₦airaland Forum

Romangalactic:
No, I just like how it sounds. Apostle Johnson Suleiman also uses the expression a lot when preaching

sassysure:
I don't know about other parts of igboland o in my side, this is a no go area. Also, we hardly divorce. Actually, we don't divorce. Its the family that will divorce you guys traditionally when your case is extreme e.g., u are a killer, u panel beat your spouse etc, they always have your medicine no matter how bad and far gone you are. If it's a man who panel beat his wife, her people or his people will give him a dose of his medicine and her family will take their daughter and kids away from him. U are forbidden from marrying again. And u will be heavily fined. If u have repented and your conduct is accepted by all and sundry, u will start wooing your wife afresh. All through the time she is with her people, u will never fail in your obligations to your family. And if the women came for your case, sorry will be your last name.

It's working for them actually. Help in keeping the execcess of spouses in check.

Romangalactic:
Aiyaya, see hidden comments
I can't even follow up and read up all the contributions

sassysure:
U are actually wrong. You only know about your tribe and not other hundreds of tribe littered in the continent, Africa.
I'm igbo and anambra precisely from awka senatorial zone.
Our laws forbids that. The same way it forbids a man who gives a young maiden belle to waltz in to claim the child anytime he want.
I grew up with this law and unless they abolish that today, it's still in place.
So don't rope all in one basket.

In abiriba, abia state, it's the wives family that marry off their sisters daughter. Is this the norm, no but it's the practice over there. I have been to one and even though we found it weird, it's still their cultural practice and we respected that.

Imagine roping Egypt and Nigeria as the same culturally or even south Africa.

sassysure:
Actually, i have thought deep about this case. Yes, the child is acceptable to the family if the man decides otherwise in my place.
The same way children born out of wedlock solely belong to the woman irrespective of who the father is. The family opposite my house in the village had a case like this.
They had 4 kids. Then wifey got pregnant like 12 yrs after the last. News started flying around. Wifey had before stopped the husband from touching her but has a secret boyfriend. So when she got pregnant, she came to her husband but his brothers are already aware and told the man toreject her advances. She was exposed but the man refused to divorce her. She gave birth to a very beautiful baby girl. This man loved this girl more than all his kids. The father is from.the neborhood but has no claim on that child as long as the man is still married to the woman. Actually, as long as you are married, any child you have while married irrespective of who the father is belong to the husband.

We don't reject children at all and we quickly integrate them into the family.
Anybody reading this and say yes will know where i came from instantly.
I dont know how other parts of my tribe does theirs.

The first post I made is a general post but I have narrowed it down to how it is done in my place

A man who gives a woman belle married or not don't get to get ownership of that child. The only exception is when she is still single and the man marry her with the belle. Weird and funny at the same time.
Our tradition and culture protects the female more than the male and we are in Nigeria

Vyzz:
Currently I am vibing to Will by j-lucas ft will smith
And also faaji by ycee dremo and sinzu
I will finish it later

Sabby1:
Although, I predominantly listen to gospel music, my favourite is 'oceans: where feet may fail' by hillsong. The song makes me emotional and the lyrics is out of this world
My favourite non gospel music is 'hero' by Enrique Iglesias. It reminds me of the good old days

Mariangeles:
What can I say? Who knows how it's done in other parts of the world?

Sapphire86:
Lalasticlala, you typed 40 million dollars... Was that in error?

How can Cynthia owe Jude over 40 million dollars?? Isn't that 'living in bondage, reality edition'

Mariangeles:
Be realistic, this is Africa where the father gives the child an identity!
It might not matter in other parts of the world, but in Africa, a child who does not know who his father is, not to talk of his family roots, is termed a bastard.

sassysure:
Blame the Nigerian culture and religion.

The child answers whose name?
The father.
And here who is the father, def not the woman's husband.
So the child don't belong to the family.

U see baby mamas giving their children the surnames of their baby daddies. Why?
Cos at the right time, the child will get to know his father and become part of him. A woman can't get pregnant by another man while married and make the child bear the name of her husband. If it's known, the real father will come for his child whether the woman want it or not. He don't belong to that family.
Then again, unless there is an agreement e.g., if the man is sterile etc. My culture allows that and the child is protected by the laws of the land.
If it's children before marriage, it's understandable and there is always an agreement before saying i do.
Na our society. It's even more of cultural than religious.

rockstarB:
Stop forming woke either. You called my concept of DNA disruption and family tree archaic, yet you did a DNA test on your child, just to be sure he is truly yours, and he is in no way being a false member of your family tree.
We are on the same side, you can as well say we should both stop displaying our ignorance

Kingarthur21:
now I understand why ladies came for your head in the family section.

I dont blame them for it.

Talking of fact . I am a medical doctor,upper year I will be through with my residency and become a surgeon over here in Texas .So dont tell me what is fact and not fact.

rockstarB:
Dont mind him. For someone that did a DNA on his own child. If DNA disruption doesnt mean anything to him why did he do a DNA test on his own son?

Kingarthur21:
we are not talking about deception by the woman here.
We are talking about a woman bringing a kid that is not his and being honest about it(my dear husband,when you were abroad , I made a mistake and I am pregnant ) versus a Man bringing a kid that is not hers.
What is the difference?

No one is comparing paternity fraud with a love child because the former is purely deceit! We are comparing a love child from a man and a love child from a woman(with no deceit).

Why do think one is more tolerable than another?

You are woman(except you are a male behind this moniker),you should know better that raising a child is not just a man dropping money. If a man brings in a love child will the lady not nurture,groom and take care of the child?you think flinging cash is more than bathing a kid thrice a day,watching over the kid feeding the kid,,sleeping with the kid when admitted in the hospital(most men cant do such), changing nappies at night etc

As a single father(I am engaged to the mother of my kid though),he came to spend last Christmas with me,it was hell. He will climb everywhere,put my phone in the toilet,switch on the gas,not to talk of him waking up at night severally..I just couldn't do anything, I was tied down. I realised that taking care of a child is worth more than the money I send monthly for his upkeep.


So please concisely state the difference between a love child from a man and a love child from a woman,if both are honest about it!

Kuns84:
Very apt!

Kingarthur21:
a myopic and sexist gibberish you put up.

No man/woman should be deceived/forced into raising a child from wedlock.
There is no excuse for it,you talk like one from the medieval times.
DNA disruption?family tree?
In the 21st century you are analysing from a sexist lens..

In as much as I hate modern day feminism,I agree it was needed to some extent to put sexist men at bay

rockstarB:
Because that child is a disruption to the family tree. A married man that has a child with another woman still gets to maintain his DNA through that child, the child is part of the family tree. It is solely up to the wife to decide whether she wants to be a part of the childs life or not, the man can as well raise the kid with the babymama outside his family. He gets to spend his money on his own child and all that daddy duties.
When a married woman cheats and gets pregnant for another man(if she gets caught), that child is automatically a bastard to the family, a disruption to the family tree. His sisters, brothers, uncles and aunts are not his real relatives.
A married woman that has the courage to get pregnant for another man should use same energy to raise the child with the real family.
Except a man wants to genuinely protect the image of the family, such child should be raised in his real family.
Say no to OMO ALE. Only a woman can bring a bastard to the family. A bastard child never comes through a man.

Rgade:
Irish university business school, London

dominique:
I'm not against teaching boys (and girls) the importance of making money from a young age but putting pubescent teenagers on freelancing platforms? Too dangerous. A teenager should not be left alone wandering around the cyberspace unsupervised. I thought Nigerian parents were bad for putting financial pressure on their kids at 18 years old upwards. Indian, Bangladeshi parents are even worse. Imagine a 13 year old sourcing for work on Fiverr. Poverty die die die

Making money is not all there is to being men. Some men make money and are still irresponsible. Teach your sons responsibility that comes being a man not just money making only

yettymuse:
Yes!.......Quite interesting.