₦airaland Forum

psalmuelwater:
Isn't sex enough payback? Guys can aswell have sex with there sisters if it isn't much of big deal.

Good for you ma, olosho mentality. It will be better to parade yourself as olosho rather than girlfriend if sex is what you give in return in a relationship.

We all understand that business should remain business (Do not mix family with business) but many business owners plays around it when there is a need. The guy still help her in most of her bills, will the money she collected from the woman make her independent, will she not still go to ask for support from the guy again. she will get triple of the money back from the guy n still earn her to be inlaw's respect suppose she doesn't allow greediness. That's one way she would have appreciated what the guy has done so far but most women feels men does things for them because of sex, they mostly assumed they paid back with sex.

Calm down completely brother, just look for a lawyer and explain the nature of event to him/her, you will be guided through.
That is the mess we find ourselves in Nigeria, she is suppose to be invited and made to write statement and the police then Carry out investigation alongside autopsy, not unnecessary lockup.
Just calm down and get a lawyer who will guide you.
Good luck

Let me ask few questions;
1) What are you guys plan for future.
2) what is the direction of the relationship
3) how deep and ready is he to settle down with you in the nearest future
4) What do you guys normally discuss when it comes to real life issues.
I think a sincere answer to this questions should give you clues on why he behaves the way he is behaving because if I got a real lady who is serious about life and wanted to start up a business, I think I will support if I have the fund but it depends on how we have planned and agreed to live together forever. Maybe your guy is having some other plans.

Until Africans can rise up and make Africa desirable for people to aspire and live on, white will continue treating us like a slave. Africans tend to run away from their problem by leaving for America and other countries with no plans of using the resources they get fight for freedom and liberation from oppressive leaders that held the continent stagnant. You are addressed the way you address yourself. No one will respect someone with little or no value or contribution in his/her territory. Instead of fighting for white/black Equality, I think the fight should be on liberating Africa and Africans

No matter the help, do not allow anyone use you against your wish. God created us to lift one another at the point of need and the helper should not turn the opportunity into slavery and think he/she can use/calls you at will. It is not ingratitude if you decline evil errand from someone who had once helped you.

The idea of making money is good, but Nigerians are not ready to follow process. A young boy of 20 yrs wants to ride Benz. There is no where in the world where free money is made, it is a product of hard work but Nigerians want it easy and free. It is not youth alone, it includes the leaders, the only way many people make money in Nigeria is by cutting corners, there is no process. There is never a nation that can succeed with the kind ideology. Our leaders don't know how to make more money by using the little they got to establish businesses but instead they want to be in politics in order to steal more n more. Nigeria can not be great with our orientation.

In as much as I wouldn't support the man handling the issue by force, I will blame you for keeping your financial capacity secret to your husband. Respect and love in marriage covers many things including total openness, individual feel honored when their partner shows signs of trust in relationship. Your acts shows that you do not trust him and he is not happy with it. You should be able to reveal your financial capacity to him but not giving him free access except base on agreement. I will boldly tell you that you guys are at the verge of interior(internal) separation which might lead to total separation if care is not taken. From your write-up, you are very cool with what you have done but I think you need reorientation because it is marriage n not courtship anymore.

SultanOfAbia:
Solomon's downfall was not many women
Solomon downfall was allowing women control him and bring their idol gods to isreal.
If Solomon was not a simp or nice guy that allow the women to control him then he wouldn't have fallen.
When you have plenty women, you control them with discipline and all will be sweet don't allow them to control you. Once you allow them then you have lost the game.

Be talking like almighty God. Solomon has been acclaimed to be the wisest man on the planet earth up until now and he is still rated the fifth wealthiest man with net worth above $2 trillion (£1.42trn) in today's money. You think your own wisdom can control women pass that of Solomon.... Be deceiving yourself.

Mcslize:
The problem with finding a partner after making it in life is that you can't really discern the one that truly loves you. If you watch Gold Digger channels on YouTube, you will understand better.

It is God who gave real n genuine women n men to individual, no one can find them. We had many cases where one find woman before success and the woman turn something else at the long run. Do not be captured with such ideology, women take advantage of it. To avoid argument, hold on to your beliefs and I do same to mine.

Op, you are allowed to your opinion but generalising that all men are bound to cheat is totally wrong. The cause of Solomon downfall was many women(the throne was tore due to his frivolous lifestyle), there is no way you will manage them without offence. Solomon spent nearly all his time righting all his wrongs in Ecclesiastes but you never take time to read that. You can choose to be a wise man from the beginning n later a fool, it is a choice.

It is not necessary to have a serious relationship while pursuing your dream cus you can always find once you attain reasonable level in your hustle. Do not mind people saying you are a yahoo boy, they are living in old memory when you have to hustle forever before you can have small car. You can not convince everyone on what you are doing and you do not need, the only thing is that your conscience is clear.

I don't see any reason why U. S should be the one calling for his probe and not Africa, it is not a bad thing to probe but it should be done by the rightful owner. Let us wait and see Africans reactions after the whole scandal. Adeshina needs not fear if his hands are clean.

We don't owe anyone in this life, no one is entitled to our money except our immediate family. If God bless you enough to bless others, your parents can be included if they are in need. It is not suppose to look like a must but it is reasonable to take care of them especially when they are seriously in need.

I don't think it is bad, I am the type and I am okay with it, you only need to learn how to play around it. You need to learn how to be giving too, People will drain you when they sees that you are a free giver.

citytv:
if that's your picture u go die single

Why now?

God will not come down from heaven to tell you what is at stake guy, he is practically showing you the real deal. Maybe God purposefully allowed what happened between her and your mother cus she has been doing it to you privately and you never reacted. There are many things you don't act calm about cus it is likely to ruin you forever. Your mum did not react on the matter probably because you are taking care of your sister and also sending her money too, but I expected her to call you later n talk to you. You don't pity to marry cus the person will not pity you later on, she will never admit you pitied her. The good women are giving men headache talk of toxic one. Use your brain not to fall prey. Sex that covers up your Brain now will flee when the time comes.

Answer to your question...... Your husband is a yahoo guy, he is into dating part of the business, he talks to different white women lying to them that he will marry them then using the process to extort them. On Use of poor English, he uses poor English for his clients not to identify his origin or has lied to them that he could not afford good education( he can use that to get money from his clients by telling them he wants to enrol or he just enrolled for better education n he will be asking for support from them). Pertaining care n love, yahoo guys are one of the most caring guys ever because that is their profession, he must learn different ways to care n love for women in order to arrest the mind of his clients, he is only exercising his training and experiences over time.


My assumption;
He loves you and he is ready to settle down with you but it will be tough to leave business he is making money from like that.

My advice;
Never accuse him again, never behave like you are bothered or monitoring him. Relax and monitor him secretly until you get your fact , get all the facts you needed and then engage him in heart to heart chat( deep conversations that will radiate your love for him) and tell him your observations and show him evidences, let him know that you know that he is a yahoo boy but you want him turn a new live, let him know that you don't want it and you will be happy n love him forever if he can stop. I hope he will confess and promise to stop if he sees genuine love in your words and actions but if he insist you need to make him explain all those findings of yours.

Please, do not take any funny actions( e.g arrest him or shout at him) if he confess n promise to change........ You will need to join hands together and pray against the implications and then dive into a great/forever union.


I wish you a happy home

Tallesty1:
This is not new, this is exactly what happened in the garden of Eden. Satan got Eve pregnant and Adam got her pregnant at the same time.


Can is Satan's seed while Abel is Adam's seed.

You made my night...... Well-done

Please, make best investment out of your current income cus it will not go forever. Try all possible never to go broke again. I am not giving the advice because of your experience but I was just less to say those words. Pleas, struggle to invest n look for good ideas on how to increase your income.

Bestinstinct:
Can you please state how old you are? It might be a thing of age and you might outgrow it since you are now aware of it. We had so much in common but I outgrew mine. I can walk away from any situation not minding the consequences or effect on people. When I think aback, I just marvel at how virulent I was. It has its advantages though; I can never be emotionally blackmailed neither can a toxic person mess with my head. But in all, I am this very tall slim cute brilliant and cool guy but extremely emotionally empty. We are all work in progress sha.

You said it all, there is no need for all these grammar that people are using to confuse him. He never made himself and there is a reason for it. He will change gradually with time. Though, maybe he hyped it or his own is a bit more but all he mentioned are protective attribute at age he can't control things properly himself. At early age, if you are not very strong as a guy, women and some other things toils with your life/emotions but with the kind of op system one is covered until he understands life and can handle situations better. You have many of us who were like you. Continue your life and be ready to embrace change gradually.

It is a slavery mentality that our women inherited and they are not ready to do away with it. Anybody who provides for your needs will one way or the other boss you, he will want to control everything about your life but women never realize that as long as they can sit in one place watch movies from morning till night while they expect money for food, plait hair and makeup.... I am not disputing the fact that men needs to assist but not all time n it shouldn't be seen as entitlement.

You can learn from YouTube and make sure you are practicing what you learn everyday. The only difference is that the physical will give you the grace to practice what you learn but if you are determined to practice what you learn from YouTube, there is no problem.

Not everything will go through WHO, our parents takes good care of us before the existence of WHO. Do not glorify all modern inventions.

Zaronxpanol:
Thanks all for your comments.
On a serious note, I need a bible scholar or a religious leader to read my story and advise me in this scenario. Because it seems I am the one been painted as a black sheep. My ex-husband has an innocent face and he is good at gaining public sympathy and pretending.

Forget about been a branch manager madam. See it from the angle that people misbehave at some point n once they realize their mistakes and ready to change, we should be able to try and give a change. The only thing you need is to make few people realize the cause of separation and hear from your man a genuine repentance. You can not make everyone believes your side of the story. Take your man and reunite your home madam, your children needs that home again and once the man is truly sorry n apologize n ready to change, please reunite your home.

They came online for help because they believed it is bad n people encouraged them towards their believes. If your believe doesn't see anything bad about it, nobody will crucify you on that. Everyone is entitled to their believes.

If anyone can read or listen to those great men oop mentioned, you will never see any other thing again than success. The information from them are life drivers. They will teach you prudence, financial management and ignite the spirit of creating your own job n stop looking for job. I read rich dad poor dad like three times and the lesson from the book still push me today, I read billionaire next door and prudence became my watch word, I read power of positive thinking n my perspective towards issues became simple.... Books are power changer

Lol...... I will tell her to withdraw it. I will encourage her that I like her but not love. I have done it before, I am not just saying what I never experienced. Many people will take d advantage n dump her when they are done but I don't think it is the best way.

It is shallowness of mind n inadequate thought that make one generalise. If I look from experience because my sisters are always there physically whenever my age dad needed attention I will say female child are better but I still need to see it from financial and encouragement that we male do gave. I believe the two are very important. The best is two have the mixture but if God decided to give only female or male, no need feeling bad, anyone will fill the shoe.

People are just running from saying the truth, if the wife is private she wouldn't be uploading herself and kids too. She is probably an high taste woman Who could not able to marry the kind of man she envisage but still probably lying to her distance friends how handsome her man is which is opposite of what the man she married is. Suppose there was no reason, she would have told him with loving voice why she decided not to post his pictures. Many men who blames oop will do the same if it happens to be them. Op, just take it like that for now, she will adjust to the new reality later.

It is never possible to describe population with perfect description. I don't really think all this topics are necessary in the first place cus individual can only talk from their experiences which is base on few encounters.