₦airaland Forum

Ebuka2016:
kids nko?

Will a woman impregnate herself?

Then if women work and earn well, why do most of them still depend on men for financial assistance?

As for love, i quite agree with you.

A woman will not pregnate herself however a womb is more expensive than a sperm/ penis.

Because they feel it is their entitlement/right how a man feels the good food is his right.

Johnson5258:
Is that a lie?

Is what a lie?

tobianthony:
D
Se

That's his life .

I will say this tho ...the fact that what he says makes sense to me is all that really matters .

There are a few females who are regular visitors on his blog . I was just surprised that someone ,a lady ,would bring this up in a discussion here .

You don't have to believe in TRP ...I don't think of you any less for that. There's something there for everyone to one to learn .

Take what you will and use it is my approach .

But what he teaches makes sense to me .

Especially the transactional sex piece .

Fair enough.

@bold: hilarious. Don't care what you think about me. This is a faceless forum.

I appreciate your contributions and would like to hear your thoughts when you are done reading.

yettymuse:
1. I think a women's sexual configuration has no rulings. I personally, I don't do AF or BB, I have sex at my pace. It has to do with my complete wholesomeness. Some call it greed, but I am very selfish with my sexuality. I have a confused libido so to speak. When I'm Hot is when I believe sex is needed, I am particular about satisfying my urge and full stop. Until some other time when when my hotness is red again don't ask me for sex.

2. I am one of those women that would tick the calendar for a sexual routine. I don't know what to call this really, but the moment a man tells me he's a hyper libido person, I run off even though I seem like an interesting person ... What do you call this.

3. Please don't mention me o, I'm having menstrual pain

1. I don't know what to say because it sounds like you are not in a committed relationship. However, in marriage, you cannot be 'selfish' with sex.

2. Just make sure you are ticking a lot of days . Interesting is a step towards being a sensual lover. Incorporate selflessness and desire to satisfy your man/husband.

3. Sorry *hugs*

Timbuktuo:
Totally agree.


Hmm, I agree. I truly do.


Again, I agree.


I don't disagree. I want to ask, though, at why age did you marry?


1. It's got nothing to do with following women, it's a nihilistic approach knowing there's no point to keeping oneself knowing/thinking no woman deserves such.



2. Men mostly send wives packing because wives have been adulterous or she simply is a thorn in his flesh, read contentious. It really is better to kive on the corner of the roof than with a contentious woman. Per the Nigerian scene, I'm not really concerned about who initiates but that it happens and where it doesn't, the marriage is severely dysfunctional to the point of a farce.


3. Maybe I can't pull up a direct quote, but I'm sure you're very pro equality in marriage.

4. The purple pill thing is antithetical to the red pill for obvious reasons. There are hard and fast rules in the red pill that have no accommodation for the blue pill. Mixing them is quite like being neither bird nor beast.

5. So, you're not a feminist? Always had the impression you were. Maybe I have comprehension issues after all.




6. There are way less chances of that, aren't there? A spouse is more likely to commit murder than a sibling. No, marriage doesn't end at death, especially if there are no childrwn involved. That's Christian marriage you're talking about, which is just a fraction of the number if marriages worldwide. . None of my business you say? Okay.

7. She is free to sort herself out within the ambit of the union. . As far as she isn't doing any monkey business, we're all good.


8. In serial monogamy, you only have one wife at any point in time.


There's always a catch.

We need to sign an agreement hahahahahahahahahahahahaha.

@marriage: met my husband at 17+ and married at 25+

1. Addressed this in another post.

2. Hmmmmmm. We both know it is not always true.

3. Yes, I am. Equal partners, different roles.

4. @bold: Absolutely.

5. I am. Don't see the need for the reference though.

6. Maybe in classic western culture. In Nigeria with inheritance / using other people's luck and pure evil; I am sure siblings and spouses keenly compete for 1st position. What’s your business with your spouse after your death? Even you make it your business, what can you do about it?

7. Ok. If she knows this, then fine.

8. I know the definition; what is the difference really?

Timbuktuo:
1. The wall is relative, sure, but the general idea is the same. At a point, a woman isn't as attractive as she was once was, it's a fact of nature. As for looking in the wrong pool, I think modern socialisation is to blame for that, it wasn't always so. Also, I think a feminisation of men has led to men losing that manhood factor. It rubs me the ring way when I hear men say they don't want to "marry a liability". I'm not saying she can't have her own income, but liability? I think men should be men, and women women.

2. You know I'm right. By the way, did you have to wear masks in your younger days just to scare guys off? Just asking.

3. How many rich guys are there anywhere? Most people in the world are average per the standard of their communities. Most of the Naija returned that show up at Christmas are like average or even below, yet Naija girls will gladly receive the mark of the beast just to date them.

The point, though, is that many of these girls do not take advantage of their youth to select the best out of what nature has offered them. They constantly think they can do better, therein lies the problem. Some do, many don't. Having the time of your life is quite intoxicating especially when there are so many men willing to flex you steady.

4. It's a small percentage of guys that break up post service, that's more of a woman's game in my experience. The ratio is heavily skewed towards women exiting the relationship. To borrow your line of questioning; how many graduates have the means to settle down?

Of course, guys eventually know it's about the money, I've been saying that. Which would explain why they feel they should go for the best women, the youngest, freshest ones. Didn't they have girls breakup with them for lack if money? Of course they did, and they learnt the bitter lesson. Owó nìkan ló lè sé( na only money fit do am). How many times have I read on this small nl guys say, "don't chase women, chase money and women will flock to you"? Na so life be. When a guy loses his girlfriend to a more comfortable dude at 24/25, and then he becomes comfortable at 27/28/29, you think he's going to pick a 27/28/29 year old grandma?

5. Older women are more money conscious than younger ones. While the woman at her peak can have the best guys, she doesn't necessarily feel obliged to. At that storage, she more about adventure than finances. The almost at the wall and post wall women are the ones that really factor in finances.

1.True although I wouldn't say less attractive; I would say a different type of attractiveness that's best appreciated by a guy who put you there. That aside, I am a very huge fan of early narriage to young men. I also cringe when traditional men so fixated on enjoying the privileges of headship open their mouths to call non-earning wives liabilities. I know the older Igbo husbands were always willing to embrace the responsibilities and rights of headship.

2. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha, why would I want to wear a mask? I would still need it now na.

3. I guess I must be strange not to see going on sexual/non-sexual dates with different men and collecting unwarranted gifts as 'flexing'. I agree with the choosing part. I know someone who was my mom's age mate and unmarried. At that age, she rejected a divorcee because he wanted only traditional wedding; she rejected a widower because she didn't want to train another person's kids; she rejected another guy because he was not too rich; she rejected adoption because she was required to pay for etc. Some people have delusions of grandeur and cannot really estimate their value for negotiations.

4. The guys also exit the relationship especially when they start to work or go for NYSC. 27/28/29 grandma? I agree that they will most likely go for slightly younger girls.

5. Maybe older women not working or comfortable on their own.

Timbuktuo:
I agree polygamy is quite the handful, and practising it in today's world would be even worse. That said, I would like to reiterate that I'm very open to divorce and maybe remarriage. This isn't because I hate women, but human nature us what it is. I'm over 30 and I've had relationships, I've seen marriages and there's a common thread that runs through them all. If I do eventually get married, I pray I'm lucky to find a woman who'll understand me, and share my values and be loyal to the union and the family as I intend to be. If I marry something who appears to be all these things and who turns out to be disappointing, I will not endure.

There are duties and responsibilities I'll be expected to fulfill and I fully intend to, I also fully expect to be accorded the privileges that soneone in my position should enjoy. I will not tolerate any shortchanging because I myself will be giving my all and will not be shortchanging anyone.

Even people who do not believe in divorce know not to reward their spouses when they do something wrong.

That's why I think advice of wear hot pants, Bleep him harder, cook his favorite meal, provide all her needs etc. are shitty advices when a partner is wrong.

I read a book written 30yrs back that was telling husbands/wives to start withdrawing privileges commensurate with the offence when they start to misbehave.

You don't give sweets to a child throwing tantrums.

menxer:
It's not what I think, it is the reality I see people live and I experienced it first hand. Most ladies start to be "lukewarm" in terms of sex in long term relationship, because they feel "secured" and the guy has to dampen his sex needs accordingly or he looks for a "side chic" to fill the gaps, thus "cheating" on his wife.

I don't personally like calling it "cheating," as it evokes a sense of guilt. In my experience, I used to have sex like 3-4 times in a week, but now being in a "committed" relationship I hardly get it once a week. I have done all I could to help her in that regard but her interest in sex is waxing cold, so what should I do? Break up with her because of inadequate sex, that I can get filled in elsewhere?

I have come to terms that the sacrosanct basic needs of a healthy adult are food, clothing, shelter, sex.

Looking crotically, what do you think went wrong.

Now I am curious; if women like sex yet would deny their husbands because they are secure, how do they cure their urges?

Sagamite:
For now na!

I know all these things, buka, buka.

That is the rule for now when you seem very happy.

He will most likely adhere to the rules and think it is set in stone, while you can change it anytime you want because "women are complex".

What you are practising now is number 11. When you are not happy anymore, then we will most likely see you engage in number 5, number 10 and number 11.

https://www.nairaland.com/962850/ladies-which-these-dating-evils

And if you are a very bad girl, maybe even number 6.

I have said it all before about what women will do tomorrow and what they will do when they stop loving you.

https://www.nairaland.com/13568/prenuptial-agreements/5#6974151

Only a man that has not come of age will judge a woman by what she is doing today or what she is doing while she loves him.

I am Sagamite. I am old when it comes to those terms. My coming of age is almost 50 years old now.

Stumbled on this 5yrs later and it's funny.

Married for 4yrs and loving it.

Johnson5258:
Well said but a random person cannot pastor in rccg without being a member and has attained the position. May Holy Ghost service go hot!

Hahhahahahahahahahahaa.

Very true.

tobianthony:
To be honest ....it wasn't until I started to read rollo's work that I realised that I had been going about this whole relationship thing so wrong .

This article is one of the most important must reads on his blog .

I won't say much because I'm still reading the back and forth between you guys . Interesting nonetheless .

I noticed that the average Nairalander did not comment ...perhaps the writing style of the author scared them away .

But this is something that most Nairalanders need to know and need to practice .


I would urge some of you to start a red pill thread here but .. we all know how that would go .

@Bold: remember context and your own beliefs.

The owner of The Rational Man blog claims to be married to the woman he loves with a kid and probably not cheating. He also says that he deals with the theoretical aspects meaning he might not practice all he preaches.

It is same with all ideologies.

The theory is very different from practical applications.

tobianthony:
Hmmm...interesting ....had to check the profile of the OP to be sure it wasn't a male posing as a female but it seems legit .

I have to go to work ...but I will read again properly .

I thought I was the only one who follows Rollo here ...glad to see others .

Again I'm surprised that a woman brought this up .

I will comment later in the day fully .

I commend you all for this . OP good one .

Detector Tobi, welldone .

Do I believe in the Red Pill Religion? Certainly not. They approach relationships from a confrontational POV and constantly thinking how to outmanoeuvre the women in their lives. I doubt there is a place for love and genuine commitment in their books.

However, we learn from different places and the topic of sex in marriage interests me very much so yes, I appreciate the perspective the RP bring to it on sustaining desire.

@Good one OP: Thank you

P.S.: Why are you surprised a woman brought this up?

mrking3:
Well, I can only say its by the Grace of God Almighty! Me and my Fiance just celebrated our 8yrs of Relationship recently! And hoping to Get married Next month by the special Grace of God. My Dear, I would say its God! Especially when its a Long Distance Relationship Like ours. We built our Relationship on solid foundation with True Love, TRUST and understanding. I would say I'm lucky to find someone that we are both compactable! It doesn't take rocket science to know when you truly love each other. Most importantly, if you make Sex your priority in your relationship, it won't work! We spent 3yrs plus without Sex! And we were very much commited to each other with the Highest Level of Trust coupled with constant communication. My Dear, what works for me, might not work for you! I don't think there's a single theory that guides Relationship. I think its quite relative. True relationship goes with a lot of sacrifices. One of the partner must be willing to sacrifice his or Her right to make sure there's Peace. You can't always have your way. You must be tolerant and very contented with each other. We attempted break up for several times! But never worked out!! We loved our selves so much that we can't stay apart from each other for just one day even after serious misunderstanding. Well, I'm her first love and she's also my First and last. My Dear, true love is sweet when you find the right person. Finnaly, patience is a virtue! I know a lot of guys that would readily crash out of the relationship once their partner says NO SEX! This is just one common issue with most guys! What helped me was that I actually saw my fiance as just a friend at the initial start of the Relationship. Till today, she remains my Best friend and partner. We are not perfect! I'm truly Grateful to God.

Lovely lovely lovely.

A lot of similarities with me

yettymuse:
This thread is DEEP!

What are your thoughts?

Luxed:
I'm a woman!

How are you now?

Ebuka2016:
money and love to mention but few

Money: If a woman works and earns well, is money still a factor for her?
Love: Do you think most wives get love from their husbands?

Daeylar:
Not to derail and as much as this can be a topic on its own. I'm interested in the answer to this.

Let's watch na

MrMcJay:
Properties acquired in Redemption Camp can be lost in 3 ways:
A. The owner is a Pastor and he resigns and quits RCCG.
B. The owner is a registered member and he leaves RCCG.
C. The owners dies and none of his children attends RCCG. The property automatically belongs to RCCG.

As for the logo and name, the model is a franchise model. The HQ contributes nothing when the local parish is being set up but when the local parish collects tithes and offerings, 70% goes to the HQ.

The only thing contributed by the HQ is the authority to use the RCCG logo and name to operate the local parish and collect offerings from members.

Do you have a source for the property thing?

There is an hierarchy (Parish - Area - Zone - Province - Region - National) so the Zone creates a new parish and allocates parish pastors from existing workforce to man the new parish.

A franchise would mean that a random person can approach the church for rights to use the logo which is not what happens.

Ugosample:
not always true

A lot of men at 38 sef don't feel it much, especially when his mates gist him about the horrors they go through in their own marriages

The truth is that marriage to a large extent not worth it to the man here .
the wahala is too much

What is the benefit of marriage to women?

Ex-RCCG Pastor Wellington is free to resign from pastoring a parish.

I also agree with getting money from members under different guises after collecting tithes and offerings which makes one wonder what they really do with the tithes and offerings.

Each parish also has to remit about 70% of their monthly income to the national while the pastors run the church with 30% and have to account for it.

I also have reservations about the weekly feeding because most parishes struggle to survive on the 30% and feeding the members would increase the burden on the pastors who would be forced to shift the cost back to the members (workers and ministers) they are feeding.

However, I have not heard a parish pastor having the money to himself or been loaned the logo or members of the church. The pastors account for the last farthing they spend and some have to use their personal funds to run the church. Neither have I heard that properties bought in RCCG camp are confiscated after a pastor resigns.

profolaolu:
How will she know if I didn't tell her

People pray, are discerning and do their due diligence.

If you sow the wind, you reap the whirlwind .

@OP:

Except I did not get the story clearly, the wife is already three months pregnant so how can she be a virgin

This story sounds like the husband did this to pay her for something she did in the past.

profolaolu:
It obvious the man looses interest in the girl.



Well that is why I laugh at people that says virginity doesn't make good marriage, it is a dump excuse,I have dated virgins and after been disflowered, they become liars,cheats and exhibit some kind of bad behaviors,a girl with her virginity may be bad but when disflowered she will obviously become worst,ask the person that disflowered you or ur wife if I lie,as for me I will rather marry a virgin or stay single,I prefer brand new iPhone X to fairly used or bad used iPhone 3,I have class,it is not negotiable.

It is good to have standards.

The problem will just be that the virgins might not want a used guy like you.

Timbuktuo:
Well, not all women sleep around, though, I wouldn't vouch for any. Maybe we will discuss this some other time.

A lot of ladies do not sleep around.

Timbuktuo:
The justification for red pill men RPM sleeping around is the sexual liberation women have and use liberally. No man wants to hold the short end of the stick at the end of the day, that's why we always want to know our women's sexual history. I don't want to have a measly two women under my belt while my wife has like 35. No way.

A red pill man who sleeps around because women are more sexually 'liberal' is a fool and defintely not a man worth having. This paragraph is as crazy as a NL lady who was happy that her friend dumped her ex days to the wedding because men jilt women. This is where I differ with the two schools of thought:
School 1: a man can sleep with as many girls as possible while a girl must be chaste.
School 2: a woman is free to sleep around because men do.

I believe both parties must be as chaste as possible. if as a man , I have kept myself, what is my business with women who have played the field? I will seek for a woman with my values ditto a woman.

I wanted a guy with as little body count as possible and I got it even better. I do not want a man who has wasted his youth sleeping about. Sex is spiritual as it is physical. I believe it is about values really, My siblings and I were brought up to be sexually pure and i am glad we stayed d on track.

Timbuktuo:
IMO a red pill girl is a step in the right direction. If more women became red pill, they could effect less promiscuity among men. The more sexually liberal women become, the more sexually liberal men become. If a woman is trying to become wife material, more power to her elbow I say.

Men who are supposed to lead and dominant are waiting for women's lead on sexual purity? Super amazing. The pastor who did our counselling was telling us how older men used to do crash courses on sex for 'brothers' who were getting married because they were virgins. those men stood up for the right thing and naturally sought women their tastes.

Timbuktuo:
Per the gender wars thing, the west is ahead of us in terms of liberalism in relationships and they naturally have seen its ill effects. Divorce is just beginning to gain ground here and they had it on a massive scale sice the late 80s. I think we would do well to learn from their own experiences.

2. By the way, as a Christian, which you claim to be, submission shouldn't repulse you. I believe there is no such thing as a Christian feminist, not that I live by the Bible anyway. Just saying you cannot argue from the Christian Bible and feminist Bible at the same time.

@Divorce, I think both societies have different issues. Here, we are used to patching up abuse and infidelity that when spouses decide to move on, we scream divorce rates. And I will wage that most of the divorce rates referenced women initiating the divorce. The instances where men send the wives packing or walk out on them to start new families with their concubines are not counted.

2. I doubt I mentioned submission repulsed me. I said there can be no red pill girl because what she wants is an antithesis to what red pill has to offer. There is something called purple pill which takes the good characteristics from both sides. She can at best be purple pill. Same way, I referenced two Christian bloggers who believe in submission for different reasons. Please send me a copy of the feminist bible, I need to see what's it.

Timbuktuo:
Your last paragraph: marriage has always been about raising children in a conducive environment which money was a huge indicator of. I'm sure our ancestors didn't marry for love, I'm sure it didn't even cross their minds that such a think could exist . Our fathers are turning in their graves as we sell out our manhood for the promise of affection

Is it not better for my blood to inherit my property than some manipulative opportunist? Why should my widow inherit my property when she only tolerated me when I was alive and she would probably remarry following my demise? Who knows if she even was responsible for my demise in the first place?

You see why our forefathers were wise? Polygamy was the default, bit you new school people say it's barbaric and archaic. "Marry for love" you say, but love is a scam. I am fully content to be a serial monogamist, I wouldn't try polygamy. Any woman that cannot abide by my ways will be summarily replaced. She can go and argue with her forefathers.

Your blood that also might have killed you for the properties? Marriage is a lifelong contract which ends at death so what your wife does after your demise is really none of your business.

If you do not want your wife to inherit your properties, then don't pool resources together to do any projects and don't be offended when she decides to sort herself out with/without your knowledge.

What is the difference between polygamy and serial monogamy?

Marriage for love works fine for me. It is the only platform where you get spouses who like you for you.

Timbuktuo:
I couldn't answer this satisfactorily in my last response, so let me have another go at it here.

Yes, AF/BB is largely a stage thing. There's something known as 'the wall' in our lingo which signifies the stage at which women lose their swag if you will. They become too old to attract as many suitors, the mgbeke stage if you will. They still are good looking but an old fine woman is still old. This is usually their 30s. This is the stage where many of them will marry anything, they will even pay their own bride price and sponsor the wedding. They know they are almost if not totally out of the market. This is the Shiloh/Holy Ghost Congress Stage.

The 'wall' is different for different women and areas. Again, most of them are looking in the wrong pool.

Timbuktuo:
Before this stage are the 'party years' where she gets toasted like a million times a day. She goes to buy toothpaste in her most unflattering sleeping clothes and cars are parking and honking just to get her attention. Guys are offering the world to her just to get her number.

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!

Timbuktuo:
The ladies in or appraoching the first scenario are the ones that usually revert to BB if they are lucky to find a well-to-do individual showing interest or they even seek such men out. This is their last chance and they have to make it count.

The women in the first second scenario usually don't see a need to settle so they go for the top guys the alphas. They are in the form of their lives and thy might as well get the best men on offer.

Again, AF/BB is a stage thing. If a man is looking at marriage, he will someone's BB. I would believe that most of them use that period to get the best men to settle with. Abeg, how many rich men are in Nigeria

Timbuktuo:
This explains why couples break up after graduation or after NYSC because the girl realises she doesn't want to live with this broke dude who's still trying to find his feet who might not even make it; meanwhile they get married inside a year of NYSC completion because they've hit the jackpot of a comfortable 'God-fearing' dude. Many of these marriages aren't what the men think they are, or maybe they are; after all yorubas have a saying "owo ni obinrin mo" (women only know money).

This is not a full representation of the issue. On one hand, you truly have girls who cannot wait. On the other hand, you have guys who say the ladies are too old for them and want fresh blood when they make it. There are countless stories of ladies ditto guys bitten by waiting for the university lovers.

You are missing the point that some men intentionally seek out young ladies as wives. They know they are offering the financial stability and expect full compliance to whatever they want in addition to the youth she is bring to the table. If they wanted a financially stable partner, they should have married their mates. They know it is about the money.

Timbuktuo:
So, yeah it's a stage thing that's why any redpiller worth his salt will tell a man to marry a girl when she's at her peak because at that stage she really wants you and not your money. Of course she wants the money but she wants you badly as well, and at that stage money really doesn't mean so much to her.

I laugh in Japanese. A girl at her peak is more likely to pick the richest/loves her most cos she is at the peak. I think you are describing ladies who have 'hit' the wall.

Timbuktuo:
Been a bit busy and such, thanks for the welcome. Eyin naa ku ile.

1. What's there not to believe? Even your opening post hints towards this. A BB who used to be AF thought he was growing into a mature man not knowing he was becoming the very thing his wife didn't like. He basically softens up to be what he thinks his wife wants which turns her off. He thinks he needs to be even more romantic which turns her off even more. If he knew better he would literally keep being his former self.

I don't really agree with your Naija uni scenario. Almost all the girls have sex, I'd say about 98%, I leave out the remaining 2% because there would be natural exceptions.

2. I think it's a wrong strategy to pluck a babe from a relationship as you say. The implications aren't palatable at all. Recently, there was a thread about the silent divorce rate among igbos for exactly this same reason. It is always a better strategy to grow with a woman. Note that this isn't foolproof but it is better than a rich/comfortable dude plucking a girl from nowhere and wiring her up quickly. This actually scares me, because I want a girl that's really into me and wants nothing more than a future with me with no strings attached. There was a thread last month or so about a man whose business was going through a rough patch and he said it opened his eyes to the realities of the power of mo ey in a relationship. Meanwhile there are men who have lost their means of livelihood whose wives still accord them respect as though their finances were still in good shape.

3. Of course God has true love, but most people are shocked when their spouses true colours show forth during a separation or divorce, yes even Christian couples.

4. Mind that in the traditional setting everyone knew their place. The man was the provider and the woman submitted, both out of duty. A poor provider was condemned just as much as a 'bad wife'. Today, the traditional way is seen as archaic, even misogynistic. However, women still want the provider man while being as flexible as possible with submission and even outright calling it slavery and shaming men who want submissive women. Alas, women's default setting is to be submissive, but to naturally dominant men, yet they have socialised that dominant streak out of men.

The mutual system has a high rate of failure because it is unnatural to both sexes. Are you aware men in the West are avoiding marriage because they consider it being too risky for them?

5. Divorce in any instant the man feels his needs aren't being met. Why should he stay in a marriage that doesn't make him happy?

A wa ni yen

1. @Naija girls, I am saying the reason they have sex. Except uni setting has changed, some girls are in a relationship where sex happens; others hopping from one bed to another do so in return of something else they don't have.

2. I agree with you that it is nonsense especially when they girl's heart is else where. This your grow with your woman strategy is new school which you don't strike me as. Please share the link to the thread. Igbo was always seen as the tribe with least divorce rates.

3. I agree

4. In that same traditional setting, men and women did not grow together; the men plucked their wives from whereever. It seems you want to eat your cake and keep some in the fridge. Mbanu!

5. This is a joke right? *rolls eyes*

Mindfulness:
A friend of mine bought a huge building with her husband. The right wing of the building is the house and the left wing is a bed and breakfast and a restaurant where events such as weddings etc take place. They also have a three-year-old child. I have seen them renovate and refurbish the building. Gosh, a lot of work, hard work, exhausting even if rewarding. Now that the building is ready, it is booked out with one event following another. They have a few reliable employees and they are still looking for qualified people to employ long term and do a lot of the work on their own. When I last asked her if a second child will follow, she told me that they very much wish for a second child but lately did not even have time to make love. This, guys, is the reality. Life happens! Times will change but for now both of them are often too tired in the evening or go to bed at different times so that there are few opportunities and little energy to make love. We are no longer teenagers in this section to discuss this bullcrap about alphas and betas.

Have realistic expectations! There will be times where your libido will be higher or lower, where you two will have more or less time and energy. Sometimes you will have to deal with sickness and other problems.

Another instance. A friend of mine who has been together with her husband ever since she was 14, yes 14, and has 3 kids with him experienced phases where she would only have s.ex to satisfy him, not because she felt like having s.ex. Now that their youngest son is 11 and she is less occupied with her children as they have or are in the process of becoming more self-reliant, her libido has increased and her husband is jokingly telling her to give him a break. It is difficult for some women to be mothers during the day living in the child's pure and innocent world and be s.ex vampires at night. It is not easy to switch between those roles.

There will be times in your marriage where s.ex will become less. You cannot f*** like Hot teenagers and never get tired or jaded, hence the saying absence/distance makes the heart grow fonder. Some Jews do not touch each other at all in public and only have s.ex when the woman is ovulating, which is also the time when the female libido increases. I am not saying we must follow their traditions and customs but they make sense to some degree and I think men should know how the female body works even though every woman is different.

Some men also experience a decline in their libido due to different factors. It is human. If s.ex is the basis of your marriage, it is a shaky foundation.

This article is talking more about a wife who rather does chores than sleep with her husband or grudgingly obliges him with duty sex. She doesn't just want her husband. Some cheat; some fantasize about other men; some stay on their own. Yet when these women want something, they know who to seduce their husbands.

grandstar:
The primary problem is that this is still a backward and macho society so women take the backseat.

Men dictate when they want to have sex

And women don't dictate? If I remember correctly, one of the case studies initiates sex with her husband; he doesn't just respond which is also wrong.

Ramdeuter

raumdeuter:
Na you dey always like this kain topic

https://www.nytimes.com/2018/04/06/style/modern-love-sleeping-with-married-men-infidelity.html

What do you think about this link above you dont have to discuss it here

Lol!

It is one of the most important things in life na!

Mindfulness opened a thread on it.

AussiePlayboy:
I've come to notice a common misconception about many people, especially the ladies and some guys who dont know better and think that owing a car and paying rent for an accommodation are signs of success.
.
I find it appalling, really appalling. Thankfully, at 23, I bought my first car and moved out of my parents place and a year after, I still totally don't consider myself close to successful. I even feel like there is a lot I am not doing with my life.
I presently work in a top multinational company(outside Africa) and get paid flights and accommodation(even at the moment) in the best hotels in the world, yet I often see it like I have seen it all, and hence, its not true success. I am lucky, like really lucky to experience this at an early age and hence it has helped me understand what matters life.
I have seen so called "big men" loose everything in a flip of a second, I have seen what supposedly rich people go through and I sometimes marvel when I hear phrases like. "He owns a car and affords a 2/3 bedroom flat" so he is successful. Nawa o. My people nawa o.
Flat that one mistake at work or simply low turnovers beyond your control, and there is no difference between you and the guy carrying file on the street looking for job. Or car you have to keep that job to maintain? What about those in business depending on just one main client who they have to kiss their feet to ensure bills are being paid, yet brag. No matter how fine the apartment is, its still a liability to maintain, and you ll be kicked out, along whatever you put in there the moment you stop keeping the landlord quiet.
Also, its even funny how people see car as a luxury. Car is not a luxury. Having a car is just a basic necessity.
Nowadays, I flip through social media, and don't get moved. I just see people faking out their lives, with the temporary illusion of happiness, while I critically thing of the real things that matter. Too many people living hand to mouth, waiting for the next paycheck to maintain that lifestyle. That's not freedom to me. That's not even success

Draw your ears boy and girls.... Having a car with paying for a flat is NOT success. Heck, its not even a luxury.

The AussiePlayboy

The bold means you grasp what you are talking about.

A lot of people are trapped.

juche:
African men has some animalistic tendencies and orientations though not all. One of the major backward orientations is that of women domination. Is unfortunate that some men still see their wives as acquired objects which they will use whenever they want and however they like without resistance. How can a man even enjoy sex with an unconsenting woman ? Is terrible to still hear of men who beat up their wives and do all manner things for not consenting to sex. Sex should be consensual irrespective of who are involve. I m shocked to read comments here supporting husbands forcing themselves on their wives. These ladies are humans like guys, they have feeling, could be tired, worried, not happy, disturbe etc.

@bold:

Marriage gives perpetual consent.

Would a lady be tired sometimes? Yes. However, if she has not been refusing her husband before, he will know she is tired and let her be.