₦airaland Forum

You have to accept the fact that it can't go suddenly, no matter the approach. The major step is to be aware that it is bad n be cautious of it. While you still do it once in a while, continue informing yourself that you want to stop it, struggle with it seriously and see the end of it. Someone told you to watch a video on YouTube, it will help you cus the spiritual implication of it will be said n that will scare you more about it. Just take the process serious, u will be out one day. You need to get good woman and start planning something serious with her too. On PE, get good herbs and wash your system, you will be fine.

You better hold your emotions cus it wouldn't last. There is no attachment, you are both catching fun. He will move on once he got enough of your cookies

I respect the creativity involve, but you can get some new stuff with less price and make things out of them rather than old clothes. There are cheap Ankara, lace and others. The creativity is superb n respected, keep it up

I'm supposed to pay on the first week of March but this Pandemic couple with hard times in this Country left me confused.


This is May Oga, it is two months already That your rent has expired n lockdown never start at all then. You can't use lockdown as excuse, you suppose have prepared something for your rent as early as February ending. You can only beg n promise him if he accept.

Smkinhawt:
I am not a kind of girl that likes taking from men. Be it attention or whatever. The thing is he is the one that gets angry at me whenever I don't tell him things bothering me. Like he gets really mad. But when it comes to his, I am kept in the dark and left to guess. There is a change in his attitude. He normally does not like telling me what is bothering him but wants me to tell him what is bothering me. It has gone on for years. I know what it feels like not being able to contribute to someone's life but yet the person is always there for you. That is the way he built his relationship with me. Not taking from me. Only interested in me. So it has been frustrating.

Some of us are like that, we are not ready to disturb you with our ordeals but we are ready to shoulder yours. Relax and keep checking on him either through call or visit. You can talk to him when he returns to his normalcy that you want to be part of his entirety, you want him to carry you along, you want to feel his pains..... Tell him you want him to be telling you his challenges, he probably might change.

It is very possible to feel that you don't get along with women but as long as you intend to have a baby, you will need to work on that. You do not need a babymama,you need a wife. I will advice you take your time and get a reasonable woman who will understand you n help you grow out of that state, not a nagging woman that will be complaining everytime. There are reasonable, caring and loving ladies that you will really love n admire too.

I understand your plight oop, it is a fact that God created men/women differently and that is the main reason why both men n women needs to understand gender differences in order not to fall prey. It is a known fact that woman can destroy a man for a reason known to her and that is why man needs just one woman who loves him n he loves back. A man at the right age n time looks for a right woman and both of the enters agreement of life time..... No cheat on her, love her, stop running after other women, focus on your union, get some money, do not go near them when you are not ready, get some level of wisdom... then you will have the good side of her. Men brings out the beast in women mostly. Many men cries because they are not due to have women. It takes some level of loyalty, gentility , and intelligence as a man to have real woman.

Oga, face the reality and pack yourself together, if you need to apply for another job you better prepare your cv and start pushing it out and if is to learn new thing. Nigeria is a lawless country, forget about all this questions you are asking, the company has decided and that is the final.
Best of God in your next phase.

Marriage and courtship are two different things. You might need to wait n have full prove in courtship and then send her away cus you wouldn't be able to go on with a cheating fiancee but the case is different in marriage, you need to do everything possible to save ur marriage. It wouldn't be good for you to get negative report which will either make you to send her pack or not trust her again forever.

My advice.
Pick that guy's number and call him before your wife ( get her attention into the conversation), call the guy and tell him that your wife(mention her name to draw her attention) told you he is disturbing her for sex, ask him why he is doing that after knowing that she is married....... The guy will give response that will fully implicate your wife, then warn the guy audibly to desist, threaten him that except he wants a mysterious future he can continue, then calm down small n see your wife reactions before you will give her audible words.... Tell her to give you some space to heal yourself from the wound she had caused you( you can stop talking to her for like a days) to show that you are serious and accept her plead after with a strong statement "anytime you try such again you are gone". Embrace her and take her back. Marriage needs all things to survive. Your wife wants to enjoy NYSC period without thinking of the effect on her marriage.

4Play:
You just quoted a list including the term "outright debt cancellation" but claim there is no request for loan cancellation.

What you can argue is that he didn't say Nigeria specifically needs debt cancellation - he was referring to a group of countries that need assistance.

Are you saying the assistance he requested for involves loan cancellations cus I can only see concessional loan which means loan with lesser interest rate n flexible payment plans.

Okoroawusa:
The article is a very informative news but the headline is not.

Don't fall victim of commenting without reading.
Thank you

President Buhari said the assistance includes extending concessional loans, technical support, lowering of tariff on medical equipment and consumables, sharing of expertise in case management, adopting open trade policies, as well as outright debt cancellation.

Many people reads headlines only and jump into reactions. Buhari never asked for Loan cancellations, he only plead with financial bodies to give light loans and supports. People are very lazy, they can not take time to read few lines from the the news at all.

President Buhari said the assistance includes extending concessional loans, technical support, lowering of tariff on medical equipment and consumables, sharing of expertise in case management, adopting open trade policies, as well as outright debt cancellation.

Many people reads headlines only and jump into reactions. Buhari never asked for Loan cancellations, he only plead with financial bodies to give light loans and supports

It is high time Nigeria government n northern leaders find solutions to the issue of Alimajiri.........The whole thing is a total disgrace to the nation.

AkupeMBANO:
The niggar sounds like a gold digger to me though!!
he dey find rich man pikin. Men should believe in themselves and work their way through to the top. look for a lady from a humble background, and marry. with God on your side you must blow!! and most importantly stay incharge of your marriage without any miscreant looking down on you.

We can not say categorically that he is a gold digger cus he said they met during NYSC and he might not probably know her background then. My own observation is that the guy is not ambitious, dreamer and a goal getter and the man saw that in him during their conversation. Not everyone will start big but our dedication and determination to be become big drives us to greatness, the man himself might not start up big but he worked his way up through dedication and duggednes and those are the basic attribute the man expected but the guy could not present his manifesto to reflect those things.

Silasloaded:
Okay Correction Noted sir But Am using Asha Nokia 302 thats why is not easy for me.

Learn to avoid excuses n take blame. I normally use phone to post too. Always make your words readable. I was struggling to locate the points.

Poverty with greediness relegates a nation. Nigerians are greedy, not contented, they want everything and those things leads us to many vices. Instead of organising themselves n get whatever portion that may reach individual they tend to disorganised the whole thing cus some people want more n some feel it will not get to them.

shegzydave:
embezzled money����

If you get the opportunity you go embezzle too and beside no be everybody de embezzle, we have some cool dudes who are business mogul

Op, people have said a lot and I am very sure you are disappointed at all they said cus you came here expecting their support. The real truth is that it looks like you are too comfortable with that little job you got in oshogbo and you never planned of moving out and moving up; the man judged you base on your responses and not your certificate, he might probably say he can't allow his daughter married HND holder but that is not what he meant. The man expected a curious and ambitious guy; a guy who has vision, dreams and can show them through his charisma. No one will invest on his child n will not expect a good output including you. I will advice you to leave the girl cus you will not enjoy the parents if you eventually force things, leave her and deal with your life squarely if you really want to make it big in life.... Be ready to hustle and upgrade yourself in all form; money wise and education wise. God will help you.

That is the gravity of cheating especially on men. It is not easy for men to condone cheating. Decades and still hurt

You saw this coming but you ignored, maybe she is beautiful to you and you want your guys n relatives sees you married a pretty lady. You still got into the marriage and she continues the trash yet your low self-esteem did not allow you deal with the issue. You only need God if you can not deal with the issue straight by addressing it through proper engagement of words.

No one is complete oga. If you love her you can manage her since you said she has many good side. You will only need to give her space n allow her to recover anytime she swing mood (once you notice her change, just ask her if she is fine, if she wants anything and once she didn't answer, just allow her to recover) . Some people are like that and it is not about age

It seems the man get some money(babcok n covenant) n he has evaluated you and sees that you did not measure up, you knew where your gal is from n you did not buckle up by upgrading yourself too while she went for her masters. He sees that you are going to draw the girl back n rubbish everything he invested on her. You should know Iron sharpen iron. Leave the girl once the papa disagree n I do not think the man can ever agree.

We have many advisers here who never tried any business before, they saw thread and decided to contribute.

You said renting apartment might make you stuck, since you might move soon, if renting a house might hold you down, building a house will do worse. Building a house to live is never an asset but a liability, only those who are stable business wise build house to live. I don't think you need to build any house now since you are still contemplating on your move. I will advice you to take proper time to think and decide on your move; decide whether you want to travel or go into business/investment full time, while you are doing that you can move your money into a domiciliary account to save it against naira fall. After taking your time to decide on your move, if it is travelling good luck, but if it is investment you will need to evaluate what you are doing now if it will last, you can push your money on landed properties and continue with your current hustle while you watch your properties appreciate then continue eyeing other businesses you can invest in by the time you start selling your properties. Get stable before thinking of having your house cus you can have a good location of your choice when good money is on ground with stable business.

No actions you find in Ghana that is not in other places, stop haste generalization, that few people did some things does not mean everyone does that.

optimistD:
As if I have been feeling the impact of the ones we have been exporting before now. I provide everything they should provide for me. I pay internal security N8000(my share of 24000/month), N2000 for the external security, 2 generators in case one fails, and still got a bill of N21,000 from PHED this month with a threat to disconnect me, which I'm still contesting, note that I wasn't owing as at last month. I don't want to talk about the high private school fees due to their inability to run government schools. Even with the present condition of things, they don't care or rather do not know what to do than to wait for oil money to be shared and embezzled.

You will feel the impact now when the price of everything goes up. All the prices you wrote here will shoot up soon because government will make some tough decisions that will affect all organizations and the reactions from those organizations will fall on everyone(consumers). No one enjoys in a nation where economy is in shamble, we just need a leader that will push diversification agenda than other things, a leader that will make diversification his only thing. Drop in crude oil price is a global problem and no oil producing country can run from the reality including US but other countries can suppress the effect from other source of revenue generation.

Flakky26:
Thank you. But Linda Ikeji cant be a good role model for teenagers in terms of her marriage but business and success wise ,she is okay. funke akindele is close it. I need more of young men as role models below 40 years or around 40 years.

Ok, I dont av much guys but you can check this guy. Search his name on goggle Adebola Williams

sexylassie2:
whether you like it or not, people are in a relationship in exchange for something, they exchange something for something and sex is part of that exchange, most men will complain about lack of sex after giving a woman money, so we cant say that sex is free, a man in a relationship with a lady expect sex he act like he is entitled to it and can create drama just because of sex. the reality is that most men do not want to deal with the consequences of going into a relationship, nothing is free in a relationship.

just because a woman does not ask for money during relationship does not mean she wont ask you for money in marriage.

I may concur with you, anyone who goes into a relationship primarily for sex should be able to pay the price but I think genuine relationship should not be setup for sexual purpose, they might decide to bring in sex but it should be a plus and not the Center of the relationship. That is the reason why all this young boys comes online and rant about girls that abandoned them after spending on them but forgetting that they have exchanged the money for sex. There are more purpose to relationship but people tend to abandoned the purpose for sex. It is well.

sexylassie2:
You misunderstood everything.


Stop pretending that you don't need sex in a relationship.

Maybe you should read your message again. Sex is a mutual thing n no one should pay for it in relationship. I do not dispute supporting your partner in whatever form which should be from both party. I do not need to pretend, not everyone is for all this relationship saga, I am not in any relationship n I do not need it. I will walk to a lady that is ready whenever I needed marriage without all this long relationship of a thing which people use to steal from each other.

sexylassie2:
That same lady that did not respect him with respect another man, i am not supporting her attitude but nothing goes for nothing in a relationship.

The reality is this, if he can complain for lack of sex in a relationship, i think she can also complain for not fulfilling his obligations. It is a 2 way thing, after all i have no official mandate to give sex to a man who is not my husband.

his ability to provide during the relationship will determine if the relationship will lead into marriage we might want to deny it but it is the truth, i am not saying he should give in to all her demand but he should also know how to control his situation and show that he is the man in the relationship.

Madam, you lost it completely on this thread.
1) Relationship is basically for exchange of sex n money.... Woman brings her body in order to get money
2) until he can provide in relationship, no marriage.

Your believe though..... I hope it is working for you.

Ariza:
Wait, babe we are both ladies, you will agree with me that we don't treat guys we love or value anyhow. Even when unsatisfied there is a way we handle men we cherish. From all indications, to that lady the guy doesn't worth more than a money bag. Trying to get such woman's respect is a waste of resources.

Yea... Maybe love alone isn't enough in a relationship,but Money shouldn't be the basis either . A guy has no official or mandate to spend on a lady who isn't his WIFE (same goes for a lady). Any financial gift or support should be given out of love not responsibility. Men only make it responsibilities to convince their women that they are up to task, unfortunately women now see these actions as a measure to judge men's capability. Lol.

The man should just let the lady go if he wants to live long.

You have spoken well dear. May God bless all ladies with understanding n reality of how things work. BF may support but not a responsibility.

If we are talking about ideal settings where all things are been equal 25yrs is perfect for a guy, but with this Nigeria situation 30 is not bad n I don't think 34 is bad too. Naija is for hard guys now.
I think one should not wait too long after getting a reasonable n secure job, like a year after is enough, there is no need waiting to save one big money. The earlier marriage the better(25-29).

Maybe you should give your dad, step mum n their children space, stay away from them and always tell them the reason why you did that anytime they call for assistance or your attention, let them know that you will do all your best for them anytime your dad is ready to tell you all you need to locate your mum.