₦airaland Forum

toykathy:
Birthdays :

1. Go Sung Hee

2. Lee Jae Won

3. Kim Ryeo Wook

Happy birthday to them.

Regex:
I'm beginning to think it's jealousy. They celebrate theirs at least 4x a year. Just this one day, they want to also take it.


They should also celebrate their mum on world AIDS day, in short every celebration should be about mum.


My mum was and is the best to ever happen to me, that I am not celebrating my dad doesn't mean I should celebrate her. It's like an insult to her.

@bold:

100%

Regex:
Being a mom is enough.

Well womanhood is never enough for them.

It must be super mom, independent woman, strong woman, boss lady.....

There must be some sort of adjective.

KimberlyWest:
I was once like you, screaming, "Leave Father's Day for Fathers," up and down. Now I know better.

Some of these kids grew up seeing their mother shoulder ALL responsibilities. Not because the man is not capable of doing it or the economy is not favourable, but because he just chose not to.

After seeing all of these, you expect them to get up on Father's Day and write epistle about how their father is an exemplary figure, okwaya?

If any child choose to celebrate his/her mother on Father's Day, then they have EVERY right to do that. They're not bitter, it's simply a reaction to someone's action. Some of them have more love to give than you can imagine.

Are all mothers perfect?

If no, do you see people calling their dads super moms on any of the numerous mother's days?

Well Igbo marriages as long as I remember featured large age gaps.

If both man & wife are fine with it, what is ya business?

Abi did the men of yore married to very young women complain about their home keeping skills?

angelfallz:
Ewo kpele. But why not?
horror is nice. the suspense, the anticipation, the expectation that you're about to be shocked

All other genres of movies give me enough anticipation and shock

I have an hyper active imagination that begins to play tricks when the movie is over.

See my part analysis of It is Okay not to be Okay; imagine thinking of a horror movie like that.

I watch movies the way I read books; it is not just a source of entertainment.

Ishilove:
Not only necklace. Ileke idi nko?

That one na side hen.

I will hopefully do the character analysis tomorrow.

CC: Rockstation and Captainhoo:

Let's go....

Done with 'It is Okay not to be Okay'.

The character building and development is awesome. I loved that they showed different types of 'not okay' as obviously, most of them were not okay so I just deal with the main characters. It reminds me of the saying "many are mad, few are roaming."

I remember a NLer asking what feminine and masculine energy was; the relationship between the FL and ML is a good lesson on what feminine and masculine energy are.

Caveat: Please pardon my spelling of the names.

Concepts I loved:
1. The polarity between the main couple: The ML was so masculine and the FL feminine .
ML aka Masculinity:
a. The ML normally asks for permission/consent before doing something; "Please, I want to move your bed now; please can I do XYZ?" With the FL, he just did (obviously what was best for her as he was smitten in love). e.g. When she was hyperventilating after someone harassed the ML's brother and he just put her hands crisscross on her shoulders, tapping them and told her to repeat it to calm herself; When he went to her room some days after he discovered she had nightmares and he just gave her the nightmare catcher doll and told her to hug/ hold it anytime she had nightmares. Teaching her to count to three to stay calm when she is worked up. I loved the scene when he told her to count to three when he was actually the one worked up and still kissed her after the counting. Do as I say not as I do

b. His support/protection/defense: When the FL was trying to gain his brother's acceptance and kept saying she was not part of their family while walking away. He quietly stood beside her (telling his brother he was with her) till the brother called her. When he low key threatened the Medical Director to resume the Fairy Tale Reading; hanging the picture they took together on the mother's memorial tree instead of the one with his mother and brother; going to pick her under the rain after hearing what her father did; when he punched the guy that slapped her. I agree with her that he was cool ; sending her off with her manager to face her mother alone; when he gently held her hand to signify taking over the discussion when his brother decided to work for other people. He rather died than kill her mother or let the FL kill her. He knew it would ruin them forever. When he helped her cut her hair well and told her she looked beautiful afterwards understanding what the hair cut meant. When he did a drill on opening the door for strangers; when he drove to her house when she was in danger while he was very sick.

c. Not pandering to her instead changing her with love. Her manager pandered till he became a caricature. The ML instead guided and changed her till she became someone the community could rally round to help/console or celebrate with. He wasn't the "this is the way we do it"; he was "baby, let me show you the way it should be done."

d. His reliability: When he decided to stick with the FL after she found out that her mother killed the ML's mother, the FL had the assurance she could rely on him. In her sweet words (her safety Pin); when he told her that he would do anything to protect his family. I loved he made love to her in the madness to tell her they are together till the very end (we we understand how romance is used in k-drama ).

e. His courage: his decision to be vulnerable to her and tell her his needs and dreams. Something tells me he would still win the onsite schooling argument (with bodyguards sha ). The FL clearly doesn't share His humility in asking others for help (her manager to look after her, his landlady & crew to feed her; when he was following her around in the hospital screaming he loves her so she would stop pushing him & his brother away. He realized he needed help and booked an appointment with the director.

f. His confidence: Bobo was confident in himself hence not threatened by her success or the fact he was poor and she was very rich. He had no qualms living in her house, cooking, cleaning up, using her car when she offered, looking forward to her sponsoring him in school etc.

g. Romance/ passion: Baba was romantic! and baby girl literally made him come alive and excited him. The scene when his brother realized he was happy for the first time and drew his face.

h. I loved he asked the medical director what overdressing meant and when he understood, he proved to her over and over that he would protect her till she started shedding layers of her dressing still she was ok.

i. He was respectful.


FL// Femininity:
She was very very feminine with the ML. She saw him as her man and treated him as such. Examples:
a. The way she resolved issues with him and his brother: She never used brute force (position, money, influence, physical force {she was very good with her fists}) with them. Our baby girl could crush the brother in one blow yet she always related with them in her feminine. I loved the pillow fight with the brother when they were fighting for Mang-Tea (the nightmare doll); when she realized that they needed the brother's approval, how she sought to get it: following them to the restaurant and asking the older brother to pay for her meal (she can literally buy the ML & his family if they were on sale) and asking for allowance; her fist fight with her friend etc. When the brother said she was not in their family register and she told him that a family portrait was more important and convinced them to get one.

b. Her acceptance/ reception of him: She accepted all of him: his brother (she should a masterclass on how to relate with in-laws , his weaknesses, his humble background, his friends, his gifts, his job, his lack of education (although dude was super intelligent) etc. She was never ashamed of him and content with whatever gifts (food, experience, flowers, accommodation, advise, romance) he could afford (although baby girl complained he was stingy when he did not buy a side dish eh eh )

c. She was just his woman: Not the best fairy tale writer; not the richest woman; not the most beautiful; not the princess bla bla. Just his woman. It was a place of learning and growth for her however she grew from the woman who was willing to sleep with him to silence him to the woman who seduced him to do so.

d. She was fun for him obviously; I liked when she teases him and he gets worked up (she has enough EI to know that he likes her teasing him). e.g. when she removed his cap in a scene and told her to stop covering his handsome face; when she cajoled him to go on a trip with her; when she ruffled his hair that he was just a little boy looking for love; when they were on the trip and she was playing with him in the room. Interestingly, she was no fun on her own. She was also his warmth.

e. She was sensitive: When he wanted to go on a walk on the bridge and she said no; the moment he said he couldn't do it with his brother, she suddenly saw it as fun; she knew the Assemblyman's son needed an outlet and 'kidnapped him'; she knew the ML's brother meant a lot to him and she got along with him so well that they became friends (according to him, they are both alike ). When she found out that her mother killed the ML's mom and realized he was also suffering. In her words, she did not want to become a source of pain to him.

f. when required, she deferred/listened/submitted to him and his brother; when the brother told her to greet someone because she was older ; the brother also told her to stop swearing; When the ML talked about her clothes when they were going camping, whenever she had a 'fight' with the brother; when he held her back from killing her mother; when she wanted to stop writing; when she her clothes etc. when the brother was feeding her porridge and pestered her till she looked at his drawing.

g. One of my fave scenes was when the brother was cussing out the ML in the hospital about the river episode and the ML was just bunched up, embarrassed and sobbing. She just stood there and wept from the depth of her soul. When she waited quietly with him I actually thought that would be the catalyst for her to go all out to crush the brother and have the ML to herself. I was pleasantly shocked she took it as a challenge to win him over. I was like 'girl has grown.'

h. She was respectful even as the brother's boss


2. No Faux Respect: It pisses me off when I see non-emotionally intelligent displays pushed as respect. When you are with someone long enough, you should know when the 'leave me is please hold me tighter' and 'I hate you is really I love you.' Someone in pain or ashamed to face you because of something tells you leave them alone and you do under the guise of 'respecting their choices'. Luckily, there were no instances I noticed. The FL knew the ML needed to unwind and did everything to make he do so; the ML knew the FL really did not want to stay alone after her mother's ish and stubbornly refused to move out of her house. Sang-Tea (the Autistic brother) also had a winning formula (over his dead body eh eh).

3. The sequence of events: I loved that the discussion with her mother about the future of her relationship with the ML happened after he made love to her; I am sure that was part of what boosted her confidence to her mother. The part where she told her mother she will never understand what warmth is I was like "I know right ". We know that in K-drama, kisses mean ride or die and sex means we die here forever. I was intrigued when she offered him sex for his silence about the event at the hospital in the beginning. I later understood that was her way of telling him she still wanted/liked/remembered him. If the ML was like our resident NL guys, he would have had one time sex and lost out on the relationship of a lifetime.

4. Romantic pairing: On the surface, the ML seems better suited with the 2nd female lead. This reminds me of a Relationship Therapist I stumbled across; her IG handle is TalktoSpirit. She postulated/said a concept in relationship where people hide themselves and project a persona to protect themselves or deal with the world. A lover now sees the persona, falls in love and wonders why their partner is not content with them, appreciative, or responding the way they expect. The 2nd FL needed a man she could rely on (cue the ML who is Union Bank; Big, Strong, Reliable). Unfortunately, that is just his persona and the real him (which the FL gets on a kentro level) needs a woman he can rely on as she is relying on him. He is a man and not a superman and needed to be loved, pampered and taken care of. Also the FL on the outside is a woman who likes to be in control, alone, not relying on anyone while inside she is willing to be led in love, have her personal person she can rely on which the ML gets on a kentro level The 2nd FL could never handle the ML while we saw the disaster of a relationship between the 2nd ML and the FL. For instance, the 2nd FL started falling for the ML when he told her she could take out her frustration on him and she slapped him. Contrast with the FL during the first knife meeting; the ML was wrapping the knife as evidence without caring for his hand so the FL tosses the knife and used the cloth to bandage his hand. If he ever offered the FL to take out her frustration on him, she knows he is just saying it and never would.

5. Types of not okayness: I loved that they showcased different types of not okayness; from the anti-social FL to protect herself to the subservient, emotionally stunted, need to be needed ML to the 2nd FL projecting strength to hide she needs someone to rely on to the 2nd ML pandering to the FL even though he likes to be in charge (compare and contrast how he treats all others around him) to the Friend's (3rd ML) need for belonging. They also showcased three types of bad mothers/parenting under the guise of love/disability (the nudist, the FL and the ML). I don't even understand the 3rd FL's brand of madness. Her own na custom made.

Whew! Apostle according to saint bukatyne

Funny thread.

A cheating husband wants to eat his cake and have it. If the wife is not good for his fantasies anymore, he should move to the side chic.

The above statement is anyways too serious for a thread that is already catching cruise.

You guys should keep it up:

Wife is crown of glory, side chic is necklace

Juicypamela:
Hi everyone I just want to wish my mum a happy Father's day for taking the bravest responsibility of taking care of us single handedly an enforcing the dual parenting in us
I Love you Mum
Happy Father's day to you an to all Amazing DAD(mum)

Tragic.

God bless your mum.

A super mom does not equal a dad.

The best your mom can be is a super mom.

pocohantas:
I made a diary post the other day. When you spend all your time as a single mother taking shots at your ex, you won’t have the grace to move on. No man would even want to move on with you.

Apart from having enough days to celebrate women, I think it reduces the quality of a woman to attribute manly qualities or titles to herself.

A mother is strong, a queen is strong and the vagina is one of the strongest creation. When you refer to yourself as a KING, it means you subconsciously think being a queen isn’t good enough.

I would never refer to myself as a king or a father. I even take it as a backhanded compliment when people tell me I drive like a man or comment like one. I don’t reply or rate such compliments. I am a woman with a vagina and that remains it till the end of time.

T for thanks

Hopefully, this golden message (especially the bold) would be understood in time.

Being a woman is enough!

When you add 'strong', 'independent', 'boss' bla bla bla, you are unconsciously saying that the state of womanhood is deficient so you need to add other qualities to 'measure up'.

Ishilove:
Really sad. I will celebrate the fathers in my life everyday because the day reserved for them has already been hijacked

Good one.

We ought to celebrate the people in our lives as often as possible.

angelfallz:
Lol, I was hoping you could tell me if it was interesting. Its a horror movie. you can check out the plot below

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Train_to_Busan

I don't do horror mbok.

angelfallz:
Have you watched train to Busan?

No, what is it about?

Today is also World Refugee Day so the fathers don't have a full day to themselves.

Sad.

efficiencie:
Husband cannot groom his wife, wife is totally unyielding and lacks submission...madam you clearly want to be the husband. You might as well just do reconstructive surgery and identify as a man! As for your man he is struggling with grooming you right and pointing out your wrongs in a more constructive manner...both of you need to go and study what it means to be husband and wife according to the standards of your faith. Doing a wedding does not automatically make you husband and wife, you actually have to understand, appreciate and play the roles required of husbands and wives!

@bold:

Is it okay for a husband to be rude and uncouth to his wife?

kangminhyuksho:
Game time

BYUN YO HAN

1. The first drama you saw him in

2. The most recent drama you saw him in

3. Your favorite drama of his

4. Your favorite character he's played

5. Your favorite drama otp involving him

6. Favorite line/quote he has said in a drama (optional)

7. A character you'd like to see him play

8. A person you'd like to see him paired with in a drama (or in real life lol)

I have only seen him in Mr. Sunshine.

Mandela27:
woman no dey dash woman money!

I see this a lot on NL and I am amazed.

It must be you guys circle.

Lol @ cut soap.

I get cash gifts from friends and well wishers.

I hope these friends and well wishers are not men sha

How do parents collect money from non-earning schooling kids though?

pocohantas:
- Not working
- Still schooling.
- Sending mom something.

How? You send her from the one she sends to you or from the one someone else sends?

You might need to cut soap for your fellow Nigerian students.

Happy Father's day to all fathers and potential fathers; may God continually give you the wisdom, strength, resources and legacies to be daddies to your children (biological and non-biological).

Amen.

Romanoff:
An idle man is indeed the devil's workshop.

A jobful man don't get girls preggers?

Low budget yahoo boy abi Ifa Priest apprentice?

pocohantas:
But it is annoying the way Nigerian men behave. A woman you have been married to since 2009. Even if her money isn’t inside, if she didn’t make the home conducive, you can’t do well at work. It is painful watching the man of your youth go about impregnating strange women while your life is on hold for the kids. It is more painful that the woman would still be blamed for the failed marriage. Let’s be fair to our spouses please- male and female alike.

You don’t want to marry again? Fine. Treat them with respect and fairness. At some point they had your back and if they wanted you dead, you’ll be long gone.

@bold:

On point.

The paragraph should be modified to:

You cannot bring a good Nigerian man down; no one can curse whom the Nigerian God had blessed.

P.S.: Can someone explain why people don't embrace show not tell?

Why would I tell you I want to deal with you when I can just deal with you?

It is cool in movies to let us know the back story but real life, na.

Now BoBo knows the wife's next moves.

Goodluck to you both jare.

frozen70:
Just forgive him and move on but he will cheat again because he derives fun in cheating

Na wa for you.

Are you fuelling the fire?

Taniaa:
Ah maybe you have stubborn hair? Mine is usually fine after three days

Lucky you o!

My hair is thick and scalp very sensitive.

I had respite after a week.

Regex:
I'm thinking she somehow somewhere offended the hair stylist.

This is the kinda I mistakenly stepped on your shoe and didn't notice and neither did I apologize for it. Then I come to your shop and you deal with me.


Nothing personal...

No, the beginning of the hair is whipped with the attachment (very tightly) before braiding or twisting it.

Taniaa:
She would be fine after three days

Only females would understand this

Three days would not solve the pain of this particular style.

Omo, this style is very very very very painful.

I did it only once

Losing it would even induce more pain except she wants to cut the whole hair off like a friend

Panadol + not attempting to re-style + sleeping on soft pillows/towels propped on pillows should provide a bit of relief.

Also, the lighter the braids, the more bearable the style is.

Rocktation:
Your life will never remain the same. Just do, with an open mind.

I may have faltered at one point, while following Google's suggestion, which is why I reverted to following direct human-human recommendation. But it's certainly not like google can't hit it right, sometimes.
And to think that Hollywood has ran out of originality, making the whole world imagine that movie as an art is dead and buried. It's quite funny, really. Now, they're recruiting Koreans, with their last breath to revive their industry. People like me, may have jumped ship forever.

I sincerely hope the Korean industry keep it clean and not get tainted with Hollywood's virus. The storylines, polarity between male & female, the beauty (the actors&actresses really take effort to look their best), the engagement of the mind, the way they let romantic relationship develop, the restraint they teach etc. Awesome.

K-drama (the good stuff not romcom fluff) gets you to think because they somehow know how to capture normal human interaction.

Just how you read books and it opens your mind or simplifies something you know, movies do same.

I am itching to do a review of It's ok not to be okay when I am done (currently on episode 13).

That drama is enough thesis for human relationship (sexual and non-sexual).

Almost all of them in that drama are not ok.