₦airaland Forum

Everytime one hears a news out of this Govt, it is designed to demoralize.

The same Govt claimed that the country needs more funds so they are increasing VAT and introducing other means to syphon money from her citizens.

Yet they have the conscience to double their feeding and travel allowance?

So in essence, Mr. President wants to increase VAT on the goods I buy and place about 20% duty on goods I buy outside the country above N50k so he can increase his food and travel allowance?

Is there still hope for Nigeria?

Omojudy:
They hold for general infertility and men come out nowadays.

True.

On my matrimonial home,

A bead I made for myself on my 12th birthday.

It is 19yrs old.

In my matrimonial home,

A bead I made for myself on my 12th birthday.

It is 19yrs old.

Octopusssy:
That's the thing. People come here to dish out all sorts of advice that they can't apply to their own situations. That's why we should be very careful the kind of counsel to follow

True.

This one pass me.

Acidosis:
You won't understand the power behind that 'No'. Just read it and pretend you didn't see it.

Wetin be my own?

I nor get time for una innuendos and power play so I stayed clear.

How can they charge N165k for N507k?

Why is this Govt so inhumane?

Acidosis:
I won't say the idea is bad or good but there are times your partner want to discuss a need with you for approvals. Don't just provide a fixed monthly stipend because "you want to be a man".

Allow her seek your consent. Say "NO" to her requests sometimes, with or without a sensible reason. Whether she worked for the money (as in her salary) or not, she still needs your consent sometimes on what or what not to buy.

But ensure you make yourself an example by operating an open-system. What you do with your money should be known.

@bold:

I can't wrap my head around this.

A husband should tell his wife no for no reason when she seeks his consent to buy something with her money?

Can the wife also say no to the man or he just informs her?

LewsTherin:
Methinks you mean having the kids manually wash their clothes instead of using a washing machine. Even if just some of the time.

Flip side to that will be you trekking to work instead of using a vehicle. After all, manual labour builds character, right?

My daughter is 5 years old. She helps load the machine, she helps bring them out and hangs them to dry. She has been taught the importance of being clean and keeping her clothes clean. That is character.

I am picturing your princess as a little girl with the red hair in the OP.

jeff1607:
A colleague once said he would never allow his wife use a washing machine because it would make her lazy ( she does all the laundry for both hubby and new born baby)

I just smh

She likes him like that.

Breaststroke:
I think they should be taught how to hand wash and how to use a washing machine as well.

Growing up my aunt taught me something that still works today, she said if I have a stubborn stain on a piece of cloth that won't go away I shouldn't soak it in bleach, bleach weakens materials.

What she advised was that I rob a generous amount of bathing soap (imperial leather, lux, any kind) on the stain, soak in water for 30 minutes or more, hand wash and then spread, making sure the stained part directly faces the sun. The stain often disappears afterwards.

Knowing how to hand wash is useful for secondary/boarding school too. I say equip/empower kids in every way possible, so if one way is not available, another way can be used.

I agree with you.

Teach kids as many life skills as possible.

LordKO:
You're almost right, however on this "The downside was that the men's words were law and upon the breakdown of the marriage, the wives did not leave with a pin so the marriage must not break." It will always depend on the man's ethical leanings - a humane Igbo man will never leave his wife empty handed in the event of divorce, regardless of who/what caused it and who made the most money in the cause of the marriage/while the marriage lasted. Also, a humane Igbo man will never subjugate his wife, so the wife will always have her voice, strong-minded (independent-minded) Igbo women who're happily married to Igbo men abound everywhere - what's true is this regard is that she'll lose her liberty to crassness in particular and expedient manner in general. Crassness isn't something to brag with.

The family system aristocratic Igbo families have been practicing is akin to what's obtainable in the core Western families - so, you're right where you asserted that "Western women more open to being housewives." There's no shame in being a housewife anywhere in the world, even though, personally, I lean on both sides. Emancipation of women in all facets is attractive, regardless of economic standing of each woman as an individual.

That said, emancipation of women in every facet isn't an issue for me as an egalitarian, however, there's nothing more repulsing than seeing a woman (or a man where and when applicable) working towards emancipation for anything with the sole purpose to subjugate others, those around her, near or far.

Liberty without decorum is a disease - in other words, liberty doesn't negate conscientiousness in particular and altruism in general. The havoc ill-aimed emancipation has caused the family system in particular and the world in general is unquantifiable.

I agree with you.

I know Igbo men who cherish their wives.

I was just speaking on the obtainable model.

Liberty without decorum is truly a disease.

Hmmmmmmmmm

Tiwa Tiwa.

Be ladylike outside even if you are sexually loose.

sassysure:
Which igbo wife and where?
Is it the igbo wives in anambra, Enugu, imo, abia and ebony states and some other parts of Nigeria?

If I tell you that the Yoruba wives I knew during my short stay in Lagos did nothing except owambe, hardly cook for their kids even though their husbands provided money, or, that they always buy watery beans and bread, groundnut and soaking garri for their kids, won't u say I'm biased meanwhile it's what I observed?
Pls stop talking about what u don't know.

I wonder why you are taking this personal.

I grew up in that area so I know what I am talking about. The wives during conversations with my mum reinforced that.

Housewifery in Igbo marriages are not new or strange.

@bold: You are very correct. Some of those women would even use their children fees for asoebi and jewelry.

Children out of wedlock would also strive in such communities especially as Yorubas don't really discriminate kids once the father accepts the responsibility.

Bleaching nko? Na them.

A dark SS3 girl would be fair three years later with a kid.

@Sassysure, by now you should know I am a very objective person and each tribe or community have their virtues and vices.

sassysure:
U outrightly termed most igbo women party women and women who don't normally leave their houses except to go to market.
Really bukky?

My post was observatory and not degoratory.

Both systems are flawed in my opinion.

The Igbo wife was kept and expected to take care of the home alone. (with or without help though mostly with).

The Yoruba wife went out, contributed to the home financially and still expected to take care of the home alone (with or without help).

The Igbo wife would obviously be more relaxed and receptive to her husband and kids.

OtemAtum:
Church power is not the power of God, it's the power of emotions. God does real things scientifically, not all those falling shits they do in your churches.

We are saying same thing.

The dude wanted to impress his aunt that he was arrested by the power of God confirming the authenticity of the pastor.

That is a lie.

He was arrested or he wasn't.

crackhaus:
I understood it, does not mean you are right.

Are you about to create another dictionary definition of 'Housewife'?

I introduced that to buttress my point.

I see you are just winding me.

crackhaus:
My submission on the idea of housewives being relatively a new invention, is based off the pre-colonial period.

By the time salaried jobs became the source of income in families, men are the ones who got most of the jobs particularly due to physical strength.
It's the same reason men were educated more than women - the time and concentration it took to earn a degree would have made women ditch the markets which was the only way farm produce could be turned into cash. It made sense for the males to go to school while females continued in the farms and selling what they harvest.

Ok

slapandfall:
I play drums in church. i went to night vigil from Work after that VI/Lekki traffic.
when pastor was preaching i was sleeping on the drums, na so i fall yakata for ground and the whole drum scatter with big noise

Everybody was shocked even the other people who were sleeping screamed Jesus from sleep cos they were all shocked by the sudden loud noise.

Pastor was just looking at me and i just open my mouth for ground cos i no fit talk.

I just carry my bible dey go house

Hahahahaha

Sorry.

Mood11:
Years ago, the whole family went for a vigil together. When it was time for deliverance, the Charismatic brother was calling people in batches. When he called for children, I stepped out like the others and before I know what's up, anybody he lays hands on will jerk jerk jerk and fall then other Charismatic would help the person up... I was trying to decide if the falling was intentional or it was truly the holy ghost in action...
When it was my turn, he laid hands on my forehead and was praying furiously like he did to the others but I didn't fall or should I say the thing no catch me..
I opened one eye and saw my aunt looking at me, then I made up my mind to impress her by falling before they say I am possessed.. Na so I fall backward o, hit head for heard alter floor and passed out

That was dangerous.

You don't play with the power of God.

If you were not arrested to fall, stand your ground.

gonkin:
If you're worshipping with us for the first time, i was the only one

What is embarrassing in it?

udoekere:
My most embarrassing moment in church was when i wore a newly bought package shirt to church just to impress ma crush who was just a new member in the church.

That day i went to church very early just to sit at the front seat where i will be seen by everybody.
And the church was over crowded since we were having a convention,so i was walking to and fro,and also will be the first to stand up to dance when a song is been played by the praise team.
Little did i know that i had a stained on ma shirt due to the dirtiness of the iron i used to iron ma cloth in the evening.

I didn't know,i was just busy dancing and glancing at ma crush not until one guy like that walked up to me and whisper in ma ear " Bro's you get stain for the back of your shirt " so i had to go outside and confirm and lo and behold the back of ma shirt was messed up with a very big dirt...i was embarrass and left church not to change up but never to return no more.

Good for you

So what happened to the crush?

Naijaboy1122:
I will write jamb next year

Congrats.

And your persistence if kept up will take you places.

crackhaus:
This is certainly obvious from your comments a lot of times.
No let your head swell

The head that haff burst.

Gracias.

crackhaus:
Tell you what na?

So a housewife is now also that woman who is employed in a less stressful job and works less time?

You clearly understood that post.

crackhaus:
Lol.

You'll have to dig farther into the times when farming was their major occupation to confirm or refute your bias.

I am serious.

I grew up in an all Igbo community (we were just two Yoruba on a very long street) so I have first hand experience on some of their way of life.

We've had a similar discussion where I told you that housewifery or a man fully responsible for home financially is not a Yoruba thing.

In fact, an housewife or financially non-contributing wife is called alabodo (someone you feed to fvck). To not say that there are no outliners.

Igbos however pride themselves in fully financing the home (I see this even in my colleagues with working wives). Growing up, most of the Igbo wives literally did not leave the house except to market or parties while you saw the husbands hustling (legit and non). The downside was that the men's words were law and upon the breakdown of the marriage, the wives did not leave with a pin so the marriage must not break.

Comparing this to pre-colonial times when everyone farmed, where was the cultural shift for them?

Igbos can also pitch in.

theButterfly:
BC

Before Christ?

LordKO:
Formally and rationally, there's nothing like independent woman (man) anywhere - human beings will always remain interdependent on each other - one is either independent-minded/strong-minded or expedient or headstrong. So, when some people throw around the "independent woman" cliche, they mean they're economically emancipated.

One can be economically emancipated without being independent-minded (and vice versa) - it's a case of materialism vs immaterialism respectively. Independent-mindedness is the major hallmark of a principled/spiritual person. However, there's a thin line between it and expediency; for example, both expedient woman (person) and independent-minded woman are usually vocal, but you'll always know the expedient woman for her hypocritical disingenuousness.

I agree with you.

crackhaus:
Less hours and less stressful jobs does not make one a housewife , but I get where you're going.

@bold:

Tell me something

crackhaus:
Was there ever a time that farming was the prevalent source of livelihood in Igbo society? If yes, then it was obtainable.

When we talk housewifery in Nigeria, Igbos are the poster child hence my question.

crackhaus:


They should drag her very well oo.
These women here need to understand that the divorce solution they so easily administer is not that easy to follow through if they were in similar situations.

I remember typing something to you sometime last week or so about how majority of the females on NL forgive/have forgiven/will forgive their cheating husbands. Most of them are also the ones doing all the chores in their homes despite working.
The internet just provides a platform to share an idealized version of how marriages should be, not how it really is for them.

True people project their fantasies alot online.

Some others can see clearly until it is their turn.

Others realize that people bring half baked stories here to look like saints.

But the OP nor try sha.

Three divorce advises back to back with calling the husbands names.

I try to internalize situations and analyze critically before I advise.

I also search to see if I have real life references of the end point for further guidance.

I believe we would all give account of our words and actions to God. Whether typed, said or written.

With that in mind, I don't dish what I can't follow.