't really tell what happened.

Does it ever end? I can understand the request from people who are sick and can't afford medical bills. What irks me the most is those who after enjoying the pleasures of ejaculation start nagging you for money because they just had a baby or need money for school fees.
I always say I wouldn't give again but I still end up giving. I have always made it a point not to stress myself. I give what wouldn't dent my own resources. If you need 50k, I can give 10k, go source for the rest yourself.

Google loan apps in Nigeria. That's your best bet.

A misogynist wouldn't even have a babe or wife. They hate women!!. You are probably talking about a controlling man, a narcissist or something but not a misogynist.

If you don't like him for relationship it's fine. Never date out of sentiments. Life is too short to be married and unhappy.

Sometimes, people love us but we don't love them back and it's ok. We can't love everyone.

Nice. Those who want marriage are marrying, those who want owambe are busy waiting for coronavirus to end.

DBestDoc:
I don't think it's peculiar to first sons. It just depends on the family and any of the kids can be picked out as the Donkey/victim. Especially, that one with a kind and selfless heart.

I dated a man with similar trait as the OP's husband and in his case, he was even the last son, hahaha. He sponsored both his older and younger siblings through school, was taking care of their families and at the time we were together, he had started sponsoring most of his Nephews and nieces through school.

At some point, i advised him to give his siblings some capital and encourage them to start some business so as to relieve the financial burden. He waved that off with the excuse that his people are not business inclined.

Oya, upgrade your educational qualifications na for better future opportunities now that you're single and have the wherewithal, Mr man said ok and after a few days he came back with the excuse of having too much family responsibilities to spare any cash for such. Apparently, one of his siblings he shared the idea with told him the program was expensive. I offered to 'loan' him the fees but he rejected the offer.

He easily ran out of cash for someone earning in 6 figures at that time. He wasn't married, no children he wasn't spending the money on me obviously but he was almost always broke. Most phone calls he received whenever we were together were money requests from family. Account will turn red immediately after pay day (i started thinking he'd been jazzed, i didn't know what else to think about. lol)

I got to understand that doing those things made him happy. That feeling of being the messiah of his family gave him some sort of satisfaction and fulfillment that nobody was allowed to deprive him of. He always confided in me that he's been there for his family since he was a boy.

The love i had for him turned to PITY and then to indifference. I saw a wonderful man with a very good heart but was non-progressive this, i couldn't deal with. His family didn't love him enough to advise him to help himself while helping them. He was a dead weight that i needed to offload. After analyzing the situation one day, i RAN without telling him why. No drama, no quarrel, i just ghosted him i didn't want another begging or convincing.

Red flags everywhere. It's important for young people to consider all these things before choosing a life partner. It never gets better and once you're in, you're in. Running was one of the best decisions i've made as a woman. Man is already 40 now unmarried, no kids. I just feel so sad for him because he's a nice person.

Some people are created differently, acquiring material wealth wouldn't make them happy. Some people were created to touch lives. Not everyone is self centred, however I also agree that people should only be with whom they can cope with.

Please don't pity him, helping people is what he finds fulfilment in. Marriage and kids don't bring many people fulfilment but they are forced into it by society. We should start learning to take people for whom they are.

As for the Op, let her save for her kids and herself but she should realise that her husband finds fulfilment in helping others. That's how he was created.

No need to get worked up if your partner leaves you or doesn't want you anymore. As we grow older, our tastes change and we meet people we feel we connect more with.
Dust yourself off and move on.
Relationships go and come but what is most important is to ensure you keep getting better as a person, keep growing and keep progressing, not for others but for yourself.

Avoid toxic people, they will only make you miserable.
That being said, you are in a relationship with an ingrate, an Ill mannered girl and a liability. It will end in nothing but tears.
Hope she wouldn't beat you and your family members one day.

Nigerians and breeding. We are overpopulated as if is. Too few resources for the people. It's not just about having the resources to raise your kids, we need to start thinking of the general population. No need having millions of people in a country when most are impoverished and cannot contribute anything meaningful.

Superted01:
can it fly with 1.4m cash

Even if it can fly for 800k you still can't afford it. Na people like una dey carry gun to take thief another person property. Foolish boy.

Lexus is a fantastic car, however, this model and other recent models suffer from over styling. Cars like this cannot become vintage. They'll fade out and look outdated too soon. Happy sales.

Buy a land and build a room and parlour with 1.5m? Lol, na crayfish OP wan buy. Funny people everywhere. Even those collapsed buildings cost far more.

Thank God for block features. I always try to reply to messages. However, if you are a nuisance and decide to spam me or disturb my peace, I block you immediately.

As for read receipt, I turn it off and on at will. If you keep ignoring my messages, then we have nothing in common so I delete you. In life it's not that hard to know who has your time. You don't need a read receipt for that.

People are sick. A young boy will lust after his mum because she dresses in front of him?

Nature always arranges things. A boy will get to a certain age and will excuse himself when he sees his mum naked. Stop thinking like a pervert.

Do you think men who rape their daughters get aroused because of her naked body? No sir, they are mentally ill.

Buy a land for 1.5m in which area exactly? Many glorified landlords in Lagos laying claim to run down houses in slums and ghetto.

My friend, get yourself a car, as long as you earn a monthly income. Ensure you don't buy a scrap for 300k. Get a tokunbor of like 1.2m. Maybe a 2003 civic or 2004 Camry. A car may not be termed an asset but it is a necessity.

When you grow small you go buy better land in a decent area, not one useless place.

As for business, people think you just invest 1.5m and triple the amount just because it's business. Any business you don't understand will not stand the test of time. Only dabble into business after proper feasibility study or apprenticeship.

This is what will happen to all those hôrny teens here always talking about women's private parts and sex. Una never jam, e go tire una.

This is what will happen to all those hôrny teens here always talking about women's private parts and sex. Una never jam, e go tire una.

Figment of your imagination.

ogawriter:
I find it hard to believe your story, here is my reason.


It is almost impossible for an international student to raise that huge sum of money in 2 years while working menial jobs in any EU country. (Note the almost impossible)

I have a relative in Germany who left for his masters about 5 years ago and has a residency permit. Dude has an Msc and works in construction. He nets roughly 100k euros from his job annually as at December. (The summary is that it took him 4 years to get a job that pays well in Germany.) Mind you, Dude is a Guru. Self sponsored himself @ age 25 *Bitcoin millionaire and networks very well.

So you see why I don't believe you came to the EU with a student visa, and started earning big bucks without starting from the bottom. Even if you were earning €5K monthly. Weren't you paying rent?

The cheapest you can get a bedroom apartment in Greece is about €500 with amenities. Feeding nko? How about transportation? Let's assume your scholarship caters for all that. Which job paid you so well that you were able to save and send all that money back home in that short time. Please tell me.

Never mind, it's for the gullible. Most times guys like that tell such tales so the gullible ones start sending him PM to show them the way. That's when he will strike and the fraud starts.

stanliwise:
If you know a slowpoke then you would have noticed you fit the the definition.

An idiòt doesn't talk when elders talk. They sit and learn.

stanliwise:
how comfortable are you people in dishing out straight down advice to adult??
I don’t understand this madness!
People are very quick to teach people how to make life decisions.
How on earth is it bad for a 21 years old guy to want a girlfriend?
How are we sure Op isn’t the problem here who has has worn the sheep clothing?
The guy in my opinion should live his life. If you want to help him, tell him the consequences(good and bad) of his decisions and leave alone to make them for himself.

You wey dey advice person, so far what have you achieved yourself?

You are a môron, even the OP is thankful for my advice.

At 21 some kids are doing great things, getting scholarship etc. I'm disappointed in your writing skills, you should do better for a 21 year old.
Anyway, please focus on building yourself, it's a competitive world out there. Cut off any childish distractions for now. That girl is a child and she has nothing positive to offer you. As you mature more physically, emotionally and intellectually, you'll find a woman who can make a positive impact in your life and you in hers.

I probably was 'entitled ' yet I turned out fine. I had my own room growing up, my education was sponsored to masters level, I was still being given an allowance during my masters program. I stayed home till I got a job which was in my late 20's.

My family gave me a decent life.That didn't stop me from being ambitious, driven and disciplined. I have my own family and material success to go with it. Life has no rules my friend.

This is your burden, you either manage it or abandon it. There is nothing anyone will say here that will help you, we don't live with you at home.
If you feel you will get a better woman out there that will improve your quality of life, then go for it. The grass is not always greener on the other side.
To be honest, in my own opinion, your wife's issues are manageable. I feel it's something one can learn to live with. After all you saw it coming and you felt you could cope.

Dupalmer:
[s]The truth is that rape is barbaric. Gagging you is another thing altogether.
So sorry for the sad encounter. But waito:
1. I really don't understand how a nun should be living with a Hot oversexed groin and be expecting a monk treatment.
2. Forget about going to the police. There's a whole lot of burden of proof to look into especially considering the fact that you are leaving with him. Also you MAYBE robbing yourself of a great RELATIONSHIP and Happy MARRIAGE.
O yes some blessing come in disguise. Hard fact.

3. It hurts to have your treasured virginity taken away in a way you didn't bargain for. GAGGING YOU IS THE MOST WORRISOME, it shows he has violent and CRIMINAL Tendencies.
4. You may reconsider taking it as one of those things. try and match his good qualities and make up for his weakness. There's no perfect person anywhere.
5. Most girls lost theirs in a more horrible way only to later become sex champions.
6. Pondering over the pain of what happened may cause you depression and unnecessarily mood swings.
7. Console yourself with the fact that virginity and balloon has one thing in common. "A pick and it's all history"

8. If you see genuine remorse in him forgive him, get the both of you go for medical checkups, free your mind and continue with him. You'd see he will treasure you forever.
9. If you have made up your mind to forgive him then close your ears from sorry loser feminists. Their counsel will bring you more horrible pains.

9. You implied that you guys loves/loved each other. Well, love endures and there's no love without pain. Love heals.
[/s]

Rubbish. Only a rapist will write this nonsense.

Well crafted script as usual. Only good writers write so fluently.
Rape is a terrible experience that no person should have to experience.

However, I don't understand women. I know an acquaintance living with an uncle who claimed to have been raped by him. She was devastated and all but against advice , she refused to report the victim and also pack out of the house even though she had lot of alternative accommodation.
She was always giving excuses why she couldn't report him and why she can't pack out .Such behaviour makes one want to wonder what exactly is rape.

I'm beginning to think the word rape is used too loosely now. Before anyone is hanged for rape, thorough investigation has to be conducted and we need to hear from both parties.

I'm sorry but many parents are irresponsible. Some will pressure their kids to get married, some will force a partner on their kids while some will burden their kids with financial demands.

Bringing kids to this world is not a favour. Sometimes I feel bad when my kids feel sick, I feel I brought them to this world of pain.

Parents don't 'own' their kids, they are just a vessel for God to use in bringing an individual to the world.