₦airaland Forum

ocmarion:
Hi Guys ... needs a public opinion on this . My wife said she is no longer interested in the marriage that she want to exist , in as much as i love her and the kids i believe its best for us .... i love my wife very much but i just cant live with her .. but there are two kids involved trust me those kids are the reason i keep it all together till this moment . she told she would have moved out if she have other places to go because she wasn't working and she broke the news immediately she find a job . we have been married for 7 year and she never work i give her monthly allowance and everything . this is the problem she find a job she is no longer interested in the marriage and she wont move out ... i have to move to the living room while she use our room because we live in 2 bedroom apartment . she said she wont leave the house and want me to rather leave the house for her ... her new job is challenging and she hardly home .. i spend time with the kids more than she does sometimes she gets back at 8 sometimes 9 pm ... i would have done all the necessary thing in the house cook feed the kids and all that when she returns she will go straight to the kitchen eat then spend the rest of the day on the phone with family and friends .. sometimes she will abuse me to her friends and family ... i would have just move out but i fear for the welfare of my kids and its hard starting again getting a house and setting it up ... she is a good person though no one is perfect i just don't know what to do .. she has a brother that lives close to us her brother is one of the reason why we have many issues ... i told her to move in with her brother since she hardly home sometimes the kids are a slept when she return she said i should be the one leaving my house .. I'm not a weak man just don't want drama and i just want my kids to live in a peaceful environment ...

What are the issues in your marriage before she started working?

What a lot if ladies have not realized is that everyman needs a type of woman in life per time.

This might be one lady expected to pick up many hats for the monogamous ones or several ladies for several hats.

For instance, a poor man who had a resourceful making garri swell and knowing where to buy the cheapest second hand clothes doesn't need that skill when he becomes the MD. He needs her to start speaking investments and good appearances.

Again men's definition of a wife differs.

Do you know what your man defines a wife as?

Vyolet:
Op, that your in between that you've been writing since is "by the way" (BTW).
Good luck in getting your dy/dx woman, it's just that they are mostly ugly facially, rough skin and no touch of class.

@bold:

Interesting!

How many dy/dx women do you know?

Most of the first class women I have seen published are beautiful, calm, sweet smiles, look healthy etc.

Except you equate beauty with slay queenism.

Nice to read.

America prides themselves in following the rule of law. They should do same in this case.

Nice one. Mrs. Johnson-Okoije.

We need to learn more about our history

itsme01:



so she doesnt have any production to her credit, since all this while and yet she is super rich and happily married without hoeing around


Kudos to her and i wish her success

.

How does this correlate

Dan2000:
No she was never on low cut, except secondary school days, we use to joke about it then, all her response was that she will have to satisfy her man by all means.
So I was wondering that what's the big deal for a lady to be on low cut, why will she care about how people outside will feel.

So she was fine with it before marriage.

Sounds familiar.

People say all sorts to clinch the ring.

Well, low cut turns you on. Your sisi does not like low cut.

Fashion has made a compromise...

Wigs! In all shades, lengths, styles etc.

Now if her concern is how she would look in it (low cut doesn't fit everyone and even though she is to please you, she is not an hermit and needs to be confident in her looks), she can try straw curls which mimics low cut and rock it to see how she looks.

Thereafter, she can cut her hair and style as she wishes while wearing wigs everytime she is outside (if she is still not comfortable with it)

If after all said and done, she doesn't like to cut her hair, leave her.

There are other things you like that she does/ will do.

On a side note, long hair is the crown of a woman; another reason she might not want to cut it.

Teenagers should be prepared for marriage.

They should also be taught and be guided on the journey of self discovery.

That way, they automatically know the spouses food for them.

They marry early, fulfill their dreams and live happily ever after

Dan2000:
We dated for over 5 years before marriage, I actually started dating her while I was in 3rd year in the university, whereas for her being on low cut was never an issue then.
The only thing I realised is that women do change after marriage.

I don't get.

She was on low cut before you married?

Jammyudom:
Age b/w 24-36yrs
Single no kid
Medical/law/ Engineering
Good in mathematics
God fearing
Willing to relocate
Sense of humor
Working
Versatile on world event and politics
From a family that have values
Have a great deal of humanity
Love romance
Chocolate or light skin
Have zero tolerance for tribalism and nepotism
Have a good eating habits
If you have above qualities as a lady, contact me, else I go foreign,I can't come and kill myself
Here are my qualities
32yrs
Engineering Field
God fearing
Chocolate in color
Well organized
Realist
Idealist
Have eyes for investment
6feet tall
Adventure in nature
Love humanity
Believe in romance
At peace with myself
Love reading
Etc
If you are ok with the above, write me at jamesudom30@gmail.com or contact me at 08030719957

Sorry, when I saw good in mathematics, what came to me was good in bed.

Goodluck in your search

Or you can go to your village this Christmas or ask you parents for recommendations

aminusodiq:
U wan start calculus tutorials

Hahahaha

Which kind nollywood village girl dress is this to an official function?

our9ja:
If Anyone is seeing this I would like a suggestion...I’m having same problem now and I don’t want to mention tribe .This particular tenant is owing 5 months in 2 bed room apartment in Benin city.Whenever we call and ask for rent he will say complain that he does not have a Job that he can not go and steal .

What kind of entitled people are these?

What is your business if he is jobless or were you the one that made him jobless?

Ask him for a payment plan (monthly, quarterly, etc) for starters especially if he has been a good tenant prior to now.

flyingdutchman:
You are a very wicked person.

Very very wicked.

Never considering the other party.

chival:
He probably doesn't have the funds to rent a new apartment yet. He'll leave eventually. Home owners should learn to have compassion for their tenants. The state of affairs in the country is causing millions to suffer untold hardship.

Is this a joke?

After one year?

And landlord does not need to make money off his property?

Let's assume the tenant is stranded, you beg your landlord and give him a payment plan even if you will turn the rent to monthly or twice a month sef.

You will also not be troublesome.

After all, the tenant clearly said they needed 6mths to get another accommodation.

The owing family know the landlord is cool that's why they have stayed that long disobeying court orders.

sinaj:
Remove the roof

I like this.

Tell them you want to repair the house in 24hrs in a formal notice referencing the previous quit notices and rulings.

In the 24th hr, remove ALL the roofs and main doors at once.

Then take out the meter card if it is prepaid or disconnect the meter if paid.

This would also send a subtle warning to the next tenants.

One of the handicaps of the law.

crackhaus:


Once some women hear DNA test, all their electrodes will start experiencing high current discharge - I don't know whether it's because they are never sure who actually got them pregnant.

Bukatyne

DNA test is an question of the woman's fidelity na, what do you except?

luminouz:
The why is obvious and stated. They see her as an outsider to their unity. Secondly,the husband get dough and of course foot some bills before she got married to him. Lemme guess after the marriage,the husband stopped doing those duties and the sisters naturally think na OP's fault.

I have actually edited the post.

The problem is the husband. He presented her as an outsider so his family will treat her like that.

And except they are up in her face, she should move on and teach her kids to make better choices.

luminouz:
The answer is already in her writeup naaaa!!!

I am looking for the root cause.

I know what the SILs are doing, I know what the husband is doing /not doing.

My question is how and why?

Honestly, this continued in-law/ extended family wahala is strange to me IF we do not stay together.

I am in my home and somebody is making decisions, how? Is it decision of what to eat, where to Stay, school for the kids, etc. That someone not staying with me would have control over?

And if I visit people, I have learnt to follow thier rules once it doesn't hurt me.

We eat eba every day, yes ma. We sleep by 7pm, yes sir. We sleep by 2am, noted ma.

If I am now in my home and someone tries to overreach, then we have a case.

My home is my sanctuary and I will not tolerate anyone to disturb my peace.

Often times, single ladies do not properly understand their men before getting married.

They don't know his stance on issues concerning in-laws, finances, relationship of the marriage, culture (what it states and his stance), religion, job/career/purpose and then they start complaining when issues arise.

If you are married to a man who believes you are an addition to his nuclear family, he will treat you different and have different expectations from when he believes you both a building a new home which is an offshoot of the extended family. Some ladies now use husband first name - last name to denote that they are a small part of a larger clan.

When I say a husband is the second most important decision a woman would ever make, it sounds like I am dragging women back to the 10th century or anti-women or anti-feminist.

If all is well, I do not know how in-laws who are not in the same space have such a great influence on the couple.

Women, shine your eyes and use your sense.

sassysure:
Can't u see the poster is a troll?
And a guy.
Boredom can cause anything. See as he is playing everybody

The amount of family issues we have had this December ehn, it seems it is a Christmas package.

Na them Sabi.

Thanks for the heads up.

Jadeobee:
Well I don’t want to ask him hence why I’m here asking strangers. If you have nothing reasonable to add to this thread then leave, miss advocate for women. Shior.

@bold:

Why don't you want to ask your husband?

Only he can judge the changes after you put to bed.

Tosinayoko:
Most of the persons that comment earlier as no or little experience about women especially those ones that have given birth.

My dear, I can tell you with all effrontery that some women that have given birth are more firm, tight than most single ladies.... I think it's just the peculiarity of the body physiology.

So, feel cool nothing to fear. And again, I hope you have a Christian home.

Why does the Christianity of the home matter?

Anifaza:
Please pardon me for using a new moniker as I am quite known here.

Friends and family, I really need your sincere and matured input on this matter.

  I have been married for over 10 years with 4 kids. My hubby is a great guy save for this area that we will never agree.
 
 
    I have sisters-in-law who have vowed never to give me peace despite all my efforts to give peace a chance.  Most of them are all older than him and sort of influences his decision that affects my marriage greatly.

    From the beginning, it has been if I am in their good books, my marriage will work and I will be happy, then if not, reverse will be the case.

  My husband has refused to see all their manipulations and always tell me that he grew up with them and so he is indebted to them. I have never tried to cause a separation between them but they usually see me as an intruder to their unity.

   For these 10 years plus, it has always been the issue,  I have begged, used gifts,  apologised ,sought for forgiveness from them  for sins I have not committed just for peace to reign yet, the next problem will be bigger than the previous.

    Some are married while some are not. The worst that affect me most is the married ones with children.

   Now, they all don't talk to me and this is affecting my marriage. Hubby gives me cold shoulders, no sex asking me to mend the relationship with his sisters  of which I am fed up with the whole thing and I don't want to beg again.
   My mind is made up that everyone should stay on their own. Hubby is the only male, seems to be the only one doing well  and parents are no more
  Please what do I do?

Mods front page please for more inputs.

How does your SILs have such influence in your nuclear family?

MelesZenawi:
I used to tell people that liberalism is a sign of mental disorder.


A Democrats dominated house of Representatives Impeached president Trump and now wants a Senate dominated Republicans to also do so.

Imagine Pelosi saying "we hope they will be fair to us"........Was she fair to Trump.

Republicans should rubbish those articles when finally Pelosi got the nerves to send them.


In McConnell's voice "I am in no hurry"

Rights without responsibility is a curse to civilization.

princemillla:
[b] See working system.[/b]Try that here u will get killed by assassin.


God wake up for Nigerians. We need you more

How is the system working here?

bryanarchie:
we've been through a lot as a couple and I'm really tired of trying to get my point through but to no avail.my hubby wants to travel home to his parents because he got an invitation from his very sick dad to come over for Christmas (I was not invited, long story).I do not want him to go this season (after new year is okay) because I want us to spend Christmas together (me him and our sons) we've never spent Christmas together in our home.when he travels, he comes back flat broke and I'm left with the burden of our home for January.I feel he should not abandon his uber business this season.I want us to crossover together as a family.he is insisting and I'm not having it....

please am I wrong, because his mother and father are in their home, why can't he stay with us.travelling with him is not an option.

Madam,

You said your father in-law is sick and invited his son (your husband) over.

You don't want him to go because
1. You have never spent Christmas together
2. He will return broke and you will always bear the household expense for January

You are the embodiment of selfishness ma'am.

I don't know why other years you haven't spent Christmas together.

It is either you all go to be with his sick father or you pray for a safe trip and let him go visit his father.

If you already know that he will be broke every January, why don't you take up that responsibility? Agterall, he finances the home Feb - Dec.

Oya pray that every spirit of self-centredness will die by fire.

Kendumazy:
It happens. When couples love their selves like mad. When one dies, the other partner may not be able to survive it. He or she will definitely follow within short period of time. We call such kind of love "Ife gbomogbomo" in yoruba language. In another words, such kind of love is such that you are always seeing the husband and wife together, they can hardly leave each other for an hour. That's the bad side of too much of love.
Seen it happen to alot of young couples too. That's remind me of one, the wife had cancer, she was treated and was very okay. All of a sudden she died. Two days later, the husband too died.

Hahahaha at bad side of too much love.

Preciousgirl:
Because he found out I sent my picture to a male friend
He has ordered me to delete social media entirely before peace will prevail.

I told my dad and he is very upset about it. My dad has warned that I remain on social media. Please advise.

I seem to remember your story.

We could say your husband is controlling however, you have proven to be a child who needs to be monitored and controlled.

What is your dad's stake in the matter?

crackhaus:
So why you con dey edit my post na if we are already on the same wavelength?

Because men sometimes instigate verbal abuse too.

Fountainofyouth:
Yes if you calling me a bitch hurts me, I'd trace you and beat you up, isn't your point verbal abuse equals physical abuse?

Yes it is same cos you both said negative untrue words about me,

Did I give you the impression that verbal and physical abuse is right?

Lol.

@Fountainofyouth:

If a random online user calls you a b!tch and it hurts you, you will search for the person and beat the person?

The Oshogbo weed you are taking is very strong.

Before you go all 'this is all verbal abuse' on me, I am just making a statement of fact.

liberalchick:
The first part of the bolded falls under “sustained abuse”.

There you go!

Humans can walk away! If those that think they can’t win the physical battle can walk away then everyone can, so that’s no longer a justification. You walk away and if what you walked away from is a crime, report it.

People can walk away.

Do I want to find out if the person I am fingering their mind would walk away?

No.

I am not that bold.

And if someone close to me keeps saying the wrong things after warnings and even looking inwards, they will pay for it (whatever I deem appropriate) .