₦airaland Forum

Samakus:
Few weeks now.

He wasn't doing that when you moved in? Harmless or not, that's pretty awkward. Doesn't he have a verandah in his flat? Omooo if na me shaa, I'll call the caretaker's attention to it. He could get a chair and sit in the open space, orrr am I to provide that for him lol. How on Earth am I supposed to feel comfortable with this kind of attitude? Problem no dey finish true true but no be for my doormot abeggg oo.

Not really a tea person but same quantity of both for me. 3teaspoons each.

When did this start? How long has this been going on?

Nice one. Wishing him a very happy birthday. Cheers to more life in excellent health of mind and body.

He's not becoming a movement. He is a movement already. Jagaban is too. PDP, they don't seem united. Time will tell if Nigerians want a country that truly works.

You say it's not a very big town, how much patronage do you get from customers? How has the experience been so far? Will you be able to withstand the pressure that comes with running it on a full-scale? There will always be competitors, at some point you'll need to do certain upgrades just to stay relevant, moving one/two step(s) ahead of others. May God bless your hustle and may your efforts never be in vain.

I understand your fear, that uncertainty. I actually think you're doing well in the business, even just as it is small scale. My advice is that you watch how others run their laundry business in that vicinity, I'm sure you'll learn one or two things that will help, it will give you an idea of how to run yours. Also, in securing a shop, it is always advisable to consider a good location. Wishing you the best in all your endeavours.

Cleo18:
The training is about 2months.
He's started sending applications for job adverts. He was offered a job actually but the salary would be based on target met monthly. Any month he meets target (marketing job), he would get paid, else no salary for the month. He doesn't like marketing and target job. So he's not yet decided if to accept it or not.

What do you think?

If the marketing job doesn't sit well with you, you can keep applying for other roles advertised by various organizations, hopefully you get some positive feedbacks. Oh the training is for 2months, virtual right? that's okay. I have a hunch that you want to be in your own space(for the sake of your sanity) before the training starts.

Well, since it's pretty urgent, start now to scout for an apartment. Keep in mind that there will always be options so the onus is on you to work around your budget such that you'll have some money left to cover your feeding & other expenses, pending when you get a better job offer and for the period of time the training will last.

N1m may feel like a very lump sum breathing in that bank account of yours but if you jus commot 1k, my brother ah say you go start to dey analyze how 7digits take enter 5digits within a short while, time go begin dey crawl like snail and you nur go still understand as the thing take go. The high rate of inflation, omooo e don humble everybody.

Kobojunkie:
It is probably time for marriage counseling. There maybe things on your wife's mind that is keeping her from being as connected with you intimately as you used to previously have. Since all you have tried hasn't been fruitful, if may be time for you two to sit with a counselor to help you dig to the bottom of the problem.

My thoughts as well.

Whiteheartbit:
The first 2 year of our marriage was all good, she was sexually active and hot.
But the kissing part was still an issues.

I was not really available as I supposed to be in the second 2years due to the nature of my work, I was not meeting up at all sexually and emotionally.

Things got better I was transferred, I'm now in charge, which give me a lot of time to spend with the family.

As for the lesbian part I don't think so.

If she was sexually active and hot in the first 2yrs, I'm trying to deduce what changed 4yrs down the line. I presume she had to deal with the fact that you weren't always going to be around due to the nature of your job which is totally not your fault but in all sincerity, that is one thing that's not easy to come to terms with esp when a romantic relationship is involved, moreso when you're newly married.

She probably learned to restrain her emotions, raging hormones many times, I'm sure you had to as well. This minute he's home, you're both happy to be in each other's company, she's glad to have him back home once again and ofcourse he needs to get some rest but then time waits for no one, she blinks twice, he has to leave for work, poof! there he goes. Life goes on. She eventually got used to it, the mushy stuff(which was often short-lived) seemed meaningless to her and it stuck really hard that even now that you got transferred, she still isn't over it, psychologically.

About the kissing part, I see it was never her thing. Yes, there are people who find it unappealing, now I'm not talking about mouth odour, there are actually people who can't bear the thoughts or possibilities of exchanging saliva, someone sucking on their lips, rubbing tongues and all that. It has nothing to do with their partner, that's just how they feel about it. Like I said earlier, I'm not talking about being with someone who has bad breath or an oral disease.

Contrary to popular opinion here, for the fact that she wasn't always this cold towards you(in this regard) ever since being married, maybe you both need to see a marriage counselor. Just my 2kobo.

He should've known better.

blackparadise:
what do I have to do...

Haha lol. You know what you have to do but won't, for reasons best known to you.

In just a month, she has changed this much. If she didn't show some of these traits in the 2-3yrs you both were together, then it's her friend(s) influencing her orrr she hid it so well, either of the two.

I'm not sure talking to her with do much as she has already told you her mind, indeed it is her body, her decision and her life. Finding closure in this case, will only cause you more pain cos eventually she would want you to just get used to everything.

You don't want that, move on.


Modified to add: I just read "a woman fears and respects the man they truly love". Nope, you should be wary if your partner(wife) is scared of you based on how you relate with her/them. Respect is the keyword, the woman for her husband and the husband for his wife. Cheers!

You keep friends that don't mean well for you smh. This one that is always connecting you to girls that need accommodation, one day you'll get into trouble and he will desert you.

Cyoung4real:
“The person everyone is stepping down for, no fit stand up”���

Comrade, you sabi roast vawulence

Mokason288:

We have to do it ooo

What if Jesus Christ says any body that refuses to participate

Won’t enter Heaven

Looool

Wherever you go - go go gongo
Wherever you be - sisi eko
Do not say yes when you mean to say no - baba Ibadan

Boss lady ahnie, I salute you heavily

I'm really sorry about that. Honey will help with the burns but it's quite difficult to get one that is not adulterated.

Godoverevery:
Am trying to by all means but she trying to guilt trip me with the narrative of I don't like her that why I don't want to help her.

Is it really her fault My friend is the one i blame most because she didn't put a gun to his head to book those ride.

Tell her that you're not in the relationship with them. Whatever happened should be resolved between her and her boyfriend.

I'm not sure of who to blame. I understand he's pissed because she complained about stress and he actually didn't want her to go through all that but she'd rather save her money. Whatever rocks her boat jare. I mean why complaining about stress in the first place, well na she sabi. Her response really threw him off balance and then he started thinking about a whole lot of things. Normal normal, I feel say im suppose don reason those things tey tey.

Now, I'm not saying it's not good to shower your girlfriend/boyfriend/fiance/fiancee(as the case may be) with care, affection and all but then when things aint rosy wrt finances, that shouldn't drive you to do things you wouldn't do ordinarily like borrowing money unnecessarily(in this case), stealing and whatnots. Let your SO know how things are with you, they should be able to understand but if they seem inconsiderate about it all, then you really should have a rethink.

Consequently, if you do not let them know and you're going to extreme & sometimes dangerous lengths, and then deep down you feel that most times there is no form of reciprocity of some sort, I'm really sorry but that is all on you. If you're not okay about something, please let your feelings known, don't push it aside, talk about it, a sina obele nsi na emebi ike (please if you don't get it, Google will help you)

Omoo if to say na me, dis na somtin wey if I laff finish eh, I go jus tell am "oyaaa na, let it be as you'd want it. I been dey reason mek you no go dey stress yourself but e be like sey na me find trouble, no wahala na, public transport sef dey okay. Babe abeg no waka for night ooo, you sef see wetin dey happen for Naija. You go yarn me as everything go, later na. Take care".

ChibuifemChelse:
Why is everyone taunting me n calling me SIMP, everyone makes mistake, she made mistakes and I made mistakes, and we are willing to change, and working on our issues.

Good luck with that. Hopefully, there will be no regrets.

Jeromejnr:
What you explained isn't mid life crisis. Boredom isn't even in mid life crisis.

I have gone through it and its not what you think.

Spot on!

She wants you to plead on her behalf? I'll advise you to stay out of this matter, OP. It is only the two people in this relationship that can salvage it otherwise everything has gone south.

When you're squatting with people, just zero your mind about comfort. Be it friends or family relatives, no matter how well you relate with them, it is like that. Feel at home no mean say you fit jump yakata dey do anyhow, nobody send you even if you be Methuselah immediate younger brother, na who get house and who fess come house, dem know.

My brother, to rent house for Lagos no easy o. Shey na your savings you wan use run am? How many places you don know? Which areas you don go? To avoid premium tears, abort mission abeg. Agents go too whine you, dem go bill you, dem go still run you streetz. I saw the other thread & the idea of renting a 4bedroom apartment for the purpose of subletting it, no try am oo. Na Landlord trouble you wan start to dey find, dem go draaggg you like thief.

Cleo, I implore you to stay where you are for now. Cyber Security is a good one, is it an online or a physical training? How long will it take for you to get certified? Is it after certification that you intend to apply for jobs or you are actively sending job applications now? I think you should start from there. In the meantime, try to get familiar with your environment, don't keep late nights and please stay out of trouble. Try to endure, be cautious, plan your next move and work towards it. Good luck!

I was going to ask how old she is but never mind. She played herself, nice one.

Words fail me

Banana & pineapple(the very ripe ones oo) topping my list.

Dad like no other e put am inside laundry basket mek e no go dey look for wetin e go scatter/spoil the last picture wey e put one of the twins inside im knicker, see boss baby face, e dey vex gan chaiii

A beast! I hope they don't sweep this case under the carpet. They should find him wherever he is hiding. He won't stop until he kills them all.

Lmaooooo wetin be dis

JovialJune:
She didn't throw any baby, she simply gave up her right as her mother, do you expect her to accept and take care of a child she would hate, thereby affecting the child's upbringing negatively? She did the right thing

And no chicken came home to roost, she still doesn't want to meet the girl, her life, her choice, her decision.

That's right. Trust them to come and twist everything to suit their narratives. Some will still come and ask why she took the actions she did "afterall men are polygamous in nature, so e no fit chop anoda soup, na only oha e go dey chop, she for jus calm down, shebi e no dey beat am naaa".

Probably things would've been different if she wasn't married to Mark at the time. When she found out that Mark was having an affair, she didn't want to have anything to do with him but then she was already pregnant. She wanted to take it out but Mark pleaded with her. She was ready to cut ties with him cos of infidelity but she did love him and thought they could make it work plus ofcourse they have a baby on the way, maybe that would rekindle something. Nahhhh, turns out Mark wanted her to "understand" that he was already in love with the other woman and he couldn't let her go. She instantly knew there was no way that would work, she couldn't deal, moved out and filed for a divorce. Back here, she would've been talked into forgiving him and going back to her husband's house, she's his only legal wife naa, from one family meeting to another lol. Yes, she bore him a child but instead of joy and maybe hope, this was going to always bring back sad memories, her mental health was at stake already and she needed to move on with her life, start anew. She didn't want the baby, and yes Mark may use his child as an avenue to constantly get to her, I'm sure she thought about that at some point, she really wanted him to disappear from her life. Since he was with the other woman, it was only logical for her to give the other woman a choice to adopt the child. She didn't impose it on her. Her death is quite unfortunate. She has moved on too, you don't just call her and ask her to come see the child, would this have happened if the other woman was alive? No, when people sign their child(ren) up for adoption, they never go back on it even when/after the adopted parents are dead. I understand that the child is devastated, yes she needs motherly care, she needs someone to comfort her, to tell her that everything will be alright, she needs support more than ever, she needs her mum. I agree but then you don't expect the woman to just jump back into the picture even if as just a mother figure to her. It doesn't work that way. It doesn't change the way the woman feels about the child, she may have forgiven the man over the years but that doesn't mean she wants him in her life.

- Sometimes, you forgive people, wish them well and not want them back into your life, that is totally okay. I just really feel for the child.

God1000:
Bank officials often connive with these fraudsters

Giving sensitive information to fraudsters in exchange for money, I've heard this before. That is very bad.

I'm so sorry for your loss. May God comfort all his loved ones.