₦airaland Forum

Madness doesn't have to be hereditary.

Even the way mental health issues are stigmatised, hardly any family will admit it.

Mental health issues probably affect 30% of Naija people (a friend thinks even 50%).

Poverty, unemployment, marital discord, loss/bereavement, illness, adversity, an uncaring govt/society, victim of crime etc all make people prone to mental health issues. And Naija has all these things in abundance.

Until somebody is stark naked on the street, we don't say they have mental health problems.

This is the reason why women should be hardworking and try to be decent.

Your husband will respect you if you have a more or less decent history.

bloggernaija: Obasanjo's diplomacy allowed a new wave of nigerians to get out of that shithole.
For that, I will be forever grateful.
I know that most of my childhood friends got out.
All are doing fine now and living the dream.
From canada,uk,USA all the way to Australia
By the way, India does not operate at Nigeria's level.
For example, there are more skilled Indian at my workplace than you find in a typical nigerian university.
They will probably play it safe because for any intelligent,well governed country(nigeria is not one),even the little of little opportunity matters.
But if it really gets down to it, Nigeria is expendable .

Expendable yet almost 1m Indians live in Naija. Indians have always been many in Naija. Back in the day I had them as teachers, our doctors in nearby hospital etc. Naija has been extremely welcoming to them. Despite our woes as a country, we hold our own well compared to Indians. I should know because I work with them. They also acknowledge that Naija got the skills.

As for Obj, his diplomacy achieved little considering amount of time he spent gallivanting abroad. It is all on record.
It is normal for travel opportunities to increase during democracy post brutal dictatorship a la Abacha.

I and most of my friends left home around halfway through IBB's regime. Trouble travelling only began during Abacha's regime.

[quote author=bloggernaija]

It's not a bad idea to invite your parents and siblings one weekend. You don't have to kill a ram or goat.

For me, it's more like celebrating completion of the project. Perhaps more relevant if it's your first house and you're just moving in.

A pastor's prayer is not bad either.

Don't forget there are millions not able to afford one. One has to be grateful.

You can see how uncouth so called leaders are.

He's just an angry midget. People just get angry when they have no more chance to siphon our oil money.

You had your time to eat/steal money Hellfire Rufai.

You can constructively lambast the govt without INSULTING the office of the president.

I doubt any of his fellow Aboki rulers for 38 years were any more competent.

Like a lot of people I have my grouse with this govt but he's still president.

Uncivil, immature and shameful.

@OP

Be careful about the opinions offered here.

When such a topic arises, it is very easy to allow tribal instincts take over.

People are using "insecurity" here very liberally. It must be a trendy word these days.

Your hubby learnt to speak Yoruba fluently so he cannot have anything against the language as such.

He fell in love with a fine yoruba lady and married her and in one fell swoop got Yoruba parents-inlaw plus Siblings-IL, so I doubt if he has anything against Yoruba people.

He lives in the SW and I guess he attends a few "owambe" thingz, so he's unlikely to be averse to local culture. It is illogical to stop his son learning what he learnt himself.

The question is what is he against?

My guess is this. Because he lives in the SW and speaks Yoruba, you may never have shown any genuine intesrest in his language and culture.

As a woman, you can use your enormous "soft power" to make your man feel more important and loved.

"Honey can you get me a book in Esan? I want to be able say some basic words so that I can talk to your elderly relatives".

"Darling, can you try to speak more Esan to junior now that he still young?"

"Sweetheart I am never gonna learn Esan if you don't speak it with me more".

"Dear when are we going to have that lovely Esan meal/dish again?"

Such proactive attitude can make him feel that his culture is not totally discounted. Moreover, you'd be shrewdly pushing the responsibility for fostering some Esan culture in the household to him.

It is an intertribal marriage. It can be absolutely fun if there's proper communication.

Having been in a few interracial relationships myself, little things (like Afam said) do matter.

Inspiring

Sacked just for blabbing? And Fahcrook "Hatfull Dollars" Lawan is still gallivanting? Chai, Naija don suffer.

Platinum digger noni!

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What about a room/suite for 5? Two adults and 3 kids? how much per night? When is check in and exit?

My friend and his family are coming to Lagos in December.

Extraordinaire

Madam speaker: abeg....who see my name for viewing list?.....i don search taya,i no see am

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Your name is right somewhere in the middle. Look again. Lol.

ledafaze: There goes my Presidential Candidate...

Looking at this issue, I think corruption has been in the days before the Britons tabled the independence on a platter of gold for Nigeria. It started way back in the 50s in the hands of the so called useless Festus Okotie-Eboh...

That guy and his cohorts in NCNC in late 50s laid this bad foundation and taking the worst turn is locating EFCC Lagos Office along Okotie-Eboh...

Gosh!

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You forget that Britain used Okotie-Eboh to undermine the principled Zik, groomed him for prime ministership, got UK companies in Naija to illegally fund NCNC via Okotie-Eboh. Once colonial master sponsored corruption, that was it.

But of all, IBB takes the biscuit for corruption. It became national policy during IBB's leadership. This is just a continuation under GEJ.

Let Buhari be honest.

OP, the fact is you never really knew your wife as you thought. You're not alone because most men don't.

I guess you were always the one with more earning power and main provider. Money is very difficult for many people to handle with humility, so your woman is no exception.

But it becomes difficult when another man (even if it is the pope) is doing business secretly with your own wife. Why would she trust another man more than you?

(1) Does she think you're envious of her income?
(2)The properties you have acquired are they in your name only or both of you?
(3) Is she the type who keeps all her money to herself and not even buy shoes for the kids?

If (1) is the case then she must believe telling you would fuel more envy.
If (2) is the case, then she must fear that God forbid if something happens to you, certain families do send their sister-in-law and kids packing. So why not build her own now that she can? Afterall even a good job can be lost one day. Insurance move.

If (3) then probably wants to conceal just how much she has.


Either way your marriage has been shaken badly. Trust is one of the most valuable commodities in marriage. I certainly would find it tough.

If there was a sinister motive behind the move, if may have been scuttled temporarily but not permanently. If there wasn't any, then all good.

Oh, nothing is really sorted DNAwise until you see the results koro koro.

And that the same country where they accuse naija people of crime? Blood of brother J!

Knowledge9000: You think they like your black face?

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He doesn't know anything. Even Indians here in the West that grow up with a mix of all people, how many date blacks?

One did her utmost to ensure her people didn't know about our close but platonic friendship.

b1327: if nigeria currency can be put back to normal or make it have a good value imagine u want to go hustle in india and u compare d currency value of india to nigeria currency when u see that the value of nigeria currency is x2 x3 of the country you are heading too to make money no body i mean no body we tell you to stay and hustle in nigeria.vise versa

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One reason why if I was the one selecting people destined for hell fire, IBB would get the hottest, reddest and most scorching part of hell! He destroyed the value of Naira and Nigeria never recovered from it.

By that singular act, he sent thousands to their early graves through poverty, some more into exile, more across the Sahara desert.

I remember when were small, we used to help our Indian neighbours take crates of Coke/Fanta/Sprite to our Auntie's store nearby. We would replace them and bring the drinks back to them.

We just saw them like guests in our Country. They were teachers at our school, docs and nurses in the University Hospital just minutes away.

When I told an Indian colleague about it here in Europe, he was surprised. He asked "Why would Indians also go to a third world country?". I told him time was when wages in Naija were about as good as in Singapore and many other countries now rated as developed.

The lesson is that we should accommodate foreigners in Naija BUT NEVER BECOME THEIR SLAVES. We should develop our country.

The world out there is not always a good place for Africans. Even more difficult for bold, loud and sometmes ostentatious ones like us.

A country that still operates a caste system and generally look at dark skin Indians as inferior, no surprise to see their racism.

They must be particularly angry to see Naija boys banging their girls.

ghananotnaija: Proud to be Ghanaian.

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From my experience even if Ghanaians are killed anywhere, his compatriots won't have the guts to come out and protest.

I have seen Ghanaians been maltreated at work in diaspora, Nigerians often feel offended seeing a fellow African maltreated and the Nigerian often speaks up. I nearly slapped one silly white man one day. Charlie, thank you my brother he later said.

Subservience is not something I would be proud of.

Poster, this is not April fool's day abeg.

The height of depravity if true.

nuelski10: ..so true..the judge is very daft..if this kinda thing was done in the US she would be looking at 25yrs in jail.

Judges have to follow guidelines.

Even some people facing manslaughter cases are given bail with little money, e.g. Ibinabo Fabresima who in drunken stupor recklessly mowed down a doctor with her car.

She's now head of Actors' Guild. Tell me how contr3 go better when both head and tail don rotten.

Nothing will happen to her. She get nyansh to open for a few people.

Ibori was an international thief and became governor.

To succeed in Naija terrain politically, economically it seems you have to be steeped in fraud techniques.

She's right on her way to the top.

From there she'll laughing at those of us trying to live an honest life.

wman: Where in my post did I say I know German 100% perfectly? Even the Germans themselves have problems with it as to the confusion on the gender of some words. Whether you believe me or not its not my business, I have nothing to gain by lying on Nairaland.

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You're doing well.

I'd like to disagree with Frostyzone on German being difficult to learn. German is a Germanic language like English, Dutch, Swedish, Norwegian etc. Your brother did well but it can be done faster. I did. Maybe as it wasn't my first foreign language, I had some advantage.

For somebody who learnt English from nursery or primary school, German is far easier to read and write than French. I found Italian grammar quite difficult, though the language sounds great.

In German, you basically pronounce what you see once you know the rules. Whereas French words have too many silent parts.

The difficult people face in German is mastering all the gender linked to nouns (feminine, masculine and neutre gender; BUT Italian, French, Spanish have 2 each) basically woman, man and baby.

German consonants can sound harsh but once you know how to pronounce W as V, V as F, S as Z, J as Y in English) you can build on it. German has only few "umlaut" , mostly "oe, ae, ue" equivalent that count. I have no German keyboard to write them properly.

Salut ma chere J4J!

Je suis la.

Generalement les anglophones ne savent pas vraiement l'importance de biliguisme ou bien multilinguisme.
Nous avons souvent l'impression que l'anglais est la lingua franca dans tout le monde entier mais c'est pas forcement le cas.

Chez nous au pay par exemple, les pays qui entourent le Nigeria sont francophones, sauf le Cameroun qui est partiellement anglophone.

Mais nous constatons rapidement que, cette impression est profondement fausse meme a la frontiere beninoise!

Chillisauce: Na wah! Broke niccas still dey lament for this topic ...

Chai! No be small o.

We know your like. You count everything in Naira and Kobo, Dollar and cents.

Many guys are not talking about money.

The woman who wanted me to be her child's father by force, I didn't give her a farthing. I didn't sleep with her either.
My help was different and so are lots of men.

Well we know that learning is not some people's forte.

Finally FP for Muyesky.

I found this thread very useful some months ago.

More grease.

So this very important thread is just making FP?

Has the mod just come back odyssey?

Chillisauce: Imagine Nigerian Men bashing the women.

Wonders shall never end.

https://yoursmiles.org/ksmile/lazycrazy/k32014.png

A case of pot calling kettle black.

Truth be told, the Nigerian society needs to pass through scientific cleansing.

Google " Nigerian Men are "......

Google "Nigerian women are" ...,.,

Tell me which is worse.

Tufiakwa!

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Men speaking hear are not talking based on biased or often racially motivated Google information. We are talking here from life experience.
The voice of the people is the voice of God.
If so many men have so much negative experience, resulting in overwhelming belief that our women:

(I) Are ungrateful
(2) Have a sense of entitlement
(3) Could pay you back in a bad coin
(4) Have no qualms leaving a dedicated guy for "greener pasture".
(5)Greedy
(6) Etc.

Considering that a lot of the guys saying this are still single, what is the future of Naija marriages?

You are free to open a thread about Naija guys.

[quote author=steve_cantrell]Then 20 years down the line , one of the kids is getting married and Dad swears he will have nothing to do with wedding if Mom is invited...then they will say some men are mean, unreasonable and heartless.[/quote].

LOL. Luckily the man is a good Christian. He has moved on. The female kids took side with their mum but the boys stayed with their dad. The female kids are now beginning to have marital woes (surprise, surprise) whereas the boys are highly educated with well-paying jobs.

Khalessi: If the guys on nairaland are indeed the voice of Nigerian men, I pity our ladies.

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It is and worse.

A very well-to-do guy trained his wife at uni, very generous and they had kids together. After becoming a professional she just came home one day and packed her stuff and left. Neither her own kids, family or in-laws could persuade her to stay.

She went to meet another man. Everyone was flabbergasted.

10 years down the line, the other man has long dumped her. She begged and begged to return to former hubby but rejected. Her life today is a miserable one. It could have been different though.

Some women behaved in the same way BUT now married to a rich politician so for them the end justifies the means.

ifebosco: l know is very disgusting, but you still have paternity test

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True but when you're using "church mind" to help your fellow human, you don't reckon with having to prove your innocence in the near future. Be it DNA test or whatever.

Don't forget how your wife or girlfriend will perceive the whole thing even if DNA test is negative.

So you were sha*gging that lady under the guise of helping her? Are you the only man in this world, why did she point finger at only you?

You know how simple women think about these things in their eternal suspicion.