₦airaland Forum

yettymuse:
In this part of the world, I won't advise any woman married to a man to take the role of a FULL HOUSE WIFE. Abort that mission! Forget all this articles, bring this home to the real practical settings. If your own FHW duties doesn't permit you make your own money, my sister FLEE!

Going into marriage as a Nigerian woman without a source of personal income is suicide mission. Your money covers your shame.

What shame does money cover?

Hanseel1:
I'd have loved to engage you but you're ignorant.

No need wasting my time.

From where I stand too, you are also very ignorant.

Hanseel1:
Since housewife is a job do you wish to get paid?

Any woman who voluntarily wishes to be a full time housewife is just lazy and of use to the economy because sitting at home won't add % to the economy.

Read this post again.

You grow revenue by reducing cost and increasing profit.

If a wife is an housewife, it should occur to you that the family will cut the cost of minders, people to do chores, will make more things at home. She is also freeing the husband to work longer hours if he so desires.

Even if she is not adding a kobo to the family purse, she is reducing costs and enhancing productivity.

Hanseel1:
Is this sarcasm or what exactly?

How many families have you interacted with in the west to get to this conclusion? you speak like someone that has never travelled to US, UK or any other western country.

Just re-read what you just typed, spewing lies in a bid to impress who?

And you that have travelled world over knows what happens in every home?

My dear, snoop the net and read about different facets of other cultures understand different perspectives.

What part of my post sounds like I want to impress anyone?

Theladysroom:
Some women began to disdain those, who willfully chose to be full-time housewives. It appears that childcare and housework are looked down upon as unskilled labour or no work at all, and less privileged women.

As farmers or traders, African women were historically known to be active economic players on the home front. Polygamy and communal living enabled women to be both child bearers as well as financially independent.
Read more ...https://theladysroom.ng/dear-women-housewife/

Interesting topic you have here.

For starters, everywhere is littered with men calling house wives jobless. So you are preaching to the choir telling women that housewifery is a full time job. It is the men you should tell that to. Someone once defined chores as 'something nobody acknowledges you do yet feel the impact when you don't'.

And everyone knows housework is unskilled labour. You advocate housewifery yet will pay your female personal accountant more than your female nanny or washer woman.

Women will tell you to work to earn respect and build self esteem although I have seen working wives who are abused and have no self esteem and I have seen housewives treated like eggs. One I remember had a maid though she was home with six kids. I find it funny that all her daughters are talking about masters and working working before marriage.... Maybe something happened somewhere.

I like the way parts of some other cultures like American, European etc approach a matter: they looked at it critically and found ways to make it work.

What did they do? They encouraged their women to marry immediately after college or in college. In some circles, they joke that their girls go to expensive universities to find rich husbands and their idea of housewife is not same as ours. An housewife sometimes has help and is in several groups so she is busy and engaged in stuffs that would give her esteem a lift. Some advocate a woman doesn't waste time in college and instead go study general knowledge and running of a home. They also use their men to work hard so that he is able to provide for the needs and wants of the home.

A lady who did not finish university or studied home economics would be less inclined to be interested in building a career. Compare to a lady who studied economics, came out with a good grade and already dreaming of shaping her country's economic policies.

The heart does not long for what the eyes cannot see.

Again, what impact would generations of housewives have on the economy? Society? etc.

otipoju:
When i found out about this research, i stopped helping out in the kitchen ooo. She complain tire, i no mind am.

After all, i mow the lawn, fix broken things,paint the baby's room, assemble baby toys and other manly tasks...

But i still dey buy baby milk at Kroger on my way from work at night.

And do you have more sex?

Why do I think this thread is fake?

enonche85:
U are lady, so u won't understand how a man feels when his wife is not in good terms with her in-laws... The fight might turn fetish in some cases.

Using my own family as case study, if they have an issue with her then the marriage deal is off period!. I'll try and let her understand this while also trying to convince my family. It will not only affect me in future but my kids as well. That's the angle you are not looking at.

It is the same way a woman feels when her husband is not in good terms with his in-laws.

My point is that sometimes, it is the family not the wife causing the trouble and it is our duty as spouses to protect our spouses from our family when we know that they are the issue.

Imagine a man who has a troublesome mother who troubled his dad and fomented trouble in the neighbourhood. Wouldn't it be wickedness for the husband to expect the wife to get along with his mother?

Would the husband remain single all through his life because he doesn't want a wife that will have issues with his mother?

Despite the stereotype that mother in laws are terrible, I know a MIL who told her DIL that she knew that her son was the problem and did everything to protect her DIL.

When you cannot cope with someone, don't expect your spouse or in-law to be able to do so. Some of us have not even been able to foster a harmonious relationship after knowing the person all our lives yet we want a husband/wife who just met them to do the magic.

enonche85:
I can't and won't marry a lady who does not like my family, how is that a difficult thing to understand?.

I still won't marry her even the issue is from my family. I love peace of mind, I can't die b4 my time because high BP due to family issues.

I'll choose peace over war.

@Bold:

Nothing strange there.

Just know that if your family is the issue, you won't have the peace you are looking for because your wife is not your problem; your family is.

Gerrard59:
Las las, na the same women una they bash una go marry.

The list is humdrum!

Hahahaha

chronique:
from the much i knew,she was up for it but just doing the normal hard to get and chase me thing. thing is,i tried till i could no longer cope cos i wasn't given a no or a yes. there were signs and encouragements from her that she wanted it though but she was taking too long to make up her mind and i sort of lost the mojo to keep up the chase. i still like her but i don't have strength for all that hard to get shit...

Hard to get for a year at her age?

She is clearly not serious.

enonche85:
Lol!...oshey flash!

The one I can't stand the most is not being able to stand my family.

What if your family have issues?

It is wickedness to know someone is a nuisance you can't cope with and expect your wife to endure their shit just because.

chronique:
Following. For me, I think you should marry someone who doesn't give you stress, nor makes falling in love frustrating. A lady who has a lot of pride in her, is also a no go area if you want to have sanity in marriage cos you'd end up always having to beg her when there's a disagreement. That can be frustrating to any man. Once tried falling in love with someone like that and I was ready to make sacrifices to just make it work but the more I tried, the more I got frustrated. Despite her being even older than me and being a single mom, I didn't mind. Was trying to focus solely on her good side. When I could no longer cope with being on her case, I just kept quiet and stopped all forms of communication with her and I told myself then, that at my age, I should not be chasing a lady that is close to xyz yrs, for a whole year because I want date. It doesn't make sense.

Did you get Intel that she was ready to hit the dating scene again?

LatestNews180:
Marriage is not a friendship, there is a very big different between the two.Marriage is the coming together of a man and a woman to unit as one and form a home.It has to do with lifetime not friendship that you meet today as friend and break up tomorrow .Marriage as they said is a beautiful thing ;but how true is that statement if you're married to the wrong woman?.The truth is that most single ladies who are ready to get married are wolves and lionesses that no man should ever get married to.Some ladies tends to hide some of their characters and pretend to be a good one,just for you to put a ring in their fingers before the lionesses in them will come up.I have seen what some men are passing through in their marriage due to lack of examination of the person he wants to marry,I decide to put down these signs below that if you found in the girl you are dating you will have it in mind that marrying her is not gonna work out.


1.No drop of domestic blood
You may want to ignore the fact that she can't cook ,but does it stop there? can she clean ? wash and arrange the house without complaining that you aren't helping?.This is something to watch out for any lady you intend to settle with.She must be person that tends after her home like a precious vineyard;else if you make the mistake of marrying her you won't be able to stand her in a few years to come.
She's not Godly
May be you count yourself as one of those sinners in the town,but believe me your life will turn out even more miserable if you marry a lady who is not Godly.I wonder what your children will become in the society if you marry such a bad girl,no one is care to teach them something of the lord.So check her well,if she exhibits ungodly traits you should never even dream of taking her to the alter,a lady that smokes,drinks,lies, comes home late,curses,talks too much,nags,gossips,is lousy or has a raging temper is not godly ,you should never think of marrying such woman.


2.Materialistic and frivolous
So you really like her ,may be love her but she's just too materialistic and demanding,you are the one doing the paying,hmm!,did you think she's gonna stop it when she gets married to you,may be you are one of the big boys in the town and have a whole lot of money ,that doesn't mean you should marry a lady who's willing to help you spend half of it .Your wife should be a gatherer not a dispenser.


3.She doesn't do anything
Some guys will tell you that they can work for themselves and their wives,I don't advice you to marry a lady who depends on you for ''air''.If she can't do anything to earn a living ,has no skill,she is not educated as well ,has no plans of what she is doing ,then better not marry her else one you're going to see her as burden.


4.Don't really love her
Don't love a lady because your mum said that you should marry her,that she is good .Love is the most important thing in any relationship, don't marry to please your mum and displeases yourself because marriage is for a lifetime is not friendship,you should marry her for what you feel for and not because you want to please someone else,if you don't love her then please don't marry her.

5.She can't stand your family
Never marry a woman who cannot stand your family because a time will come when she won't be able to stand you too;who would you run to then? The same family you you abandoned for her! You shouldn't risk tearing your life to pieces like that.If your family says no to her then find out why,if she's the one that just doesn't like seeing your family members then the problem is even bigger.

6.Stay away from ladies that are very emotional, nothing you say or do can make them happy when they are in their moods.This can get very difficult and annoying in the long run.


Source- http://www.skyworld.com.ng/2018/06/6-ways-to-identify-girls-you-will-never.html

You don't know the meaning of godly sir if you expect a godly woman to marry a sinful man.

You want wives to be domesticated and be the sole person to take care of the home yet have issues with wives staying home fully to face the home front squarely.

This is a joke right?

solomoneey:
GOSSIPLOUD.COM

Few days ago, a Nigerian doctor via his twitter handle, shared the story of how a husband connived with his doctor to remove his wife's womb because he doesn't want her to have more children. This happened in Festac town, Lagos.

According to the husband, himself and his wife agreed to have just three children but now they have five. After the birth of the 5th child, he connived with the doctor to remove her womb without her consent. He said he cannot see himself using condom to have sex with his wife. The wife has also stated previously that she doesn't like taking birth control pills because they make her bloated. Read story here.

This morning, the hosts of TVC's show, The View, discussed the issue and one of the presenters, Tope Mark-Odigie, was of the opinion that as long as a woman has gotten married to a man traditionally, he has the right to do whatever he wants to do with her.

According to her, it is the culture that we practice. She stated that traditional weddings have been created to give the impression that a woman is being bought by a man.

https://gossiploud.com/2018/08/24/your-husband-has-the-right-to-do-whatever-he-wants-with-your-body-presenter-tope-mark-odigie/

Thank God person fit watch the source.

The woman is actually against the school of thought that the husband can do anything to the wife and called people to address this issue before it becomes a norm.

HeWrites:
Can't you read the title/her tweet

'My mom walked me down the aisle and I did not kneel on my wedding day.'

How is that degrading to the men in her lives? Did she come out to insult them or something?

imasong005:
All the ones that knelt down for their husbands over and over again, did it in any way stop the high rate of divorce in our society. Please let us lay aside trivial issues like this, and move on to more weightier ones.

Hahahahahahahaha.

Well, you have a point.

oyb:
Shebi I talk am. I hope her husband is gifted with a lot of patience, because her attitudinal issues may wear out the love very fast

Toto dick type chick

My issue with her is not about kneeling and mother walking her down the aisle. Everyone is free to do as they like.

It is her constant need to tell us so which is not peculiar to her anyways; it is all over the WWW

She should sha note that as she gets deeper in the marriage, it is not the right to do x or y that will make the marriage work.

HeWrites:



Madam, judging from all the gibberish you have been sharing, it's obvious you come from a really dysfunctional family since you're making a huge show of degrading all the males in your life.

How did she degrade the men in her lives?

Deltayankeeboi:
you are a confirmed product of indigent parenting.
All ur comments are what men can provide for you and not what you can do to better your life. I hope you dont die of hunger soon while on the waitlist to be saved from poverty

You must be very very confused.

The girl in the OP thinks it is a man's duty to cook for himself and not his wife.

She has received bashing for a lifetime. So we would assume that you expect the girl to cook while the man provides.

Now the person you quoted is complaining that guys were shivering on a thread expecting men to be providers.

And you are here bashing her again.

If you will not cook for yourself or provide what is to be cooked, what are you useful for?

Except you are telling me that only cooking is delegated to the wife while you pick up other tasks around the house.

Why were the women arrested?

Anyone who knows the story should help.

IamHeWrites:
Open marriage is the type of marriage where the man and the woman with each other's consent, are allowed to cheat.

is it really being practiced in Nigeria?

https://www.torimill.co/viral/9546/do-people-practice-open-marriage-in-nigeria-lady.html

Men do.

Afterall, some wives with cheating husbands are fine with it/do nothing about it.

Wilfredpat22:
Men practice open marriage while we women do it secretly. The most funny thing is that you men think you are marrying marriage material, you are marrying a expired, used lady that her destiny has probably been used by 50 year old men

The truth is if you aren’t marrying a virgin, you are marrying, proposing and saying vows to a lady who has a body count of 60. Forget the lines we use about being raped (how many men rape women this days) how many do we read??

If we women can open our legs before marriage and sleep and our body is now useless and worthless it is better for you men to marry us and do to us as you please (except she has her own money)

All my life I play and grew up with boys, and none of them attempted rape, so I wonder where the accusations are coming from??

When I read some of your posts, I cringe.

The fact that you and your crew have body count of sixty and go about do nonsense doesn't mean we all do same.

Sexonmomma:
U slept with her, she came back to you unhappy and opens up, all what ur consciousness can think of is how she's feeling guilty about you having your way? And coming to nairaland to inform us. What the f.uck is my business
Do you reason at all?
Seriously babes need to wise up. Some niggas aren't it

@bold: the earlier girls realize, the better for them.

The fact the lady said it was too early meant she thought there was a relationship going on.

giftedheart1:
sweetheart, i think the answer is because we still live in a patriarchal world...i m sorry, it may remain like this forever!

That's not a problem.

The problem is playing both sides. You live in a patriarchal world where men use women when they have mutual sex. Own the responsibility when something like the OP happens. Don't suddenly remember that you both enjoyed it.

And the guy is showing us the picture because?

Every well trained man knows that sleeping around is wrong so those who can't zip up should take whatever they see.

Eketem:
He is just angry that his wife had the guts to leave him

Hahahahahahahahahahahahhaha!

It is well.

thorpido:
If you are a virgin and wish to remain so,don't go visiting men in their houses.

Thank you brother mi.

franchasng:
all guys are into relationship first because of sex then other reasons come later, stop deceiving ladies.

I will warn my future daughter: if u do not want to have sex with anybody, don't keep boyfriend or male friend.

The day u are ready to have sex then u can start keeping boyfriend or male friend.

Yam and goat cannot stay in one room without the goat eating the yam.

What did fowl go to a native doctor's shrine to do when it doesn't want to be used as sacrifice

The first thing that makes a man approach a lady who is not his blood relative is sex appeal. Yes along the line, he may now discover other good qualities in the lady.

A man does not leave a lady because he had sex with her but because after having sex with her, he found no other valuable quality in her to make him stay with her.

If as a lady, u have awesome valuable things to offer to people including men, believe me, no man will want to leave u just because he had sex with u.

Unless the man is married or seriously engaged, and even some may want to disengage or remarry just because of u if u have amazing qualities to offer.

@Bold: Very salient expect the male friend part.

If you are not ready to marry in a year's time and do not want sex, don't go into a relationship.

@OP: If you couldn't use the only tool you had for salvation i.e. screaming to attract people, I do not know what to say.

koyyes:
Pictures tell you a lot. It is not done anywhere especially with a pregnant woman. The man ought to be the one standing. He is the head and the protector of the young family. Only in cases where the kids are grown, can he then sit with his wife while the kids stand.

So much for facebook courtship.

@Bold, I agree.

Yet, I insist that their posture says nothing about their relationship.

If the wife was sitting, we wouldn't see her pregnancy.

sinceraconcept:
why are you guys acting like a 55year old woman is young? the woman is too old to have sex joor. if she was a man fine,but 55 year old is too old for woman it means her child is already in his 30's. and marrying your mate for what? Obasanjo outlives many his wives and probably can perform well on bed than most of them. who marries his mate anyway? I don't want a woman that would have grown older than me when due to child birth and other obvious reasons. I prefer a younger wife and that's how its suppose to be. So,if you're in your 60's and your wife dies,you would start looking for a grandma in her 60's to marry? . you're not a man,you're effeminate. kudos to Abraham in the bible. this 88 year old man probably doesn't use herbs like other old men to perform in bed. women cheat on young men too,so its their ways and I don't blame the old man for marrying a younger wife. there are many men married to younger women and their marriage is smooth and yet there are many men married to their age mate and she cheats than a dog

A 55 year old woman is too old to have sex?

koyyes:
That woman is pregnant. She should be the one sitting. Wicked charcoal man.

Mizwisdom:
The first born is not yet one, wife is already heavily pregnant, husband is sitting comfortably while pregnant wife is standing for pix. Seems some Nigerian men maltreat women without knowing





Need books?
contact me orderbooksng@gmail.com

What is wicked and maltreatment in a wife standing for 3mins to showcase her pregnancy?

Are the men who kiss their wives' pregnant stomach while she is standing also wicked?

Some things don't count.