Hello I am looking for the contact detials of a good DJa nd MC here in london for a wedding

Please le tme know if you know of anyone that is affordable that can do one or btoh

thanks

Please - i am looking for a good solicitor in London.

Preferably African, but to be honest not really fussed as long as they know their stuff and come highly recommended.

Immigration law and appeals based on marital status

thanks for your help

I have seen 2 solicitors free of charge for consultations, they came recommended.

I want to see a third before making my mind up on who to instruct on my case.

A name and phone number and/or website would be appreciated.

Especially if they can offer an initial free consulation / advice session. African would be nice if they are good. If not, any that knows their job and UK immigration law

I am free for an appointment wednesday

THANKS IN ADVANCE FOR YOUR HELP!

@sesman - thanks - but try telling an african man he needs counselling!!! lol - hmm somehow i dont see that going down too well.

i do love him and i am willing to work though it with him -provided he too makes an effort and sees that its a theat to our relationshp - just because its the way he is is not acceptable

he has been like that since childhood and when i first met his mum she told me you need a patient heart and calm head to deal with him and to not take things too much to heart

i suppose mothers know their sons.

its not easy as i need to find a way of dealing with it and talking to him that he wont offend his maculinity

Thanks Stillwater - i will do that, it'll be hard to leave - but I am pray that God's will be done and if that is it - then (let me not event hink like that now)

stillwater:

I think it's the idea of you wanting to get married soon you find it hard to bring up the subject in order not to upset him, so he doesn't cuts off the wedding. Yeah you love him, but I really feel you want to get married to this man because he's available at the moment and you're not getting any younger. I might be wrong though.

Try as much as you can to state your fears to him sensibly with respect. If at the end of the day, despite relaying your concerns without no form of disrespect, he raises his voice or sulks again or still thinks you have disrespected him, then I'll ask that you leave. Emotional torture is no joke. You will be unhappy most of your life time.

I think this is where i am at the moment, we were looking to the whole marriage thing because by then it would have been over 2yrs of courting. And i fear the emotional toruture more than anything right now!

I am not getting any younger - but i am certainly not old - i am at that stage where it would be nice to get married, but i can afford a about 3 more yrs (God willing)

Thanks for the advice so far, and yes i would love to marry me, like i said he is perfect in every other way but the anger thing!
Has he ever, raised his hand at me? No, ahas he ever insinuated he felt like it - No,
Do i think he will ever change? - not completely (but i think he could make more of an effort to control it)
am i ready to spend the rest of my life with someone like this - not at the level he is at the moment (hence the second thoughts) but i would if i see making and active effort.

hence why i am willing to give him more time (like someone said - better a a postponed wedding than a broken marriage)

Thanks ladies - the general consensus seems to be he cant change - i want to believe he can, and i think it may be too soon to give up on him yet.

Perhaps push the wedding to next year and tell him the reason. though how do you tell a man i dont want to marry you because of your anger?

na wah ohh

@rave - i feel you and i have often thought of the last point you made about the kids, it something that eats away at me, as same way he expects respect in front of them, i would too

i think i need to give let him know how i feel and take it from there ideally

jay bee:

Traits like that just don't dissapear.
The real question is can you continue to deal with his unpredicatble outburst? if yes and dats his only fault then go for it and pray/hope God performs miracle on him

You see that is it - it is his only fault - he is in eveyr other way the perfect man - Pastor told me same as above, that if it were his only fault and my temperament complements his (which it does) then there is a reason God put us together and so we should work and support each other.

I dont think he will ever feel as though he 'owns' me - as his family dont even particularly believe in bride price etc, its just that I need God to soften his heart in anger and let him be more tolerant

I do love him and ideally i would like this all resolved before we get married, but like someone said down there it probably wont just disappear it takes time

I see my mum's point,

@Ebonyz - thanks choc - think you are right it needs addressing - i know i am not faultless and sometimes i probably get on his nerves but sure it should not be that bad.

Atleast i admit there is a prob that needs addressing

Typical answers - probably cant be bothered - i wonder hoe many of us Africans actually make counselling a carrer!

ebonyz:

I see and smell DANGER here

is that all the perspective you can offer - anyway thanks

My boyfriend has anger problems, in that he gets really angry very quickly and when he gets angry he does not eat my food, does not talk to me at times for days until he calms down. We love each other and are planning to get married in December. We have been together over a year now. He knows he has anger problems, and even our pastor has tried to talk to him about it. He always apologises and is quick to restore peace.
He is a traditionalist in that he thinks african girls abroad are lax and not as submissive / respective as they should be. So he takes the whole respect and submissive thing very seriously and you can imagine how angry he gets at the least notion of not being given his due respect / authority

We had a falling out on friday night, and didnt talk to each other. On sunday we went to my mum's as we had promised her a visit. Whilst there we started talking about jobs back home, and a friend of mine that left UK to work for Guiness back home. infront of my mum, he stood up and said that will not happen and walked out of the room and walked back in to say lets go home. (his tone was angry and not very respectful)He drinks (occassionally) but as a born again he was brought up in a household that did not encourage drinking and so does not support the industry. I was brought up in a catholic household and i suppose my mum didnt think much of it, its just a job.

My mum called me and is having a go saying she did not like his tone, anger outburst or reaction in front of her, she is not comfortable thinking that is how he talk to me (does not discuss things) and that i will live the rest of my life with such a person. She wants us to discuss somethings and not just take his word for final because he says so. She does not want to bring it up with him as she might lose her temper, so she thinks i should tell him how she feels and let him come and apologise to her if he thinks he did something wrong. I sometimes have doubts and thinks what if he doesnt change? what is the difference between being submissive nad being opressed? He wants me to trust his judgment and do what he asks of me - which i do sometimes, but then what about what i like/want to do, does that not count for anything?

Also, should i just let the whole thing with my mum go, or bring it up with him? We just started talking again since last friday (he has calmed down) this might mean we don't talk for the whole week.

I need help to understand and get my head round the whole thing. At the start of this year, we were so sure and I was so sure about us, but now i need to find a way to deal with his anger, cos it seems he wont change soon.

Hey ppl

Just looking for some general knowledge / consensus on the following:

1. How long should an engagement last? ( i know it depends on circumstances etc, ) on average!

2. What is the correct sequence to go about a marriage from engagement to marriage. If both parties are from different places, whose culture dominates? the woman or man?

Thanks

what made you break up with him?

has he moved on and is with someone else? - if so, forget him - if he is single and you think you may hoenstly both truly be able to make things work then go back to him.

No point in deceiving the ne guy any further

whitelexi:

Girls are not generally gold diggers, they can be materialistic but not gold-diggers - thats cos in most cases around the world, they can afford these things.

However, most naija girls are both materialistic and gold digging lazy bums who sit around and hope shit comes their way. . . Its just appalling

i suport teh highlighted part - and although an independent woman comes with her own dramas - so does a dependent woman - Guys its up to you to choose which type of wahala you want!!

darqly:

@luxoire and junee, NO! I daresay I love my woman dearly, she knows this and its unfortunate that I try to make up by giving her gifts, and when I do see her, I really splurge.
But I know she really yearns for those moments when we are together even if its for a few hours. I have managed to surprise her occassionally with visits and some thoughful actions that she really cherishes.

I'm NOT unsure, insecure at all, we've been together 2 years now and only been together in the same town for a total of at most 4 months. I trust her 100%.

I[b] guess I just know she'll always be there so I put her on the bottom rung. [/b]
I want to stop this so that I don't lose her.

wrong attitude to have. if you really appreciate her and loveher like you say you do! then you will yearn to spend time with her - exp where you guys dont seem to have much time together

stop taking her and her feelings for granted - because she may just surprise you one day and stop always being there - who you going to blame then?

I am saying, make time for her more often - if you love her like you say - do the things to make her happy with you and the r/ship. don't push her away. Everyone is human, when someone feels like they are the one doing all the giving in a r/ship it is only a matter of time before they get fed up and stop giving

Selfishness is natural and can not be cured i think

I have found what works for me is trust. If in a relationship where i trust my partner will look after me and my best interests i tend to let go and look after theirs and them as I dont feel i have to worry about me me me all the time

But when i am in a r/ship where i am not confident/comfortable, i am always trying to second guess his next move so as to be one step ahead - always trying to look after me cause if i dont he def wont, infact he will use and abuse and take

So i dont go into a r/ship until I trust my partner will look after me as that is what i know i will do for him

Reading your reply above

you problem is you dont care/love her enough to make those sacrifices for her, considering how often you see her. the above is not even selfishness, it self centredness, you expect the world and r/ship to revolve around you, your life and your terms and you wont accomodate some one else'
either that or you take her love and care and good naturedness for granted knowing that if you that she will
OR you just simply are not matured enough in mind to have the kindl of r/ship you want. it is only a matter of time before any good natured woman feels like your door mat and gets fed up with your attitude - but then you cant put up with a self centered woman either
so you will either be single, be a serial heart breaker or just be unhappy

ebila:

Luxoire,can i borrow u from him for awhile?LOL

i donty think he will say yes to that - but you can ask when i make him mad!! lol - i didnt always used to be this way, it took alot of learning to get to this stage and the mutual trust pays off

privacy should be allowed out of respect and trust, but you should not HIDE anything.
its a thin line especially when you live together.
My partner and I have privacy, but at the same time, if i e-mail or FB account was open when he went online, i would not be worried about what he will see etc, cos i have nothing to hide and vice versa
so i can leave my phone in same room as him and go out or even ask him to answer my call when i am out of reach - but it doesnt mean he should go sneaking up behind me checking my msgs etc,

My family and I looking to apply for the ILR under 10yrs legal residency. We need legal representation due to gaps in our visas with H.O processing times and also some circumstances around one of my sister's applications

thanks

congoshine:

Madam ,na war?

I gave a specific time for this announcement. You know I need to review things properly before taking a plunge. . . .please bear with me.

Her name is coming out within the next hour. . . . Remember,she's someone I have feelings for & its not mutual,alright? Thanks

no be war oga, but you sef too doo - haba!! since yesterday, and i read your msg you gave a 2day time frame between friday -sun etc, - sha na u sabi - good luck

poster - all dis you are saying here na story!! if you like her tell her, if you dont want to tell her, keep your piece - see ppl begging you to tell them her name since yesterday and you still dey swell like 2 cup garri

story!!!

whitelexi:


poster: never force a girl on a guy, ur intentions might have been honorable but see as they backfired, leave puffy to his doings when it comes to matters of the heart

Trust me, i've learnt my lesson. . . the hard way too. Thank u

my point exactly - some ppl should be left to make up their own minds - talking them into things usually ends badly glad you learnt - isn't that what the journey of life is all about?!!

whitelexi:

The 2 key things here were that (1) his twin had engaged someone he dated for over 2 yrs and puffy was still all about money money money, and (2) it was Angel who made the initial approach and it is un-gentlemanly to stand a girl up - especially when u know she's placed her esteem on the wire.

I'm not defending our actions, but i think we did it with his interests at heart. It may have turned out badly but it could've been really good if not for one hiccup or two.

Who told you she'd have minded? y'all assumed on her behalf that it would hurt her feelings - i am sure if given the choice, she'd rather have let you guys let her go and never contact her intially than deal with the heart ache now

Don't date a girl out of pity if your mind aint there!

why would you advise your friend to date someone he has told you he is not interested in.

Well i suppose we all have different views / opinions on this - of course Puffy is a grown man and has the right to love who ever, and so does Laura.

but when your love starts messing with those close to you and other ppl's sentiments, then it's time you stopped and review the situation!

Lexi - my statement hurt you huh? well sorry, i just thought you'd steer clear of certain things, but then it is your friend and i suppose you only gave him your honest opinion on the issue - in my experience, if a guy says No and that is his gut instincts he usually strays at some point, even if he grows to deeply love and care for the girl in question!

who knows though, maybe I am wrong. In which case, i have more to learn on life and love

All of you are to blame

Lexi - for not allowing Puffy to make his own mind up in the first place - thought better of you!!

Puffy- for not standing your ground when you said you were not interested in Angel - sissy!! abi na woman wrapper i go call you

Laura - for wanting to date your friend's man - shame no hold you? - if the tables were turned and your fellow friend/woman did this to you how would you feel? You should not even have entertained these thoughts/advances, to the statge where Angel has to find out - and you call yourself a friends?!!

Angel - for being such a drama queen. wettin? so d guy no want do again - from what i gather you have a lot going for you. alot even some of the guys in this sorry little mess would be willing to give an eye and an arm for!! (Lexi inc) so chin up girl and move on, you will find some one else who will love you and want you for keeps!!

Bottom line - Angel, dump Puffy and tell Laura to never call you - cut all links with both and all of them and move on with your life - you can't force a man to like you when he likes someone else because it is only a matter of time before they cheat on you emotionally or physically.

If Laura is willing to be with Puffy then she shouldnt expect you to be happy for her as you too are heart broken

the rest of you, leave them alone as obviously your interest is Puffy - Leave him to make his own decisions and if it is a mistake later - he will pick up the pieces.

But you should leave Angel alone to get on with her life as hanging on to all this drama will only cause her more pain!!

TheSeeker:

Prostitute, I finish am
Set the tone for giving her money to make her hair? Do you have an idea what your saying? There's nothing to set the tone about. She obviously is materialistic and ain't no tone is gon' be set around there.

@Poster

I still reiterate that you tell her to skin her head and be as beautifully natural as an African "mutoto"

i did not say set the tone to give her money - neither did i say set the tone to NOT give her money - i said he needs to speak up for what he wants and set the tone either way!!

whitelexi:

Works well for me.

good - now you go and have yourself a fab weekend

you can practice abstinence from both!!

whitelexi:

You wont put me in a tight corner - i know how to wriggle out
And yes, i missed u - very much too. . . so when next u think of jogging off, pause a bit and remember that me sef will prolly not be active again until u return.

hahahaha - funny thing is i don't think ppl will notice your absence - let alone miss you!! (joke!)

ok i will do my best to log in as regularly as i can - if only to leave a trail of msgs and replies so that if you miss me onlne you have some reading sna replying to do when you do log on

Deal?!