₦airaland Forum

Sophyrocks:
No wonder he just recently divorced his wife. I wonder if his new lover is a baby doll.

dorlapoh20:
this is a very sad story, The lady made some mistakes though. she shouldn't ave married the man she barely knew i bet she did not know his resident.
she should have indirectly asked for his divorce papers
but the deed has been done.
Get a job and take care of your children.God will judge the man and all those involved.

protegesol:
No need for pushing blames. She should count her blessings or losses and move on with her life.

Seun:
Obama's Daughters Break Protocol?
https://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2013/06/19/article-2344331-1A6396CD000005DC-844_634x377.jpg
https://i.huffpost.com/gen/1471889/thumbs/o-MICHELLE-OBAMA-SHORTS-570.jpg

Obama can't control his family?

oweniwe:
such statement coming from a lady.....
na una dey optimistic pass

Am not suprised

dinachi:
All these bought women like aisha2 n cococandy should please shut up! @OP great write up...All these fake feminists no go let us hear word here.The moment a bride price was collected over your addled brain....you have no right to come and start talking about slave- master mentality...pls shut up...you became a "slave" the moment you were bought..that is why you loose your identity and take on the surname of your husband...until you change all that you remain clowns

Nonso23:
The analogy is very valid.
You were questioning the logic behind paying the bride price since no human life has a price tag to it.
I was in return questioning the logic behind using spoons when the hands are more convenient, faster and 'handy'.
The answer would be: the rationale behind the two is non-existent. They are simply one of the colors to our existence as a people.

Hands can be easily washed and are way faster and more comfortable for eating foods (from experience here )
How about meats Cutlery vs 'the versatile 5 phalenges'

Those Yorubas might not take nada from you but as a groom you dare not show up empty handed at their doorsteps to ask their daughter's hand in marriage.
That is one commendable modification.

SirShymex:
I think dowry covers both sides, while bride price is basically just for the bride.

It's just like saying "homosexual" and "lesbian." Homosexual covers both sexes, while lesbian is basically for females.

cococandy:
Ladies the best way for your family to retain their respect especially in areas where bride price is high like my side and those elders don't listen to excuse is for your family to pay for the traditional marriage ceremony.

There's no way the bride price list will get to half of what your family will spend on the ceremony. At least the grooms family will also know that your family doesn't lack anything.
That's what we did.

Seeing the way some of those elders can be so mean and evil about bride price issues, you will pity your parents. Some don't even know your name but will be the loudest in demanding their 'rights' for coming to take their 'daughter'.
If you're not careful, they will ruin your day and reduce you to tears on your happy day.
Sanction and/or ostracize your parents even. Mean ppl I tell you.

I believe when that generation of oldies start dying off, stuff like that will become greatly modified But I sincerely wish it will go extinct.
We can have traditional weddings(which I love btw) without paying anyone elder or not for a daughter they didn't even raise.

SirShymex:
Dowry is also bride price. And in Islam for example, bride price is basically dowry (mahr).

This is the dictionary for reference:

- : a gift of money or property by a man to or for his bride.

http://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/dowry

Nonso23:
Why do you eat rice with a certain set of cutlery especially during public outings??

Since the main aim is to get the food into the stomach and the bare hands are very convenient and 'handy' why bother with the forks, spoons, and knives

bellong:
In that case, observe it for 13 days...

Let the race begin.....

bellong:
You can give it a try. In the absence of a diet, you can be doing 20 sit up daily. It helps in burning abdominal fat.

bellong:
We will soon arrange deliverance for you with this obsession about parts of the body....

The diet aims at achieving an overall reduction of weight (adipose tissue) in all parts of the body for those that can observe it religiously.

But going by the picture of you that I saw, I don't think you need it except you have dream to become a lepa...

LordReed:
I just wonder why people think marriage is a magic formula that makes people perfect and Happy. Marriage is work, two people working together to achieve goals and dreams. So one person drops the ball and you think all will be well? If I go cheating I don't expect my wife to take it calmly similarly for her. You must hold up your end of the bargain. Lapses and errors can be mitigated but to wilfully jeopardize your union and still expect a pat on the back is craziness.

Once again MARRIAGE IS NOT MAGIC.

cococandy:
no

dinachi:
So Bukatyne was 'bought' by a man...hahahahahahaha! Now I know why you sound so bitter against men... Pseudo feminist! Just joking sha. I believe the culture is good..it helps to make marriage in Nigeria a serious business. Here a man does not just marry a wife...he marries her family and people and vice versa. We must not try to copy the west....where marriages takes place with reckless abandon and divorces follow suit. Our strong family and community spirit is one of the reasons marriage lasts here.

Nonso23:
Then the onus rests upon the new generation to teach the upcoming the true essence of that practice.
No one is buying anyone and besides the practice could be tailored to the taste of the concerned couple.

We tear down more than we build in this country.

bellong:

LaShawn:
@ bread planet
My condolences. Please take heart...


@all
I'm So touched by all the advice. Thank you So much as you tried to allay my fears. I'm a lot better now.

The truth is that I never wanted whisking their brother away. I would never come in between him and his family. Maybe that is What they were scared of. But I just don't fancy the whole reporting isssh.

I have decided to talk to him about things Because it is his duty to protect me and to lay the foundation of How his people relate to me.

I'm cool with MIL. We've even told each other 'I love you' on phone. Our relationship grew to that point and I'm wondering why the others are trying to force What should be allowed to progress naturally. My friendships start very slowly But I end up having these same friends for years and years once the friendship is established.

Thank you all from the bottom of my heart.

@ bukatyne
No it is not that guy. That is not to say this guy doesn't have his own issues too. With my track record though, I have some measures on ground So I never become a victim of what I've been through before.

Nonso23:
This is my stance. Modify the culture but retain its color.
Here it is all scrap! scrap! scrap!

Nonso23:
Polygamy and other things we call vices today were not the fault of men the society of old tolerated it. Our mothers were submissive and not doormats. Submissive did not and does not connote stupid and dumb.
What do you expect when African history was documented mostly by Europeans ?
The few indigenous ones are not even 1/100 times as popular.

We cannot isolate ourselves but we can choose what we accept into our system. We need to keep a lot of our culture. The beautiful aspects are too many and colorful to be called 'some'.
We need to reinvent ourselves by ourselves by ourselves. We are an intelligent people.

So much have been eroded by the culture. Our clothing most especially. That aspect we cannot change instantly unfortunately.