Darkestking:


Why would anyone marry a 30-35 year old woman? Okay she has sexually matured and weve romantically matured and realized that marriage is pointless. It's better to just date her and have fun chopping where were both sexually mature.

You got me wrong i did mean waiting
to marry a 30 and above woman for maturing etc

the maturing talking is while she is marriage



whats wrong with marrying a 30 and above women ? if it was your sister would you have the same attitude of women of that age ?

sharone21:
When u marry too early /early, eg the man is 25 years, 50 years of marriage he is 75years old...... The years of marriage looks huge and may bring less excitement and quick boredom...Unlike a man who married at 35 years, 40 years of marriage is still manageable....

All in all, don't let the flame in marriage to go off.

from few studies marrying early has s bit disadvantage

usually you would be young doing things as duty/ as expected eg give him sex as long he wants it

while hubby is also busy doing it for rounds aka i do 5 rounds (beer talk with friends) instead do it satify the wive too

so eg girl get married at 20 the guy is 25

by the time she gets 30 she would have matured to understand her sexual needs and her body etc sex by then she nolonger do it as duty but desire too and the 10 year would have built self confidence of sex desire etc

For me the sex of early marriage years is more of duty (women), self praising (men)
i agree 35 and above brings in a bit of exprience and confidence

Women mature sexual at above 35, mature i mean having confidence in what they want sexually than just waiting for hubby to initiate etc

Poverty can kill sex drive, if you are poor living hand to mouth sex is the last thing in your mind

SoaringLife01:


This happen when one is an ardent Mills & Boon novels fan.

not really

let give you an example do you know that, the house you live in will determine your the type of se.x you have as couple

eg if you are living in a one room accomadation, your wife might worry about moaning becoz she doesnt want people in the next room hear her therefore during sex she would be worried much than enjoying

A couple with a proper eg 5 bedroom
house can afford to create a candle light romantic atmosphere in the bedroom and they wont be worried about people next door

so being romantic can be roughly influenced by

1 how you were raised and learnt being romantic

2 by the environment you are current in

3 by your own wishes and fantacies

one's wish and fantancy doesnt make it wrong becoz you also have your own wishes and fantacies, does that make them wrong ?

efficiencie:
Why is affirming a person's mental condition considered a cure to that condition? First it was transgender. Now it is transage, transrace and transspecies. A 12 year old can identify as a 30 year old and justify drinking alcohol, having sex and driving a car. Thus destroying the age of consent. A man of African descent can identify as a Caucasian of European descent and demand that he be handed a UK passport. Laidis naija go empy cos everybody go identify as Canadian. Thus destroying the relevance of passports and national sovereignty. A man can identify as he goat and justify having sex with a she goat while a woman can identify as a female horse and spread her legs for a male horse. Soon enough human/animal sperm will start fertilizing all kinds of animals/humans thus producing all kinds of chimera and monsters.

They are so prosperous so they do not need God and their new deity is trans. Soon this perversion, which the Bible refers to as the abomination that causes desolation, will envelop the West totally. I pity the Christians there. The mass extermination of Christians may start very soon in the West. Christians beware.

Human can only fertilise humans nothing else may be the close a human might fertilise are primemats

GetMeRight:


Three kids in this Nigerian economy with two adults to feed and cater for, but the issue is the husband not being romantic? Lol.
Must we kill ourselves to make someone happy? Someone who is just looking for a flimsy excuse to do what she's determined to do!
BTW: why ignoring? Something is fueling that cravings, right? But we must pretend like it is not there? Okay.

why are rushing to say "must we kill ourseves to make someone happy"

in this case, one should reflect on what they have done or tried in their own capacity and if questioned they point at what they have done

Hubby didnt disclose what he has dobe romatically for past 10 years so we can not full say hubby is wrong what if done what he thinks is being romantic while wife doesnt see it that way

Eg hubby buys flowers, while wife wants spend a night in a hotel with a good meal

GetMeRight:


The this issue is going, it is not simple anymore. The relationship might be heading towards the rock going by want the wife is saying and wants

The wife wants him to be romantic period and nothing more, of cause i understand that our brothers ego might have been bruised, but this is were he needs his own reflection on how he has been really romantic both in his own defination and wife's

If i was him i would ask wife how she wants him to be romantic very simple in my own world

GetMeRight:


Telling her husband that he's not romantic after 10 years of marriage! As if that's not enough, now she wants to pierce, get ankle chains, get tattoos and so on. How does these things related to her husband not being romantic?

why worry about things that havent happened, than focus on things thats have been said

Time doesnt matter 10 years or not, definately she has been either putting up with it or may be busy making hubby happy than also focusing on her own needs

Have every heard of women pretending, eg faking orgasm ? its becoz they put up with it

Do you realise that the first 5 years of marriage, is run by what one really wished (dream marriage) for before they got married than actually understanding your wife/hubby

You would be wanting your wife/hubby to be the perfect hubby/wife you have in your heard as time goes by to start to learn who your wife/hubby is really is

Thats the reason sometime husbands fight with wives, or vice versa each partner is saying my wife should be like this/my hubby should be like this, we tend to like to change them for the person we have in our minds than accepting who they really are

snthesis:
Got a shocker recently, my wife suddenly says i am not romantic after 10years of marriage and having 3 children... should i be worried
we got married young and she now in her early 30s

p.s
she now wants to get a tattoo, piercing. waistbeads and wear leg chain

To make it easier can you tell us what you have done to your wife which is romantic in your own world of being romantic

Lets take away dates that are on the calendar becoz you can be easily forced to remember them and do something

i want something you did with your own will, love, affection, and appretition of your wife

PDJT:


-I don't care what women over 33 years do with their lives. I care about my fellow man's dignity and respect. He must protect himself going forward. His supposed wife has being made too comfortable as all her needs have been meant by OP and now she is unto her "I want this, I want that state. So OP should let her enter street as soon as possible. She must collect from the street.

-There are loads of younger women (18 - 25 years) out there whose needs OP can meet at this difficult time. And OP will be better off for it. When a woman is done, she is done. You must let her fly the nest to go explore the other side of the divide and taste the street waters.

-So, I say Mr. OP; please take this opportunity with both hands and run with it. Go and marry another woman for your mental and physical health. Because if you fall for the gimmick of that your so-called wife, then you are gone forever. Bring back order to your life and don't let feminine chaos rule over you. Like I said earlier, if you need further assistance my DM is always open.

remember we are just sharing our point of views as individual, to you that how you solve that issue, to me i got a different approach

like i said getting a new wife, wont solve hiis issue if he is really unromantic

He needs a self reflection eg by asking wife the specific thats the wife view as not being romantic and he reflects on it and
see if he willing to change

in simple terms both can chat on things that each other think are lacking each other's sife

harmony75:
Wawu after 3 kids she now want to be stupid you better talk to her and invite her family to talk sense into her. When as an adult you should be getting more maturity!?

Really, do you really need to invite her family for a simple thing like this ?

1 why always call family when you can directly talk to hubby or wife? lets be wise to be able to sort problems before anyone

2 the maturity is that she has talk directly of areas hubby next to improve

3 lets not be biased by gender hubby can say the same eg wife wearing those fully covering dress that hides the curves of a woman, wife can nolonget look sexy in those clothes hubby can say the same to wife to dress better

PDJT:


-You think we are all kids here. .

-Mr. OP this is your chance to restore order in your home and life. Go and marry another younger wife (18 - 25 years) for your sanity and old age. DM me if you need any assistance. A woman of over 33 is already becoming a Mother Hen. Let her enter street, men of the street can't wait to welcome her.
-Look after yourself man, and be very selfish about it.

Marrying a new wife wont address his issue, the same 18-25 yr old will mature and find him unromantic

Women from 33 and above tend to be more self aware and confident of who they have became hence this guy's wife have come out open to tell hubby of his shortcomings

EriMma1:


I'm not being negative but realistic. Don't get me wrong.

Marriage can only be sweet when there's enough money to meet your needs. I don't know if that's what your definition of " thriving" is. A situation where it's "thriving" in lack of funds or not enough, just know that it's endurance. Many are smiling in the face of adversity hardship and hope against hope.

Again, I'm not being negative.

There is also thriving from people's eye (those who see from outside) eg a woman married to a rich person and she every material thing u can thing of but in the home the hubby has no love he is abuser and womaniser, then the thriving within one's heart where everything is perfect to your own personal point of view

Berrityga:
oga mi. When your with someone for long you get used to the things they do, and you crave a new adventure. The lady just wants a new adventure. You can't tell me the man doesn't buy suya, and other things when coming home, you can't tell me he doesn't give her money or buy her new things. Fear Nigerian women. They are never contented.

my respond was towards the words divorce, there is no need to even mention the word divorce

Berrityga:
Thats why divorce is an option. If you both are tired get a divorce so our data can rest mbok.

You missed the actual point, wife didnt not say she nolonger loves husband, she simply said he is not romantic, being romantic for example buying her gifts, like as simple as roses, even teady bear, or openly showing affection for his wife

There are many ways of being romantic and being romantic differ from person to person but the goal is showing love affection towards the other person by doing things they love

Lovilla:
That is too bad of her

Just give her time, she will change

she will change? who is supposed to change ?
Hubby is the one who is supposed to change to be romantic

Dearlove2me:
Legal practitioners in the house?
Experienced people in the house,
Pls, help out with this informations.
What rightful, peaceful way can one divorce a partner without violence?
For a marriage of three years, how can one go about with divorce?
What are the procedures and duration?
How can one do it without turning to an enemy, but just move on In a separate direction?
Thank you

the type of marriage you have will determine the right way to divorce eg a civil marriage needs the courts and traditional way needs traditonal way eg informing and gathering of two families

How one reacts to the divorce its self and sharing of properties will determine how peaceful it will be

Wodu89:



You're jumping just to argue. Go and read my initial comments

You are the one jumping

You said DIVORCE CAN BE TURNED DOWN and my argument started from there, that no STATE can turn down a divorce, state follows the wishes of one who files

ONLY WHEN THE COUPLE AMENDS THINGS AND AGREE TO SORT THINGS OUT THEN PROCEDINGS FOR DIVORCE ARE CANCELLED

Wodu89:




Oga. Speak with lawyers and confirm. Not all divorce proceedings ends up in divorce. They may go seperated but it's not always a 90% deal that divorces ends in divorce by the court. Go and do your research. I'm not speaking without deep research

Like i said you are confused, is it i said you are given time to rethink your decision towards divorce

You were sounding as if the STATE its self wont grant you divorce, whereas its the couple's decision stop the divorce application

Its STATE stops the application after the couple has made the decision not to prosed not the other way round

My correction was on when you said DIVORCE CAN BE TURNED DOWN

Wodu89:




You're wrong. Divorce proceedings are never 100% go and do your research

NO nation in the world forces people to remain married after a divorce application you are granted a seperation period or it takes long to be fully granted due usually complex issue of wealth

You are confusing not being granted divorce as one wishes against formal process etc and being refused, those are two different things

since you have research and found many of those copy and paste them here

Wodu89:



You're uneducated. Allow me educate you, just like serving a spouse divorce doesn't automatically mean it will be granted as it would be subjected to court hearing and a divorce can be turned down. Same way is such a statement detrimental to any advantages this woman may want to lay claim for or on.


Should the court in future see this statement, it will be decided against her interest that any divorce she may seel was with sick intent and she won't get access to a pin.


Go and google how American courts did the same in the case of a woman who felt she and her husband were old and past prime. Hurriedly pushed for divorce served the husband papers declaring the part of his $1 Billion dollar weath she wanted, properties and monthly settlement.


Try gave her nothing, the same way Psquare brothers stvpid wife in us was giving nothing.


Nothing is always the heritage of greedy woman with such intent


I end my comment with this, why should any female including my daughter want to boldly lay claim to half the husband's property just by marriage. It should be by mutual contribution to the development of that wealth, not by association.



Thank you. Alot of people think divorce in a marriage is as simple as walking out the door. That's a Nollywood fallacy


You have access to wealth by contribution not by association

point of correction divorce can never be turned down by courts but you are given a separation period rethink your decisions, after period procedings take place also this can take long depending with wealth and assets at hand


the claiming of the half of the wealth is based on if the wealth was built while the two were together, anyone comes after building the wealth gets according to time they came into marriage

thats the reason rich people makes you sign a prenup or if not the wealth is held through a family trust, were no an individual has NO control but as group you do and whoever wants to cash out can sell their share

Saintsammurai:
This looks like what will happen in Europe and America..
In Africa, no man in his rightful sense, will take that forking behavior from his wife..If you can't let go of your problems and regret in life, then she should not have gotten married, thereby robbing her unhappy past life on her husbands face..Which might affect the children..As a lady going into marriage, you must let go off your frustrations for the sake of a happy marriage..
She kept a lot from the husband, and keeping secrets is bad for marriage..By the way, the husband needs DNA tests for all her children, because ladies that keeps dark secrets can't be trusted.

In africa it can also happen it depends with social class, eg middle class and above were both eg are proffessionals with or without a maid

Life has its challenges and how we reacts differ from person to person, relationship to relationship

back to the story, its poor written story

1 hubby comes home late (though he had a goid reason to himself ) from the story he never inforned wife in advance of coming home late

2 the wife has right to be angry from either coming home late or leaving a messy kitchen

3 the anger from messy kitchen might be a protest to coming home late

4 the breaking down might be from things hubby does that triggers those old memories

5 the hubby asking who has hurt you might mean hasnt been full paying attention to his wife and has no clue that she went through all that

6 wife might have also tried so hard to hide her past all these years it has been eating her and i got triggered by a small things

injuredman:


I just wish to make few points that may help ;
1. Female circumcision removes only the outer part of the clit. But the clit is as long as some dic.k, but mostly inside the vjay. If she is someone that response to clitoral stimulation, then make effort to discover where the hidden part of the clit is.

2. Every woman response to things differently. Some enjoy clitoral stimulation, leading to clitoral orgasm. Some response to vaginal stimulation, leading to vaginal orgasm.
Try to discover which is hers.

3. Except she has a medical condition, every woman will enjoy sex when the right places in her body are engaged/stimulated.

4. Most ladies who were Circumcised enjoy sex, some enjoy more than the uncircumcised. Sadly, mostly ladies won't accept it openly. But most ladies borne before 1990s from regions where circumcision was done, had their clits removed. But they still enjoyed sex.

5. If she has all the qualities you need in a woman, go ahead and discover her center of gravity. Then go ahead to enjoy your marriage. The ball is in your court.

adding more

sex starts in the mind, stimulate the mind for sex

praise eg her behind when she going etc

by the time you go to bef she will
ready mentally and simple touch might get wet easily

people fail to follow the development of a child there is time a child uses a month to explore the world, we grab it and put away from reach, then when they start to walk everything is grabbed and thrown at this stage their are understanding few commands stop etc. From startng to work to primary school is crutial period of choosing how deal withh the child spanking is necessary at very young age tolddler age, eg a spank on the hand then at age 4 and above more vocal commands are needed and less beating

Problem with parents we beat a child without fully explaining the wrong, expect them to get right the second time you corrected them whereas their are just children tend to forget alot, they a constant verballly reminder, we are not patience with out children we tend want them to get it right the 2nd and we use fear as way to control instead of using reasoning(of their age )

thats why you find children in the western world ask why, they just want to hear your reason why and sometimes it makes them
remember that you once said it and they will back off

Hashabiah:
A lot of women don't want to put work into themselves when they're married . That special look they had when they were still dating gets lost as they feel "I've entered my husband's house ".

The sad thing thing about this mindset is that those secretaries (who end up substituting these women from their homes) are actually maintaining their beauty by regular exercise, dieting and beauty treatments.


Let me give an example : my young neighbor's wife is constantly looking fat and disgusting. This woman isn't up to 36 , yet she's looking like a bloated walrus that has under gone 3 liposuctions. Infact, I can safely say she resembles what yorubas would call "kpomo".

Her unattractive figure is one of the major reasons why she's always having quarrels with her husband infidelity, but let's be sincere : which sane msn will look at her and feel sexually turned on... ? See even if an angel with a righteous heart sets eyes on that woman , he may mostly likely depart and find her replacement immediately.

You have noticed something but have you ever wonder why they lose interest or something to look sexxy etc

socialmediaman:

From David Belle on Twitter:

do you undertstand what it means yourself ?

boiz2men:
Life is puzzling.

Sometimes I wonder why our politicians steal so much. By God's grace, I became rich and graced to see hundreds of million. A few contracts here and there and a great career. But here comes a new problem. This doesn't excite me anymore. The next 10 million is not going to make my life any better. Promotion at work, increase in income, nothing excites me anymore and worse is that I am not materialistic at all, so acquiring gadgets, toys, or building mansions could never make me excited. I live a very simple life, wear basic quality fashion items, and drive simple cars. This is just my personality and not an act of humility.

Despite all the many good things that have happened in my life and all the things that I could potentially acquire. I am at a stage where I am really confused about myself.
Sometimes I buy unnecessary things I don't need just to feel like I am spending money. Other times, I am quick to assist deserving friends.

If you are not materialistic and yet, rich. How did you overcome this problem? This problem has left me in a state where I am neither happy nor sad.

we find happiness is different things eg some parents find happiness in having grand kids

Happiness is an individually things, yes money brings happiness to some people eg a person who loves gadgets or lasted things, being able to buy and have it brings them happiness


Happiness come through different things

Ogunleti01:
Please I want matured minds to do justice to this discourse. As a man is it proper to reveal your monthly take home to your wife? Please young adults should stay off!!!

1st tell us why yourself you are questioning it for being proper or not

emmaodet:


You are right

Have ever noticed that young one cant wait to grow up to elders, due to power aka not being questioned and ordering people around

This is all due how elders trash down whoever is younger than them, worse african parents dont usually acknowledge that their are areas you smarter than them, what they dont know that acknowledgement from parents gives a child confidence

emmaodet:


You write very well and i love it.
At the bolded.........You are right and it is the reason why i hate following the crowd. I like it solo and going the other way even though there will be a lot of noise and distractions.

Critical and independent thinking are not common in our DNA - we are quick to do things because it is expected of us, people just do what is expected of them without thinking it through. - True. Many examples abound.
Had a family friend that was warned against marrying immediately after NYSC without a job but he wouldn't listen. He doesn't want to lose his heartthrob and after so many back and forths and threatening everyone, he was left to his faith.
Married and has given birth to 2 kids in one room. Always calling and begging for money. The wife sef don show am shege when love has disappeared in the face of poverty.
I have blocked him on my phone due to incessant begging. When people are making mistakes and we try to correct, they try to shut us up with mind-your-business mantra. We say this not because we hate them rather their decision making will one way or the other affects us in future and that is what i hate about poor people who don't plan.
They give birth to children that will be thieves and armed robbers tomorrow terrorizing the streets and disturbing the ones that are just managing their lives. Some will turn to junkies selling drugs to boys on the street and their girls will turn to street hookers etc.

Salary may not be within their control but is child birth also out of their control? - Exactly. They don't have any excuses and it is still this poor decision making affecting their lives they will take to polling unit en-masses and again vote the wrong candidates. Their decision making will always reflect in other areas of their lives.

People don't take the time to find themselves, figure out how they want to live or figure out what is important to them in life, they just run with the herd. The best decisions I have made in my life, are decisions I thought through, decisions that I didn't allow others overly influence. I typically went in the direction that people said I shouldn't go and I am better for it. - Again. i agree with you

independent thinking is their in our DNA is there but culture and tradition has groomed us not to question elders

Most african cultures and tradition view questioning of elders and taboo, hence whats is called generational curses but todays churches are just a vicious cycle due the fact that if one wants to do things outside the box he casted out family or looked down by society

xpensivealex:
U don't just wake a baby up from sleep and send him on an errand with intention he will perform excellently.Reason I always allow my car to steam up before moving,no speed at start up so that the engine oil will lubricate all parts necessary . moreover,the weight of ur oil will determine how fast it will flow .

nowadays you dont need to warm your car this is due to advanced oil of our generation hence oil is said to be eg 5w-30 or 0w-30

meaning 5w represents the average winter morning temperature, therefore the oil is still effective at those low temperatures in the morning you dont need to warm the car for oil to be thinner and able to penetrate and lubricate those tights spots

the oil is said to be mutligrades

the most important thing is knowing the recommanded oil of your car

Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello guys sorry to bother you again, I have a question to ask you if you can help me with answers , my ex husband sent his brother to my shop to give me 30k for our 2 children upkeep the children he hasn't bothered to cater for 3 years since our separation. The brother has also asked me for my number because my ex has something important to tell me. I told him to call him with his phone so I can talk to him which he did and my ex asked to see the children that he will be sending his brother to pick them up every 2 weeks on satursay to spend time with him and he will be bringing them back in the evening he also added he will be giving me 30k every 2 weeks saturday. He remmaried he has a son. I told him that I don't trust him with the children because of what happened when we separated he seize our daughter and I had to report him to the human rights to get her back and I don't want to go through it again. He said we should put the past behind all he wants is to have a great relationship with his children , I told him I can't release the children to him he should go to human rights or court he cut the call and I gave back the 30k to his brother to give it back to him. He left he hasn't returned back and I want to know if I was wrong for asking him to go court or human rights for visitation because I am scared he will seize them again . please advise me

1 you say he has been providing for the kifs for the past 3 years and he comes with something snd you reject it, does it make sense you should taken the money spoil the kids

2 as for kids because of the previous, he should start by seeing the kids under your supervision eg meet at the park, spend time with them
while you are there, his behaviour and attitude will determine the rest

Schoolguy9:
Some women have this inbuilt desire to control the people around them especially the male folks and you see it happening in the society, family and within marriages.

It baffles me because women do not desire to be interefered with in issues that concern them yet you see them justling to determine what course their brothers study, what time their husbands should come back home and whose mother comes for Omugwo first!

All these things are even worse when the man is inexperienced. For crying out loud, why is it in some women's nature to control everything that concerns men?

its a complicated issue it depends how you see it

1 do you see it from your mum's point of view i.e your mother controlling your dad or your mum is not the type

2 do you view it looking at your wife that, you dont like to controlled or in simple terms put boundaries

The reason i used the "your mum" point view is that eg would you allow your mother to be ill treated simply becoz she sets boundaries that your father should follow, am sure here and there you would stand up
for your mother

So sometimes as hubby we say it is control but sometimes the wife just wants to set boundaries that makes feel loved, respected and etc


Before we press down in our wives ask
yourself would my mother or sister be happy in such set up or situation

Most people confused fear and respect, in africa, mostly kids they fear parents and
take it as respect
Then setting boundaries is seen and being contolling