₦airaland Forum

Congratulations new husband. God will continually give you and your wife wisdom to build your home.

As your testimony is sweet in the beginning, it will be sweet all round and when challenges of life comes (not bad behaviors like cheating or abuse), God will keep you both strong to navigate it as a
team.

Guilty free sex is dope o jare.

Amen.

I love stories like this.

Depopulating the camp of 'Nigerian' marriages one marriage at a time.

I think a lot of people should read His needs, Her needs.

A very great book for marriage.

The reason a lot of spouses do not change is because the other party is directly/indirectly encouraging their bad behavior.

A man is cheating, you tell the wife to look good, up her prayer game, be better in bed (with protection), be cheerful bla bla and wonder why the average cheating husband would not change.

A wife denies the husband sex and you advise take her out more, date her, do more chores bla bla and wonder why she doesn't change.

An average cheating spouse wants 100% (the 80% you are offering) + (the 20% the lover 'seems' to offer).

When you continue to up that 80%, the cheat is getting the best of both worlds: a wife trying to win him back and a lover trying to displace you/ tickle his fancy.

This is where knowing your leverage comes in.

You withdraw the extras that make up the 80% till that person changes (if you are not inclined to walk out of the marriage).

You don't give a child throwing tantrums more candy nor do you reward the laziest student with accolades else you teach them that to get more candy or accolades, misbehave.

Even God we serve loves everyone (sun and rain shines on everyone) however He has special packages for special people. You will work to retain that special package and when you do wrong, acknowledge and go back to Him.

What should you do for adultery?

First introspection: did you contribute to his adultery? What was the circumstance?

What do you want to do? Second chance? 100th chance? Walk? Cheat back?

Whatever you decide to do, please leave your kids out of it. Don't pour the affection meant for your husband to your kids.... They are designed to be independent and fly out of the nest in due time. Don't pour your life into your kids especially sons and become the third wheel when they get married.

You are to face your husband and you both bring up your kids.

If you cannot face your husband, Biko face yourself.

Unnerve:
You are a wicked man.

Do you know the kind of sexual torment your sister-in-law is passing through every time she hears you and your wife moaning?
I'm very sure she's gotten so wet so many times that it's now feeling like a dam down there.

You're a very wicked man

Funny but true.

Can the sister not get another place to stay?

What does she do? What is her life plan? How sustainable is a 30 years old staying with her married younger sister in one room? I am also assuming the marriage is young?

How big is the room that you guys are comfortable having sex regularly with someone at the foot of the bed? If the room is so big, can you explore partitioning the bed area with a curtain?

So many questions.

Righteousness89:
My Beloved Sister, Two Wrongs don't make a Right!

If you wanna Make Him feel so Bad , Show Him Extra Ordinary care and Love.

Let Him know that you are aware of what He is doing but Don't React! Show him Love.

His Conscience will Prick him . He will come to Respect you

squash47:
1. Just keep praying so that he will marry that lady he is cheating with so dat he will stop going outside.

2. Pretend as if u don't know that he is cheating on u. Sometimes, to be happy in life, u have to condition ur mind to accept that everything is alright..

It may surprise you to know that if you report him to anyone or confront him physically, everyone will blame you because in African marriage,a cheating husband is not committing any crime (except he is not taking care of his family very well...then, it becomes a crime.)


What is a sin or crime is for the woman to cheat. It's an abomination for a married woman to cheat on her husband.

My advice is for u to stop suspecting or monitoring anything. Just accept the man the way he is. And focus more on ur children.

Most of our fathers cheated on our mothers yet, our mothers married them for more than 20+ years.

I'm sure your marriage is not upto 20 years. If not, u for don get experience and get used to living with it.



Finally, a husband that cheat is better than d one that will use u and do money ritual.


There are men who use their wives to do money ritual in some part of this country.

The above posts are what you get when a goat asks a yam how to eat a yam well.

Keep it coming.

AfroKnight:
Lol. But are you smoking, really? Even tobacco companies warn against smoking.

Enjoy.

So glad I watched the video.

God bless the story teller who brought it to the public.

The woman has an awesome smile that is contagious.

I hope they find help especially educationwise for the kids.

The father is obviously influenced by his family and the 2nd child with blue eyes nailed the coffin.

It shows how unreliable and unfit he is to be a husband. Simply put, he is useless like P in psychology.

He saw her blue eyes before marriage and should have known there is a possibility to birth kids with blue eyes and be prepared for it.

Like they say, count the cost before embarking on a project /journey.

Unnerve:
Hot damn.

Mehn nothing trumps a good education with a little bit of exposure.
Her husband is a tortoise, a good for nothing jungle tortoise.

Just take a look at how beautiful this woman is, her smile, her lips, and then those eyes... something which exposed city girls are using all the makeup they can find, in a bid to look half as good as she does so effortlessly.

I can't get over how beautiful she is, lawwd

Ha!

CzarChris:
Some people's illiteracy is something else. Just take a look at this pretty lady with extremely beautiful eyes.

Heaven knows I'd give an arm and a leg to marry a lady this beautiful.

She is now single

OP beat up his ex-fiancée
ex-fiancée up his niece

Are we seeing a pattern of the 'strong' beating/bullying the 'weaker'.

Perhaps the world has been looking at the issue of domestic violence in silos.

It is really the stronger picking on/bullying/beating the weaker in a domestic setting.

ecolime:
Survival Instinct

Very thoughtful and creative

True.

Investigation should be carried out and if true, mete same punishment to all the parties involved.

dominique:
Yes she deserves to be angry but going as far as threatening to murder his wife and kids is not ok. She has to be called to order before she ruins her life in the name of exerting revenge. A woman like herself is sitting on death row after she killed her lover's son.

If we look at this matter critically, this woman probably knew the man was married. I'm 90% certain of this. They always play the "I didn't know he was married" victim card after they get dumped. She stupidly dated a man without doing any background research on him and agreed to abort pregnancies for him now she's crying victim. Whatever did the innocent wife and kids do to her that she wants to take them down? Try this with me and I'll personally see that you die in jail

@bold:

Apt!

There is a way the women involved have been handled in the past.

He should face same.

Jossyfine:
Good afternoon Everyone,
(For mature minds only)
I seriously need a spouse for my elder sister preferably a widower. She just clocked 40 and seriously wants to have her own family cos she feels age is no longer on her side and feels bad when ever I come around with my kids.

She is seriously against having kids out side wedlock, I believe we have goldly men here that are either widowed or know some one that sincerely wants a mature woman.

If any is interested kindly send me an email.

Shalom

If this story is true, don't you think your church/mosque and /or relatives would be a better and safer route?

Kennedyiheme02:
i cant count how many women throw themselves at me luke parasites hoping i get them pregnant

You are missing the point.

There is a difference between women who think you are their spec chasing you vs you hunting for a woman who is your spec.

Kennedyiheme02:
lol no one really cares about a 40 year old unmarried man... because people no men do not hit the wall.. as men age they look younger and stronger, so let me ask you a question.. a 30 year old and and a 30 year old woman..both unmarried, who do you think is more desperate?.. lol do you know how many women have tried to carjole me into marrying them?.. even lieing about being pregnant?

Have you ever heard were men search for wives for 4 years?, see as a man i can marry next week if i wanted to, marriage is a thing i can get anytime i want... you know why?, because I'm a man who can get wifey duties by paying a maid to do them for me.... my money can actually get me a maid to take those wife responsibilities...

But as a woman you cant buy a husband.. lol can you buy some one that will take care of you and provide for your family?.. can you buy a rich responsible man?... i dont think so..

So you see why women are single, and its a priviledge and gift you get a man who wants to make you his wife.... you know it but your ego ;Dis too big to admit the truth..

So how do you get to be priviledged to be married into a home as a wife and throw that opportunity away?.. do you know there are thousands of women standing in line ready to take your place... even wipe your hubbies ass everyday?...

You can get a wife in two weeks?

Start searching first.

Yes.

Also if your members contribute more than their standard of living.

goshen26:
Well, the slavery nature is the reason why our mothers remain in their marriage till now while equality in marriage is why we have many broken homes these days


I helped my wife wella ; I do laundry, I cook once in a while, I even help bath our one year old baby, but that does not say I am not her head

What does headship mean to you?

Karlifate:
Marriage is supposed to be a union where the responsibilities are complementary & the respect, reciprocal.
But modern day gents & ladies have twisted everything inorder to satisfy their own selfish desires.

100%

LadySarah:
My bestie is suffering it right now. She's on Nl sef. The once bubbly lady has become a shadow of herself.
But I warned her. When she'd tell me how her husband would praise her and tell her she doesn't behave like a last born. I told her to tone down cos later she will suffer it.
3 kids down the line she has been shedding tears s each time she calls me.Oga can't lift his boxer shorts from the floor to save his life. Won't even go to fill the gas cylinder with his caroo while his wife will be jumping kekec with 12.5kg cylinder,or minor repairs at home. Just drop money and face front. Fresh food tinz.

Me I will just say sorry. E no concern me.

I like this perspective.

Imagine your friend opens a thread on NL and we start saying 'her husband is wicked' Yada yada instead of looking for solutions/workaround (if any).

Which is why I am ALWAYS Team 'how did they start'?

Oracleforce:
If you are homeless....go to any nearest police station and report yourselves there...police are Our friends....they will accommodate you to the length of days or years you want to stay in the police station...

Pls, stop setting traps for innocent citizens...

Police Station ke?

truthsayer009:
Actually you are right, I was in this exact scenario last year & the girl in question was beautiful, infact they had already given her my WhatsApp contact & only for her to message me & she was waiting for a go ahead. My useless friend who gave her my number kept telling me it's an opportunity for free knacks and it could even lead me to something parmanent.

My mind was in tormoil for a week lol. Would I enjoy the free knacks? YES. But mehn this kain thing go hook me for throat abeg!

Or then it will be wickedness of the highest order to now chase her out after enjoying the knacking for months & after practicing diff styles

So mehn, what you won't eat, it's better not to taste it oooh

Very solid principle.

I think it works better when the two people are open for a relationship/marriage.

Munzy14:
Nice questions...That man is observing her without her being aware..A man cannot wake up and suddenly want her password.


The hubby is insecure , but OP is on a game..which one is private mstchwww..Even genuine people doing ordinary dating have access to each others SM accounts, not to talk of a life time union.

Hopefully, they sought out their problems.

Ishilove:
I really thought she was going to walk the distance. I guess her's was just 15 minutes.

Distance ke?

Her only leverage was the 'goodwill of the people' which quickly switches to the next thing.

CsRockefeller:
True. Many women have found their spouse just like that. She sounds like a responsible and hardworking lady.

Nothing fancy about struggling all the time, if you see a green pasture, spread your mat and lay there (as long as the guy in question isn't taken).

I see these things happen.

But we are online so it is well.

truthsayer009:
Wait what To become the madame of the house? Ahhh Aye le oh. So that's free knacking till Oga decides to upgrade her from Entangled House occupier to Wife.

Na real 'free knacking'.

Oga is accommodating her, not so?

A number of common law marriages aka cohabitation are borne out of this.

Unnerve:
Short simple response, but with a mountain of meaning.

I an waiting for sassysure's new moniker.

Ishilove:
I wonder where she is today.

Some people predicted this outcome. No substance, all rave of the moment fluff.

As usual, they were seen as bad belle.

Ishilove:
You are finding 'their' trouble

The thread has reached FP sef.

Stories like this are so annoying and such responses even more so.

I bet if she was his mistress, she would always be in the mood: make a honest woman of her and she 'suddenly' stops being in the 'mood'.

Let's assume Oga is a one minute man or not satisfying her or whatever: As she discussed with him? Show him what she wants? Tell him what she wants to change? Shared materials with him?

If he is not listening, has she demonstrated to him?

If he is too big/fat/has body odour or whatever, as she tried to correct it?

If she is truly tired, as she looked at her schedule and arranged it? Has she drafted her husband in to say 'babe, I want to make love to boy however XYZ zaps my energy so I need you to pick it up?' or get help?

Mbanu, it is 'it is her body' and if you check well, she married in the church.

It is a state of mind: if his wife has not recognized that it is her responsibility to sexually satisfy /relief her husband, she would not be fazed about their sexual life. And as long as the husband keeps doing all that he is doing, she will continue to eat her cake and have it.

This is where I think a tiny bit of healthy 'fear' or dread comes in (according to the red pullers). If you do not think your misendeavour has a repercussion, you wi keep doing Lau lau.

If you know your husband /wife would treat your fuckup if you pass a line, you would not.

Happy Sunday.

WILLuKPquiet:
Yes Naw. But not him alone, the wife takes the bigger blame.

You know the sad thing?

The man might be going to his side chic's house and have an accident and dies. He is going to hell.

The madam that started the whole issue would now repent and God would accept her with open arms.

I refuse to let anyone push me o jare.

Righteousness89:


My Brother, the point you raised is true! But we can't do wrong because someone Misbehaves!

Marriage has its up and Down! That's why we Advice people to Genuinely seek God's Face before going into it..

For me, by God's Grace, I have a goal. My Goal is to Make Heaven ! I am ready to ignore anyone or anything that tries to stand on my path!

He Needs Solution! Solution is not in Adultery!

I would even advise separation rather than adultery that moves the problem from the woman to the man.

WILLuKPquiet:
Bro. I am one of those who love you posts. But do you want to know the truth?

Such a behavior is common among so called Christian women. They starve their husbands of sex and still maintain that he can not go out to have sex because the bible says one man one wife. And that a Christian husband must not have side chicks.

They make their husbands cry at home and off they go to church to be raising up "holy hands" dancing shamelessly in front of the altar.

Many men come to church every Sunday with heavy hearts pretending all is well. Because Its a shame to complain "my wife denies me sex" so they suffer in silence and still having fear of not wanting to sin.

When the Bible says any man who can not hold himself should go and get married. They have gotten married but the fake daughters of God are denying them sex. Complaining every day. Some would even ask you "Na food?"

Any Christian lady with such an evil attitude reading this should know that, if the man eventually goes out to have sex or has a side chick, the man and the woman would bear the consequences both spiritually and health wise.

You are the cause of your own undoing and you can't escape the judgement from God. If you like, make the church your bedroom. And go to your G.O or Papa for prayers every day. Aside the punishment from God for pushing your husband into immorality, you even stand the chance of contacting Aids. And it is not the fault of the man. You contact Aids you contact it for fun.

Although, pushed into immorality by the wife, the man also might be punished by God. (might)

The Moslem lady knows her religion supports polygamy so, she behaves herself because sex denial or not the husband can decide to have another wife anytime he dims it fit.

Christian women, "my husband dares not" Yinmu.

You are deceiving yourselves. He will have side chicks and you will both suffer for it.

Nonsense and ingredients.

Minor edits:

The husband would be punished for the adultery