₦airaland Forum

Aitee1: If it is the fresh soft leafy pumpkin that you used then it's definitely not edikaikong that's normal vegetable soup that you cooked

Thanks

Then normal vegetable it is.

I do not want dry pumpkin leaves.

Aitee1: Sure I'm a proud native of Akwa Abasi Ibom state! My dear there is a big difference starting from the leaf, it is the strong almost dried kind of pumpkin leaf that's being used in cooking edikaikong soup unlike the vegitable soup where soft fresh leaf of pumpkin is used for normal vegetable soup, then the method of preparation also differ same goes with cost

Ok, apart from the dried pumpkin(which I will never try anyways), the major difference is cost?

I cook edikaikong well and I wanted to be sure the one I cook

Thanks

Aitee1: That's what most of them don't grab, they all mistaken normal vegetable soup with edikaikong soup, it's only in standard restaurants and hotels like 5star one can find edikaikong soup all what u ppl eat in an eatery is vegetable soup prepared with pumpkin leaf and water leaf

What is the difference?

Seems you are a native

Nice one

I have seen a very neat driver too

He wore a clean pair of jeans, nice pink long sleeves and canvas

I doubt he was a graduate though

UjSizzle:
I swear the message all around is how a woman must live to satisfy a man's needs.

**Great to know we must never exist for ourselves

I guess the OP is coming from marriage angle which in itself is not bad

The issue is that there are little or no threads on other aspects of a woman's life.

So it is live...... get married and die

Beautiful illusions

Well done OP

damiso: It's just human nature to complain or feel pained when you have sooo much stress or responsibilities on your shoulders.Its up to the spouse to choose to help relieve the stress and that's why these days women even want to contribute to the family purse so as not to make the pressure overwhelming on their spouses.

Why I said I will not talk is that on this thread I am baffled that people could say breadwinning is not naturally the woman's terrain she is just helping him and is not her role and then in other breadth say men have absolutely no right to complain when asked to help with the chores even if they pay 100% of the bills I am just a bit baffled ni.I though there was now no such thing as gender roles and chores are not the woman's role so why should breadwinning be seen as she 'helping' him when him doing chores is not seen as him 'helping' her?

Can you quote the particular post for reference?

I went through the thread and cannot see such

Kanwulia: You better beg them o!
Just as power dey sweet una for marriage, na so e dey SWEEEEEET us too o!
If he wanto CHOP my money, he better behave o!!!!
A man's blokos gets bigger as bread-winner. . . . .so does a woman feels like her poohcie gets tighter!

I guess they think that women do not want to dictate the tune too

For you to ask this question means there is really no need for it.

I wonder how someone went to secondary school, university and NYSC and still be thinking if it is right for a girl to live alone

Adedayolayo: how about summer lessons organised by some schools?

Any parent who still sends his or her child to school in this ebola period is in OYO

pickabeau1: Anyone is free to make his or her conclusions based on posts here

I dont believe a lot of what is said here anyway

People have e reputations to uphold

E reputation of a terrible fellow?

That's incredibly sad

I would understand someone faking a good husband/wife, rich, beautiful, influential but faking a terrible naija husband?

Na wa

pickabeau1: This post has to be commended and is against the mainstream view here that all naija guys are devils

This is why i find it absurd that some posters use NL posts as an indicator of Nigerian males

Its really weird

Oh well!

Most of the guys on NL pride themselves on being born cheats, wife first to greet etc.

Should we say most of them are just trying to spice NL or are they really serious and camouflage with good person persona outside their homes?

Afteral, most wife beaters do not beat their colleagues

ITbomb: Someone is getting scared, thanks Aisha for the consolidation.
@bukatyne, you are getting me wrong, I'm not that restrictive or narrow-minded, we have our dreams but we also have our wide ranges of tolerance

Good for you

ITbomb: [s]chemistry lecturer in the making according to bukatyne [/s]

I see you

Except she lectures in a University near your house or in your compound, she cannot get home by 4:00pm if she has a 4:00pm - 6:00pm lecture. If she is not teaching near your house, na problem.

The most important thing is having a wife who cares about building the home. Such a wife will make sacrifices and learn how to prioritize if need be

aisha2: In fairness to some men, they just dont up and decide, they consider some factors before suggesting that one parent should stay home, eg constant and consistent challenges with house helps, more responsibility at work etc. If they work together with their spouses and both decide for a while one should stay home then its cool, very small minority get up and decide for their wives and in most cases those ones are mostly control freaks with other issues

Actually, it's a small minority that decides with their spouses

Thank God you found your wife and kept her.

Finding is one thing; keeping is another

richyblink1: Amen!!! Thanks dear.

That's the essence of this forum ,being our brothers keeper.

If you check my posts on nairaland you will notice I like giving example with myself because of what I have actually learnt from experience. Grew up in an environment that made me venture into some stuffs I was never proud of, school runs (fraternity) careless life style etc. Aside from God, one person that believed I will actually change positively was my better half. Could remember years back when she will visit in the Hood (ghetto) , cook for me, wash for me, encourage me to go back home and unite with my parents and siblings etc. Can equally remember one morning when she went to fetch water, on her way back with the bucket of water on her head, an elderly woman traced her back to my house(ghetto).
The woman called me aside enquiring who she (my better half) is to me. I told she is (was) my babe. In the old woman's voice, "God has heard my prayers (her prayers) and send an angel to take me away from the ghetto. That was the year I actually left the ghetto and said goodbye to every negative life I lived.

Let me not derail the current discussion at hand, will creat a thread concerning my past, and how God gave me a second chance and sent a beautiful angel (my better half) that he created on Sunday morning to liberate me from blindness.

ITbomb: Teaching is in general terms, she could be a lecturer for chrissake.
But what I really mean is that she should have a job that is from 8am to latest 4pm.

A teacher is different from a lecturer really

But again, when you want to marry, choose a lady that already fits that criteria or is working towards fitting it.

Do not marry a lady who wants to be a doctor, lawyer, banker, entrepreneur, housewife etc. force her into teaching. We have enough frustrated teachers already

mumumugu: Invite us for divorce ceremony too

Back to sender by 100

Why not keep quiet if you have nothing to say

@OP: Happy Married life

Godmystrength: Yes...

It is well!

You will see teachers beating students like no tomorrow

Nothing like doing what you do because you want to

richyblink1: Permit me to laugh a little. I understand how you feel, but you need to accept women the way they are.

90% of women believe their money is their's while our money (men) is our's. Women pen's down every bit of cash they give us (men) whether small or large, and won't hesitate or forget to ask for it. Could remember what happened last weekend.
Was away for a function, got a call from my better half that the fuel in the generator was exhausted, so I asked her to get 20 litters from the filling station that I will refund her when I come back.
Immediately i returned from my trip, she stylishly said, " honey welcome back, I missed you, how was your journey, what did you get for me, ehen! Honey, please can I get my 2k back"? Not minding the fact that she was the one who enjoyed the comfort from the generator. I humbly smiled and hand her the said 2k. She gladly collected it and say thank you honey, I humbly replied, you are welcome.

Fast forward to to yesterday, she said, " honey, please can I get 5k from you, I want to quickly get something "? I handed her the 5k without complaining. This morning while she was preparing for work, I said, MD(my desire), please can I get my 5k back as I will need to use it back this morning? She reluctantly returned my 5k, and I wholeheartedly collected my cash and give her a kiss before leaving for work.

@op, women often believe whatever you collect from them is meant to be returned, while whatever they collect from you is for keep. Don't do it with power, just stylishly let her know that whatever that is good for the goose, is equally good for the gander!

@bolded,

beautiful!

@2nd bolded,

That's the way to go for both parties. Shouting and showing of power just causes unnecessary friction in the home

God bless your home

aisha2: Any man who wants submission should be ready to have unconditional love for his wife

Were you not taught that a man is the 'head' and wifey must submit whether his head dey there or not?

Stop it, I don't like it o!

@OP:

Let's say a couple should have unconditional love towards each other

Tricky part is how is it achieved or what if one party is dropping the ball?

Godmystrength: You can't blame her. Not every woman wants to be a teacher. It will be better to go an marry a woman that is a teacher (if you want to marry a teacher) than go and marry an engineer and then want her to become a teacher by your choice[/b][b].

See selfishness and show stopping of the highest order

God will not let my children see such

And you wonder why the standard of education is dropping daily; most teachers are frustrated; forced by their husbands, lack of employment etc.

ITbomb: Moderation is the key word
Your wife must work but not working herself out.
There should be a good job near home and closes in good time.

Remember she should be working for passion not killing herself for money.

A working mother builds the best home - ITbomb, 1998

I told one girl that I always wanted to marry a teacher, imagine the horror on her face (with her B Eng Chemical Engineering) , we broke up 2 months later

So she should become a teacher with B.Eng Chem Eng when she doesn't want to because she wants to become a Mrs. ITbomb?

That babe's heads is screwed on her shoulders. She knows what she wants and where she's going to.

If you want to marry a teacher, go to primary & secondary schools to look for a single teacher.

bukatyne: I make my rules and live by them...

Thanks for the compliment.

I usually say that most people do not know what marriage is about but they are like

It's the hubby or wifey that should be saying I live my life for my wifey/hubby (if both heads are screwed right)

Like I will tell my baby

It's Him&I (notice the lack of space) and ...........................................the kids!

No mind me, na so I like yori yori

One year after

Thank you God

StevinMorgan: BRAIN WARMER GAME
lets see how smart u are.

Just for fun.

comment the first three words you see.


Credit- fruz.wapka.mobi

Witty Soda Ring

And what did the 'Lord' do to him?

cococandy: And also HE who finds a WIFE finds a good thing.

Why are we running the race that was designated for men on our heads for that matter?

It is the work of the deil

cococandy!

Abegi! Marriage na the highest achievement o!

Come to think of it, na men suppose dey find marriage like this o!

It is not good for a man to be alone....

When the average Nigerian sees marriage (to dog, cat, goat) as the ultimate achievement, why wouldn't people marry anything to feel among?

Besides most people see successful african marriages as those filled with a long suffering and patient wife who endures it all. You blame people who want to start.suffering during courtship? Wouldn't they prove their wifey yards now?

When an average nigerian husband knows that the punishment/consequence of cheating/misbehaving is more cooking, more s.e.xx styles, more submission etc. why does he need to behave?

Are some of these girls' fathers not worse than these men? Don't their mothers take worse in other to keep their beautiful homes together?

@OP: God has given you a brain, intuition and commonsense. Combine the three and make whatever decision you deem worthy.

@OP

Both defnitions are for a weak willed man.

One likes to be bullied; the other likes to bully

Which is better is selfishness and greediness?

DukeNija: I think you are not really sticking to the topic. Your analogy is based more on Happiness and personal fulfilment.

I was addressing the person I quoted

And yep, marriage is not an achievement

limanmohammed6: No matter how condition you find yourself, don't leave prayers.

Trust me, I believe in the efficacy of prayers but will never leave what needs to be done undone.

God will not do our part