₦airaland Forum

imiski:
This country Nigeria is unfair to women. If it was a woman getting married for even the second time, she would be labeled as a LovePeddler with bad character that can't keep a man.

Clarion Chukwurah is married to a 3rd husband younger than her.

When you say this country is unfair to women in this case, I am amazed.

Has the society stopped anyone from doing what they really want to do?

What makes you think that men with multiple marriages are not laughed at?

Afteral, the OP tells us that Nice's parents are not involved in the marriage.

[quote author= post=85176712]Just imagine this rubbish ......

[/quote]What manner of fuckery is this?

oweniwe:


Stripper is akin to spaghetti

Prostitute is akin to Noodles

What is the difference between spaghetti and noodles?

Last last .... Both will curl up in the pot and den go chop both of them.... Irrespective of the method of cooking.

Now, you make me feel like eating spaghetti

SteveOfu:
Getting pregnant before marriage is now becoming acceptable by the society...
WHY?

Now?

Is pregnancy before marriage a new norm?

ImaIma1:
There's time for everything.

The earlier people especially ladies look for suitors, the better for them.

lavylilly:
Dear Men,

Local Girl is NOT understanding something and needs your help.

Here is the scenario

Mr. Man approached her,professed his love and asked to be given a chance. She refused. He persisted, but she stood her ground.

3 months later, Mr.man is now getting married.

Local Girl is hurt. She feels like Mr.Man ALMOST used her. How could he have found and engaged a woman within 3 months?! Did she dodge a bullet or missed out?

Why are you hurt?

Shouldn't you be happy that his intentions were exposed?

What did you think you missed out on?

Or did you like him Or just desperate to be married that any man would do?

extwoo:
She dodged a bullet. Lucky move.

Extremely lucky

milemimi93:
If u slep wit som1 and stil luv ur partner dat nt cheatin. Cheatin is wen u emotionaly hurt ur partner

You love your girls so much yet you are sleeping around and it is not cheating?

Carry on.

Vividly?

Do people live vaguely before?

Mindfulness:
A very nice list you have there but it isn't specifically cut to marriage as such but to life in general, which I think you have also implied. I am sure most parents have wanted and want their kids to be self-aware, self-confident, smart, solution oriented, civil you name it but divorce is still on the rise. I know people who have most of the traits you have named there and still have had difficulties in their relationships or a fair share of heart-breaks or got divorced.

There are countless marriage counsellors out there and yet some marriages can't be saved. There are millions of books on relationships and yet it becomes increasingly difficult to build lasting relationships. We seem to have some consent of what a good relationship should be like, loving, supportive, fun, sincere and so on and so forth but ...

But...

People are not intentional about marriage.

Read through this thread for instance; almost everyone has revolted against preparing kids for marriage.

They would prepare/train their kids for their career, purpose etc etc and marriage would come when it comes.

An average human in Nigerian spends the first 25yrs preparing intentionally for a career path or even job. While on the job, they do self appraisals, appraised by superiors/junior colleagues, are assessed, are re-trained, do refresher courses for a career/job that they will do not have for their lifetime. Average working span is 35yrs active service or 60/65yrs old.

Yet someone we will spend the rest of our lives with, bring up kids with, we shop them as if we are shopping for flip flops we need for a one-time beach party.

Some people even do more thinking when buying tomatoes than getting married. After the marriage, no maintenance, no appreciation, no appraisals, no assessments, no refresher courses needed, nothing!

Or some people decide to do crash courses of cooking, cleaning, respect and provision when the child is already unbendable with several body counts and skewwed view of marriage and relationships.

Trust when when I say a lot of children are not trained for marriage in Nigeria. I am talking of training to even know the right spouse in the first place.

Forget training about cooking and cleaning the house.

Those ones can be learnt in 2wks.

If the foundation is destroyed, what can the righteous do?

If you marry the wrong spouse what can marriage books do except you both or willing to change your core or you are willing to keep/start putting up with the person's shenanigans?

quirus:
His best performance is in the movie "Perfect Picture". U just must love his role there.

Will check it out.

Thanks.

PrimadonnaO:
Kindly explain.

Romans 14: 21 It is better not to eat meat or drink wine or do anything else if it might cause another believer to stumble.

Matthew 18:7 “What sorrow awaits the world, because it tempts people to sin. Temptations are inevitable, but what sorrow awaits the person who does the tempting.

1cor 7:1 Now regarding the questions you asked in your letter. Yes, it is good to abstain from sexual relations.[a] 2 But because there is so much sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife, and each woman should have her own husband. 3 The husband should fulfill his wife’s sexual needs, and the wife should fulfill her husband’s needs. 4 The wife gives authority over her body to her husband, and the husband gives authority over his body to his wife. 5 Do not deprive each other of sexual relations, unless you both agree to refrain from sexual intimacy for a limited time so you can give yourselves more completely to prayer. Afterward, you should come together again so that Satan won’t be able to tempt you because of your lack of self-control.


If the OP commits adultery, it is a sin.

Why did he commit? Because his wife locked shop and he has requested for the key several times through several means.

His wife is a stumbling block causing him to fall in this case.

NwanyiOkpa:
Getting over someone you love isn't that easy though.

That is why I am surprised that 6 months late, he is straffing someone else.

Admin9:
Hmmmm... How many months is the minimum?

There is no timeline.

I am thinking you broke up with someone you claim to live, had sex with bla bla.

You calm down and try to get over the person while been celibate.

You take stock for why the relationship did not work and diligently search for someone whose life aligns with yours and you get to know the person before another relationship buds.

Except you are telling me you are in a relationship for sex and gave no self control so you need to jump from one girl to another.

Admin9:
Have I moved on? I guess that's the essence of this thread.

You have not moved on and already having sex with someone else?

Why are you cheapening your body? Don't you have dignity for your body that you can share it with anyone?

The moment you slept with that girl, you started a relationship with her.

Define it as you wish.

Mindfulness:
How do you prepare teenagers and what do you teach them?

Preparation for marriage is like preparation for a career, sex education, introduction to religion etc.

It is age appropriate and in stages.

First, the teen has to be guided through the steps of self discovery. Personality type, likes, dislikes, dreams, aspirations, self respect, self control, self esteem, self love. ability to stand alone if they are convinced they are right aka not bowing to peer pressure, sexual purity and responsibility, ability to discern, ability for logical thinking so they do not view personality traits in silos, assertiveness, negotiation skills, ability to embrace their weaknesses, delayed gratification, problem solving skills, relationship guidelines, responsibilities, rights and consequences etc.

Each gender would also be taught on love and submission, expectations in marriage, passion, sexual responsiveness and exploration etc.

Of course, some of these teachings would be as adults actually getting ready to marry.

Now, their orientation is shaped aright so before they enter into a relationship they think critically of the usefulness, personality type to theirs etc. It would in turn guide them to the right spouses for them and hitch the person as quickly as possible.

For me, I believe in 'configuring' someone to make the right choices than spelling out A, B and C for them.

Cc.: ireneidiva

BigJoe19:
No, he should not move on, he should keep himself for her love until Jesus comes back.
All this nonsense talk sef.

You claim to live someone for almost two years and move on with 6mths?

Interesting.

maasoap:
God bless you for your wisdom and understanding.

Thanks

maasoap:
So, the punishment and suffering continue? May be divorce will be better if the issue is not resolved

I honestly don't know if divorce/ separation is allowed when one party starved the other of sex.

Makanaki one of my favorite actors.

I loved his role in 'Coming from Insanity'.

Dude ni swags la tile.

Nice family pictures.

portune:
********I AM THE POSTER!!!!*******



I do my job as a good husband. Within a space of a month, I bought 2 fones for her worth 250k. Kid spoilt the 1st so I replaced. She even auggests i go outside and get sidechick that i dont spend money on her. Imagine?

How many people has a running capital of 250k in Naija?? If u add money for Xmass for her and kids plus xmass money and dec upkeep i have spent over almost 400k this month . Imagine this..

Who ever wants to chat me personally on this can reach me via this;
My gmail acc: redocbp@gmail.com

Your wife wants you to get a side chic while she still retains your name and holds on to the luxuries marriage to you presents!

Smart woman.

It is called eating your cake and having it.

It is up to you oga.

Admin9:
A man has to move on. Besides me dating my new GF is not official yet. Like i said; " I am following up with another nice girl"

That you have had sex several times with

Happy following up.

midnighter:
Yeah, it has something to do with it.

If hes not providing for her in the home then it will cause problems between them so he was right to give us that information although he should have included actual details about their sex life and not just that alone.

Is she a prostitute that ties sex to money?

Jewessgratitude:
Oh...its paining you? Let it not pain you my dear because its a norm. Why?
Now listen..

Before you condemn someone, be sure you yourself are 100% perfect.
I'm not saying what she did was right but hey both of you are guilty cos you initiating and subscribing to sex before marriage already opens the door for such women to come your way.
Any girl you ask to sleep with during dating or courtship and she doesn't kick against it, you shouldnt expect any better.
The problem is most of you always rush the girls that open their legs for you and then you'll say aahhh...this one na Sorji babe, I'll marry her but look ignore some of us who say no sex in courtship. But then as she doesnt see anything wrong in giving you to test, that is how she'll not see anything wrong in giving another guy to test as you guys are a testing spree. Also as these days nobody sees anything wrong in premarital sex cos the rate at which every tom dick and Harry engages in it and have the boldness to come discussing it openly shows it has become a common thing and hence not regarded as sacred even among married people flirting.
As long as you consent to premarital sex, those are the kind of girls you'll continue to meet. Like begat like. So why are you angry.

Keep yourself and You'll get yourself a decent woman.

HOW TO KNOW AND AVOID THEM

You dont need to tell them you dont want sex otherwise they'll pretend and play along.
Just make sexual advances at her, you'll easily know those ones cos they'll not put up any resistance and will let you have them but the disciplined ones will say no. Even from your discussion with them you will know those that will allow you and other men to test. But men...una long throat nor go gree una get sense as you feel the one who give it to you is the best for you.
Learn from your own lesson and zip up before you make the mistake of your life.

Very funny

You were so in love with you ex and 6mths later, you are with someone else.

You know the meaning of love so?

ireneidiva:
Please, teenagers should be taught to pursue their dreams with all they can. Marriage should come whenever they choose or when they have some things in place. How many people live happily ever after when they marry?

You think marriage & dream chasing are mutual exclusive, I don't. In fact, some dreams would never be fulfilled until marriage. Imagine someone who wants to be the president of Nigeria: he/she must be married.

You also think marriage should come whenever they choose without preparation.

Why do you think there are a lot of happily never afters?

Because they let marriage happen and did not prepare for it.

And I do not necessarily think a teenager should be married: I said they should be prepared for marriage.

And I do not believe in people living loose, purposeless lives in the name of freedom or growing up.

Most of them never recover from the damage inflicted on their body, spirit and soul.

The person you marry is the 2nd most important decision you will make in life.

LilMissFavvy:
I'm already familiar with that. It's very common to see a white divorced woman getting married with ease, without her failed marriage or age being criticized. How much more an advanced spinster. You aren't aware of many white women who marry younger husbands, the men hardly discriminate or worry so much about age.

And Nigerian divorced women are not getting re-married (even though it is mostly common law marriage aka cohabitating) especially in rural areas?

How do you know that her failed married and/age are not been critisized?

A number of Nigerian men are married to older wives tooo. Darey Art Alade, Peter PSquare, Gov of Ondo state etc. While I know they are not your regular examples, these are men who could pick anyone else and they chose older women.

In fact, multiple marriages seem to me like their society discriminates against single people a lot hence the need to always be married.

LilMissFavvy:
I disagree with you. The whites do not discriminate a woman's age.

Hahahahahahaha!

Oblige me and read through their blogs, articles etc.

Preshy561:
He wants to quit the relationship cos the lady showed him her true colour; that's what I'm talking about.
@emboldened, why bring this up? And yes, that's if he felt entitled to her thighs.

Only prostitutes exchange sex for money.

It doesn't matter if they are private or public.

sassysure:
Oh dear, we have a very long way to go.
Heaven helps those who help themselves.

I don't know if its because we have poor living standard so it has robbed on us negatively.

Ask a babe what she loves about her man, she will tell you he spends on her. As if sugar daddies don't spend on their small girls.

Hahahaha at what a babe lives about her man.

I think the 'Nigerian' men & women have perfected the game.

The way some of them reason?

You visit your guy and you collect t.fare.

Are you a jobless booty call?

OP said family is slowly destroyed.

My dear, the destruction is on fast lane

1. Brother claims gay
2. Rapes sister under influence of alcohol
3. Mum not sensitive enough to believe daughter when she became sucidial
4. Raped sister committing suicide.

All under one month.

LilMissFavvy:
Story.....
It is only in Africa that marriage is overrated and the men criticize and scrutinize a woman's age, nonscence. There is nothing wrong with a woman who wants to achieve some of her dreams and marry in her late 20s, 30s or 40s. Singlehood is as sweet as marriage. The problem is not the age of women, the problem is the mentality of the Nigerian man. Our daft mentality should stop dictating to women the ages they should marry.

@bold:

Don't get it twisted.

You see all the evening newspaper talk our guys do here, they got it from the whites and Africanized it.