₦airaland Forum

Yioshio:
What exactly did she say

My brother,

God will bless you this blest Sunday.

I have scrolled up 2x thinking I was missing something.

DenreleDave:
TBH, If you claim that you love a guy or a lady and you dumped her/him because he cheated on you, then you are not ready for marriage.

Marriage is all about tolerance, forgiveness and continuity...


Maybe that's why I'm not ready too sha, I can't just imagine my babe cheat on me.. Chai.....


Cc: Lalasticala midnighters mistyebby RedCreme21 BlueAir blinking001

This is cheap emotional blackmail.

Let's start from the basics.

If someone loves you, they wouldn't cheat on you.

And forgiveness is different from acceptance.

Wouldn't selling the app to them make more sense?

Thinking out loud.

Congratulations to him.

mrwonlasewonie:
Reasons for her actions

1.she doesn't trust you
2.she thinks that you might take advantage of her and r@pe her since she's in your house (after all we've read countless stories of ladies who went to visit a male friend or boyfriend that was r@ped) and people went on a blaming spree, did he force you to go to his house?if you don't want sex why did you Go to his house,etc
3. Her friends might have warned her to be weary of you but in all you need to sit her down talk to her,let her feel safe with you and earn her trust.

She might also be going through a traumatic situation sha

Isn't she stupid to waste three years of her life on a guy she doesn't trust?

cococandy:
It’s so sad that your family does not love you.

Your fiancé (let’s call him that) is probably still resenting you because he feels that you didn’t do enough to stop your family from disrespecting him and his family. I tell you those feelings can run deep and they do linger. As you can see, That’s when things started going bad between both of you.

Your family needs to apologize to him. Wholeheartedly.
If family meeting has to be called for it to happen, then so be it. Your sister, uncle, mom, all y’all.

From your narrative, he was the only one who was there for you when your family turned their backs on you and you guys paid him back with ugliness. He might have gone ahead with the introduction to save face at the moment but became emotionally detached afterwards .

YOU PEOPLE NEED TO APOLOGIZE!!!

What I see here:

Her baby daddy is a 'my family, my family' person.

The OP's family disgraced (provide a deeper word?) the guy's family which the guy has not forgiven.

Unfortunately, he wanted to give her marriage and a home for kids.

She has given him the kids, no incentive to give her the marriage anymore.

OP should seek his and family's forgiveness, start all over again and they will be fine.

She also needs to bone her family to show that it wasn't a game plan.

I doubt that family of hers would apologize, she shouldn't count on it.

So pathetic.

God console the bereaved family.

Govt should stand up and do something.

adebayo10977:
I will do it for so many reasons, I'm currently battling with it right now, my girlfriend is pregnant and I'm not sure whether I'm fully responsible for it or not.... But DNA will reveal it when it's time...

Fully responsible?


I find this funny!

Can there be a half father?

Sirpaul:
My friend has been disturbing me to watch the movie he acted. I finally did, I saw him fanning the king from Part 1-3.

Is it bad he started from somewhere?

And he shouldn't call you friend...

You are at best his frenemy.

@arole:

Congrats to him.

When I say the average Nigerian woman cannot respect a gentleman, it seems far stretched.

There is a difference between banter like 'where is madam' etc. and opining any man who comes to the market is a woman or only a stingy man goes to the market bla bla bla.

Just have permanent customers and when they throw nonsense talk, give them a freaking stern face.

They are 'Nigerian' women, treat them like they deserve.

This madam get mind sha.

Jacking policeman's shirt at 1am that they should kill you.

She probably left her duplicate life at home.

Kilamiti:
Mizwanneka is not a makeup artist. She's a hair seller and a very good one at that. My mother taught me one thing of which I can never forget till I get old. Whenever you see these uniform men and women, please throw all your pride out if the window. Ahhh officer, good day SIR, yes Sir, shun Sir, how are you Sir, yes Sir. Ahhh my officer, na hustle I dey hustle oh.i no con get small bread to give una today kaiiii. Sorry Sir. allow them do their work. If they want to search Pls respectfully assist them open anywhere in your car they want to search. Once these officers see that you are a level headed person, believe me you have no problems except you encounter a certain kind. Act like a mumu. Greet them. Ahhhh officer I for buy una cold water for this hot weather but this money wey I no get today nawa ohhhhh. It won't take you anything to act like a goat till they release you to go. But if you want to start claiming right and speaking big English for them,NA YOU SABI. they are drunk and that few minutes can take them to waste your life of which NIGERIA will move on without giving your family justice. This method has worked for me like magic! even with the drunk police officers.

I was telling my colleagues this and they said I was an enabler.

Congratulations.

God be with him.

Husband is not taking of them at all and yet she tells the court to mandate him to keep paying school fees.

Something is off with that.

Ugmama:
** MARRIAGE LESSON 101 **
Please when a young couple have misunderstanding / fight for a minor reason and the husband packs out of his house leaving his wife and two children. What does it imply ? What should the wife do ?

What happened?

chii8:
I saw this thread for the first time but it got me thinking, my first child is 9+,but my mum is on IUCD(the day,she told me this, I think it slipped
from her mouth)which means she and my Papa is still sexually active, l have never reasoned this before, no wonder they(my parent) do reject any form of live-in House help, chaiiii.....


Ife n'eme...

Hahahaha

How old are your parents?

I intend to think of retirement at 70.

I have only one man to myself and intend to use all of him and submit all of myself to be used too .

@amarachi06:

Did you convince your husband to marry you with Pregnancy?

If you didn't, thinking that you will no longer get his love because of your miscarriage is a strange way to think.

Also, that thinking also tells me you somehow gave up after that pregnancy. The question is why?

Did doctors tell you that the 2016 pregnancy was the last you could have? If so why?

From your post, it is also easy to conclude that you are the one with the issues (confirmed from the doctors or something you have done in the past).

Do I think you would leave this marriage? No. However, let me tell you that if a spouse keep insisting that the other should leave, sooner or later the person will.

I have seen marriages 'improve' when the wife has a boy, has the number of kids the husband wants etc. So having babies might most likely make yours bearable.

My advise (this is tailored towards you having your kids):

Go to a fertility clinic and confirm what the problem really is. If possible, take your husband along with you.

They would also give you a treatment plan which you should follow religiously.

If he is not sleeping with you, device a creative means to get his sperm.

You can also explore surrogacy if he is open to it.

Whatever you do, keep your eye on the ball: Having your own babies.

If this marriage fails, adopt!

And bear in mind that he most likely has kids outside if he is fine.

Good luck.

crackhaus:
Lol, I think I can read you a little bit
I assumed that was the reason, but needed you to confirm it.

Do you know how many times I opened this thread yesterday, hit reply, and then changed my mind about typing a response to the topic? Probably about three or four times.
I was going to ask how come people are not telling her to leave the man, but something kept telling me to chill a little and not rock the boat before posters will say crackhaus has come again with wahala...then I saw your comment, and I just started laughing my pants off because you were actually 'ranting' my sentiments in a very funny talking-to-yourself fashion.

I don't know what she is still doing there when her husband has told her to scram if she so desires.
This is the self-esteem, confidence, and fvck society ballz I was asking you to tell to your sisters to develop on that other thread, it is very necessary for their own mental health in the long run.

@bold:

I am not alone after all.

I read some threads, think to myself 'bukatyne you can't deal, this is too damaged' and just exit the thread.

@Self-esteem: I don't know what parents teach their kids. Perhaps, that is why I hate the 'stay for kids' advise. It ruins generations.

And nobody can convince me it is religion and Christian vows of 'till death do you part'. It is not else the men would not be diving out of the marriages or advised to for wives not cooking dinner by 2pm.

@UjuJoan2:
At the end of the day, everyone is responsible for their choices in life.

There is no phantom society that holds people to ransom.

They just lack the will to live life on their own terms.

sassysure:
The post was shocking.
I have always said it, we Nigerian women enable our men and also push them to do some funny and unthinkable things so that we will belong.
And when they start treating us cruelly, we will start crying and screaming.
Just look at these two ladies.
One married a career politician with no work and another is telling her to continue praying for miracle to happen.
What miracle?
Politicians that have made us the poverty capital.of the world?
That kill with impunity?
That divert money meant for development for personal use?
I give up.


I have studied the Nigerian adult world a lot
Our men are pressurised so much by society to live up to a certain standard. Once u don't meet such, your mum, sisters ,relatives, girlfriends and wives will come for your neck. How u meet up to those standards is none of their business.
They want to shine. It's a huge burden. Now if they make that money, they will start treating you like trash as the know u value money more than them.
Sometimes I don't blame those that castigate women a lot. They had their experiences with our women.
I just hope we will do away with that killer mindset.

The more you relate with the average Nigerian, the more you understand that we have no morality.

You would also understand that the men and women fit each other.

I have since figured that an average 'Nigerian' women wouldn't respect a gentle man so the average 'Nigerian' man treats his woman like trash to keep her on 'her toes' and respectful.

EFCC was still complaining that the mother of Yahoo boys' have started forming an association: https://punchng.com/updated-mothers-of-yahoo-boys-now-have-an-association-magu/

The more one looks, the less one sees and understands.

sassysure:
Praise and pray to God always so the husband's political career will hit big
Are u ignorant of what Nigerian politicians do?
Are you?

Welcome to the Nigerian Christian praying to the Nigerian god.

Nlolodo:
A young lady of igbo descent has revealed in a video posted online that it is very bad for an igbo woman to fart in the presence of her husband.

The beautiful lady made reference to a certain igbo woman who's currently having issues with her husband, over the fact that she farted in his presence and refused to apologize even when her husband demanded from her an apology.

Click the link below to watch the video

https://www.instagram.com/p/B4hHB92Bkuw/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

I have gone through the thread and seen all the rukus.

Is it that there was once a culture like that abolished due to 'civilization' or is it that it never existed?

deltateam:
Man that couldn't provide for 1 wife is the one you advise to marry 4 wives!

Toor!

I was finding a solution no ni.

GistOffer:
A middle-aged man has filed an appeal before a Yola Upper Area Court after an area court in the same Yola North LGA of Adamawa State granted a request for divorce by his wife over his ‘obsession with sex.’

Both man and wife live in the Modibbo Adama University of Technology town of Girei, in Girei LGA of Adamawa State.

The wife (name withheld) had earlier sought for dissolution of her marriage on grounds that each time she had sex with her husband (name withheld), she sustains injury.

She told the Nassarawo Area Court in Jimeta, Yola North, that her man is stronger than her, that his obsession for constant and prolonged sex is beyond her.

She said her problem is worsened by neglect, as he does not give her food nor provide her other basic needs.

She asked the court to dissolve the marriage, which was contracted on February 26, 2016.

The Nassarawo Area Court granted the relief after due process, but the husband, dissatisfied with the decision of the court, went to Sharia Court of Appeal, Yola, which referred the matter to Upper Area Court 3 for review.

At the resumed sitting of the Upper Area Court presided over by Umar Isa, the Court adjourned hearing on the suit to November 13, 2019.

Gist from Gistmore
http://gistmore.com/man-appeals-as-court-grants-marriage-dissolution-over-too-much-sex

I was reading to see what the problem really was.

Alas, it is the bolded.

I thought Islam allowed marrying of four wives? So why didn't the wife advise him to marry more wives?

Or is the husband too poor to?

How do peeps feel comfy doing these nonsense in public?

fieryy:
Well, your name here is "YourCoffin"

Hahahahahahaha!

elektra:
I identify more as agnostic than Christian. I go to church once in a while to mingle and make friends.

I have dated a Nigerian guy that knew that I was not much of a churchgoer. After a while, he started questioning why I don't go to church.
Every Sunday, after I tell him I did not go to church, he will remind me that he wants his wife to be a prayer warrior.
But this person NEVER WENT TO CHURCH EITHER.
I have not even finished praying for myself. I wish him good luck wherever he is.
This particular Nigerian had no interest in going to church, yet he expected the complete opposite from his spouse.

. Very funny.

cooooooks:
Are any free thinkers, agnostics, atheists, etc here dating/married in Nigeria or dating/married to Nigerians?

How was the journey and what advice do you have?

Serious thread.

I believe you mean church and mosque goers because if the average religious person in Nigeria practice what they were taught, we wouldn't be where we are.

This is interesting.

The lady just found out that the guy is not the father?

Bobo should just end the relationship and do DNA test after the baby is born.

If he is yours, care for him. If he isn't, move on.

And thank your Mama's eleda that this is not 20yrs after.

@crackhaus:

Please read this article and comments:

https://www.nytimes.com/2017/03/31/opinion/sunday/do-millennial-men-want-stay-at-home-wives.html

OluwasureGig:
Hustle o make dem use because of you open thread for nairaland

Did the OP say he is rich?

Stop overestimating the power of money

foodthought:
There's this guy in my department.. He's handsome no doubt and he dresses a little bit cool.... He has this base voice and a beard which makes he look more mature than most guys in the department...

Girls are all over him and he doesn't talk to anyone... I mean he barely talks in the department...

I thought girls only needed guys that are funny and cool, but this guy barely talks and still gets the ladies attention....

I want to be like this.... Is this a red pill something or what?

He looks mature

He is an enigma

Perhaps they want to be the one to 'break' into him.

InvertedHammer:
/
The North are politically savvy more than the South.

When they want to destroy a Southerner or for some unpopular national assignment, they hire a Southerner to do the yeoman job.

Once used, they discard the slowpoke like an orphan to face the wrath of his people.

/

The North understand politics.

They are the real politicians in Nigeria.

The rest of us are just puppets.

That's why I laugh when I see anyone talk of supporting the North:

They are just using the fellow till further notice.

MelesZenawi:
We are talking about failures of Osibanjo, you dreaming about 2023.

Sorry for you.

Failures of Osibanjo?

You mean Osibanjo failed while Buhari passed thus far?

Wetin Musa no go see for gate