₦airaland Forum

deebrain:
Not really.

Most RESPONSIBLE women (note the capitalized) are looking for responsible men. A man driven with their respective goals. Practical goals. And are on it 24/7.

Most guys of today have ZERO goals. Save of course, their desire to be Marlians.

Why evils?

Acmepreneur:
Lol, funny guy. Yes, my ambition is on him because I love him. In my family, wives are very important in making husband's grow, my dad won't be where he is today if not my mum, some people need the push.
I as well do not appreciate wives with husband that is not progressing, we tell our women to be a pusher

I didn't read all your story, I stopped when I you started listing some points.

This post caught my attention.

If you know your quality, don't settle for someone who lacks drive.

You will be freaking frustrated.

Also learn to push with love and action.

Ask your guy what he really wants to do.

If nothing concrete, cut him lose.

beeevan:
My relative is a single mum of two and she recently got married to a never married young man. I personally will have no business with a single dad.

You never fail to crack me up.

Where are you?

Dyt:
Self entitlements

Issssokk bruh
Do have an average evening

Average evening kwa?

[quote author=Lsofdk post=89807756][/quote]You are missing

IAmMysterious:
No mind (some of) them (Atheists)...

I know one Atheist too that calls "God!" in exclamation...

I've even once heard him say "Good God!"...

Abeg, what's the definition of Atheism again

Good God!

Nice one.

There are more flattering pictures of these peeps than the ones on the cover.

ariefadenco:
People who are toxic or abusive stricto sensu are usually very manipulative. Many of such persons are selfless. The material benefits the sufferer derives in such relationship makes it difficult for them to leave. It takes lots of courage to leave a toxic relationship. No one is 100% toxic, they have lots of good attribute to complement their toxicity which makes the sufferer subtly fall in love with them.

If you want to control a person, be nice to him and make him believe he cant survive without you.

True.

Dyt:
I didn't get it
I was thinking of the old fashioned match making thing

I guessed as much which was why I broke it down:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hookup_culture

WiLdFLame:
Our women has been so influenced to think the western idea of relationship is good yet they fail to see how the western society has failed , rampant divorce left and right. They say they are happy but it’s all facade of the bitter depth but sadly they propagate this on and on hence the western society is a failed state.

Our women get tempted to recreate the western shit while the westerners envies our society. Who told you your mom who endure her marriage is not happy. Endurance is a virtue

@bold:

Dyt:
Maybe that was even the best

By now I would have probably had 5 kids
Stay home
Stay happy

Come to think of it, I haven't really read/heard of abuse during those times..

Did it not happen?
Then how do these generation of men/women get to that stage?

Hookup culture as in people having sex without commitment; one night stands and all sorts.

I am sure there was abuse then, it wasn't just widely known due to lack of mass media.

And the people now are too fickle, can't bond properly with a spouse because their souls are fragmented in 1,000 men or women.

mrblessed:
Since the discuss is on women and their pigheaded resolve to remain in an abuse marriage, I didn't see where your point contradicts mine. If anything, it corroborates my views on the high expectations demanded from women. Yes, marriage seems to confer some semblance of "respect" to men, but it is women that are routinely stigmatised or taunted for failing to meet these expectations.

Women make up about 50% of the society.

It is impossible to stigmatize 50% of the society if they vehemently refuse something.

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How do you guys do this on someone's thread?

Dyt:
Well
The world is changing
There are still thousands that appreciate the true beauty of a woman even when our gender has made sex really cheap

Phew

Basically before the hook up culture

Dyt:
Like a flower fully bloomed in the summertime
You are ready to be watered by this conversation
You are ready
I am in awe cos you shine like the sun
Let me be the one to enjoy you

This song I have it on repeat:
Let me be the one to enjoy you.....

Dude knew there is a certain sweetness and warmth in a woman's body

Now turn around and bless me with your beauty

Chai!

Dyt:
How I love this song
Dammit
You just woke the sexiness in me

Well
Told him if he keeps acting that way, imma drop him like it's hot
I don't have time to make a man act like a man

Oh well, I guess I am always in my feelings

Enjoy this:

I so love the game in this song before guys started pricing girls like meat on what'sapp:


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z6NzwMif0fA

Slow down I just wanna get to know you
But don't turn around
'Cause that pretty round thing looks good to me
Slow down never seen anything so lovely
Now turn around
And bless me with your beauty, cutie

- Bobby Valentine.... Slow Down

This is one of my best songs.

Dyt:
He doesn't know, we talked about it, I wanted to help him but dude just says he loves me too much, doesnt wanna lose me blabla and that wasn't enough for me

He becomes a monster at the sight of me laughing with others
He starts hitting me and crying why I am doing this to him
Mehn, I had to run

He pleaded, tried so hard to get me back but I said Na, I am too beautiful to die cos of your anger isdue

He's still trying to get me back, he still thinks I will never find a man that loves me as much as he does

Sadly for him, I think my bf loves me better now even when he's a crackhead

I like his confidence ke:

'Who can love you like me? Nobody' - Keith Sweat


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FMar1ifzdmk

@bold:

Dude has to check in with a psychiatrist asap.

mrblessed:
It is precisely because most women see marriage as a life-retirement package and would like to remain in it, rather than terminate it and become single all over again. Men also show great commitment to marriage but the number of women enduring abuse in marriage pales in comparison to that of men. And since many of them aren't financially independent, they rather stay put and take the abuse in good faith rather than expose themselves and their children to an uncharted life with great uncertainties.

The society has a rabid, unpleasant view of women of certain age bracket and divorcee, especially if they are women. No dispassionate commentary will gloss over the impact of our patriarchal system that foists such notion on women. For example, once a lady gets married, no one expects her to return to her father's house, not even her family members. So, she has task cut out, even if it means enduring life-threatening abuses.

@bold:

Is the man expected to return to his father's house?

The 'society' also has an unpleasant view about single men of a certain age bracket. Before the age of politicial correctness, I have stumbled on job descriptions that said a man must be married for the role. A number of men have told me that they have access to more 'rights' in the society because they are now married and seen as 'responsible.'

I know single males that their prospective landlords ask for their CV before renting their flats to them. For the married men, their families and wedding rings are their CVs.

Dyt:
That was his imperfection, except that, dude was a great guy, he loved me a great deal but that his anger thing was what I couldn't deal with, he was obsessed, I mean dude even fought men that looked at me, that was how bad it was..

There are so many things that makes one great in a relationship, he loved me with care, was scared to lose me thereby over protection..

One thing that turns me on in my relationship is when my partner trusts and owns me
It makes me fly, dammnit

I just couldn't stand the toxic part, he became abusive, I couldn't say hi to men, I couldn't even talk/chat with men and he couldn't stand me smiling and laughing with others while I frown at him, it makes him feel like he should kill me

Thank God Dyt is alive so we can assume you didn't laugh with others while frowning at him

Did you ever dig to find out what made him so possessive and insanely jealous?

The answers could have lain in his childhood.

ojun50:
I don dey ask this question for more than 20years

The question is same as:

Why do married women endure cheating husbands?

My take:

An average Nigerian woman (I like to use Nigeria as my reference ) does not see cheating and domestic abuse as 'bad' or 'intolerable.' Oh yes they will rant about it, say they can't take it, organize NGOs for it etc yet look at their choices:

It is the same way an average guy would say he can't marry a broke girl or an artificial one or a non-virgin till you see their choices. These things are not 'intolerable or so bad' to them.

Or how we complain our leaders are bad and vote same people year in, year out.

If you want to know what a society doesn't tolerate, check the vices you can't find or are very hidden e.g. homosexuality is a vice not tolerated in our society or 'publicly proclaiming you don't believe in a god/supreme being.'

As a result, homosexuals would do everything to deflect from themselves. You would just hear rumours of an exclusive club or members; you can't bet anything worthy you know anyone except you are a member yourself.

I know only one atheist in real life. Just one and he still tells me 'my daughter, God bless you.'

The vices you see exhibited in plain sight, forget it.

Dyt:
Some say for the Mrs tag
Some for the money
Some say for their children
Some say all men are same
Some don't have a reason

I used to judge these people alot till I was involved with a toxic partner, I walked away several times but dude kept coming back until the day I stood my ground it was enough

Yes, I still loved him when I walked away, it wasn't so easy but I had to for my mental health..

Now, not everyone have that courage to, considering the kind of society we came from

Permission to ask a question:

What did you love about him despite his toxicity?

Dyt:
You mean hanti could be the one

I don't even assume alternate monikers unless they claim it.

Eku pandemic

Kaien:
I don't see how my old moniker is of concern to you, just post your opinion and leave.

Leave to where?

I am wondering why you are salty this blessed afternoon.

Kaien:
Even if she does anything, is beating her and in front of her kids the right thing to do ?

I did not say the husband did right (why you would assume that is a wonder) ; I said she is in the best position to answer why she is still staying since you are concerned about it.

And I have updated my post for 'further clarity.'

I am curious to know your old moniker/alternate

Ceefashion:
I was robbed at gunpoint this week. Cash and my ATM taken. Was also forced to give my ATM pin. Everything was cleared. Almost went into depression when I remember my lost but once there is life, there is hope. Money can be restored but not Life...#SayNoToDepression

That is the spirit; thank God for life.

And you opened a new account to talk about your neighbor's marital issues?

Your neighbor would be in the best position to answer why she continues in a marriage where she is battered without doing anything to save herself or remedy the situation.

What kind of evil make people think up these things?

@rockstarB,

I have responded to you.

Rogosa:
There is something about the yoruba culture that made one to give respects to inlaw regardless of their age and it is killing.

@bold

rockstarB:
Lol

I dont know why I find this funny

Sign of good living

ContractKiller:
[img]https://images./765BdDHs3B7UVWRKJnuDGi.gif[/img]
[img]https://images./3pQAHmh04avazmy62WQM5x.jpg[/img]

That story is heart breaking.

Jay5mie:
Its OK to give up.


No one deserves pain.

No one created themselves either and nobody has the right to take their own life.

It is NOT OK to commit suicide; don't rename it 'giving up' or any other thing.