₦airaland Forum

IstandWithGod:
Until people start spelling your child's name incorrectly that's when you will understand that "using your brain" as at when due is better than using your emotions.

When the son becomes important, people will be forced to learn how to spell and pronounce his name.

Why would I consider ease of spelling/ pronunciation when giving a child something as symbolic as a name?

Hanseel1:
This is sarcasm, right?

What is?

Comedy Central.

With all the beating, you can still wear tyre on your ears.

'Kayode wa tamba fun mi'.

Hahahahahahahha

Eketem:
Maybe if some of you men were not so obsessed with submission and wives who will rely on you for every need you may have an easier life.

How about marry a woman who earns her own money and who has a healthy attitude towards it, who is willing to sit with you before the wedding and say please let us not spend so much on a wedding, let us first plan how we will rent a house and run it before we use whatever we can spare to have a wedding that won't run us broke.

A wife who is willing to selflessly sit and plan with you on household bills, based on how much you both earn who pays for what, also sit with you and plan major projects Eg build a house, buy a car, pay fees.
No, you want weak women who will be slaves to you and your relatives, who has to make fresh soup everyday, who you can just wake up and throw out of your house one day and have her crawling and begging because she has nothing else.

Most of you don't want women who can stand strong financially and also refused to be bullied.

You only want women who can accept humiliation as a lifestyle in the name of submission.


Well don't complain, you should enjoy your self with the choices you make. There are other choices that will have you relaxing with your wife and 65 but no, you will prefare a submissive wife who drains you financially to a strong woman who will work with you to achieve financial stability

I honestly don't get it.

Which Nigeria do you people keep talking about sef?

All around me are working wives who think twice before buying something for themselves because it is schoolfees time/rent is due/there is an expense at home.

And while you are at it, can you tell us how the wives in your scenario jump loops to take care of the hone while working?

Trapnews:
Keep judging the man without hearing his side of the story, we all know how women abroad misbehave and will never try such in Nigeria, thumbs up to the man for not committing suicide or going to jail because of their disrespect, these women in diaspora can be frustrating most times

This is not a matter of judgement.

Let's assume the wife was a monster; he has remarried and should move on.

They invited him for all the weddings and he did not show up. Now, his son wants to walk his sister down the aisle, he is fidgetting.

cruchenutii:
So in essence, you have two different persona? Anyway, its good.



Well, it's called opinion for a reason I guess.

Bros beg!

Not here.

Ewuro4:
Didn’t finish reading it but frankly marriage isn’t black and white but customized to everyone’s need.

“Respect & Empathy” are both concepts that are supposed to be taught to any growing child so when a marriage/relationship lacks it, you should know the parents did a sloppy job raising a them. And you can’t change an adult... An adult is a fused bone, you cant change a fused bone.

@bold:

Reminds me about a scene in a movie I watched recently. The son was beating his fiance and after several pep talks, the bride said no at the altar.

After the initial rukus, the guy's mother starts screaming on her husband that she warned him to stop hitting her yet he refused and now their son has picked up the habit.

However, mutual respect is a modern concept: wives were taught to respect their husbands and husbands take care financially for their wives.

It is really interesting and marriage truly isn't black and white.

Acidosis:
Truth is: give them a second chance to remarry their "ideal spouse", they will come back to answer "No" to this question after about a year or two.

We have lots of Nos because majority ran into marriage with a wrong mindset. Marriage is not a solution to problems, it is simply a continuity of the life you already have. If you're addicted to changing boyfriends and girlfriends every month, you would be trapped in marriage. Your life would be as fcked as hell. If you're addicted to random sex before marriage, sticking with one partner for the rest of your life will make you miserable.

Do not wait until marriage before changing those bad habits. I tell people every time, wedding/marriage won't change your bad habits. If you can't stay away from premarital sex or at least stick with a partner prior to marriage, just don't bother going into marriage.. you will be miserable.


Check the majority of those answering No to this question, they got married for the wrong reasons; many of them have extremely bad habits they wish their spouse can endure.

Marriage is not a bus-stop where you have to take a brand new bus to a new destination. Naah, it is the same old and overused d**k you used in ravaging everything under the skirt that will follow you to your marriage.. The pressure, urge, lust, etc.. won't change!

Marriage do not give a self-control pill. If you don't have it while you're dating that broke and dirty boyfriend, you won't get it even if you marry the most handsome man in the universe. Marriage is very hard when we hold on to our bad habits.

This your post doesn't make allowance for genuine cases however I still sign 100%.

There is no magic in marriage vows.

Funny how most of the men are hamming on the women's money. Not one mentioned who will do the house work.

Talk of eating cake and having it.

mainman7:
You are a bloody liar, ur words betray you. You crave to be married but ur bad character chases good men away. Marriage is sweet when GOD is the foundation. I'm a witness.

I don't necessarily agree with the poster however, why don't you let women speak for themselves?

Abi are you a woman?

pembisco:
I'm 28. I'm now 5 months into marriage.
The first two months, she used to ask me what I want to eat but now, Omo na anything I see for dinning table o
My money is ours but her money is hers alone.
My clothes are always washed and ironed unlike before
Well, generally speaking, I think men enjoy 90 percent of benefits from marriage. All you got to do is go to work, come back and provide money for the upkeep of the house while women do all the work which can fill two pages here when I begin to mention
Marriage has taught me how to respect women. I now know how our mothers endured the shiits from men.
Men, please respect even a mad woman on the street. Being a woman is not easy.
God knows I can't do half of this their house chores etc may be that's why he created me a man cos I'll have been the laziest lady in town

Your wife is lucky.

That you see what she really does, it is the first step towards appreciation.

When men say women benefit in marriage more especially working wives, I am amazed.

Beke2020:
Good Evening Admin,

I read your articles on Facebook and I was impressed by your response as well as your readers response to helping people with their problems. Well done,you people are doing a good job. This made me decide to write you about my problem.

My problem is that my wife left me with my three children since February this year. We have been married for almost eleven years. In fact, this coming October will make it eleven years. I met my wife when she was in school and I helped train her until final year when we got married.

By God’s grace,I am doing ok so I told her to stay at home and raise our children and she did that until we had all three children. My eldest child is now 10 years old.Two years ago,when my first daughter was 8 years,my wife told me that she would like to start working. Our last born was four years old. I did not like the idea but just to make her happy,I agreed.

One of my contacts helped her get a job as a P.A to one lawyer. My wife read law too. This lawyer is a divorcee. My wife worked there for like one year before she stopped working because the woman was not paying her salary on time. I then told her to wait a while to look for a better job but my wife became restless. Every day she would be complaining that she needs a job. That I am not doing enough to help her find a job.

To be honest,that was the beginning of our problems. She had tasted work life and to her,it means her freedom. She wanted to be seen as a.....more


https://livelystones.com.ng/my-wifes-attitude-changed-after-working-for-a-few-months/

You are lucky that I am mobile, else I would copied the story here.

@ story: The husband behaved opposite to his desires. He wanted his marriage and yet cheated to show his displeasure. It doesn't work that way.

He also said he was not against the wife working yet he had no plan till the 9th year in their marriage when she complained. He is also not willing to slightly adjust to accommodate her ambitions. She works late and he doesn't like it. Did he make a move to look for other jobs? To understand her schedule and suggest better ways to navigate it?

What did he ever do to show that he supported her to earn her trust in decision making?

The only mistake he made was 'training' her so she doesn't have any desire to pursue a career.

An advantage of women knowing what they want and/or starting it before marriage.

globatop:
At times men are too protective of their wifes, I wouldn't blame them, there are more wolves at places of work. Once a wife is intimidated to submission crises will set in at home. Only a Godly wife will survive intimidation at work place. Shalom

Has it occurred to you that if a wife is well treated at home, all will be well if she starts working.

On second thoughts, what kind of people do you even roll with?

IbrahimDamola:
We yorubas sef. Why we like to rape our daughters? Chai!

Who are the we 'Yorubas'?

Is pedophile a Yoruba thing?

Where is her mother?

Bilaludeen:
http://surecontents..com/2018/08/pregnant-why-late-marriage-will-affect.html

Very educative thread.

I wonder why the men are jumping about hitting on women when a major reason of infertiliy is lack of quality sperm which increases as the men age.

I am also a staunch advocate of early marriage in men and women because truthfully, the younger the better and the easier for your body to snap back after pregnancies for women. For something that grows old (the human body), it only makes sense to use it earlier than later.

We have the technology of frozen eggs however if it is not panadol, e no fit be like panadol.

Now these things are NOT cast in stone and a 40yr old woman in the village where there are no industries, fast food joints, eats only fresh food, takes regular body resetting herbs and does most of her chores manually is healthier than a 30yr old in the city with all the attendant lifestyle. Ditto a man that's why an Ogogoro gulping man will have kids at 70. He is trekking to farm, farming his land, eating fresh and unprocessed fruits and vegetables. A 30 year old guy that drinks alcohol supposedly more refined drives for hours in traffic, sits all day in the office, eats all sorts and inhales heavily polluted air per second.

Like the Dr. said, pollution, industrialization and age are the major factors in infertility hence our mothers got pregnant unassisted in their 40s and 50s while women in their 30s today are struggling.

Again, I know ladies in their 20s trying for kids while ladies married at 30s dropping them like it's hot.

@ Marriage partner: I believe that almost everyone met someone they could have married while younger. Again, if you intend to marry early, by 20yrs max you stop chewing gum relationships and work towards more meaningful ones.

coleon:
Truth is after reading this I'm really scared cos I'm 35. And my fiance is 33. The last thing I want is to eventually get married and not have children. My life will be miserable.

What is stopping you from getting married now?

On the surface, lovely family.

ModsareChevres:
What happened to Taiwo and Kehinde, default Yoruba names for twins

People dont want to use them anymore...

SMH

All twins are by default Taiwo and Kehinde which is generic.

They now have specific names.

Imagine the father was a twin, ditto the mother.

When they say Taiwo Saraki, how do they specify who they are referring to?

@daywatcher.

meobizy:
It's for attention and admiration. It's most exciting when you know those people who claimed you'll never become anything in life are secretly watching. Those ones will nearly commit suicide seeing you are achieving big things.

Why do you need people to validate your 'success'?

Apogee14:
african women dont need feminism. feminism is a western concept because western societies are patriarchal. african societies are matriarchal so its insane to even suggest feminism

It is almost a year later however, do you care to explain?

Mille:
Well, I feel you are the girl.

Anyway, your story is half complete. A man cannot just wake up and start calling his woman a prostitute without reason. Also, for him to even consider paying you off while you're considering withdrawing his appointment shows you've been using the job gotten for him as a blackmail tool.

Oh, and BTW, a Federal appointment is not the same as a private appointment. This means the man who helped him get the job cannot withdraw his appointment.

Just how men who were jilted after training a lady in school has done something wrong.

Shebi the man conveniently waited the lady got him a job before knowing that her character is unbearable and a prostitute.

Sense will not kee you.

Acidosis:
You guys had a "job for marriage" contract. If the contract is not working then withdraw your agreement. It is that simple, he should respect the terms of agreement.

If you're waiting for Karma to deal with him, then you're simply going to wait forever. Same Karma is yet to deal with those looting your resources in Aso rock.

@ bold:

Tragically funny.

Or karma is very selective.

@ withdrawing the job well, she should just move on.

If she coherses, the guy to marry her, she will live in eternal regret.

Better he showed his true intentions now.

What does he mean by number 2?

Gratitude is a good quality.

I thanked my parents for paying my fees, thank my husband for putting on the gen, thank him for dropping me at work even though his office is about five mins drive etc.

pweetygiftofGod:
By God's grace, I will not end up with a man who'll Cheat on me , I deserve better and God will grant my heart desires, amen!

If you deserve better, then you will start from the type of man you choose.

chronique:
Hmm. I remember how a relationship didn't take off between me and someone cos chic was married and I told her I really couldn't do that shit though I liked her. She had a friend who I was gradually flirting with. So she comes back to tell me terrible things her friend said about me and how she couldn't date me. Next time I saw the friend, I just withdrew and just kept it on a hi hi level. Along the line, I noticed something wasn't right. It felt like she was trying to be close but I was keeping a distance. Then, we suddenly found ourselves somewhere one day and there was this unusual silence after saying hi and we were just standing separately and no one talking. Then I broke the ice and told her well done for all the nasty things she said about me. She looked shocked and asked when was that and what did she say. I told her everything and she swore never to have uttered any of that and was asking why on earth would she say such about me. She kept asking who the person was that said she said that so she could go confront the person... At that point, I realized aunty that relationship did not work with, made that up to prevent me from chasing her friend who was single. Women do not like themselves.

Women do not like themselves because a married woman who wanted to sleep with you blocked your way with her friend?

How did your relationship with the married woman get to level of wanting you?

Anyways how did your story end? A good ending might see your sins above forgiven.

Olalan:
A strange girl hits you and you smiled........... Talk about guys who don't reason well at the sight of a girl. What she did was bad and should be corrected.

What do you propose he did?

Ewuro4:
What happened to powdered p.yam? All these stewpid questions to cause fights.

If you know how many people esp. men who think that powdered pounded yam is for lazy and uncultured wives.

It is well.

Ayodele92:
Let's also see it from this perspective

@TheKingIsHere

TheKingIsHere:
He didn't love her yet he pleaded with her not to file for divorce? He never loved her yet he didnt cheat on her after marriage even when he had the opportunity to do so? he even met her after the divorce and explained to her that he never cheated on her after they were married.... After the divorce, out of love he gave her beyond what he normally should have done...remember the judge stated that he wasn't even obliged to do so.
So what else do you want him to do?

He didn't love her.

Why didn't he ask her out again after he blew?