₦airaland Forum

The IMF observation is base on the global fall in oil prices. We all know that Nigeria depend solely on oil as her main source of revenue generation. Until Nigeria diversify her economy, things like recession can not stop affecting us frequently. The aftermath of the pandemic will affect all the countries of the world but IMF is pointing to Nigeria because of her single source of income.

The problem is that Nigeria does not have any good healthcare facilities up until now. Instead of using the money for palliative measures, they will prefer having some reasonable good healthcare in place to position the system well before international bodies. Healthcare facilities that government suppose to be working on every year, they abandoned it all this while since they all could afford going abroad for ordinary checkup. I never heard one single healthcare facilities(either construction or equipment) that Buhari government has put in place in the last years. They just want to take advantage of the donated fund to score cheap goals in the area of healthcare. May God help us in Nigeria.

You gave a good encouragement there but i think bible requires our own efforts before God can give support through prayers (work and pray). Individual have to work on him/her self to become that kind of partner he/she is praying for. We also have to work on our selfish nature (when a lady got attached to a man primarily because of the financial gain, and a guy is attached to a lady primarily because of the sexual gain, they will totally ignore value and worth). we need to be more value, and worth cautious other than selfish things. we need to evaluate the believe system of our partner, the understanding and maturity of our partner, we need to know the true colour of our partner but selfish gain normally cloud us. until we thrown away selfish desire, it is not possible to deal with the real thing that the relationship is designed to address. Those are the work we have to do which our prayers will compliment. It is more than prayer alone, it requires our personal input too......No success without price. Many people have enjoyed their marriages during relationship or courtship. Courtship/relationship is designed for a critical communications through which we can engage ourselves in order to obtain the picture of our partner and immediately we discover that our believe(orientation) system does not match, we need to call it quit but because we wouldnt want to loose the selfish desires, we tend to ignore the big things and settle for the small thing.

your girl is still enjoying herself....18yrs.........If you want a serious relationship, look for another girl before she drains you emotionally. maybe you should take her like friend too n not be serious cus she is not ready to be serious now

I don't think you are ready for marriage, you have to be careful cuz it is your parents that are pushing you. Maybe you should take your time and position yourself right for marriage. It is not about your financial capacity alone..... You need to be ready mentally and emotionally..... There are more to marriage. You have to understand what it takes to leave with woman.

Little cent.

Look at this two post @unik3030 n @missimelda01 they are saying something I respect. You have to work with your parents to take final decision. Talk to them on the steps you have taken personally about it and the outcomes, then all of you can take final step together. They don't have to come up with command, they have to work with you to get final decision. Talk together has parents n son.

Advice.
7 years is too long before taking all necessary steps on your relationship and decide where it is heading.

It will be very tough for you to leave her now n if you decided to leave her, how n where is she going to start.

We need to be proactive in our endeavours.

I don't think you suppose direct it to gender.... Both men and women suffers from that. We can only advice ourselves to identify our weaknesses and try to manage them while we embrace our strengths.

Bobo, do not take a foolish step by either ignoring your woman or abandon her, she is just 20years hold and you expect her to act mature in every actions, go n see how mothers of 30years above even messed up in marriage n their husband never reject them. You have to face your cross and embrace it, you have to grow beyond your age right now cuz you have done what men does and you have to start acting like real men. Start encouraging her and assuring her that you wish to do more and by the time you have more money you will do more. Reality has set in, I am sure you wouldn't take offense if she acted like that when you were dating but because baby has entered now, you can quickly pick offence. She is bound to do that, you can only reduce her horrible behaviours now by talking to her n not take her wrong actions as offense all the time.

God bless you

The guy is a real man, he gave affirmative response to all her questions and those responses gave answers to many potential future misunderstandings. The lady doesn't understand that not all things seen or observed are to be said. She ate the food already, what is her observations about the food going to bring; does she expect him to tell his mum that the food is salty in order not to make such error again or what. It is great to Learn how to observe but greater to learn how to respond/ react to observations.

It is not bad to give such responses in relationships, cus it helps to put individual on check n know when to comment

DAutoDiagnosis:
I got to this thread through one of your comments on another thread, referencing your story.


My dear, you need to heal, and I believe you are in the healing process, albeit your comment on the other thread shows that you've still not reached your full healing.


I know age will be like a factor and some pressure for you, and there's nothing wrong about that. The first relationship you talked about should not have lasted that long the moment you found out he was into Yahoo, but you still stayed and hoped. That wasn't love or loyalty. The values he held wasn't matching yours. And this other one you will give your car to, then walk to work. Like seriously, which responsible guy let's his babe walk to work while he uses the car, what happened to driving her to work and driving her back. I have not told my babe this, but never will I allow her walk while I drive, which nonsense car, but you still stayed. Those relationships were not meant to work in the first place.

Now, Money fades, everything fades. Within a twinkle on an eye, things can change. Good to bad, bad to Good. The same man you think is in your class or level can be off your class tomorrow.

What you need in a man are values. Values they uphold, they should be things you can deal with, whether they are rich or poor, same class, below class or above your class.


And I think you need to Love yourself. I found out, for you to love rightly, you first need to love yourself, that way it will be easy to love others. There's nothing wrong with you. Continue to work on your self, go out, say hi, smile. I saw one man in my dream, (God revealed it to me) , they are people you know, people around you, people you gave audience, forget all those bobo someone is attached to you.


Loving yourself is not putting up with nonsense, because you love yourself enough. The man of your class or above your class can be in secured, stupid, foolish, abusive.


In all draw nearer to God, he said he will direct your path. And be lovely, and stop frowning. I know you don't.

Be good

This person said a lot that you need dear. Firstly, you have to love yourself (nobody can give you joy and happiness better than yourself), secondly, you need to start learning how to identify real men, men with dignity n values.... No reasonable man will accept all those you mentioned that you did for him.... How will a reasonable guy allows you to relinquish your car for him ( where real men bought single car with their money n drop it for their women).... We can be supported but not virtually in all things. You can easily identify real men through their values n believe system. N lastly, you can not use one man to judge all men . (Can you reach me on +2347068292560 through whatsapp, I am not in Nigeria, I just want to be a distance friend)

You suppose tell us your thoughts ; Do you think she is a good girl that you can marry, are you thinking of starting all over, do you think you guys can forget religion and start a good relationship,have you asked her about those years you were not together, have asked her why she is calling you now n not since. You can't just expect us to advise you without giving us clue of the whole scenario.

olumide4christ:
Well, the only issue with going for money first is that when the money comes and the man wants to attract a good woman, many women will appear because of the money. Now, the man will have problems determining which of the women came because they love him, not because they love his money. This is the issue with that route...and I have seen this happen and I know many who towed the path of make money & the women will come swarming all over you are in that dilemma right now.

Like the Bible says, "wisdom is profitable to direct"....it has helped me over the years.

Thank you sir.
We are here to learn. May God help us all

olumide4christ:
You're very right, sir.
The same applies for men. A woman that will accept you when you have little or nothing will stick with you when you have much or little in the future. That's been my own personal experience and that of many people I know personally.

I agreed with your submission Sir. But if a man decided to go for money first, he still have tendency of attracting good woman better than a woman will do. I support starting out early once you can find a part in life with a right partner, no need having all the money in the world before starting marriage.

pansophist:
It's because women started out being desired.

From 16 years old, she naturally attracts men with no effort on her own. Her appearance is enough to keep the men flocking. So thet assume this will be everlasting, especially with rampant feminism telling them there is an imaginary patriarchy holding her down and how much she dont need a man.

Until reality sets in of course and by then, sadly it's too late

Parents have roles to play in that regards. I am not saying dictating for her but guiding her right. Children listen to parents who have records( parents whose their lifes shows their advice n guide.)

Oga, if you are serious about this your post, your wife is not a slave or a punching bag. By all measures, you are not suppose to hit your wife for making mistakes or act foolishly occasionally. You can not expect her to act the way you want all the time. The only thing I think is to sit her down n talk about any mistakes or wrong act from her n she is expected to apologise. On the issue of sex style, I don't think any church has right to tell you about styles you might choose to adopt btw u n your wife but if you agree with your church no problem, but I think you need more sense as a married man ...

Aside covide19 issue, Nigeria govt suppose prioritise health sector. I never hear any new project or upgrade of existing hospitals(UCH,LUTH) since the beginning of this govt. We had how UCH was once a First Class hospital before now but no govt ever tried to renovate n upgrade all this big hospital to world standard. If Nigeria is serving other Africa countries in terms of Medical we worth it; if other Africa countries come to Nigeria for treatment it worth it. Buhari said many things about elite that travels abroad for treatment but never laid one foundation or upgrade existing medical centres. God help us

PrincewithGod:
You people are busy talking about money, marriage, relationship, what about eternal life? That should be the number one priority of every human being on earth.

Hmmmm, what a good contribution. I love your contribution but you have to understand that we are dealing with money and marriage issue, how to balance it as a woman. God is the foundation of all n we can not neglect God.
Thanks for you warm contribution.

uchman:
I tire for Nigerian men and their wahala!
What you meant was that women should not hustle but depend solely on their husbands and when married...

Women has been doing that for ages but men will always be complaining that women dont hustle but be slaying up and down...

I mean not focusing on career n neglect marriage, it can be done hand in hand. She can make money in marriage. Some women neglect marriage n focus money for years n later look for marriage, it is dangerous for women.

I don't know where you see women should not hustle.... Take time to read

She is your lil sister..... Why can't you approach her to know what else she is doing to make money

Generally, it is not advisable for women to focus on money too much n neglect marriage thinking she can always find marriage later..... Such ideology can work for men n not women. It is good for women to locate marriage and start pursuing money with her husband than doing it alone. What op is saying happens virtually everywhere including Nigeria here. It is always tough for women to find love after making money.

There is age where parents dictate n age when parents guide/advice. Your parents are not expected to dictate for you any longer, they are just to guide n advice you. You are mature n you should be able to manage your life to a reasonable extent. If they disagree now, they will agree later after they sees that you have followed your heart, no parents reject their children completly. Just follow your heart

It is like you are still Okay with that your 17k cus I never know how a reasonable guy will be earning 17k n still care about what people will say if he opted to sell pepper. You better braze up and get sense for life. It is better to be mocked while making money than mocked as a broke nigga. Anyone who lives his/ her life base on what people says never get a life cus his/ her life belong to people. Get sense n get life

If you never marry n you think she can be a good wife, you can do proper findings about her and if you are satisfy with the information you gathered, you can go on to let her know your plans for her. You will have to restrict the public activities to a reasonable level in order to guide her against hatred n jealousy from others ( I mean you need maturity to handle it). Do your findings well before jumping into decision cus human are pretentious in nature.

I disagree with all those that said it is due to poverty.... To me it is contentment problem, we are not always satisfy with what we have and we lack capacity (mental wise) to build different stream of income. Go to airport n see how people that are collecting good salaries begs travellers. It is shameful

Your post suggest that been a good cook is a feature of a good wife. Anyone can become a good cook anytime, it shouldn't be a licence. If my fiance has other reasonable values, we can find ways to learn how to cook well later on n I can teach her if I am good at it.

I can marry her if she has other attributes I want in my woman.

Lol, you guys turn the thread to something else. It was educative going through but we still have to talk to op.
Many successful people smoke, though it depends on body system most of the time.
Just keep guiding your guy to maintain with what his system can carry in order to stop misbehaving. Stop complaining about it all the time, you can encourage him occasionally. If you can not cope, just leave cus it will be difficult to change him except he is ready.

Do not worry about it at all, it is a plus to you for now, just take the advantage of it now before the time woman matter will set in. Time is coming when you will start craving to have woman.
My advice is........ Use this time to discover yourself, discover your gifts, n talent or identify a field of interest then take the plenty time at your disposal Now to build them..... Woman will only distract you n take away your little savings if you are not strong emotionally. Face yourself n love yourself. Read good books on how to build self esteem n deal with fear too.

Franciscabless:
Ok thanks the first time I was naive , I did not protect myself but this time around am not and will be using protection because I don’t want the same mistakes to happen again. Am not using sex for him to accept me , I have no fear because I know if God has planned for me to get married with him or another man I know that I will get married and I don’t care about what people thinks or says but myself am ready for sex , is something I want to do with him but am not sure if it’s the right time or not

You should have rephrase the topic to.... Right time to have sex for a nursing mother. The way you construct your post made people to abuse you n give you wrong advice.


You can go on n have sex with him, wouldn't you give your husband sex suppose he is the one. Just make sure you do not get pregnant now.... You can use condom or withdrawer method.

Enjoy your social life dear.

infini771:
Individuals should not have oil wells. The country needs money to do a lot of things. Can you imagine the type of name these guys used to allocate oil wells to themselves, while they were in power.

Govt. Needs private individuals to operates base on agreement. Not everything govt can raise money to operate, they need to bring in private individuals and have terms n conditions.

Anytime money and early comfort is prioritise, there is tendency for a mysterious future. Who tells her that all the promises by the abroad man are not to lure her in. It might not turn well with abroad man cus a lot is involve; distance, she doesn't know his ulterior motives etc. I will advice her to talks to his fiance on her feelings about their relationship and if she could not see possibilities, she can find another guy. I wouldn't advice her to follow a shortcut or jump to opportunity...... opportunity kills sometimes