₦airaland Forum

crackhaus:
Neither should you believe the stories outright without proof.

Personally, I'm usually indifferent to such stories. Don't judge.
But anytime someone tells me their deflowered via rape story, I ask how old they were when it happened and with whom it happened.
Once the answers to those questions swing a certain way, I become completely indifferent and honestly cannot be bothered. If they appear broken and damaged still, the best I can offer is a suggestion for counselling/therapy so they can heal.

My empathy and pity also come with a statute of limitations, just like crimes that have gone unreported for years.

Maybe I should say indifference.

Someone tells me they were raped; I sympathize and gently probe if they are ready to talk.

Not ready, I move on. Ready, I listen and empathize if need be.

I believe it would be deeper for a potential romantic partner.

My own is don't discard it as lies until you can prove it is.

The thread that prompted me to create this was crazy.

fieryy:
What a way to blame the victim.

What victim?

CHoccolaTE:
Na wa o

OK bukatyne I have agreed

A man forcing himself on a drunk on woman is not rape

A woman being forcefully penetrated after visiting an admirer is not rape too

You win, Buka 2 : Choco 0

I wish it were a competition; it is not.

A drunk man forcing himself on a drunk woman is what?

CHoccolaTE:
Hmmm

1. Having sex with a drunk person is wrong naaa, haba mama, no wa o.
I dont get your analogy of absolving drunk people of murder, if a woman drinks and passes out or is unaware o:her surroundings and a man has enough consciousness and self awareness to have sex with her without her approval it's rape.
Nothing else but rape.

And also,
2. Many women are forcefully penetrated when they visit men, regardless of whether the man indicated interest in them prior to that. Some men indicate interest others just force the women because the situation presented an opportunity. It's still rape, whether he indicated interest before ooo, whether she is single digit IQ oooo, it doesnt matter. Forced, non consensual intercourse is rape.

1. If the man & woman is drunk, who raped who?

2. You are not getting the point. If you are not interested in sex with a man, don't go to his house, don't give him green light etc.

My people say 'what you won't eat, you don't smell it.'

I am very sure that when you get home tonight, you will lock all doors and windows. You also would not put your valuables outside the gate despite the assurance of security by Police, Neighborhood Watch, OPC, Gateman etc.

If you can take such caution against valuable things you bought with money and can be replaced irrespective of how long you gather the funds, why can't you protect your body most valuable to you?

We talk of consent:

Imagine I ask you to be my friend; you say no yet you come to my house, eat my food and then I want to introduce you to my neighbors and you say 'we are not friends o! In fact, I don't like bukatyne' while still nibbling on the roasted turkey I gave you. Or some people see you two days later and say 'catch Chocolate, she is bukatyne' s friend. They were together 2 days ago and will fetch bukatyne out.' and you deny you are my friend.

Even you would not take yourself serious. I also would not take you seriously Ditto the neighbors that saw you.

No ambiguity; no hot & cold.

If you are not doing, you are not doing. If you are, do it well and own up to it. If you have buyer's remorse after doing, suck it up and make better choices next time.

cococandy:
Same to you Buka

It depends on the type of rice you’re using.
I was using basmati in this case. Quick to cook and easy to get soggy. Hence it goes straight into the veggie mix and just cooks with the steam. Tiny stock added. No water.

If I’m using jasmine rice, I cook it like white rice, leave it in the fridge overnight to harden and then put in my veggie sauce when I’m ready.

When using parboiled rice, I give a good rinse and fry in butter like you described.

Experience has taught me the different rices don’t play the same way

Thanks a lot dear, just realized I had not done that.

emmaodet:
Merry xmas and happy new year to you too bro.
Honourable greetings to :
Ubunja
Pansophist
Franchasng
Omenka
Madam Poco
Bukatyne
Capslocked
Etc
And my fellow brothers in the struggle.
And also i didn't forget my followers an co.

Thank you and compliments of the season.

CHoccolaTE:
Men are funny

So your sole reason for getting another wife is just to have sex?
You would deliberately take on the permanent financial and emotional burden of polygamy because wife locked shop for sometime? What if the second wife also withholds sex?
Will you keep filling your house with wives instead of solving the problem that made her withhold sex in the first place?

By the way I thought Christianity forbids polygamy? What is all this talk of ancestors and significance of bride price?
Where was polygamy stated as the significance of bride price in the Bible?

@bold:

It also forbids a wife/husband locking shop without the agreement of the other partner.

midnighter:
Christianity is not the point; marrying multiple wives is permitted under customary law in this country.

We are in constant balancing act between religion and tradition in marriage and in our lives in general.

What you wrote afterwards is not contrary to my opinion. However we are not talking about an agreed fasting period but a situation where the man is not satisfied.

The fact of the matter is that he is within his rights to go and get somebody else, no matter how much we may not like it. So if you dont want that to happen, its naive to unilaterally remove sex from the relationship when you are already in a weak position. Since you yourself cannot go and marry another husband yet he can go and get another wife.

I was addressing Christianity and most people I know married under religious laws (Christian/Muslim).

I am not against your post, I only stated provisions in Christianity because polygamy is not allowed.

I doubt Muslim men face denial of sex from their wives though; It is mostly a Christian man's problem.

TeeBabss:
Forget our hypocritic morality....Sleeping with girls, carrying Olosho etc, what's the big deal in that if you've fulfilled your obligation?
They've chosen that as their business, you patronize and pay them. #business
If a man wants a Virgin-wife, that's his choice and he shouldn't be criticized for that.
If man no dey patronize, how Olosho wan dey take chop". The only thing that bothers me is the case of underage girls getting f'cked up.....

You see, you cannot on one hand condone men sleeping about and on another hand complain that women are bla bla bla.

Men except gays sleep with women.

For every straight man jumping about, he is with a woman/women.

CHoccolaTE:
1. Do you believe the bolded part can be regarded as rape?
2. I am actually surprised that you put unconsented in quotes when talking about drunk sex .
Bukatyne dear, do you believe a drunk person can consent to sex?

3. And do you think women that sleep over at men's houses were not raped even if they were forcefully penetrated?

1. I am sure your question is wrong.

2. Consent goes both ways. If a man and a woman is drunk, who should give whom consent? If that drunk person kills, do we absolve them of murder?

3. Everyone has inbuilt self preservation. When a man wants to sleep with a woman, she knows and IF she is NOT INTERESTED, the onus is on her to ensure it doesn't happen. A guy signifies his interest in sleeping with a woman and said woman visits this guy or sleeps in his house and claims not to be interested; does she have a single digit IQ? The one I find most baffling is when the lady says she is no longer interested after they have started romance.

If a man doesn't want to sleep with a girl, he will run away from her at all costs.

TeeBabss:
I can't agree less with you, you made a valid point to be realistic.
But in reality 'you can't trust these girls'. They're mostly looking for a way to coverup there messed up past or bad upbringing, therein, you don't have any way to validate their claim.
When you check things out, go to some core areas or city, and see how small small girls dey misbehave sexually, you won't have any benefit of doubt for the matured ones..

But what we need is sexual education, parental education, a distinct moral structure, good mental rehab (for victims) and strong legislation against rape.

LOL. I was out with 2 friends yesterday, they now pointed a girl to me jokingly. I replied 'guys, this is child abuse, this one wey be like JS3 students'
One of them responded 'she fit look like JS3 student facially o, but down dow she be postgraduate student guy '
It's our fvcking mentality

First, once someone is below 18, anything you do is called statuory rape irrespective of why they look or what they can do.

Secondly, it is not your place to discredit someone's rape story if you do not have a contrary evidence.

crackhaus:
Right.

So if you were to pick a random percentage, how many of these 'deflowered via rape' claims would you say fall under the category of it happened while being forced at gun point, in lonely corners, or in uncompleted buildings?

I honestly cannot pick a percentage however, I will not doubt anyone who comes up with that story if I do not have proof for otherwise.

midnighter:
Its just a fact of life that men are permitted to take multiple wives but not vice versa.

If withholding of sex for an extended period without any solution is the sole reason for the man doing this then the wife only has herself to blame.

@Bold;

In Christianity, men are not allowed or encouraged to marry multiple wives or cheat.

The solution is quite simple.

Husbands and wives should give their bodies to one another without at all times unless they BOTH agree to abstain for a BRIEF period of time and come back together to bed.

czarina:
OK, so when is she removing the "HRH" title from her @?

Just curious.


Good luck to both.

I honestly wonder.

You don't want the man anymore, reject his royalty.

DeluwaTalks:
I know of a couple some years ago based on true life story.

It so happened that the husband needed to make love. Unfortunately for him, he was refused.
His cheque bounced!

On their way to work, the husband started driving carelessly and the wife cautioned him to be careful.
Deep down in the husband’s mind, he was wondering why she has to tell him to be careful.

Meanwhile, he couldn’t reveal the reason.

Where is the part 2?

crackhaus:
With friends like you, no one needs enemies.

Why?

Explorers:
Source: https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7819939/amp/Hero-dad-saw-15ft-python-attack-four-year-old-son-beat-death-sledgehammer.html

God bless Mr. Thompson and keep the lad.

RisenPhoenix:
You're losing focus here. Check the topic again and tell me how you think the wife can do better with inadequate equipment.

Our discussion had evolved.

As to your question: if the wife is interested in the husband's satisfaction, she would search for solutions:

I know Hausas have some stuff for tightening, we have kegels, we have experimenting different styles that give better friction, different cultures also have special treatment for women who have birth etc.

crackhaus:
I'm sorry but I must protest.
What does not answering my question have to do with the fights?
Is it you and I that are fighting?

Your question to me was dragged out.

I don't turn my family to a circus on NL.

RisenPhoenix:
So what do you suggest? Divorce and remarriage to a new woman after every child birth? That's an even more horrible life long term.

Husbands insisting on better treatment.

Wives doing better.

Parents teaching their wards better.

That is what I focus some of my threads and posts on.

A sexually frustrated/unsatisfied husband cannot give his maximum potential to God, himself, his family, his vocation and his society.

crackhaus:
In a society where pre-marital sex is still seen as a vice, it's not unusual that women will want to keep their perceived virtue intact by stating their first sexual encounter occurred without their consent (rape).

Note that unless the lady was abused as a child, which is where paedophilic rapes count, a teen who had a boyfriend, an adolescent who found herself in the company of guys her age, or even an adult who was in the wrong place at the wrong time, could all very easily claim to have been raped their first time just for the reason that they never wanted to have sex, but were made to it after several attempts by the guy involved.

The latter category (excluding child abuse) is almost always the prevailing category most of these women fall under, and it is the reason why some men find it hard believing the deflowered via rape claims.

When I talk rape, I like to focus majorly on pedophilic encounters or cases where girls are forced at gun point, lonely corners, uncompleted buildings etc.

Date rape (except when the girl is drugged), consent/no consent, 'going to sleep in a guy's house and he penerated when I told him to stop at MouthAction', drunk 'unconsented' sex, buyer's remorse after sex etc. snearios are honestly outside my alley.

Bewiseedet:
hahahahaahaahaa.... I trained him on how to bite. I hope he dosen't bite the hand that fed him...

You can only hope & pray

TeeBabss:
@ bukatyne
I think we're all/every sensible person should be a bit selective on who and what we believe. We tend to judge people with their physical appearance and comportment/personality.
You don't expect me to believe a well known Olosho that she was sexually abused or raped at a tender age...because that's their usual line, these days. They'll always find a way to justify what they're doing or play on your emotion.

Well, if a cool, normal girl said that, I could give her benefit of doubt.
We all created this problem bcoz we want to be doing holy holy. What's the big deal in not being a Virginn of having sex as a matured person.

@bold

That was why I created this thread.

The fact a girl is now an olosho does not negate the fact that she was raped as a child.

When a child is raped, they react in different ways:

1. They have relationships however hate sex or frigid

2. They hate men and become lebsians

3. They become asexual

4. They associate sex with love (remember most pedos butter up their victims first) and have sex with every man that comes their way looking for that love and validation

5. They associate sex with power and have sex just to have men do their bidding.

6. They enter abusive relationships or have a warped sense of relationship.

7. They always want to relieve the sexual experience and become nymphomaniacs

The fact girl A became a nympho; girl B became a les, girl C became frigid and girl D became an olosho does not negate their experiences.

It is for them to get to the bottom and heal themselves or seek help.

franchasng:
How sure are you now that I am not done with my transformation

Nope,

We must come full circle.

1st Jan 2020, just check, you will become an hermaphrodite

Bewiseedet:
lemme comfirm from Luiz. I will tell u later

And your mouth is sharp as if you started the relationship for them

I pray he bites you for not minding your business.

Hian!

crackhaus:
Bukatyne there is no point arguing this, the ways of God are not partial. I have seen and heard of so many cases of men who claim God told them a certain woman will be their wife only for the woman to turn him down simply because she has not received such ministration from God, as she should.

It does not matter whether the woman is his standard or not because when God is involved, there is really no need to fight for it or being convincing because God is perfect and just and has done all the fighting and convincing on behalf of everyone involved.
A spiritually mature Christian man would even pray for God to make his steps fruitful by making the sister pliable to his request - this is why such ventures should always go smoothly.



Working at relationships after they have begun is not the subject of our conversation here, we are talking about the meeting/courting/wooing phase.

If a man is genuinely convinced that Sister XYZ is his wife, I doubt he will leave her half way because she has not accepted him.

Yes, he will pray to God for help and get tips however, he will do the actual wooing.


Look through the Bible, all the men that got wives from God still wooed the wives themselves.

If you think because God said 'it is done', it becomes immediate, you are on your own.

Bewiseedet:
hope u are aware she is older than Luiz

No papi.

How old is she?

crackhaus:
Are these broke, poor, jobless dudes marrying the likes of Tiwa, Chidinma or Mo Abudu...or are the women they are marrying every Saturday still not within the same spectrum?

There is a difference between poor, broke educated dude who has not landed his dream job or just got a let me manage job and an uneducated, no vision broke dude.

Ideally, I do not advise people to marry outside their spectrum. I have said it here severally that I can neither marry an uneducated mechanic nor can I marry a Governor's son except I am led that either is my husband.

I have nothing in common with either of them. The mechanic might tell me that it is a sin/ laziness to use washing machine; the Governor's son might tell me that he wants a party or there is nothing wrong in taking coke.

I know this is a generalization before people eat me raw.

So I think it is over ambitiousness for a guy/lady to marry far outside their spectrum. (except led of course.)

Bewiseedet:
how old was Luiz wife when they met?

Article did not say.

Though they said they became romantically involved much later.

RisenPhoenix:
Sometimes.

Most days it's not worth the drama involved in keeping a side chick when you are married and have kids, so you manage the wife and pretend that you still enjoy it the same way .

That is a horrible way to live long term.

franchasng:
I am now genderless

Congratulations.

By next year, you will be an hermaphrodite.

Prognose:
Lol, no. It's not a requirement for post-delivery . A loose vagina is not an illness. If there's a tear we repair it. Sometimes we repair generously. If there isn't a tear you go your way.

Kegel exercises are also good. Vaginal trainers. A knowledgeable and understanding husband.
All these are alternate solutions.

Ok, good one.