₦airaland Forum

Eunoiaa:
Oh, but they are.

Are men humans and women animals? Do women have air floating in the skulls, and men don't? Or women stool through their vaginas and men through their joysticks? Abi women are sub-standard/inferior beings? Or maybe it is your understanding of sameness that differs from the meaning of sameness that feminists talk about.

Men & women are equal in worth; created in the image & likeness of God; have the Spirit of God etc. There is nothing same about them; they are created for different purposes; have different functions and as such cannot compare themselves.

5 & 6 are equally numbers; yet, 5 or 6 do not need to benchmark themselves with one other or other numbers to know their worth.

Only women who think men are superior need to benchmark themselves with men.

Frankly, today, when I hear a woman is a feminist & starts telling me how men are yada yada yada, women are bla bla bla, I hear a woman who inherently believes she is inferior.

I imagine the Oni of Ife comparing himself to the Oba of Benin or trying to prove they are equals or Minister of Power trying to prove he is same with Minister of Foreign affairs.

Gerrard59:
Not entirely true. Most feminists, especially the liberals, can get sex anytime they want. They are the ones who indulge in lesbianism, frolick with sugar daddies, engage in pegging, love-vendor girls to wealthier men etc. They are the ones who throng house and beach parties. A feminist anywhere can get sex if she wants. In fact, most women who engage in wanton sexual intercourse tend to espouse feminist ideals since feminism offers freedom. That freedom means they can do whatever they like, and that includes having different sexual partners. It is this sexual freedom that made Chimamanda to say "it is the men that are benefitting".

@bold:

I thought men and women are the same

So Chiamamanda has enough awareness to know that 'sexual freedom' for women is bullocks?

Again, I read her books; I honestly think that woman discovered a niche that makes money and stuck with it. She doesn't strike me as espousing most of the things she teach or project.

Same as Beyonce.

etrange:
You may not see it because you aren't the one on the receiving end, and that's okay. The problem only arises when it's presented to you and you still find ways to dismiss them. I'll give you a few and it's going to be one hell of a long list:

- Do you know that ladies don't get late parent's inheritance in many traditional settings?
- Do you know that a man can send his wife parking without a dime in Nigeria regardless of how long they've been together?
- Do you know there's a huge pay gap between men and women at work?
- Do you know that ladies are still forced into marriage today?
- Do you know that many landlords won't rent out thier spaces to single ladies today?
- Do you know child marriage is still a thing today?
- Do you widows are still made to go through spiritual rites to prove they didn't kill her husband?
- Do you know some ladies still get mutilated?
- Do you know fathers beat thier daughters to pup for having a boyfriend?
- Do you know that men are considered first for management positions at work and political positions, and ladies are only considered when their track records are overly obvious? This implies that women need to work twice as hard to be there.
- Do you know that many educated women are doing small businesses today because thier husbands believe "someone has to run the home" or because their spouses are threatened by the the possibility of them becoming career ladies?

The list is endless, yet all these are more or less institutional and they are NOTHING compared to societal perception and gender stereotypes below:

- Do you know that women are judged by what they put on but we all went on a huge protest when SARS started profiling guys based on thier outfit/hairstyle.
- Do younknow that a woman with a cheating husband is expected to fight for her marriage and find a way to regain his interest while a cheating wife should be sent home?
- Do you know that when a lady get raped today, many people still ask "what was she doing at his place? What was she wearing? Why did she accept his money? Etc."
- Do you know that when a man commits a crime, we all come on this app to criticize him, but when it's a lady, everyone starts insulting the gender "fear women", "Nigerian women are useless", "women of now-a-days", etc.
- Do you know that when a corps member sleeps with his students who indicated interest in him and creates a thread about it on here, many people gather to talk about how these girls are spoiled and not about the adult that took advantage of a teenager?
- Do you know that Davido went around sleeping with different women and getting them pregnant and him that slept with multiple people isn't a hoe, but the individuals he slept with are called hoes even though they were exclusive with him when it happened?
- Do you know that most families reduce the potentials of thier girl child by teaching her how to be a good wife and not how to survive on her own? She does the cleaning and cooking, she learns how not to dress, she learns how to speak gently like a lady, etc. while the boys go out there to explore, make mistakes, learn from them and build the confidence required to push through life as an individual.
- Do you know that morality in society is degenerating and people still believe it's because girls of now-a-days are into money or because they sleep around?
- Do you know that a girl that goes into a guy's to indicate interest in him is a hoe but a man that does it is a sharp shooter?
- Do you know that merely being a lady in the entertainment industry gets you labeled as a hoe?
- Do you know that regardless of how successful a single or divorced lady is, people will still focus on the fact that there is no man in her life?
- Do you know about 90% of all the ladies on this platform left between 2014 to 2024 due to the growing sexism on here?
- Do you know that I only stopped typing cause I have things to do and nor because there isn't more to type?
- Do you know that most guy would quickly dismiss all these as 'imagined' or by saying 'oh, we have issues too'?


You see, feminism is about gender equality. Fighting for equality isn't all about changing the written laws, it's also about changing mindset and empowering women. To be a feminist isn't about hating men or not cooking at home. It's about freedom of choice and equal playing ground. It's not against men (except you really believe one gender should be superior to the other). In fact, feminism will help reduce the pressure on men in our society today. When a feminist preaches, they don't target men alone, they also target all those overly dependent women that you all complain about (the urgent 2k and those that bring nothing to the table). Therefore, we should all be feminists.

The OP has a very brilliant younger sister who is discerning enough to recognize these things at her age, but he's here asking for ways to cut her wings and subdue her. Tomorrow, when she goes after men for survival, he will still be the one to come here and cry foul.

And how does feminism solve the problems listed above?

You imply that the families these things don't happen are 'feminists'/ believe in feminism?

joemag:
I recently went home to check on my parents. It happens that our lastborn who is in a boarding school also was around for a week break they were given at school.

On one of the evenings as I was talking to her and her dreams and aspirations this 16 old girl told me she wanted to become a Feminist. I was shocked but remained calm and gently asked her what she meant by being a Feminist.
She told me that by that she aims to become an advocate of women's right. She started narrating how men are domesticating women and whole lots.
I was marvelled at her passion and zeal and how convincing she was .
Deep down I knew that I have a problem to solve and I needs pragmatic steps in order not to cause more harms.

This girl has written her JAMB with nice scores and will soon be in the varsity.

Please, is there anyone with concrete approach on how I will go about this?

First things first.

How is your parents' relationship?

If she is talking of men domesticating women, she is talking from the examples she has seen around her or what she has absorbed online.

Either ways, it is not good for you.

Find the source of what is fanning her thoughts and deal with it from there.

And guide her from the trap that a 'woman's advocate is a feminist': they are two different concepts.

ravensckar:
From your analogy, one can infer that even you too have a shallow understanding of leadership. Firstly, any leader that deliberately sacrifices even a single one of his country man's life is not worthy of being called a 'leader'.

Secondly, leadership means integrity. To have integrity means to be virtuous, upright and steadfast. A quality that 90% of our so-called leaders lack. On the issue of subsidy, how on earth does a leader expect sacrifices from the citizens (most of whom are poor) without him sacrificing anything? Why must the citizens bear the brunt of subsidy removal whereas government officials still allocate bogus salaries to themselves?

If people like you keep making excuses for our useless leaders, they won't sit up and face governance. I've read several books and authobiograhies of many world leaders and I can categorically say that 'Nigerian leaders are not only incompetent but cruel'. If they don't burn in the deepest part of hell, then nobody deserves to be judged on 'Judgement Day'.

Great points at the bold.

You see the 2nd sentence in bold? Extremely apt!

Our leaders are cruel.

helinues:
Engineer Dave is not interested in hearing payan

More like don't ask me dumbo questions

Obviously dumb like your pay master.

Klass99:
From other social media accounts of the story someone said her 3 kids were in Naija with the husband and he threatened that she would never see them again, if she didn't include him in the travel/relocation plans.

The threat of not seeing her kids again was hanging over head like any good/responsible mother she gave into the threat for the sake of her kids. The narrator said she was also a nurse in Naija and she single handedly sponsored herself to UK before all of this drama.

I have been appalled by the comments of many male users here who have condemned and blamed the dead woman without knowing the full story. Even when presented with the facts on this thread one guy persisted in his foolishness.

There's a deep seated hate and darkness in most men on this forum that I can't wrap my head around, they are usually gleeful and malicious at the tragedy of others even without knowing them personally. I saw that hate and darkness in the wake of Herbert Wigwe's passing from the comments some of them made.

May God help their souls because this is irrational insanity.

@bold:

Wizardry borne out of poverty (not just lack of money) and lack of love.

They rejoice at the misfortune of others. Especially those who seem better off than them.

Where it is so terrible is that they don't need to profit from the tragedy; the fact that others 'suffer' something is satisfying enough for them.

emelda86:
But why did it take the cops 25mins to break-in where as they heard banging on the door...rip to the dead, although Nigerian women are something else but this is not the right way to handle matters.

Very pertinent question.

25 mins is an extremely long time.

Abagworo:
Not true. Majority of my friends that relocated with their family no longer love their wives and wish they never married. There is a kind of dangerous freedom the West gives to women which is not African and they use as menral torture to their husbands. Only few women retain their original character

Maybe nobody wants to be in bandage

And maybe what your friends feel is not 'lack of love' but sadness that their 'slaves' are now free.

AKINBOLADANTATA:
The time is ripe for Nigerian men to start looking outward to other African women especially East African women - Respectful, Non greedy and Peaceful. Guys go online, do whatever- seek and ye shall find. Most Nigerian women are quick gravitate to these western feminism culture - which is incompatible to true Christian married life.

I guess killing of wives in 'compatible' to 'true Christian' married life.

Creamz:
When people say don’t bring your wife to the west. They know what they are saying. I am not in any means justifying what the man has done because that is EVIL! However, our Nigerian women need to calm down when they have almost the same pay as their husbands . It turns to what else can you offer me. Our women have been so brainwashed to think the only thing a man can offer them is Money, besides which they are nothing. Our women need to realize, it was the man who made it possible for you to be in the position to have the power to earn, hence the intelligent ones amongst them will continue to respect their husbands. Those of you who think you have arrived. Remember what you think you have now might not last forever, you might end up running back to that man whom you think wasn’t important in the first place because you thin you have “ARRIVED”

@ bold:

It is because the husband had nothing else to offer apart from money in the first place.

If I am getting value, no amount of brainwashing would tell me otherwise.

NewDea4:
A lot of these fools are motivated to murder mainly because they are aware the United Kingdom does not apply the penalty of capital punishment

Interesting.

I want to infer that the prison conditions are 'comfortable' enough?

So maybe he calculated that he would live a better life in prison than outside it.

sunsweet33:
It’s really extraordinary how much people are bending over backwards to justify somebody quite literally bludgeoning his wife to death.

Perhaps it is a common occurrence in their families.

ARISHEM:
During face off, Angry Husband will warn wife to stop been rude to him. Wife will walk out majestically out of his presence and squeal "Duuuurl" on his face and you wisely expect a possessed man not to kill her for that.

In what scenario should we wisely expect a possessed woman to kill her husband?

Creamypie:
Don't take your wife abroad to save your marriage if u really love your wife. In Nigeria, once a man becomes rich, he turns his wife 2 a queen, but once a woman becomes rich, she turns her husband to house boy and slave, why

@bold:

Funny.

Chrisrare:
As a woman if you know you can't respect and submit to
your husband, then it's better you remain single.

In all the story, this is what you learnt?

Well, the wife is dead, probably a brutal, gory one hour death; it is the husband that has the next fourty plus years to learn not to be a wife killer.

darediamond:
All the shalaye is TRUTH DEEP INSIDE YOU.

Only an equally Irresponsible Man Cheats Over Her Girlfriend and Fiancee let a lone is Legal Wife.

What happens to sensible process of ending a relationship with a lady or wife that misbehaved?

Do not embrace anyhow lifestyle or character. It does leads to pains Sister.

@bold:

Oh!

You are not in the WhatsApp group then.

Yes, I agree with you: only an irresponsible man cheats on his woman.

darediamond:
No. It is about being "Broke", it is about being responsible. What does a lady like her have to do with Matrimony in the first place? Or is Marital life only for Financial Stable and RESPOSIBLE Males?

Ladies whose love language is money are GENERALLY ALWAYS IRRESPONSIBLE and does not worth becoming a baby mama let alone a Wife because it is takes 2 to Tangle. It takes the SPEARM and OVARIES to be in unison for a child to be brought in to this world.

All this shalaye is about being broke.

She agrees with NL men: Nigerian men are polygamous and lack self control. They are also allowed to cheat in marriage.

She just has a caveat on the type of cheat she would accommodate: a rich one.

Don't worry, the rich cheats know what she brings to the table and they like it.

What is the rukus on this thread for?

Poverty?

Because that is the only thing that makes sense.

A typical NL guy thinks men are polygamous and so shouldn't be faithful.

This lady agrees with your assertion and even accommodating of your excesses.

She just want to ensure she is crying in a jeep.

Or your good wife definition is one who is fine with a poor/broke, cheating, and abusive husband?

Because if a woman laments about a poor, cheating husband, you will still frown that she is complaining.

You'll believe cheating is your right anyways; go and make money so you are useful for something in your relationship/marriage.

Monday60655:
Don't you know that as you lay your bed so shall you lie on it? When you are busy advertising your body, what did you expect? When you are saying I'm available they will certainly come to have their share from your public cake.

And what kind of man wants a share from a public cake?

What type of man has a share in a public cake?

Solofresh2:
That things are going well for you today doesn't mean you should misbehave
You might need the help of any of those guys tomorrow
The fact she saved those number also shows how promiscuous she is

No.

The fact they contacted her shows they are as promiscuous as she is.

The girl has defined herself the moment she wore pant & bra to her friend's wedding.

We didn't know who the men were until they contacted her.

franchasofficia:
Any parent that enrols his kids in this school ought to be probed by EFCC


The only people that can legitimately afford to enrol their kids in this school at 43million per term are successful industry owners, entrepreneurs and executives like the likes of Aliko Dangote, Obi Jackson, Innoson Motors owner, Tony Elumelu, Leo Stan Ekeh, Femi Otedola, etc, etc.


Any civil servants who enrols his child in this school should be investigated and probed.


Even Governors without corrupt practices and looting of public funds cannot comfortably enrol more than one child in this school.

Can even the likes of Dangote spend N129m annually for a child's schooling alone?

ColonelZeus:
There is nothing bad in the way they go about their business.
As long as they pay their taxes, I believe Nigerians should mind their business.

Really

labake1:
You will say that you are looking for a man that don't smoke, drink and womanized. I was told that it is hard to get all in one person.
If he doesn't smoke, he will be a drunkard.
If he doesn't drinks, he will be into hard drugs.
If he doesn't drinks and smoke, he will be a womanizer.
If he doesn't drinks, smoke and womanized, he will be into gambling.

@bold:

Where do you people get your stats from?

greypencils:
When you move around carelessly with your phone in Lagos, you go collect.

First rule of safety in Lag, no dey press phone outside unless say na your area you dey.

Second rule, dey waka fast. When you do, the assumption is you are at alert and can break into a run when accosted. These boys no dey like stress themselves. Them no fit chase you. If you Waka slow, you go collect.

Third rule, if you are new to an area, no show am. Don't approach just anybody to ask for directions especially when it's getting late. You risk being directed into an ambush. If you are to ask for directions, look for a vendor or kiosk owner and buy something from such a person. It could be anything as small as satchet water. Buy, then ask questions. You won't be misled.

Fourth rule, whatever you do, avoid night waka on bridges and under bridges. If you are cornered on a bridge, E done be. Just settle them Jeje and pray you don't get injured.

Fifth rule, split your money into different places on your person. If you are accosted, you very well might part with the little in the pocket. You won't hurt much because you still have some money hidden elsewhere

Sixth rule, if you know you don't know martial arts, you are not armed, you can't brawl and fight like Jackie Chan, surrender your money or phone jeje when accosted. You have only one life. You can always earn back in multiple folds whatever is taken from you.

Let other people add more rules abeg. You just might be saving the life and property of a JJC in Lagos

@bold:

Never fails

Kajaard:
Very true.

Same way women are crazy but we 'MEN' cannot do without them.

Truth be told both genders have varying emotional identifiers but neither can live without the other. Let's not deceive ourselves to think otherwise.

@bold:

Very true.

What a shame to our Govt!

God1000:
Now I understand US unwavering and ironclad support for Israel even when atrocities are being committed.


Israel is officially the 51st US state


Please I don't hate Israelis my people, I don't just like netanyahu and his right wing government.

@bold:

US is Isreal extension

We used to call spill over dormitories 'extension' e.g. JSS2 girls extension.

Emeskhalifa:
Obviously they don't want other countries to see that bad things happen in their country.

It is only in Nigeria that you will see a Nigerian goes online badmouthing his country before foreigners, making his country a laughing stock. I wonder where patriotism is


No country is perfect but Nigerians think it is only Nigeria that is bad.

Maybe not only Nigeria but we get the point.

From the peeps calling Nigeria a zoo to along 'ndi saner climes' or the ones that see every opportunity to bash Nigeria & Nigerians online.

If not that the Government themselves are useless, they should be able to enact such laws here.

MrCork:
helo. My millionaire uncle is loookin for a beautiful womens who can do housegirl work.he ready to pay u a cool 30k (N30,000 Naira a months) which include housegirl uniform plus cap & u wiĺll be entitiles to free sleeping room & 2 foods a day (breakfast & dinner). U will all so recieve free lesson school to help yor qualification.this is a great shance to makd moiney so are u intaresssted please? smiley

You don't want to keep the wealth in your family?

My concern is how Portable married this clean babe.

As in this woman lets Portable sleep with her?

Omo!

dominique:
Does portable rate her? Popping out babymamas like it's going out of fashion. He is openly cheating on her yet he has the audacity to say he respects her. Giving her money does not equate to respect. He has openly declared that he belongs to multiple women, why is he now fuming that she says she's queen of herself?

Perhaps he wanted her to say she is the 'queen of multiple men'