₦airaland Forum

I don't run around pastors. God talks to everyone willing to listen.

You all keep saying feminism is different from the very beginning. Agreed, is there anything stopping anyone from looking up the 'initial' version of feminism and standing up from that?

Do I need the international board of feminists to endorse or approve my version? I don't agree with all my pastor says and you expect me to agree with all some 'leading' feminists say? Do we have the experience or outlook to life? Do I even care about them? Lol!

Happy new year

Ewuro707: Oh I'm sowie, what was I thinking , I excluded the vital info from story of my life.


No they don't mix , talk to your pastor with a non- Nigerian interpreted bible to enlighten you further. Stick to one Bible tho.


Didn't you read 'a seasoned Feminist' in my narration before the quoted article? And what does that teach you, that today's feminism is complete opposite of what it was before during her time, Abi?


Yeah you're welcome, I see it's really working for you. Take care.

Fulaman198: Language, way of talking, way if dressing, bleaching of skin, the list goes on

For bleaching, I heard we are leading. We have always preferred the fair skin to black. Even before this bleaching nonsense, musicians have always sang about fair omoges

There is a difference between following western culture and been civilized.

The whites didnot dress the way they did now. The conservative ones are also complaining.

They used to wear long flowing gowns with layers of underwear, socks, gloves and bonnet. Now look at it today.

All cultures are evolving. Afteral, blacks brought about tattoos the whites have tushed up.

People are reinventing the wheel daily and coming up with new trends.

Years ago, everything you wear must be to match. Today, I can carry a green bag on a grey outfit and call it colour blocking

Are some blacks mindlessly copying the western media? Yes because it is seen as the height of civilization. Once, the world as copying Greeks, Romans and Eygptians.

If Nigeria becomes the next world power, our way of life becomes the zenith of civilization

ileobatojo: Happy new year Buka!

Fulaman198: Quit trying to pretend you don't know what he's talking about.

Why should I pretend?

What western culture is Africans imbibing?

Why did you not reject it when he called you?

If you donot understand thatpeople would believe in a thing differently then sorry

Feminism and true christianity don't mix because a man is said to be the head? what do you interprete the man being the head to mean?

Didn't the woman in article you quoted say she was a feminist with her mom in good homes till some radicals came along?

Thanks ma, it is working for me just fine

Ewuro707: @bolded , You need your glasses on.

Just cos I don't eat pork makes me a Moslem= My personal conviction. Just cos we believe in Equality/ treat all gender with Respect doesn't make us Feminists either.

Why don't you answer my question, do you believe in Patriarchy with your 'feminist' badge or still indecisive bout what 'Yoruba' (zero bride price) Christian Feminism ideal entail? Last time I checked Feminism and True Christianity clash like water and oil.

Good luck.

I nor get strenght for your back and forth

Don't assume anything I have not said in my posts. I like to say it loud and clear

It is common knowledge men beat women more in this parts. Letting a woman run her mouth is not a naija traditional thing. It is definitely new school.

Like baby mama would say, if a woman runs her mouth, reciporate with mouth running if you are so inclined.

st

coogar: i am sure you have never seen 2 men fighting ever. you would claim anything to score cheap points. men/women can be violent, men/women can be victims of violence. no gender does it more than the other. men would rather keep quiet than wail to others or call the cops thus such incidents are under-reported!

dinachi: This thread have served and still serves its purpose of exposing the evil effects of mainstream feminism on marriage... if you chose to ignore that that's your loss.

Thanks, we all know that

Just like we know the evil effects of terrorism in Islam and hypocrisy in Christianity

ijigaparadox: British and American culture are good examples

You still are not getting me

I want specifics like 'it is yoruba's culture to kneel for elders' kind of examples.

dinachi: The truth is that most feminists leaders by their speech always have one of two bad things to say about the family and marriage. Many of them are bitter women....Imagine a feminist group saying that all women need to identify as lesbians before they can be seen as true feminists! And that is why most married women hesitate to identify themselves as feminists because of the negative connotation of that word.

Was your moniker hijacked?

You know most of the feminazis you quoted have issues and you still opened this thread?

dinachi: Where did I say that i support men cheating on their wives? Where?

Lol!

You are joking right?

Yea a typical woman beats her kids more than her maid

coogar: of course, there's never been a case of 2 fighting men in the history of nigeria. abeg, men hurt men than they hurt women. the typical man will not even hit a woman without any reason. women tend to attack first either verbally, throwing objects or even biting/scratching. women would hold men by their trousers and scream "you must kill me today".

Psychedelia: The OP is mixing up Feminists and Female Gender Supremacists.

They're very different.

Liking your post will not be enough

God bless you

Dear brother dinachi, retrace my steps to where?

Considering the fact that you see nothing wrong in a man cheating on his wife, I think I will stay where I am.

When I marry and my home is blissful, come and arrest me

dinachi: @ Ewuro I can't conceal my admiration for your maturity and absolute mastery in this subject. I believe your husband is extremely lucky to have a woman like you, who is not afraid to say her mind.

@ Bukatyne it is not yet late to retrace your steps and begin to move in the right direction....I have laboriously reproduced evil satanic quotes from leading world renowned feminists against the institution of marriage. I DID NOT SEE YOU CONDEMN THOSE STATEMENTS! I don't want to believe that you are in support of them! My challenge still stands. Yet none of you have been able to meet it! Produce ONE Notable feminist with a good marriage or if that fails produce ONE quote from a Notable feminist in support of the marriage institution.

@ Ileobatojo or chillis or Chillisauce or Soul-glo whatever turned you into a misandrist, i hope one day after a visit to your shrink and proper medication you may be able to see the light, if not, happy trolling!

@ pureOHio you are another smart woman that portends joy to your husband. You are a big asset.

Why don't we start from you?

Your husband called you a feminist and you still knee for him, not so?

So are you a shoe shiner?

Ewuro707: You asked me a question and I responded. Go back and proofread your post history.



Speak for yourself.



Oh Really, Are you sure? I've heard it All

Below is a short article of a Seasoned Feminist that was kicked out from the Feminist camp because of what You just said there in bolded.

Read:



Gotta ask again Buka, are you a Feminist or just a shoe shiner?

PureOhio: I hope you know Yorubas isn't equal to Nigeria. Plus, let's assume those aren't benefits, like you said.




So, when the wives get violent, the husbands retaliate. Isn't that what feminists want? Equality?

I know this is coming late

How many wives are violent physically in Nigeria? They are more of verbal. Atypical man does not go about beating men who insult him, does he?

Happy new year to the family section crew: babymama, nashville, ypp, jenny aka yekini mistress, ileobatojo, efemena, cc, pocketeconomist, bluu, coogar, dayo, bellong, ewuro, damiso et al

This thread is really reminding me of a lot of things i know already. To know easy, to practice it at all times na the koko

Still learning how to take some people as they are

@CC: Congrats on your new ride even though I did not see it. Regards to Mr. CC. Thanks for the colour themes you put on coogar et babe's thread; I am using the royalblue and sunshine yellow

@Jenny: biko start compilin all your lessons in a book o! hardcopy preferrably Happy new year

@nashville: let the money complete o! I don't need to tell you what you are missing. ask mr. CC

@Others: o

Employers no longer reward hardwork, they reward results.

Whatever that means

chaircover: Reminds me of one year early on in my career I had an appraisal and my manager said I was a hard worker, but wasn't high profile enough
I thought Oh really!!! . . . . OK lets do it the other way then . . .so I did less work and spent more time socializing round the office and making sure that I was well known. I made sure got put on high profile projects. I found out what they wanted and went with the flow and and things got better.

[quote author=ijigaparadox][/quote]Foreign culture? I would really appreciate specific examples

Sorry,

I have such a short memory to engage you in this discussion

Most of us don't really read our Bibles anyways and the few that do, water it down with culture

Nowhere in the Bible was specific roles given to any gender in marriage

A man's headship has nothing to do with his providing; if he is the bread winner or tea winner, he is still the head

Ewuro707: Wa shere jare. Thanks


Bukky,
Traditional benefit is tantamount to everything the holy books ordained i.e Responsibilities of the head of the household -Man.

Core/ Real feminist find TB degrading likewise frown at big time. Rarely you see these group of extremist wallow in cultural doctrines. Their perception of traditional marriage is backwardness /archaic / sheep / slavery etc

These group of women don't wanna be identified by their spouse - Mrs( if they have any). They want to be on their own.

These group of women make jest and can't conceal how irritant they feel when we ( married Naija wives) nurture our hubby, they call us mumu and slaves.

They see an act of sex/ making love degrading. So yes Men are just sperm donors and they'd rather have a donor if they chose to have kids.

And that Bukky my friend is where you fall off the bracket too. So make a choice, are you truly a Christian ( without your Nigerian bible interpretation brouhaha) or a real Feminist or just wannabe?







1 Timothy 5:8 - But if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.


1 Peter 3:7 ESV / 118

Likewise, husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way, showing honor to the woman as the weaker vessel, since they are heirs with you of the grace of life, so that your prayers may not be hindered

And so on.


P.S
Bukky I'm NOT a feminist, I don't see myself as one because I Loooove the sheep mentality of Yoruba Culture ( kneeling for my hubby, cooking for him etc)
I just happen to share same attribute as the movement/ Act ( and I'm sure many married & successful career women posses this too) : having strong ambition, and raised to believe whatever a man can do , a woman can execute even polished and vibrantly . If that make me a feminist then hurray!

Is this a general observation? If this is the traditional benefits then i laugh in spanish

Yorubas return the bride price

Yoruba brides cater for the guests

You must be watching hollywood to think that most nigerian men usually do nothing when their wives get violent. It is actually new school.

PureOhio: Traditional benefits:
He pays the bride price.
He foots majority of the wedding bill
He pays majority of the bills (school fees, rent/mortgage, miscellaneous )
He gives his wife monthly allowance
When she gets violent, he can't do anything (she's only a woman, she's allowed to be emotional)
Etc

Most Nigerian feminists want these benefits (because it's the cultural and it's biblical). Like Ewuro said, eating your cake and having it.

Btw, if these are the benefits and things expected from a married man, in what area is equality needed ?

And it did not occur to you that some people want back to what it reaaly means and embraced it

It also did not occur to you that not all women are selfish

My point: don't lump all feminists together. Don't see one and automatically assume she is a man hater or marriage destroyer.

Let them manifest their fruits before judging them.

Afterall, by their fruits, you shall know them.

Dantedasz: Okay, I get it now.

ME:Good evening, feminist Bukatyne, before we start our discussion on feminism, please which branch of the feminist movement do you belong to?
BUKATYNE:I belong to theAfrican/British/American school of feminism.
ME:Well before we start what we have come to do, I've got another question, do you belong to the extremist hard core school of feminism or the mild school of feminism?
BUKATYNE:Emm I think I belong to the extreme school.
ME:Do you belong to those who believe in marriage or those group that are against having anything to do with men?


And the questions can go on without an end if we go by this idea of yours. As far as I am concerned feminism does not mean what it meant in the beginning because it has been hijacked by a group of selfish women who will not rest until they see the down fall of every male on the planet.

Don't worry, he will marry them when they cannot be with a start up guy

The men there sef try.

Any nonmember whose babe is a staunch member should be wary. It doesnot sound like a place where they can get the required spiritual nuturing and nourishing for the future

EzeJustme: When i asked the babe beside me who don dey already squeeze my hand whether she believe that, she said ofcourse,i can’t go out with a guy that cannot take care of my needs. Who is not ready to change my car every other year
With that i kuku gradually remove my hand, before the girl go collect my car key and i come take leg waka go house.
She asked me if anything was wrong i told her no, that i was just feeling dizzy and would need some fresh air outside.
To add to my stress, Chris Okotie now shared free birthday cakes for people born in different months of 2014 (yap 2014).
He only shared it among ladies; no single guy was allowed to pick a cake.
He also conducted quiz among us, he only allowed women to answer the quiz and each of them were given cakes and gifts.
Of the over 20 gifts Chris Okotie gave away today,no single man or guy was given any.
He said his gifts were ONLY for women.
At that point, i knew i have over stayed my welcome. I told the babe that i wanted to go and take some fresh air outside; from there i disappeared and drove off.
It’s obvious that Chris Okotie and his babes still have a lot in common.
If you need fine babes,go to Household..If you need superlative Music, Chris Okotie will give you several doses, but if you need serious preaching, i doubt if Pastor Chris Okotie will be my first Church,maybe because of the big big grammar and effizy. Just my opinion though.... na my opinion o.... I repeat, na my opinion o......
DonLucky_Osas

LOL!

Abeg OP, no kill me o!

If i was there, I would laughed all through!

The roll with the security guys is scary though. It gives the church a cultlike setting

EzeJustme: a pastor.He has not changed one bit from what i saw of him about ten years ago..His jerry curled hair was shinning.He wore a golden colour Jacket with black patches over a black trouser. You will mistake him for one of those Hollywood actors.
Immediately he picked the mic,he went into solo songs..Okotie does not have a choir or back up singers. He is the Choir,Choir master and chorister all put in one.His is the only Church i have visited that does not have a choir.
He was moving from one song to another, for over one hour he didn’t stop.
I was forced to ask the babe beside me,if it was a service or Song festival. She didnt even bother to answer me, all she was saying was give it to me,give it to me Pastor,i can feel it ,give it to me as she sang along..Haaa,give it to you.give you what i asked..
She took a long look at me and continued in her frenzy,i say give it to me my pastor.Oti o.
This is another level,since i didnt want to be left behind,as Okotie was singing i joined her in saying,Give it to us,give it to us pastor,give it to us oooooo.biko give us,give her,give me too lalalalalala.
The lady suddenly stopped and pinched my hand .Keep quiet,you are not singing like someone that is in the spirit she told me.I asked her what she meant,after all i just wanted pastor Kris to give it to us and you are asking me to keep quiet.
Please give it to you us,infact kill us Pastor i continued
By now she had kept quiet and was watching me.
The whole church was in a frenzy,estatic ,singing and dancing.all dance steps were on display,skelewu,konkon below,kukere,name it,even apala dance join.ewooooo
Some were jumping up and down like people possessed by spirit. Some were even running from one end of the auditorium to another.
The beautiful ones that occupied all the front rows,stood up and were dancing close to the alter,as if to say Man Of God,we are still available o.
But Kris Okotie must have been used to it because, he no even look their side. He was singing in languages that i never understood.
I even saw a popular actress among them
After over an hour of singing,Okotie now prayed for two nations,Nigeriaand Israel (why Isreal,i don’t know) but i heard those were the two countries he prays for weekly.
After the prayer which lasted for about five minutes, he entered gear two,he kpet on sining,singing,singing and sing.
Haba,which kain Church be this nah,no wonder all these people are trooping here,they came to see Okotie perform every week, definitely not his preaching.
After he must have satisfied himself, he now settle down to speak on the birth of Jesus Chris and the three wisemen that came to visit Joseph and Mary.
It’s was easier to understand Patrick Obhiagbon and Wole Soyinka than listening to kris..At a point i i asked the babe beside me what Kris just said,she said she didnt know,i then asked how,how come you were shouting Praise the Lord.
She told me that i just have to accept what he is saying with open minds without questioning.na him i tell am say ok,i hear.
The average age at the Church was 40 years.
Kris Okotie has die-hard converts who from all indications are ready to do anything for him. he is to them,a role model of a sort.
The babes are well polished. Not the type you see at most of these orthodox churches like Anglican and Roman Catholic.
Okotie went on to say, Love without Money is not complete.
According to him, shower a woman with money and see how she ll cherish you for life.To him,love is not enough.it must be backed with money and big time gifts. According to him,that is why he buys the latest expensive cards.

Maybe the OP will ubderstand you

His fight should be with core feminists/feminazis abi?

I claim to be equal to my husband; if i can be nice to random people, how much more the man I vowed to live and honor? if i have no problem cooking for my room mates and family, why not him? If i am considerate of others and listen to them,why not my babe?

Shebi equality will mean he treats me well and vuce versa? To avoid nonsense treatment will now entail me to open eye choose abi?

I tire for this OP o

Jide sorry Ewuro, which one be tradutional benefits/ shoe shiner again?

Ewuro707: For every cause/movt there's always an exception hence extremists. E.g Jihadist and Terrorist.

Core Feminists frown at every benefit as well as shît that came with Traditional marriage. So I believe marriage institution would be degrading to them. Because let's face it their main goal is to completely eradicate cultural doctrine ( 'herd mentality' )that favoured men to empower women folks.

You can call me a feminist but not a Core neither an extremist because I love my culture.




That^^ is exactly what Feminism simply means. ( thanks for that quote)

I make my money , you make yours, respect me and same will be reciprocated. I will not sleep with any senator to win that same contract because Alhaji dururu never slept with anybody.
If you bribe, I will bribe and win same contract too shikena.


I opened this feminism discussion with hubby last night, he laughed and replied; babe any woman who strive to achieve in life and not totally dependent on a man , hold herself with dignity and respected in the society, is a feminist.

Looking back and see how I presently train my girls, aspire big, don't limit your ability cos you have a vagina, no no no, that's just biology, old things have passed away, all things have become new. We don't require physical strength to achieve great Today, smartness and intellectually Efficiency are all you need.

It's a modern world.

Now this is OP 'a main beef and I agree with him:
Most Nigerian Feminists are just mere shameless shoe shiners ( as earlier stated) , you can't have it both ways , you expect all the benefits of traditional marriage yet want to flex equality cos your husband makes big = it's 'Affordable'. nah doesn't work that way. You don't belong in Feminist bracket either.


My opinion please.

@OP: what is western culture?

Nashville: We are good my sister. How you and boo? Happy New Year to both of you. Una go become billionaires in 2014, after you get married!

Again I pray for you too that you will never drink garri in Jesus name especially when you have children. Its not too tough when it is two of you, but you do not want your unborn children drinking garri. Trust me, you dont want it!

Amen!

Why is the billions after marriage na?

dayokanu: So if your wife is fucckingg your neighbours nko?

I believe the poster is a female

Abuse especially physical and infidelity

greatgod2012: We all know that love and continuos forgiveness are part of recipe for marriage,and that there is no way there will not be disagreement in ones marriage, but we need love and forgiveness to make d marriage to continue existing. However, there are some things that seems "too extreme" or "most unacceptables", its like crossing ones boundary totally and which may not be easily be forgotten/forgiven. A colleague said her own is when her spouse raise his hand against her, then d marriage is heading to collapse, another colleague said, its only on d basis of infidelity dt he can not forgive his wife. To me i still dont know yet, but i dont like a situation when there will be disagreement btw a couple, and one will be beating d other, i dont pray it happens to me,but if it happens, i'm yet to know what i'll do about it. Pls, share yours, what is d most unacceptable in ur marriage/relatioship?

pickabeau1: You are making two points which may or may not be interrelated

Asking a woman if her spouse is in support of an offering is optional

However it is evident that the pastor is a flippant character n a 'mouth runner'

It depends on the offering

If it was monetary, he might be pardoned but tokunbo TV?

Haba!

You too like money

I rather drink ga... with my bobo in my arms than chi.... with across the ocean loff

How is your family?

Compliments of the season

Nashville: Very good post. My brother, it is important that you aspire very high so that if you don't meet all of it, you would still have done very well.

I understand what you mean in number 3, but my prayer for you is that you will never drink garri and groundnut with your family. You know children are also involved and lack may not just involve your and your wife but also your children. You want to live in a decent environment and be able to send your children to good schools, so it is important you can provide.

Sometimes leaving your family for a while for the overall benefit of the family is not necessarily bad as long as it is for a definite period and everyone agrees with it. Also it should not be very early on in the marriage. If say after ten years, your work transfers you to another city or you get a much better job there, you can work around it. Money is very important o and I say again, may you and your family never lack in Jesus name!

apoti: Thanks PocketEconomist, glad you were inspired. Her name is Esther

Esther?

With all the Atinuke campaign?

She will be a star to her generation and just as Esther solved the problem of her nation, she will be a problem solver.

This is so sweet

I pray you marry the bone of your bone so that you will do all these with joy and ease

PocketEconomist: I just composed it right now, and i decided to share this with the world. It goes this way. I PROMISE TO 1)Always put you in particular, and our family in totality first before myself, (your interest is of foremost importance to me). 2) Be your rock, comforter when you mourn, protector in time of danger, companion in times of loneliness, bring warmth to you in the cold weather and pillar to make you upright (you are my sunshine and deserve this and much more). 3) To put the happiness of our family above Material things, no job or contract will take me away from you for so long, it's better for us to soak garri and groundnut from the same plate in love than to have a banquet without me present to eat with you and the kids. 4)Be the best father to our kids, be always present in those precious moments, to be involved in their upbringing, to train them as upright people in a morally bankrupt world. 5) Draw us closer to God as a family under my leadership 6)Never abuse my God given authority as the head of the family. I will NEVER be a tyrant oppressor or a thorn in the flesh. 7) love you as my own body. Since i would not beat up myself, exploit myself or subject myself to physical, mental or emotional abuse, i would NEVER do same to you. ( To love you despite your imperfections and faults. I am not perfect and thus do not expect perfection from you, just be the best wife, and mother to us. 9)Be with you in challenging times, when you need me the most, be it during the birth of our child, when you will need my support, or when sick and need my attention, time and love, or during old age, when you need my support the most. In short, our marriage will be FOR BETTER FOR WORSE in the real sense of it. And finally 10) To be your listening ear, the one you can pour your heart to, share problems with, and listen to your challenges as well. To summarise this, I PROMISE TO BE THE SOURCE OF YOUR HAPPINESS. So help me God.