₦airaland Forum

1Sharon:
Only in the black community are we taught to accept struggle love.

Calvary247:
My husband cheats alot.
I tried communicating with him to consider my emotional and psychological well-being but he didn't really take kin interest. I have wanted to cheat back but thinking of it disgusts me. Just help with a piece of advice that will help me.


Edited: File photo used for illustration

Your husband cheats a lot and you have the presence of mind to look for a matching picture (that adds nothing to the story).

Does he beat you too? Or is he about to use you for rituals?

Life or 17yrs?

Hmmmmmmm.

The mother looks better, cleaner and more elegant than the daughter.

Daughter legit looks like a cheap druggie.

Double0h7:
I have a feeling she will be one of the lucky ones because of the exposure she got. Hopefully a family will step in and her story will have a happily ever after. 🙏

Amen 🙏

It is well

Double0h7:
I have a feeling that the father was exploiting her image rather than anything physical (I pray that is the case) thinking he could make quick money.
I feel so anxious for this child, please pray for her that she is finally given a safe home to grow up in. Children are not safe going into the system either so I really hope she finds a loving mother figure to guide and protect her. This case really got me in my emotions.

@bold:

Very true.

Regis001:
I just love Bianca’s fashion style. Simple and elegant. Same with meghan. Nothing excessive.

Now you mention it, I like Meghan's fashion sense and appearance/carriage.

Mariangeles:
Men who talk to strippers should never be taken seriously in life.

I think strippers by the virtue of their job have access to a lot of men & would collate a lot of feedback.

Obviously, there would a lot of bias because I assume an average man visiting a stripper has problems at home (self-inflicted or not).

As to the general complaint of ingratitude.... both sexes don't understand/appreciate their unique circumstances so it is not surprising..

To the language...... well, the narrator is a stripper; she would default to her everyday lingo

This ma'am needs to bottle her beauty secrets for a premium

TheWinterBird:
No, I actually closed my eyes while writing all that, smdh. I guess I just developed a new skill, wow, wow, wow!!! I should be asking if YOU read what I wrote because you're all over the place without saying anything concrete.

Which real life actions of hers contradict her songs? She supports the FreedomForGirls campaign, donated $250,000 from her foundation last year, most of which went to women, as well as gave $10,000 grants to small businesses last year to businesses impacted by economic inequalities, most of which also went to women. I've given real-life examples in my previous post and and in this, but you're yet to give any as proof of what you're saying and just talking out of thin air.

I haven't been in the thread for some days now and you quoted me telling me I'm dragging people into my camp. Who quoted whom? And what has Chris Brown and Davido got to do with the discussion? Can Nigerians not argue without digressing unecessarily?

Idk why I'm even wasting my time replying someone in Nigeria living in one village with no light talking about they've no idea about.
D

If you posted a direct quote of a woman who said she doesn't want to be called a feminist because she doesn't want labels then proceeds to call herself a humanist and yet you insist she is a feminist, I can't help you and I can understand why my post flies over your head.

Beyonce is not a feminist; the way she conducts herself & family has shown over time that she is not a Feminist. She will tell you women that girls run the world & men are irreplaceable yet need her younger sister to beat her man when he is cheating. Then whine in a song, go ahead to sleep with him, birth twins then top it off with an interview of how she wants to stop the scourge of broken families in her lineage. If this is not an act from the standard Nigerian women playbook, I don't know what else is.


1S.haron has said it and I would re-echo it; support for women & women advocacy does not equal feminism. People (men & women) have been doing women advocacy for ages without the politics of feminism; same with religious institutions.

Pele o, Nigerian in the city

TheWinterBird:
Of course she is. Perhaps you've been living under a rock. She once performed in front of a screen with the word FEMINIST written in giant fonts. One of her singles, "Flawless” conveys a feminist message in its own right and samples the TED talk by Nigerian writer Chimamanda Ngozie Adichie that calls for gender equality. During an interview, this is also what she had to say about the concept:

"I’m not really sure people know or understand what a feminist is, but it’s very simple. It’s someone who believes in equal rights for men and women. If you are a man who believes your daughter should have the same opportunities and rights as your son, you’re a feminist. We need men and women to understand the double standards that still exist in the world, and we need to have a real conversation so we can begin to make changes. Ask anyone, man or woman, “Do you want your daughter to have 75 cents when she deserves $1?” What do you think the answer would be? When we talk about equal rights, there are issues that face women disproportionately…. Working to make those inequalities go away is being a feminist, but more importantly, it makes me a humanist. I don’t like or embrace any label. I don’t want calling myself a feminist to make it feel like that’s my one priority, over racism or sexism or anything else. I’m just exhausted by labels and tired of being boxed in. If you believe in equal rights, the same way society allows a man to express his darkness, to express his pain, to express his sexuality, to express his opinion—I feel that women have the same rights".

She also has two little girls now, so it makes sense that she would be an advocate for girls and women's rights.

Need any more proof that she's a feminist, or is it clear now?


https://colorlines.com/article/beyonce-talks-police-violence-feminism-elle-interview/

Did you read what YOU posted or you are so desperate to drag people into your feminist camp?

It is you feminists desperate to drag people into your camp that are living under a rock.

Beyonce's real life actions has constantly contradicted her songs.

I guess you believe Chris Brown is a lover boy or Davido would be faithful to Chioma because he sang 'Assurance' for her.

And feminists do not want equal opportunities; they want equal outcomes. And who has equal rights on this earth? Do I have the right to use my company's private jet? Does that mean I am discriminated against? If my CEO can't participate in a trivia to win N100k, does it mean she is 'inferior' to me?

The place where girls really need equal opportunities (e.g. same common clearance cut off mark) like Northern Nigeria, you’ll are interestingly missing there.

bestman09:
Daddy G.O. is talking to us his children, not you guys that don't understand how the spirit works. If you don't get the message, just forgerrit!

And what is the message?

That God would punish people who ask for accountability?

Anyways, He can.

After all, He is God.

SoNature:
My church member who relocated to Calgary in Canada last month was shocked at the way their churches operate - a Catholic church, by the way. Surprisingly, they don't even collect offerings every Sunday.

Money comes in as freewill donations in huge sums and they only have offerings those Sundays they have special need for money; the reverend father would persuade and apologise to them because he's bugging them. Then, every Sunday, all sums received and spent are displayed on the projector for everyone to see. Everyone knows how much the church has in its accounts

When are we going to turn a new leaf in this part of the world and become transparent?

The church I grew up in held AGM every year where the accounts of the church was analysed and reconciled.

It was a public event we all looked forward to.

And everyone kept prospering.

Na wa o!

This leaves a bitter pill in the mouth.

Why it was to be expected, one cannot forget when they went to and fro looking for ...... (my brethren in Christ), complete am

Sadly, 20 children cannot play for 20 years.

Gerrard59:
1. Well, Eunoi.aa believes otherwise.

2. If Nigerian young men are smart enough, they would be the number one vocal supporters of sexual liberalism rather than complaining

1. I haven't read her say so although I am not updated here

2. That's another kettle of fish. I am a 'what people do more than they say' person. Irrespective of what Nigerian men say and Nigerian women claim, both parties are extremely promiscuous and 'sexually liberal'. Sadly, the married folks are not left out. And contrary to their chants here; Nigerian men are marrying 'promiscuous' Nigerian women; coded and explicit.

joemag:
op, I am not against the rights of women per se but I am afraid of her being infested with the toxicity of modern feminism most especially the one that is preached in this part of the world. We come from a modest home where gender role is clearly defined and compromises are made where necessary to ensure the smooth running of the home. Her assertion about the domestication of women was the stroke that pricked me.

You actually do not owe anyone an explanation.

You are worried that your sister wants to be a feminist at 16 because men are domesticating women as you should be.

You however need to look at it holistically; what is feeding her thoughts? And deal with it.

TheWinterBird:
Which women before her? Did it destroy Malala Yousafzai, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Beyonce, Angelina Jolie, Angela Davis, Gloria Steinem, etc? Because all these women are feminists.

She will be successful and will live a fulfilled life. Stop speaking ill into a 16-year old's life.

Beyonce is a feminist?

I am surprised

I guess President Tinubu is a Muslim.

1Sharon:
I believe there is a difference between advocating for women's right and feminism.

👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏 👏

Go Tobi! Go Tobi!! Go Tobi!!!

hakeemhakeem:
This happened sometime ago one of the nurses saw the couple preparing for the party informed her boss ,the hospital had to carried the baby on the day of naming ceremony before they got their money

Determine if you want to continue the marriage or not & take it from there.

This thread is a stress relief

Brandiebird:
Firstly, I’m really sorry for what you’re going through, and for the way you are feeling. I understand you’re frustrated and came online to vent. However, he is not doing “what men do” because there are billions of men who don’t do what he is doing for YOU and his children.

You are only seeing today and the stress you are feeling. Your husband is seeing the next 18 years and how he will meet his responsibilities. Your children are going to need school fees from now until their university. Medical bills can pop up in short notice. You guys need rent and food for the next 18+ years. But you don’t care because “he is a man & that’s his responsibility.”

You sound really ungrateful and you will not win on this negative path that you are planning on. You don’t know if old age is promised to us so don’t project negativity towards your future.

To frank, If your shop folds today, my sister nothing will spoil because your husband is the breadwinner.

You seem to struggle with accountability so I will leave you with this; GRATITUDE is the secret to a good life. God is watching over us and gratitude is the language God responds to. Bring love back into your relationship and you will be amazed what your husband will do for you.

Continue being resentful, feeling vengeful and sad if you want but that will just eat you up from inside and make you sick. May the Most High make things easier for you and your family. 🙏

Edit: I guess we have to declare our gender because the truth is gender based according to Op: I am a female 💅

@bold:

Reginaoyah:
He footing the bills is what men with families do. He's not doing me any favour. You ppl saying I ran down the shop, my dear, it's a small business. My savings was in it too. Business has expenses...light bills, community levies, my fridge freezer went bad at least twice in the past yes, I fixed it from shop proceed. You sometimes eat from it, how will it grow? I cannot divorce him, but we will see in old age.

@bold:



Eku seeing. Hope you sha haven't developed wrinkles by then

I find it interesting that a number of women in physically combative activities want to make up & fix their nails before a competition.

An average woman with the aim of carrying out her activities do these stuffs without the serenren.

Perhaps this is to remind themselves that they are still women.

Ttipsy:
Only saying that to deceive her pets

lol dumb assholes

This cracked me up!

GloriousGbola:
i went to a school up north. this was in the 90s. the bulk of the students were from the south. there were very few students from the north. anyway, three completely raw northern students - not even from the city but rural villages got admission.

two girls, one boy. the father of one of the girls passed away when she was in jss3 or maybe ss1. her uncle immediately swooped in and married her off. we never saw her again. what do you think that girl would be today if he dad had not passed away? quite likely she would have made it all the way to university. i have some classmates like that who were from very poor backgrounds who are doing very very well fro where they came from.

that unfortunate girls father was a feminist - as he wanted more for his daughter than for her to be a child bride and nothing else.

The North has a religious & poverty problem and not 'lack of feminism' problem. I do not think Buhari is more 'feminist' than the uncle of the poor girl; yet his daughters had their masters before they got married.

Poor girls in the North get married off; poor boys in the North become almanjris.

First indication of their peculiar problem is that in a Northern school, only three students were Northerners.... Two girls and a boy.

Secondly, extended families have not been known to be saintly in our society. I wouldn't be shocked if the uncle's daughters were in the best schools.

GloriousGbola:
who would a guy enjoy bonking more - a woman who has been taught that sex is nothing more than a chore to be endured for having babies, and who has been taught to lie down, look at the ceiling and count until it is over, or an unrestrained chick who expects to finish and will ride you and maybe throw in some fellato to get you going?




i actually kind of agree. women in the west are largely but not completely emancipated. most of chimamadas talk imho is pandering to women who already have it made. she is from eastern nigeria, where women and girl children still get the short end of the stick. she can do so much more with her platform to better the lives and opportunities for disadvantaged women from her area, rather than getting meaningless male only chieftaincy titles . [yay we have beaten the patriachy!]

You believe feminism would make a woman 'more expressive' in bed?

I laugh in Japanese

One of the most expressive Christian books on marriage - sex was written by a woman who doesn't believe she & her husband are 'equals'.

You really do not want to know what some women who are 'Conservative' discuss when they are together.

Feminism might make a woman more sexually loose; it would not make her more expressive. I would argue that it might make her less because you need to embody your womanhood to freely enjoy yourself & enjoy your man.

@women emancipation in the West: what is still holding them back today?

Oh! The chieftaincy title she got was male only? Do they have a female only chieftaincy title? Are the men fighting for it or lobbying for it to prove that it is not for only women?

These women inherently think men are superior hence playing catchup.

Because if she thought the female titles as equal in worth as the male titles, she would work hard to merit the female title and perform exploits with it.

And how do Eastern women & girls get the short end of the stick?

Gerrard59:
Most feminist miscreants on social media do so for funding/donations purposes, clout chasing and the likes. Most don't practice what they preach. Everybody dey find one hustle or the other.

As for the sexual liberalism, yes, it's men, especially well-to-do men that benefit from it. Biologically, men are comfortable with having lots of sexual intercourse. So when women are encouraged to deliver milk without the need for the buyer to cater to the cows or ranch, why wouldn't men benefit from it? Free milk o without caring where the cows are cared for or the ranch is protected.

Honestly, everyone dey find hustle; may they get blessings from it.

As long as they don't force anyone to buy it, more power to them.

I frankly don't know how a woman who understands how a woman's body and womanhood works believe that you can sexually compete with a man. Like how?