₦airaland Forum

pickabeau1: I don't believe Christianity has any variants
For anyone to say Nigerian bible or Christian etc means or connotes mixed religion. If Nigerian Christians are missing something I think a watchman should guide n show d way not seem to mock.

The op is clear...don't count how many times your brother sins against you..forgive.. Forgive..commit to the Spirit who truly convicts.

@Bolded, Nigerian Christians of the Nigerian god are not missing anything; they do not get it all. Have you read the Nigerian god article featured in Punch Column? Still searching for it

See the Authors' comment when some people will not let his wife be...

Okay..okay let me say this too: Emmanuel you too: This is entitled "The Imperfections of MARRIAGE", not the imperfections of The Wife, as you all, especially the MEN on this topic, love to bring up, "what about the wife..." or "what about the husband".... STOP IT! Take this word for the TRUTH that it is and STOP trying to turn it around on someone else! Turn this message to YOURSELF and go before God about what He can perfect in the imperfect YOU, not your spouse. Didn't you pay attention to what was said about God showing me MYSELF every time I complained to Him about my wife? Let me guess, you read half the post, got carried away and just started commenting without even reading the whole thing. How can you comment on half of a thing when you haven't read the WHOLE of a thing? You CAN'T! So PLEASE STOP, THINK FIRST, THEN MAKE YOUR COMMENT. Even if you have to REREAD the entire post, do that so you won't get on here and say all these irrelevant things that you say and get on here looking foolish. It's not a rant, it's juat the truth. Now leave my wife alone. *Arms folded* ☆PAV☆

pickabeau1: What type of comments did u see from Nigerians that were unchristian

I said Nigerian Christian not unchristian (two different things) besides, na that one be your concern or the OP?

Paraphrased: The wife is not submissive, a Nigerian wife cannot try that, etc.

Your thoughts on the OP

Stillfire: Thank you o.
Many single women make me sick, especially in the church...arrgghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!! That one is another story.
Every youth program would be turned to a husband finding and praying program.

It is not their fault.

Everywhere they are bombared with marriage.

I invited someone to my wedding and he said thank God, at last! and I was like? How old am I?

He feels 25yrs is the max a lady should be single

bellong: This is to help you reach those who wouldn't have time to click the link...

Thanks a lot, God bless you

I created the topic with my mobile

@Topic: Do some married peeps purposely flaunt their family to their single friends?

The comment page was so hilarious with some guys bringing Nigerian Christianity into it (The couple is black american by the way)

The Christian God is clearly different from the Nigerian god

Ok o,

I hear you

I agree that divorce is only for extreme cases (I don't even dig divorce. If you can't cope after all odds, just pack your bags and leave, If it is too hot, just run)

pickabeau1: You miss it...

Unrestrained calls for divorce by its champions is the issue
There is a process...counselling... Seperation....then divorce


If this lady feels infidelity is a no no...then she should make her feelings known with desire to protect herself

Some men will stop...others will not

The unrepentant cheats are a different kettle of tea

I would like to share a write up from Truly Faithful page on facebook. A Christian couple that have a facebook page

"THE IMPERFECTIONS OF MARRIAGE!" ~ PAV

Many times God will use the imperfections of your spouse to perfect an imperfection in you. Did you all catch that? Let me say it again. Many times, God will use the imperfections of your spouse to perfect an imperfection in you. Let me explain.

In my marriage, my wife hardly ever apologized first. It didn't matter if she was the one who was originally at fault, in the end, I always apologized first and this drove me to be angry with her many times. I remember several arguments in the past where I would have to apologize first in order for the argument to end. Then I would bring up to my wife how yet again, I had to apologize first and she would always bypass my complaint. It finally got to a point that I started complaining to the Lord about my wife. Well, I was tired of it so I asked the Lord, "Why do I ALWAYS have to be the one who apologizes first? Why can't she just admit she is wrong and apologize? Is that so hard? I can do it, so can she"! But the Lord would always show me something about me! I didn't understand. There I was coming to the Lord about her yet He was showing me something about me. So what was my response? "But what about HER? Why won't you change her"? And that is when He made it clear that He wanted to change ME! It was frustrating to keep going to God about changing my wife and getting that He wanted to change me but, I eventually realized what God was doing. He was in fact working on me.

God showed me that He wanted me to stop complaining about my wife and PRAY FOR HER in that area! He wanted me to stop complaining to her about her and pray with her more. He wanted me to keep apologizing and stop keeping count. If I was wrong I needed to apologize but if she was wrong, I needed to stop expecting her to apologize and forgive her anyway. Doesn't seem fair does it? It doesn't seem fair that my wife, as a believer, could not apologize first to me, her husband. Here we are as two believers in a Godly marriage and I had to forgive her whether she apologized to me or not. Not fair at all. But I didn't get married for everything to be fair in my marriage. I married to be the Christ-like husband I was called to be and apart of that meant that I would not be weary in well doing.

So what did I learn? I learned that to do good is good, so why should I get weary? If I'm doing God's laws, I should have peace and joy that I am obeying Him and pray for my wife if she is disobeying Him. That does not mean I don't tell my wife what's on my heart, it just means I don't beat her over the head with her flaws and throw my good deeds in her face by constantly reminding her of what she's not doing while telling her the good I am doing. Did any of you catch that?

It is not for spouses to parade their good deeds in each other's faces. "I always apologize to you but you never apologize to me" or "I always do this but you never do that" or "At least I do this because you don't even do that"! Because what good will that do? Is that building your spouse up in their area of weakness? Is that putting your spouse above yourself? Is that doing all you can to live at peace with your spouse? No. Doesn't mean I can't share my frustrations or dislikes with my wife, it simply means I DON'T HOLD IT AGAINST HER and treat her as such. No, I just keep doing what I am supposed to do because remember, I and I alone will have to stand before the Lord on how I treated the wife He gave me when this life is over.

I have learned and I am still learning that when my wife has an imperfection and it bothers me, that God is going to use her imperfection to perfect an imperfection in me. So now I just prepare for Him to work on me. You can't tell people you're a work in progress and remain the same because a work in progress has NOTICEABLE PROGRESS not stagnation!

In the end, I stopped complaining about my wife and began to pray for her more. I stopped telling her how I always apologize first and kept apologizing first anyway. My attitude changed from complaining about her imperfection to asking God to perfect me in my imperfection towards her imperfection. Did you catch that? LOL! And God began to work.

A few years ago, my wife and I had a disagreement and I thought lightening flashed when she said, "I'm sorry"! I was literally shocked because she said it FIRST! Just as I was about to joke about her being first to apologize, the Holy Spirit tugged at my spirit that now was not the time to joke. And do you know why? Because God was at work in her life. Just as she was apologizing, the Lord began to show me that apologizing was not easy for my wife so for her to apologize first meant that God was not only working on her, but He was also ANSWERING MY PRAYERS! And ain't no time for joking when the Lord is working and answering prayers at the same time. Isn't God awesome? He was delivering my wife and answering me at the same time. Nobody but GOD can do that!! Now I will be honest, it took many times in between for her to make apologizing a habit but TODAY, she will apologize when she is wrong and many times she is first to do so.

The point I'm making is this..many times, our spouse's imperfections are because of a struggle within them that God has been trying to work out in them for the longest of times. My wife confessed to me how in bondage she was to "being right" so apologizing was hard, even as a believer. And that goes to show you no marriage is perfect, not even a marriage of believers.

Like my wife said in a previous post entitled "CALLED TO LOVE FOR LIFE", in marriage, we will have to endure and forgive each other. We will have to be patient for change in each other but more importantly we will have to recognize that the imperfections that bother us, many times God will use to work on us. So let Him! Because God also showed me that I was keeping score in my marriage but that true Love keeps no record of wrongs (1 Cor 13:5d).

So allow God to perfect your imperfections. The next time your spouse does something to get on your nerves, go before the Lord and say, "It's me Lord and I'm bothered by what my spouse is doing. Nevertheless, work on me in this area and help my spouse in their area of struggle. Deliver us both but start with me Lord so I can love them through their struggle" and watch God begin to work!

Phil 1:6, "Being confident of this very thing, that He which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ".

Psalm 138:8(a), "The LORD will perfect that which concerneth me..."

1 Cor 13:5 (NIV), "...(LOVE) does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs".

Gal 6:9 (NLT), "So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up".

Please share this with as MANY as you can! Thanks Fam! — with Julia Seyi Pedro and Abosede Olufunso.

https://www.facebook.com/BeTrulyFaithful/photos/a.212819528767214.53317.173463362702831/557547304294433/?type=1&comment_id=736043729778122&notif_t=like

What do we think?

pickabeau1: That is the womans choice
I believe when more women put their foot down and collect spousal seetlements due to adultery led divorce.. infidelity will reduce... (of course marriage rates will also reduce as no one wants to lose his assets for something like a fling)

The women have their choice to divorce

Hmmm

And if people advice them to do so they suddenly become feminists, home breakers or bitter divorcees that want others to join them?

Hmmm again

freshdude2: You're trolling. Get thee behind me, woman

LOL!

pickabeau1: seems reasonable
The issue is the wife feels its not an issue

Since it is an issue to the husband, it has automatically become an issue to her.

freshdude2: Made in response to some other post. Of course, all humans have egos but it's generally believed men are highly egoistic.

A dead sibling is quite different to a less close relative. For example, naming a child after a dead grandfather, uncle, etc, hope you get my drift? I agree naming a child after a deceased sibling would be weird but then, there are those who have done that with their children. But we digress.

Well that belief is wrong

I get your drift.

pickabeau1: Noooooo this is my personal twist oo..
For cococandy stating that the middle name should be used, i now said what if the middle name of the child was also the middle name of the ex
GOBE!

O Ok

I still maintain that the boy's name is changed.

freshdude2: What is a man without ego?

What's she wearing?

You think only men have egos?

Or what has ego got to do with the issue?

Even if a child realises he or she was named after a dead sibling, he will feel like a aecond fiddle

pickabeau1: ...new twist

His middle name is the ex middle name also

Are you serious?

Did the wife name the son alone or is the second name just a coincidence?

The son should be rededicated and renamed

barcanista: we are not answerable to the US. They are NOT right to dictate to us as long as I am concerned.

#Nigeria Has Come of Age

And how is America dictating to us? Did they stop us from taking the drug?

Nigeria come of age? We never wear shoe not to talk of coming

Princek12: Since majority of Nigerians are either illiterates or educated illiterates, their response to America's claim does not surprise me. The scientist who created the so called ebola drug chose to remain anonymous. Why? He chose to because he is a scam. A real scientist will stand by his creation and defend it in peer review and scientific journals.

Which laboratory was used in the development? Has it been tested on animals? Is there a procedure in place for clinical trials? This "feel among" attitude displayed by all these benighted Nigerians without the infrastructure that entitles you to be among is laughable. You want to feel as though you are producing an Ebola cure but you don't have electricity, you have a decrepit educational system, you have no funding for scientific research, and you have no procedure for regulating clinical trials. But you want to feel among.

Good luck to the people taking Nigeria's Ebola drug.

Well said

Trust the average Nigerian to be ignorant & strong headed

Has the drug been tested on monkeys with Ebola?

Read this on femmelounge (a blog for women) and decided to share...

http://femmelounge.ng/ask-ada-they-keep-treating-me-like-im-suffering-because-i-am-single

ailehwise: I do that 4 both cases.
It is a sign of humility.

marieolae: Its called "being polite"

Thank you

I thank everybody that accepts my friendship invite on social media.

They counted you worthy of adding.

There is the option of rejecting friend requests you know

acidtalk: Common. What happened to our parent's generation where they believed and practiced the "for for better for worse" and stuck to their partners irrespective of their shortcomings. Not forgetting they were less spiritually going folks like we have today.

Isn't it obvious that we have more hipocrites today than ever.

More like wives sticking to their husbands irrespective of their shortcomings.

Having flings or cheating before marriage is suddenly not wrong or what calling off / posting a wedding over.

@Pls let your friend know(that's why you are a friend). You can tip her anonymously or tell her directly and leave the decision to her.

asadike: u dey ur final stage of kolomental,u no d face wey get dat pix nd ow ar u sure na me b dat? Gulible idiot. She is maried and u shud b able to differentiate btw maried and single. Aturu awusa

Why do we always see all these single & married ish?

An irresponsible single does not automatically become responsible when married else there will be no fraud, adultery, theft, kidnappings killing anymore.

@Post: Omoni looks cheap and empty headed.

It is her film and she oughy to shine and not compete on sluttiness.

Gorrbachev: My goodness, see inferiority complex. They even looked for an old picture of the Prof. where she is wearing a head cover. Person wey dey rock low cut. the cunningness of muslims irritates me. damn

Please post a current picture

Editted:

OP can you please change your picture and topic?

The most recent picture of her shows she is on low cut. Except you are telling us that some muslim women are exempt from the headcover, I do not think our prof is a poster woman for excelling muslim women

IbrahimMav: Alhamdulillahi.

A definite proof that Islam promotes and encourage Mathematics in all gender contrary to what western media would have you believe.

Masha Allah.

Abeg!

Enough of this muslim this and that

Is Noble prize an Islamic award?

A woman excelled in her field and instead to celebrate her and encourage others to emulate her, you guys turned it to a religious affair.

J12: Seriously? Must everything be about gender equality? This is just stupid

I believe in GE and I agree with your post

If men do the work, let them get the credit & vice versa.

The writer of the article just rubbished the woman's handwork by suggesting that she was given the prize because she is a woman and not because she deserves it.

OP: Kudos to the woman &her fellow awardees

mcfarlin: Thank you sir for that observation

Even in the olden days when hindus married at a very young age they were married to their age mates not some old phaggot.

Even MAHATMA GANDHI got married at the age of thirteen to his wife who was exactly thirteen...I pray this almajiris learn...ISLAME crippling peoples thoughts since 600AD

God bless you

If they want to marry toddlers, let them marry their age mate. Iam sure if she was forced to marry a 19 or 20yr old farmer, she might not have killed him

If the man marries her only, it would have been bearable. 10yrs later, he will probably throw her out and marry another baby.

I know someone who said his 23yr old wife was too old for him.He was in his 40s and she was the third wife. He got a younger one the next yr.

And their govt say they have problem of divorced women?

Them never start

carefreewannabe: I asked the same question. He told me google was my friend.

I used google and google told me that children do NOT marry in Western countries.

Maybe Saudi & Agfanistan

PassingShot: Even many western countries legally allow girls younger than 14 to marry. All that is required is the consent of a parent or guardian. So, from that context you cannot fault this practice since the consent of the parents were involved too.

And to say that she wouldn't have killed him if she went into it willingly is too bogus and not correct. We have seen many marriages of adults even in the south that ended in tragic just like this one. Only that in those ones we don't talk about age of the victim or the murderer since that is not always a factor.

My point is that she could still have killed him even if she was 35 years who chose to marry the man for many other reasons.

Can you please back this up with proofs?

Nashville: *yawns*

We done hear.

NEXT!!

You dey vex?

He is prepping women for marriage

royalsweetness: I believe the man should pay the bride price all by himself but all other costs concerning entertainment, white wedding and all the other unneccesary drama should be shared equally between the man and the woman. Or the richer person, whatever gender should carry the heavier responsibility.

Good one

Adaeze003: How about you give us a list of what men do without exaggeration? That'll be nice....

Was going to ask that

Lets assume two working spouses

Stephenem: I have seen marriages in which wives wash their husbands' clothes regularly. This makes me wonder if that's right. In my humble opinion, I feel that it's unfair when the wife is the one who washes for her husband. A wife is not a servant, but an equal partner. Anyway, I may be wrong. So let's hear from you, is it right for a husband to give his wife his clothes to wash? Bless you?

@ bolded, wives and husbands are equal partners however, clothes must be washed when there is no washing machine .

There is nothing wrong for a wife to wash her husbands' clothes and vice versa. The person readily available should do it.

I guess you are coming from giving wife clothes to wash... hmmm

It depends on the dynamics of the home