₦airaland Forum

Your picture is one of the reasons your campaign is DOA.

Can we also see the rate of uneducated boys in same regions?

Could it be that they generally do not value education rather than an eloborate plan to keep girls uneducated?

Who with clean money would buy a 2nd hand jewelry for the original amount?

These people are clowns.

Some thing tells me that anyone who bids would be automatically arrested.

pocohantas:
Calling yourself King, is undermining the position of a Queen.

Use your head, oh ye troublesome woman.

You get it.

mrwonlasewonie:
do you know whether she's enjoying the rape?

She has a choice but she will rather whine and complain to online strangers,ok then,let's all be entertained

From the grave

Never forget that

She is in charge of a shop and she couldn't build wealth to disappear if the pain was so much.

No children involved to say I am staying for them

Not a housewife to say she did not have any money.

MiddleDimension:
i mean is it humur, to to mock/hail their partner, or to praise themselves? what exactly? guys do all of the above

My dear MiddleDimension,

I honestly do not understand you.

Biko shift to one dimension and explain again.

yazga:
Because majority of people acquiring the highest judicial position are men themselves. And that education does not guarantee being bereft of patriarchal values. There are core beliefs which are deeply ingrained in you since birth and no matter how much higher position you hold in academic sphere, those still remain ingrained. Moral policing and conservative patriarchal values remains one of them. As per SC criminalizing marital law will hurt the “institution of marriage”.Really?? ! “That women shall use the law for vengeance then!”

I can vouch from real life experiences that a huge majority of Indian women whom I have come across aren’t happy with their marital life. They have no other option or are “forced” to stay in those marriage because

Of societal pressure. They have no choice to decide for themselves.
They have nowhere to go because they are completely financially dependent on their husbands
The didn’t inherit anything from paternal side financially because after marriage girls were supposed to be and still considered “someone else’s property” .
Being almost disowned by family after marriage. Men’s home is her only home now. Her own home now is visitor’s paradise for her now!
Marital rape is being raised with much aggression now because women are now voicing for their rights. When today women have options to move out of abusive, incompatible marriages and self sustain themselves, why shouldn’t today. Today many women have options and hence they are demanding for themselves for what is wrong and right. Saying that in earlier times(probably in 90’s), marriages were more sacred is ignorance to the fullest. Most women had no options then, were reduced to household jobs. It was “thrust upon them , forced upon them”, and not out of “CHOICE”.

I have a brother whose wife despite being a Ph.D. chose to stay home. I never understood and often wondered how an educated person like her could choose to stay at home until I learnt that For whatever reason it is ,it was her “choice”. Having “choice” to decide for yourself and be supported with love and respect by your loved ones for what it true equality means. There is nothing bad in being a housewife if it come of healthy choices and not compulsion.That means if a man chose to stay home and wife works , he is supported with for it with respect(in and idol world!).Because , patriarchy harms as much men as women. See men who stay at home and how much they are catcalled or looked down upon.

Being financially independent doesn’t always mean living through a feminist lens. There have been cases that even being financially independent, women have no love or respect or empathy from their partners at home or in family. The whole idea of equality is to have right to make choices for one’s own life and be loved and supported from the other person unconditionally.

Most Women from 90’s never got this. I have relatives giving mental cancers whenever they open their mouth who believe god has made men more physically strong than women and hence they are superior to women. I have no second thoughts that the women in their lives would mostly be victims of their acts. Not just that. What happens inside bedrooms is a hush hush topic. Whose parents discuss their “sex life”! When did we asked women around and in ours lives if they ever did it unwillingly. “Sex” is a very private thing. Though people among today’s generation are getting open about it amongst each other , talking about it still confided around academic space mostly. I know I can still not talk to my mother about it. I may ever ask about the word “Sex” but not her own life revolving around it.

So it’s downright stupid to say that “it hurts the institution of marriage” until you have all facts , figures and stats in place from proper surveys. Find out how many women are really happy in their lives , was it willingly or forced upon things in their times(which used to be mostly an arrange marriage set up). Your myth will be busted.

I read an article where a girl returns back to her home after 2 months of her arrange marriage because her husband used to force himself on her and when she told it to her mother and sister. And to her surprise her mother rather scolded her that “why else her husband had married her. What does it means it hurts. We all do it. “It hurts us all few times”.It’s no reason to not be intimate with your husband. If you can’t satisfy him , give it to him or satisfy his “needs’, he will go somewhere else and that’s how she and only she and no one else will be responsible for her marriage failure.”(I will edit link of article if I found it) If you see the thoughts process here , elder women might have been meted out similar treatment for they are giving their daughters similar advises!!

If you can’t recognize marital rape , just simply declare that marriage does not something sacred for you as a symbol of love but rather life long sex slavery. Calling it sacrament is simply to fool others. People are more for themselves rather than saving someone else. They are more concerned with what if it’s a false case , blatantly ignoring the woes of those being victimized.

If asking for right and recognition for autonomy over one’s body and dignity hurts the institution of marriage so much , than such institutions should go down in shambles. This is about one’s body and the other person has to take permission before entering it. SC ruling shows how fragile the system it . Many may not like it but it does even matter because this is not about them , this is about those who are being slaved down in bedrooms just because somebody is physically not that strong as compared to other and you lack the basic human empathy to understand what love and consent means.

Chai!

I do long posts but

This consent goes both ways o!

While I agree that a lot of men and women have abused this, the right approach is not to yap about 'marital rape or whatever.'

It is to teach people the right thing which starts from the family unit.

How are the daughters trained? How are the sons trained?

Painful sex might not even be the husband's fault: it might be a psychological, mental or health issue.

The wife might also not be well lubricated because she is already approaching sex from a point of duty only and not excited about her man. It could also be he has hurt her a lot to get any joy from her.

Besides, women are not the only 'victims'. I know men who disrupted their schedule because their wives needed them sexually especially when they are trying for kids.

I know someone who had to reduce his physical activities cos his wife was complaining that he was always tired. She used to literally drag him then.

Men somehow seems to find a solution and not scream marital rape.

mrwonlasewonie:


Wickedt woman

Wetin I do na?

If someone is dying from 'domestic violence' in 2019 with all the awareness, whose fault?

Money?

crackhaus:
Don't be baited too easily

Can't you see that handle came out of hibernation and complete inactivity for almost two weeks, just to restart an argument she has had with you previously on your thread?

It's an alternate.

I have moved on joor.

A dead woman sending a note sounds more interesting.

[b]Hello, it's me
I was wondering if after all these years you'd like to meet
To go over everything
They say that time's supposed to heal ya
But I ain't done much healing
Hello, can you hear me?
I'm in California dreaming about who we used to be
When we were younger and free
I've forgotten how it felt before the world fell at our feet
There's such a difference between us
And a million miles
Hello from the other side
I must've called a thousand times
To tell you I'm sorry
For everything that I've done
But when I call you never
Seem to be home
Hello from the outside
At least I can say that I've tried
To tell you I'm sorry
For breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly
Doesn't tear you apart anymore
Hello, how are you?
It's so typical of me to talk about myself, I'm sorry
I hope that you're well
Did you ever make it out of that town
Where nothing ever happened?
It's no secret
That the both of us
Are running out of time
So hello from the other side (other side)
I must've called a thousand times (thousand times)
To tell you I'm sorry
For everything that I've done
But when I call you never
Seem to be home
Hello from the outside (outside)
At least I can say that I've tried (I've tried)
To tell you I'm sorry
For breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly
Doesn't tear you apart anymore
Oh, anymore
Oh, anymore
Oh, anymore
Anymore
Hello from the other side (other side)
I must've called a thousand times (thousand times)
To tell you I'm sorry
For everything that I've done
But when I call you never
Seem to be home
Hello from the outside (outside)
At least I can say that I've tried (I've tried)
To tell you I'm sorry
For breaking your heart
But it don't matter, it clearly
Doesn't tear you apart anymore[/b]
Adele.

I know the other side is not the grave but....

ImaIma1:
Everything can be discussed and figured out. Because to call someone your spouse, it means there's a connection, there's love, understanding and a pact to work together for each other's benefit.

However, I cannot say for some couples who lack the proper bond and mindset that should exist between a husband and a wife.

If one person is not up to it at a point in time and the other person takes it by force, there is something definitely not right between them. If the "not feeling up to it" is too often, they need to seriously discuss it

I very well agree with you.

Happy birthday, I wish his parents are still together.

I never heard what ruined their marriage.

doitforyou:
Go sit your ass down in your twisted household. Thank God your sick message was overwhelmingly rejected on NL by married men and women.

I see you’re now backpedaling. You give a man blanket consent to do as he wishes with your body, when he takes you up on your offer, you tell the woman she can seek redress in a phantom marriage court..lol that can only make sense to a brainwashed woman.

FYI, there is nothing wrong in being a strong independent married woman. Perhaps you needed those in your life growing up.

First, stop editting my posts: There is nothing like rape in marriage. This is my original post:

bukatyne:
So a husband has the right to manage the family's resources mean he cannot abuse it?

Do you know the meaning of abuse?

And no, I have never said there is rape in marriage.



You would not know a twisted household if it hits you in the face.

It is the Glory Osei's of this world that fits you lots ranting how she is a strong independent woman while she is married to her co-founder.

Please let us face the thread;

The prospect of a letter from the dead is more interesting than discussing martial sex life.

Perhaps after you get married, we can discuss again.

@Bold, I am not surprised you have comprehension issues neither am I the cause of your bitterness towards men.

This consent is two way; a man and woman give consent to their wife and husband on the wedding day.

At last paragraph, still reeks of no comprehension. What is a strong independent married woman? Have you ever seen someone who is independent? How does it even tie into Glory Osei's case who pretended to be a 'single independent woman' with no use for men while she was very married.

Pardon me, I am losing patience for unintelligent discussions.

If you want to engage me, please bring your brains along.

Africa!

Chai!

Shebi our own presido doubled his food and travel budget in the midst of no money?

Ebonygirl1:
Oh please. When the majority of Nigerian married men are always chasing after young girls, when would they provide so called companionship and friendship?

Don't these men show the girl chasing side before marriage?

ImaIma1:
But it doesn't mean if someone is not up to it, the other person has the right to take it 0 agogby force

@ImaIma1, you are married so we can have this discussion.

If someone is not genuinely up to it, the spouse knows in a sane marriage and would help him/her to get his/her groove back.

Even on this same NL, wives have been advised to spike their husbands' drinks, seduce him when he stops having sex with them.

Some others have been advised on all sort of concussions and drugs to give their spouses to get their MOJO back.

As a married person, if you understand that sex is a duty to your spouse, then you are able to negotiate when you are not up to it.

For instance, if a spouse is sick, the other party would definitely be more concerned about nursing them back to health before talking about sex. Some other times, the sick party might feel gentle sex would accelerate the healing.

I know a moniker who said after his wife had the second kid, she wasn't feeling sex any more.

Obviously, that would not fly so hubby asiisted in changing her diet, body positivity exercises and before you say Jack, she was back. (His account).

I remember a male friend who said he never knew sex could be a bore/chore till they were trying to conceive. Apart from the wife giving him all sort of concussions, she called him from anywhere when she was ovulating.

He was no longer interested yet he obviously could not say no till she was pregnant. Some colleagues complain that they have to do when they get home because madam will not take 'Lagos traffic' everyday before 'you are cheating abi' enters.

If a marriage has deteriorated to the point where a husband/wife is physically injuring the other party for sex or sexually abusing them, they need to seek help.

Fountainofyouth:
You are contradicting yourself here, you can't say one automatically gives consent as husband and wife in one breath, then say there is sexual abuse and rape in marriage in another breath, automatic consent means he can do whatever he deems fit to her body, so pick a side.

So a husband has the right to manage the family's resources mean he cannot abuse it?

Do you know the meaning of abuse?

And no, I have never said there is rape in marriage.

doitforyou:
I did it for the benefit of young impressionable minds that might stumble on this thread. Please post here the sick and warped vows you took that states rape (as long as there’s no physical injury) is allowed in holy matrimony. Your twisted message for your twisted household, should remain in your house not on the internet.

You would not know a twisted household if it hits you in the face.

It is the Glory Osei's of this world that fits you lots ranting how she is a strong independent woman while she is married to her co-founder.

Please let us face the thread;

The prospect of a letter from the dead is more interesting than discussing martial sex life.

Perhaps after you get married, we can discuss again.

MiddleDimension:
tell the kind of things they talk about?

Excuse me?

oloriLFC:
Na wah o. Stealing someone's happiness to make yourself happy, such evil and self-centredness! Moreover, can a pregnancy result in the birth of a four month old? Abi which kain audio pregnancy be that?

Na real audio pregnancy.

Was she pretending to be pregnant all through while looking for a baby to steal?

The story doesn't make sense.

Maybe she stole the baby for rituals.

[quote author=doitforyou post=83636201][/quote]No amount of striking would distort my message dear

Fountainofyouth:
Where is bukatyne that says there is nothing like rape and sexual assault in marriage? Oh she's here already, what say ye to that, ignoring the fact that the story is as fictitious as it sounds, I'm asking generally......

I have explained over and over.

Rape is sex without consent.

In the wedding vows, you automatically give consent to your spouse as a man and woman. Infact if the marriage is not consummated (no sex happens), it can be annulled.

There is sexual abuse like all other types of abuse in marriage. Examples of sexual abuse would include performing sexual acts the other partner finds humiliating, denying your partner sex, withholding sex for favors i.e. Using it as a bargaining chip, deliberately refusing to satisfy your partner etc.

There can also be physical assault where the husband or wife deliberately injures the other party in the course of sex.

yazga:
C'mon bukatyne& b3llo

Ma?

prestigiouslady:
Good afternoon Familanders.

I'm in dire need of advice hence my write up.
I'm a single mum of one, I got separated from my ex two years ago...though we are not officially divorced yet. After things got pretty nasty and he had to chase me back home (prior to this, my folks had wanted me to come back home due to his constant abuse)... I thought we could resolve issues, we both tried to but he's just like a smoke, he can't hide his character for too long..he's hot tempered, egoistic, and he can so mouth trash me(emotional abuse).he grew up in a home where his mum was the C in C, so he hates women trying to have a say.I must always do whatever he says not minding if I'm comfortable or not. I have my own share of the blame cos sometimes, he pushes me and I react back, so I'm not saying I'm a saint either. But my friends and family knows I'm not a trouble maker.

So I've been alone for two years, no date, no relationship cos I'm still officially married to him.. I went to see some of his friends and they told me to move on without him, its sad but they couldn't hide it anymore, he has moved on even so show casing a lady around as his new found love..but when things go down the drain between him and his gf, he comes back to me trying to see if we can make things work.

Now I have two problems here,
1. I don't want to be the one to sue for a divorce cos he will blackmail me emotionally (he tells everyone who cares to listen that he didn't chase me out of the house but I left cos I couldn't endure which is a lie from the deepest part of hell)... he doesn't want to sue for a divorce too.

2. I'm becoming too lonely, most night I cry myself to bed.. the last time we spoke, he told me "you're a very good lady, I love you but I really don't know why things arent working between us".. I know he loves me but I'm becoming too lonely and I don't want to cheat on him.

3. Around July 2016,a friend of mine (family friend) has been on my neck for a relationship, I've known him for a while, he was there for me all through when things was bad, he is a good man and he knows I'm separated (he's officially divorced to a white woman)...he's like everything I want in a man.

I really don't know what to do...do I sue for a divorce? or go into a relationship with my new guy for the main time..please help me.


Thank you

cc

Hello dear, how did you resolve this issue?

Even if they are stolen by unscrupulous elements who want to sell it, I would still blame the Govt.

Mount surveillance and make scapegoats of people you catch.

waley007:
Please help , what can I do .. My 8days old baby boy sucks breast too much , like he wants it every minute and wife is so exhausted , funnily , my baby doesn't like being covered , removes cloth from his body every time and always dragging himself from the mattress , the way he grabs my wife's breast is crazy even from the day he was born , we hardly sleep at home and this is really affecting us , what can we do please

Why do I think he took after you then and even now?

My wife's breasts viz a viz his mother's breasts.

Other posters have advised she should take more milk inducing meals like pap and milk etc.

I am here to goof

charlsecy:
What do have to say to me, and ensure a peaceful resolution?

When you are ready to get married, move out. I. E. Just move into your home from the wedding ceremony.

If your dad gave you the empty flat, maybe...

Happy Wedding Anniversary.

God continually bless your home.

MrBrownJay1:
the important question you need to ask yourself IS:
is the problem the fact that everyone else in your compound has somebody but you OR you long to have someone in your life?

Gbam!

crackhaus:
You might actually be going about this all wrong, no pun intended.

Shouldn't you be counselling women to grow some cojonés and self-confidence along with a healthy dose of self-esteem, which will stop them from marrying jerks, only to turn around and pay the jerk back after getting married to him?

You're making a case for and glorifying emotional/psychological disorders without knowing it. What else would make a human being choose to stay with another just because they are nursing a plan to hurt them back? This is classic psychopath behavior.

It's like telling a faithful man to forgive and marry his fiancée who has been round the block & back, and when he begins cheating on her after marriage, you probably gonna say 'she had it coming'.
Really?

I was going to say this.

Like I always say, when it comes to marriage, the average Nigerian man & woman is very dysfunctional.

A shitty guy would not lose his sting after marriage especially in our society where people are reluctant to separate or divorce.

The video I watched, the lady was the one jacking the guy and he seemed on the defensive side.

If genuine, it is a good one.

TruthProphet:
Misogynist spotted! You belong to the stone age.

How does that post denote hatred for women?

Mubbyleey:
It can't be only me that doesn't like seeing female referee officiating men's football match

It sickens me to my bone marrow

I have issues females officiating males' matches.

Let same sex officiate matches joor.

I also don't like cross sex coaches. I don't know why our girls can get a sexy foreign female coach if there is no Nigerian qualified to do so.

@OP:

Opportunity comes once in a while and she might be a fan of Kaka.

EFCC, please release Mompha and arrest her.

One less brainless babe off the streets.