₦airaland Forum

GreatResearcher:
wat do u mean? I just droppd an advice for d married ones.

crackhaus:
We are talking about financial independence in a marriage setting NOT in the true sense of independence.
Where are you going with the deflections?

crackhaus:
Don't join in this gross misinformation which has become an anthem on the pages of the internet. It is a lie.

In the days of our grandparents and great-grandparents, women worked. There are more housewives today than it was in those days.
Farming was the major source of livelihood and who do you think did the harvesting and selling of farm produce in the markets? Women.
Most times it was even across villages miles apart, these women did those things and still handled chores in the home front when they got back.
The men only cultivated the lands and planted, lands which were usually in their backyards.

It wasn't until the missionaries and colonial masters began introducing menial/manual jobs in the form of factories, railway building, construction, etc that men began leaving home to work for salaries.

Don't take my word for it, ask about your ancestral history and confirm this. I know things about my great-grandparents and great-great-grandparents from stories that were passed down. There was NEVER anything like a housewife in those days.

Plead:
You might have used the term at one point or the other . Not saying you have used it

I’ve seen a lot of women calling themselves “independent woman” on social media (mostly Instagram ,Twitter and here on nairaland ) that’s why I said I’m sure you must have also used the term at one point?

Crackhaus was talking about financial independence in marriage and not the kind of independence you were deviating to.

crackhaus:
Buka what are you typing?

Western women more open to being housewives?
Western courts provide for the needs of non-earning spouses from the earning spouse?

Lol

Plead:
Why are some women always calling themselves independent “woman” then?

I’m sure you yourself must have at one point or the other tagged yourself an “independent lady”


Cc crackhaus postmann

Plead:
What? I’m married

Octopusssy:
Someone posted screenshots of you advising women to divorce cheating partners. Oya you sef follow the advice you have been giving people. If you don't divorce your husband then you are a very big hypocrite and one of the society's problems.

Oya, we are awaiting feedback. Divorce your husband!

Zainab20198:
I recently found out my husband of 5 years has been cheating on me , he accidentally left his Facebook account open on my laptop and I read everything. He told this girl he loves her and want to spend the rest of his life with her, I confronted him and his side of things is I have been pushing him away to care for our very high needs 2 years old triplets sons and my sons needs constant attention , it’s very tiring working , caring for the kids and keeping the house clean with no house help. I know I have my faults , and all my energy goes into the kids and trying to keep the households running , so there isn’t much left at the end of day. I’m always tired and once the kids are sleeping I’m far to tired to do anything ... like sex. He knows all this yet I’m at fault. I feel heart broken , I try to talk to him and he just blames me , even if I’m in wrong , how is cheating justified by what I have done ? I don’t know what to do ?

AwkaetitiBabe:
No need for upkeep money as she is free to take money from the joint accounts at her own discretion. Men use the monthly upkeep money as a tool to make women submit.

EkunKekere:
Sigh. From reading all the comments above, it is clear that there are a lot of dummies on this forum and the meaning of this touching story is completely lost on them.

leokid866:
If you want to read Script raise your hand.....at the end of the day rules and guidelines will be published....follow them accordingly and you shall be able to read.

Kelvin30286063:
Thank you. The dog issue has been resolved. Though the dog is still with out but she doesn't stay indoor anymore. Now has a cage outside in the compound even though she's an indoor pet dog.

leokid866:
Absoultely nothing.....just make sure you as husband read Script.

MiddleDimension:
women also discuss their sexual adventures among themselves, right?

crackhaus:
This is so not a Nigerian thing. Working wives doing chores is still a big discussion in 'most other cultures' as you put it.
Don't let what these chics type here make you think otherwise.

Let's not digress anyway

PrimadonnaO:
You don’t even have shame.

Plead:
Same way...joint

Btw we have househelps.

crackhaus:
More married women fit into this generalization than married men.

Kelvin30286063:
My wife and I got married almost a year ago. Last November. Before that we dated for about 6 years before we got married and we were always very happy. We do everything together and everything was just perfect.
Now after our marriage, the first 5 months was blissful until she started expecting pregnancy. At first she was not worried, neither was I.

I have actually never been worried cuz I know it's definitely early and we have all the time in the world (she's only 25)
Now she's going into a state of depression. Every month she will be so expectant that she will start looking out for all pregnancy symptoms as if her life depends on it. Then once she sees her menstrual cycle, she comes very depressed and sad.
I hate to see her sad. Infact it gives me so much pain when I see her sitting alone looking so moody and unhappy and I have tried so many times to speak to her, convince her that she needs to be patient. Though she always lighten up whenever I do but that happiness is only short lived cuz as soon as she see her MP again, the sad face comes bad.

On the pregnancy front, we've done some tests are different hospitals and they told us that we are both medically okay. The doctors advice we take things slow and not worry about it but she's not listening to any of that.
The most annoying part is nobody is pressuring her. My parents are very understanding people and they have not even mentioned it at all since we got married. So what the heck is wrong with her!
I understand that over the years, she must have noticed my obsession with babies and she's really eager to make me happy but at this point, I'm ready to give that up as long as she is happy.

She just saw her menstrual cycle today, she's been moody all day and that mood is gradually killing me.
I think I'll just stay away from her for some months so I can get my woman back. At least she will be happy if she's not expecting any positive result at the end of the month.

What do you guys think I can do to make her take her mind off this pregnancy ish?

Plead:
combination of joint and individual accounts....while some parts are unified and can’t be spent without both of us consent ,some areas are separated and can be spent without either of us consent.

crackhaus:
This is how I always know I'm on a Nigerian forum. I'd be hard pressed to find something like this on Reddit.

crackhaus:
I agree.

In addition to that, I believe feminists, psuedo-feminists, SJWs, in fact, any woman who claims to be a strong independent woman by attaching herself to any of these listed labels, ought NOT to expect to be given "upkeep" as a matter of principle.

Oh how I hate this word, "upkeep".

For wives (working or not) who deserve it, I'd rather refer to it as an 'honorarium'.

chukzyfcbb:
I don't know you but having gone briefly through your topics, I want to say your mind is amazing. It travels beyond the ordinary!

I like the depth of your thoughts, I just followed your profile so I can see what next mind simulating topic you will churn out on NL. Nicey!

LordKO:
You aren't just a healthy living advisor extraordinaire, you're also an icon of fairness.

Kudos.

pocohantas:
A fashion faux pas is simply fashion gaffes/mistakes.

Brunt654:
Not permission per se... But she could spoken with him at least. That's what a sane person would do

Brunt654:
Without his permission

Khaleell001:
Essentially, but also for pleasure within the CONFINES of marriage only.