₦airaland Forum

Blocking him is the logical thing to do but we all know you wouldn't do that. People like guilty pleasures and what makes them feel good.
Even if you block him, you'll probably unblock him soon when you start missing the attention.
You will probably end up being used and dumped but that seems to be what we humans like, chasing shadows and leaving substance. I wish you the best in your decisions.

My foolish country men. Everything is about born, born and born. Couples have a right to abortion also, it's their personal decision.

The reason we are so poor and wretched and have online beggars everywhere is because some people's parents didn't have the courage to make logical decisions.

It's not all about giving birth, there is something also called being ready and being able to raise a child.

@OP, take your questions to a qualified doctor who can profer logical solutions.

Some people will always be different but in truth, most women who make such decisions have medical or psychological problems which they can't disclose to others so they hide under liberated and not wanting kids.
Just like an impotent man is more likely to claim to not care about women or marriage, that's if he's heterosexual.

Are these the famous alpha males everyone on nairaland keeps talking about?

It's sad but we will never really know the real story. There are extremely good women just as there are extremely horrible men and vice versa.

In 5 years you will laugh at yourself. What you feel is puppy love and it's normal at this age.

Which is easier? Hustling at Alaba international, looking to link buyers with sellers for commission or coming online to seek for help where people will doubt you and you have to keep defending yourself.

Why can't the average Nigerian realize that it's tough for everyone? If you guys where going to DM's of celebrities, that would be a different story but you guys keep begging those who are struggling and may even have worse financial challenges than you but have refused to be beggars.

WoundedLamb:
I would have gladly focused on the mantra if you had not brought up the event. So let me drop a few words on that before we proceed. The concept of wrong dressing is tied to region/culture. There was a time in the african culture when women only covered their breasts and their genitals. This knowledge implies that when one moves from one region to another, they might need to reassess their definitions. This does not necessarily mean dressing like the locals but, at least, knowing what to expect/tolerate. Countries near the polar regions, for example, get extremely hot during summer and extremely cold during winter. Traditionally, people from these countries got used to skimpy clothes during the hot season and very thick winter jackets during the cold season. Though these clothes aren't tied to seasons anymore, the culture is already favourable to skimpy clothes and it is no big deal in these countries. These clothes don't mean the girls are more morally declined than their fully clothed counterparts in Nigeria, these clothes don't necessarily make the men to rape them, and truthfully, different occasions might still require different dressing styles. I appreciate the fact that someone from Nigeria might consider this unacceptable (there are so many things Africans do that whites think are rather bizarre too) especially when he sees a fellow Nigerian dressing like these foreigners. But the best you can do as a stranger is to "preach" from a distance and not constitute a nuisance while at it. Harassing her like the man did is out of the question. There's nothing at all that slighty makes him justifiable. Good or bad, the girl had the right to put on anything she wanted to. I still don't know why she didn't call the police; maybe she's an illegal immigrant herself.

Now about the mantra, lol. The saying simply means you should not inflict any form of harm on people because they disagree with your philosophy provided they have not committed any crime. Crime, in this context, means anything action actively taken by a party with the aim of directly or indirectly hurting another party without their voluntary participation. You can disagree with people's actions, you can have an opinion about them but it's not in your place to go after them cause they don't fit into your lifestyle. Men cheat on their wives; boys keep many girlfriends these days and they come online to boast about it. The younger ones read these things and think it's cool, such a terrible influence. I personally disagree with that lifestyle, I might even tell a friend it's not cool and be 'vocal' about on a faceless forum like this but I'm not in a position to call anybody out based on that. I can only try to tell make my younger ones know what is right or wrong. There's always something we do that others consider not to be cool. The moment you try to tell people how to live their lives, you're already assuming a superior position and that is why men in Africa believe it's OK to tell a lady how to dress.

We have moved on from macro societies to micro societies. The society is now you and your circle and that's what you should be concerned about, maintaining the sanity of your society for yourself and your offspring

It's easy to spot an intelligent person. The tone sounds like that of a woman and that makes it double impressive (if you are a woman). While a lot of women are smart, most cannot help but be emotional when putting up an argument.

Good but tell oga to suspend fuel and power increase too.

Please help me judge this matter who is wrong between the two of us ?
Only a Nigerian talks like this, dead give away. Why do you people like cooking up tales?

Cooked up, fictitious nonsense. Why not show us their mouths, let's see the effect of the sniper. Anything for news and attention these days.

Poverty and hunger has made people think love doesn't exist- it does. Women do actually love but will most times rather go for the more comfortable guy just to have security but they'll always love whom they love. Love is not about wealth or status, love is just love. You see wives and girlfriends of rich dudes still cheating with their poor ex boyfriends.

That being said, I would advice you move on. Her heart is with another and you will always play second fiddle. You deserve more and if you search hard enough, you'll see someone who will be in love with you also.

SirMichael1:
It's a monthly get together ran every other month. Different men (about 20) host the get together. That is, the next time it will be my turn, the remaining 19 other men must have hosted it and that will be in the next 1year and 8months.

That's enough time to save some money so you can hire someone. It's stressful arranging a get together that isn't a do or die affair. Wives go through enough stress already, let's sometimes be considerate.

Get a caterer to arrange something you can afford especially in disposable plates. Please stop comparing your wife to other people's wives. Some people are work horse and others are not.

Stop complicating things. He wants to work extra hours so he can provide for his mum and you ain't satisfied.
Let us always reverse situations and ask ourselves how we will feel if tables are turned.

You didn't state your definition and you're naming names.

For me a feminine woman is a woman who actually looks like a woman physically and acts like one also. A woman who can handle things when you are not around but sits back and allows you take charge when you are around. A woman who allows you be a man is a feminine woman in my opinion.

A masculine man is one who handles 'important' things and allows a woman handle 'her thing'. For example a masculine man will choose a house that the family should buy after doing proper research and not on sentiments. However, he would not start arguing with his woman on 'less important' things like the flowers to plant or the gas cooker to buy. Most importantly, a masculine man is a provider, protector and decision maker especially when it comes to important decisions in his life and that of his loved ones.

Are Nigerian woman feminine?

A Nigerian woman is not different from any other woman in the world is she?

Nice woman. I'll probably beat sense back into you first. If it doesn't work, I can contemplate acceptance.

Women prefer those who take charge. All those toasting and sweet words is a scam. Be successful and confident and you will win women over.

What exactly is wrong with Africans? They never copy common sense from the western world but would rather copy their negatives. Why do people still think backward in this era?
That's why the politicians and religious leaders will continuously keep controlling you guys, because you people have refused to have sense.

I think the Nigerian aim of advice is to pull people into their circle of suffering. Alot of married people are unhappy with their relationships and alot can barely feed their families but will be the first to put pressure on others to get married.

Marriage is a personal thing. I only give advice to people who come for advice and nothing more. Nobody will support you financially when you get married and start struggling to survive.

As for getting blessed when married, I will only assume that the married person makes more effort to make money and saves more because of the added responsibilities. That may explain the fact that he thinks he is getting 'blessed' because of marriage.

I feel sorry for youths we have now. The country has failed them and unfortunately, they lack the ability to help themselves, they spend so much time thinking about sex and quick money.
I feel sorry for able bodied men and women who come online to beg. It's a reflection of the laziness culture of the country.

Any human who isn't disabled or sick and has to beg is worse than an earthworm. The lowest of animals.

LosC:
If you're having this issue, kindly go to settings and click on "wipe mobile ID data" then, input your details again

I did that and now it has shown a totally different person's details.
Why do we find the simplest of things so hard in this country. I bet you if it was the banks , this rubbish won't happen. Is our government cursed? The simplest of things is always an issue.

Everything in this country is a mess. It's giving me another person's details.

The question should be is the husband going to take the right decision? Your sister has made her choice. Is the man going to be smart enough to let her go without begging her?

You can't love me and not love my family, there's no point. It's not like they are going to stay there forever, probably to save up some money first. No man who doesn't like his independence, it circumstances that makes people take some decisions.

I'm not saying your sister doesn't have a right to her decisions, the man just has to be wise enough to let her go to avoid future problems.

Does he fit into the dream of a husband? Feelings will come, it's a matter of time. If he is a picture of your dream man, accept to date him and watch things unfold.

Don't accept any proposal till after about 6 months when you would have had an idea of the kind of person he is. The way people act in relationship is different from friendship. Some are wonderful friends and horrible partners.

Ps:
Calling people's boyfriend jokingly is a dangerous thing. You lead people on when you don't mean it. Some rapists have used it as an excuse. Avoid such acts in future.

Terrible twos, it's a phase and will pass.

You will have to be Buhari's daughter or someone very important for a man to do that. But women will trap a truck pusher with pregnancy to get marriage. Women need marriage more than men.

A figment of the OP's imagination. What is your own CV that you have 3 'good girls' dying to have you.

I wanted to type something lengthy but I just realized, no need for that. Your issue is simple, low self esteem. You don't believe you deserve or can get a better person.

Who chooses a stranger over family? You've never been stabbed before. I'll rather be stabbed by a family member than a stranger. How will I feel when I see a stranger progressing whilst my own family suffers because she is 'spoilt?
My dear, this is deeper than her being spoilt, you have a personal grudge against your sister which you ain't saying here. Maybe she is prettier, got more complements, better grades etc.

What of those who don't have family house where their work is located or whose family house isn't convenient? To each his own, but staying in family house as an adult has also limited some people and made them entitled.

I wouldn't blame a woman who doesn't want to live in a family house with a man. Some families will drive you crazy. Personally I wouldn't stay in my family house even if it is a gold mansion. I come from a small family who are easy going but I still wouldn't have stayed back after school.

Both mother and child are mentally unstable. But how can she not have a change of clothes all this while abi the clothe dey expand. Some of these news are doubtful.