funmisticqueen:
marriage is not about control. Money is what gives control. Stop misquoting me from your place of pain.

Also stop this 'poor me' 'boohoo' victim mentality, it is irritating and pathetic. You are the one emasculating yourself, by allowing yourself to be emasculated.

Most likely money was all you had to offer in the marriage and now that you have lost that, you are just like an appendix in your marriage. Existing without function, but capable of causing hell because no one cares about it anymore.

It is not about bringing more money but showing that you are a leader, and being her support. Give her a reason to trust you by showing initiative. Do you think women like to be bread winners? She is picking up your slack.Of course She will be pissed at you subconsciously.

Be proactive, anticipate needs in the marriage that you can provide and meet them without being told or nagged. Convince her that you are still necessary in your marriage. Get your head out of your asshole and be man.


This is the most candid advice you will get from me or on your thread

SmithRussell:
Shut up yhu dumbskull.. A man who has money can be controlled by his wife or parents or siblings or friends... On the other hand, a woman with cash can't be controlled by anyone,, just that for her kids' sake she can only be constrained , somehow..

Women have poor insights and are generally narrow-minded.. They don't believe in future, they don't remember the past..

That's why a man is needed to control his woman, for she can't control herself

Martinez39:
@Michellekabod2

What I said is the truth, there is no woman-hating here. The guy was living in peace with his wife and willing to share even creating a joint account. Once the woman became better financially, did she support her husband? NO! Did she respect him? NO! Did she recognise that they are family unit and she ought to carry her husband along instead of sidelining him and going to the family members? NO! Was it necessary to turn the children against him? NO! It just goes to sure how cold a woman can be.

The sacrifices and love a man puts into his relationship when he is the breadwinner can't be reciprocated, in anyway, when a woman is the breadwinner. A man can be liberal with his time and money when he is the bread winner, but a woman can never be liberal with her money once she becomes the breadwinner and her husband hits hard times. In such situation, any money given to the husband no matter how little must be paid back and if he delays, nagging and fighting results. Even during an argument, the wife will bring up the fact that he is broke and she is the one providing even if it is unrelated to the argument. This is the nature of women. To give out their cash to sacrifice for the husband is living sucking the life force out of them and the husband, to them, is to be the work horse providing generously for everyone even if she can't reciprocate.

Cc. Strungup79

LordKO:
If you're a Mech. Engr. with at least 2 years previous work experience in the petroleum industry, send me a PM immediately.

As for your wife and her recent attitude, it's obvious that you've been living with a frenemy all this while. Only few men are lucky, and can be lucky, to marry virtuous/submissive women. Since she's of the small-minded stock, you've to master the art of treating small-minded people and mete out same to her - if you aren't small-minded like her too.

funmisticqueen:
you are assuming things @ bolded. That is not objective at all.

Michellekabod2:
I didn't say you were woman hating,not you. I suspected some people may try to take the sides of their gender as its common with gender bigots on this forum. Men supporting men,women supporting women,so I adviced he be wary of the advice he receives.

And also you are generalising which ain't true,not at all cases will women behave that way

DNSPro:


No curse is on you. Have you taken any new training or skill to reposition yourself during this period?

See, as times go on, some previous opportunities loses relevance and new ones are birthed. If you hold on to the past, you will become irrelevant.

I was at a shop to do some graphic works few days ago. The owner of the shop gave his staff just just a phone to take passport and print it out.

This was previously the work of cameras in the past but technology has rendered cameras useless with the emergence of smart phone.

And it practically ended the reigns of global brands like Kodak and others.

I could cite numerous examples but I am sure you get the drift.

That is the point.

Michellekabod2:
I didn't say you were woman hating,not you. I suspected some people may try to take the sides of their gender as its common with gender bigots on this forum. Men supporting men,women supporting women,so I adviced he be wary of the advice he receives.

And also you are generalising which ain't true,not at all cases will women behave that way

otipoju:


You know at a point you just tired of smokes and mirrors. Especially when you have more important things that you are working on. But one thing i know, women do not like to hear the truth and you can't let them see you finish.

funmisticqueen:
I am making money, Not much but enough to make me comfortable. Enough to plan my future.

funmisticqueen:
You are not the only one hiding a monster within.

There are worse things out there than you

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

simonlee:
simple trick....

use a strange number to forward a text to your phone that reads "i will give you N20million and an oil company job if you divorce your wife and marry me"...
then see if she wouldn't go back to factory settings!

Dehindepgenius:
I am almost completely sure you are not giving us the full picture. It would be really interesting to hear your wife's version of this story. As human beings, we tend to tell stories in a way that favors us and make us garner pity. If your wife is the breadwinner at the moment, she deserves your loyalty, respect and understanding. Taking care of the financial responsibilities of a home is not easy. You plan, you worry, you get afraid, you have sleepless nights...especially if your spouse does not pitch in.
Here's what happens. When a man loses his source of livelihood, every little move by a woman suddenly becomes emaaculating. The woman is already under a terrible strain and you are here to barmouth her to strangers.

I frankly do not believe you are doing enough. Factories abound, uber is there, the keke business is there, even uneducated teenagers from the north are hustling and making a good living riding bikes.

Yea, sometimes a man experiences setbacks, my dad did. The true measure of manhood lies in dusting yourself off the ground and trying again. These days sadly, there are too many lazy men who whine instead of actually being men. If you are here bad mouthing your wife, then I'm willing to bet, you do it everywhere. My cousin went through this. Everybody called her wicked. The husband's elder brother was like come and stay with me and I'll fix you up with something. They no tell the brother. Las Las he chases the man out of his home and told everyone to ignore the man because he is lazy. All he does is play video games and sleep.

Society is particularly unfair to women. A quick look through this site will convince any unbiased person of that. You already have men pitying you and condemning your wife which is exactly what you wanted. Oga poster, you came here seeking pity, looking for people to condemn your wife and soothe your ego and you already have faceless strangers doing that, but the truth is you are failing as a husband and a father. These people cheering you on and telling you your wife is wicked are in their ow homes hustling and taking care of their business.

I am a man like you and I will not lie to you. You are your own problem. Take these steps.

1. First of all, love and appreciate your wife. Thank her for all she does.

2. Pray hard and ask God to show you why you are experiencing hard luck. Folks here might not tell you the truth, but you may have a character flaw that is working against you. You may actually be lazy, most lazy people won't admit it. It may also be karma. You may have treated others, including your wife badly in the past hence the problems. Yes, it happens. Find out what the problem is and fix it.

3. Hustle, hustle, hustle! I don't believe in excuses. Real men don't. Meanwhile, what do you do? You can mail me your cv at dehindep@gmail.com.

mascot87:


I use you fear woman more o

Michellekabod2:

Funmisticqueen is pro-woman so don't expect an objective response from her,it is always the woman right and men wrong....
He ran the house when he was more financially stable and they lived in tranquility and now its her turn and there is more or less chaos.
There is nothing wrong in a woman leading the house, neither is any thing wrong in a man leading.
Leadership and enslaving/controlling are two different things. Leadership is more like a two people owning a car, one of them taking the drivers seat to drive whilst the other holds a map and directs, it must not be a tussle to hold the wheel. A woman or man can lead,or both can lead themselves(depending the agreement of the couple). What matters is the outcome of your leadership. There is nothing wrong in taking a turn in leadership when one partner is down in whatever. For example if the lady is the leader and she puts to birth,whilst lactating the man takes the role of the leader or if the man falls sick and he is the leader,the lady will assume the role of the leader.
What impact to you make to the marriage when its you turn? Not everyone can handle power in their hands,some use it to avenge their perceived enemies.
An irresponsible man shouldn't lead,same with an irresponsible woman. It is obvious his leadership did less harm than good whilst hers did much havoc. For heaven sake turning the kids against the father and involving the family into their marital home?
If I were the Op I will walk away from the marriage .

@Op don't listen to the pro-man advice on this forum to punish or become vile to her or paint all women as beasts. And also don't listen to the pro-woman advice that will still paint you night black and her a saint because of the preconceived nature of men being beasts.
Don't expect an objective advice from a forum filled with gender based advisers.

I personally advice he walks away and if there is any woman in this same issue who at the loss of fortune suffers from her husband, she should walk away.

LordKO:
If you're a Mech. Engr. with at least 2 years previous work experience in the petroleum industry, send me a PM immediately.

As for your wife and her recent attitude, it's obvious that you've been living with a frenemy all this while. Only few men are lucky, and can be lucky, to marry virtuous/submissive women. Since she's of the small-minded stock, you've to master the art of treating small-minded people and mete out same to her - if you aren't small-minded like her too.

strungup79:


Will take this advice. Need to learn a new skill and unlearn some habits. Maybe I should focus on myself. I've been more about making others happy as I derive happiness from it

strungup79:


I'm always out of town looking for one job or business. I've just been unfortunate that all my efforts have yielded little or no fruit. It's almost as if there's a curse working against me.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

Martinez39:
Michellekabod2, Ubunja and Co. Was this not what we were discussing? Give a man power, money, and make him the bread winner, his family will benefit from him. Give a woman money, power, and make her the bread winner, her husband will see hell. OP needs to take the red-pill.

Even though the man is at home, his wife has turned turned the kids against him in the cruel and petty game of power dynamics. And many girls had the dishonesty to attack me when I created THIS TOPIC and they acted like parental alienation is not really a thing to worry about and the father should "just spend some time with the kid". Here is a man who is present in his home and yet the kid has turned against him (a case similar to that of emmaodet). Never underestimate the power of brain washing and the wickedness and brutal nature of women. Women are not fair players.

Indeed, Ilekokonit was right in THIS TOPIC OF HIS. Also the arguments and contributions made by ubunja and myself are valid. A family is supposed to work as a unit but the woman purchased properties without the man's knowledge, turned the kids against him, and disrespects him yet folks like funmisticqueen (whose personality is as ugly as she looks) turned this on the man insinuating that the man must have been cruel to his wife in the past. The op opened a joint account with his wife but now, the wife has gotten a secret account.

Any man that remains oblivious to female nature will suffer and get burnt.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

BiggyB242:


I pity your BF, that's if you have one for having such a mentality. You think those wealthy men today are wealthy because they hustle more. Life has its way, there are many contributed factors. Some acquire their wealth through illegal/dubious means, others came from a rich homes with connect, some the course they read isn't a favourable, others work their way to the top. etc.

This is the reason we have so many yahoo boys, ritualist etc just to prove to their women that they are "hustler".

Money changes men and women but that doesn't make what she's does right. Is like saying a lot of men cheat so you should a get a pass for cheating on an innocent man.

funmisticqueen:
fact of life, money changes both men and women because it comes with control. It's human nature

Your wife is not emasculating you, you are just losing control of the power and finances in the family. Do you know how much BS women tolerate from men in marriages because he earns more?

Uncle, go and hustle or give your pants over to your wife and stop complaining

Yinibixema:

Which money are you making as a doctor ? Do they pay you more than 200-250k?