₦airaland Forum

coogar: they were responsible because their wives knew their place. these days, the reverse is the case. women don't longer know their place & they are fighting supremacy with their husbands......of course, men would demand they pay bills too since they no longer stay at home like the women in the olden days.

From Below straight to Above!

No Besides

Hmm! Sweet

[quote author=Arial.bold]you have a right to believe what you want. Next time you get a job, get pregnant, and your boss doesn't fire you for being pregnant. Thank the feminists who fought for the rights for employees not to discriminate against mothers in the work place.
There used to be a time when only single, unmarried women could have jobs. and if you got pregnant you were fired. no such thing as maternity leave that allowed you to come back after childbirth.
is that also an entitlement? letting women take time off for maternity leave? letting women past age 30yr old be allowed to work instead of being a proper housewife. If you see female civil servants, there was once a time when those women had to fight to be equally recognized. things we take for granted today.

keep running your mouth while you benefit from everything feminists fought for us to achieve thinking you earned it yourself.[/quote]You know why I like NL?

I change from being a feminist to a humanist to a feminazi to non-feminist to inferiorist in a matter of seconds/threads!

So now I am a non-feminist/inferiorist she?

Carry go!

Adikam: jealousy

If 'showing of love' requires my husband tapping my ass like a ho he paid in front of the camera, I will pass

Let me challenge you: produce the photo of any serious couple who posed that way.

A peck on a cheeks or even a kiss is till ok

pro01: How many women have multiple husbands in Nigeria? Wives do not have 'polygamous' rights in this part of the world. You lot must recognise that and deal with that. There is nothing to debate about it.

If Coogar's 'analysis' that 50% of firstborns in a survey conducted in Nigeria do not belong to the husband is anything to be believed, then I think it is you who has your head in the sand sir

Kokobebi: The razz who will have the last laugh threat is sooo 1950s
Revenge,no revenge,in the end do whatever rocks ya boat.

I mean it's so funny

BoboYekini: You women think too highly of yourselves. Revenge na, let's see who has the last laugh.

Really?

jumzzy448: Seems you and my hubby have the same personality.
Thanks Nashville. Learnt a lot from your post.
I'm enjoying this thread more than the girls night out discussion. The girls own is full of ikworikokwo.

Nothing stops you from posting want you want to be on the girls night out thread

paris10: I never said men of old provide for their divorced wives... that was just invitational. I said they are more responsible.

Responsible in what way?

Correct guy!

Romeo4real: Whilst the poster of this thread specified it's only for ladies, i feel the need to make a slight comment.
I bet the 2 posters above me are not married. - And if they are, they are definitely not with children, and if they are, then the marriage has other serious issues apart from the infidelity.

What i am trying to say is that infidelity is/should NOT necessarily the end of any marriage. It simply is not a black & white issue - only unmarried people think otherwise. Before such a conclusion is reached, a whole lot of things should be taken into consideration - Was the marriage good before the infidelity? Is he a good husband AND father? Is it the first time? Are there children in the union? Are you innocent yourself?

As i said, i am not addressing the questions raised in the thread - as im not a woman, just making a slight comment.

@OP: revenge against who?

Revenge in this case will mean cheating on him back on our bed

Do I want my marriage? He has taken the choice off my hands.

I doubt I will divorce him the first time BUT that is the beginning of the end of the marriage

Pouring water in a basket is a futile exercise

And OP,please stop the undue pressure on women with your choice of topic. Every wife has the choice of staying with or leaving the cheat.

And staying because of my kids is out of it. I do not want them to think it is ok to cheat; afterall, mummy stayed

Those women's boo.bs though

lady gogo: please talk about sex jo! what is all these respecting and honouring your man y'all are talking about.

Maybe that is what matters most to them and diffferent styles to the wifey.

It is well

Get out of my head

I actually wanted to say same but I did not want to be accused of further derailment

I guess the guys are afraid of something or shy

The race is real o my sister

Chillisauce: The female version of thread talk about how they jump on their hubby. Everyone there na se x machine and hubby na six packs.

Male version talks about keeping the home in order. Fears about equality, feminism etc. The race is real.


Lorreta u, I feel your post die. What works for A might not work for B.

@Loretta U and NRI PRIEST, daalu

May God help us all in our homes.

Some women cannot respect a husband that lets them have a say/opinion in the home

@Kulyie,

This your new style of communicating this year o le gidigan

You mean men of old catered for their divorced wives?

Do you know what divorce means?

Since a man has the responsibility of catering for his ex-wife, does a divorced woman have responsibilities towards her ec-husband?

paris10: Just because women are now achievers and bread winners doesn't make the man less a man. A man, well, a real man should handle his business. And just because your wife works does not exclude you from providing for the family. Men are now becoming lazy and expecting their working wives to provide for the house. Same logic applies to marriage and divorce. What happens to the men of old who would do anything to protect their women?

The mentality that women should take care of themselves and work to provide for their wants is plausible.... that leaves us with the men.. what would these bunch be doing then?

Why can't these people learn to keep their private affairs private?

I assume it is about the age thing right?

Age is no factor for respect.

Anybody who will rrespect you, will

Thanks for the fanta, my favorite

Nosyke: Correct babe, Oya smile Jesus loves you.

Oya, from the female perspective answer my question ^^

@Tv, it's ok, I guess, bukatyne has noted the points you raised.

Ok, bar man, abeg serve everybody chilled fanta

Nosyke: Take a chill pill Ma'm, life is to short to be too uptight. It was supposed to b b joke.

I am chill my brother

Where I quoted you is not the first post I made on this thread

Tell your brother TV to chill and not see things all the time

Royal Roy: Topic of the thread is what again please?

Lol.

A beg no change topic for us here please.

I guess you can read post history right?

pickabeau1: Hold up hold up..

@buka
Do you believe taking alcohol in any quantity makes one less of a man or did i miss a beat

The issue is that everything is seen as man woman here especially when a 'feminist' aka frustrated old spinster is involved!

A guy was happy with Nashville's posts and offered him about 10 bottles of alcohol, 2 plates of peppersoup etc. and I asked him how he considered that to be enjoyment.

Oga Tv on my case as usual said I should 'let men be men'

I am against alcohol as a Christian; what is my own with men or women in this case?

If alcohol makes someone manly, make them carry go.

TV01: The rabid feminie notion of equality is egregious to the essence and beauty of true complementarity. In family and church, men must absolutely lead. In wider society I have no problem with women being involved or taking the reigns in most regards.



That's could be due to a number of things. She could be just tolerating him due to other pros. Most likely it's her own weak character/lack of self-esteem cum warped application of the nurturing (help-meet) role. It's why a lot get dumped when the man is back on his own two feet. There's a difference between a nurse and a mate, although a mate is both (one for the gyals - feeling generous today ).



Let your man lead and learn to respect and appreciate that leadership. I pray for 5 men and 2 women on this board regards marriage. You are one of the two. And you will all "fine dine". Can I get an amen?



Learn to let "men be men". Don't nag. Exert a long-term but further reaching influence on them. You will reap the rewards. Encourage, exhort, counsel. They'll respond better and be ready to "war" for you.

TV

_{Still water for me please. No ice!}

Lol@ praying for me regarding marriage

So asking a guy if excess alcohol or even alcohol at all is enjoyment means I am making him to be less than a 'man'?

This is a new year

It is well

[quote author=Sisi_Kill]@ Nashville
Great Posts!!!! https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/41.gif https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/41.gif https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/41.gif https://l.yimg.com/us.yimg.com/i/mesg/emoticons7/41.gif


You and Debosky ought to get together and write a "How to be a THINKING (not thoughtful oh even though y'all are ) Man! Manual


Just gotta point out one teeny tiny itty bitty thing. . .being a nasty selfish, self-centered unyielding woman has nothing to do with equality. Your friend's wife has a personality problem and I am sure she will act the same way no matter what kinda relationship she is in.[/quote]All demonic women are so because they believe in equality

OP,

Have you considered that most of these women chose their men with their eyes opened?

TV01: And I am also able to "unkill" it . I have that power!

I can't promise you no preaching, but I can promise you good stuff!

1.
Gentlemen. Do not stay with a girl who does not respect you, be that due to her attitude or your situation. One must change before you commit to her, or you are in for a bumpy ride.

2.
Don't ever fall for that equality nonsense. In terms of value? In terms of worth? Place her on a pedestal if you so choose. In terms of "expectation"? No, no, no.

Listen to me; "Equaity breeds contempt". One a woman feels she is equal to you, she'll look for an edge. Once she has an edge over you she won't respect you. Once she doesn't respect you, she can't truly love you. Rocky road ahead.

3.
Bukatyne - bless her - once said on this forum "Men and women should worship and submit to each other". Brodas pliss, I take all that is holy beg una; don't fall for this.

A women can find herself by being wholly consumed by her man and family. If a man tries to find himself in a woman, it produces a conflict. She has to be the needy one and he can satisfy that. If he becomes needy, she won't be able to deal with it long-term (unless she is simply out to control him). Either way, she'll start to resent it and ultimately despise him. Rocky road ahead.

If anyone would like to hear the Godly way to circumvent all of this just ask!


Teefee (wind dey blow)

I sincerely hope you name one of your kids Bukky or one of the variants

This one you keep in mind my opinions so, na wa

Nosyke: Em, Em, Oga Nash very insightful comments you have made, I have picked quite some salient points, even though I am not married yet
Especially the 25-45 ish. I have always been of the opinion that one shouldn't get till 60 in order to retire.

Barman on my account, abeg give Oga Nash, 6 bottles of star, 2 bottles of guider, 2 plates of roundabout, 2 plates of isiewu, 1 plate of catfish. As for me, abeg gimme malt.

I don tanda for here today * sipping my malt and listening, brings out pen and paper*

Not to dampen the fun but how does the bolded look like fun to you?

Thanks OP.

Just one more fact is needed: How to eradicate them from the earth

RedBenson: You shld be ashamed of urself. Smh for women of nowadays. Gone were d days where women stayed for 6months, 1yr and even 2yrs without sex and they were still feeling cool, not indulging on sex machine stuff, now even two weeks, you cant even stay. Am pretty sure u are one of those making routine application of sex machine at slightest space. Smh! Like i said, when d machine fails to deliver as expected, then visitation of small boys in d hood untop d punny will be inevitable. Well done!!!

tai2: Any man who thinks that showing more love, trying to reason or arguing with a cantankerous woman or a woman who lacks respect is the way forward, is out of his mind.

Women, especially Nigerian women, do not know the meaning of equality in a relationship. To them equality is a weakness and once they see you as weak it turns to a lack of respect.

If OP was being a man, his wife would not try this nonsense. First he got railroaded into marrying her because she was pregnant. Then now she wants to control the house, I'd ask him to DNA check those kids to make sure they're his. A woman who does not respect you and shows contempt to your parents can sleep with everyone from your guard to your next door neighbor.

That's the problem with all these fellowship and bible-business relationships. It starts off on an assumption that the world is good and certain "moral" standards must be followed. All woman thirst after bad boys, yet when some want to marry they look for a mugu to get married to.

The OP has probably refrained from dealing with his wife in the appropriate manner based on "biblical reasoning", trying to rationalize or be a loving husband. All moves which in my opinion are stupid and pointless. She's only pulling off all this rubbish because you're being a weakling and she has no respect.

Leave all these "new worlders" talking about slapping a woman being barbaric. Even in the so-called developed world, it was a tool for putting women in line until political correctness came into the world 30-40 years ago. Ever watched a Sean Connery Bond movie, he slapped plenty an erring broad.

Don't get me wrong, I believe if a woman errs to the point of total disrespect, a slap is only merited once in the lifetime of a relationship. Any woman who does not get the point after that should be divorced or disengaged from, don't let anyone turn you to a murderer or sadist.

Sometimes there are other ways of getting your point across. Arguing with her is a sign of weakness. If she is unreasonable so is reasoning with her. You can either choose to ignore or let her know that continuing with that attitude will earn her a divorce. If you choose you can start by locking the devil out of your house.

You're in an unfortunate position, but you need to correct it before you end up with further years of misery. This is Nigeria, where women want equality in order to disrespect a man, but won't remember equality when it comes to comes to contributing to the upkeep of a home or splitting a restaurant bill.

There are enough good and well-trained Nigerian women out there especially with scarcity of husbands, who deserve a meaningful relationship where problems are settled maturedly and everyone contributes their quota to making things work. Unfortunately, I don't know where you people meet these devils you end up marrying.

If you had read this thread before you met her, you wouldn't be suffering this nonsense now:

https://www.nairaland.com/396243/how-maintain-control-woman

Funny enough, I agree with the bolded

I don't it is a Nigerian women thing only, I guess it is Nigerian generally. Try been nice to 20 random people at first meeting and watch their reaction

pickabeau1: nice one..you have my respect with this...... maybe this your verson of feminism can really work after all....

I dont get the warped universe where the OP is from... u cheat on ur husband and yet she is paid off....?!

Sorry but I don't believe you; waters have passed under the bridge

A lot of women are not feminists; opportunities more like it.

It is common in our society, we try to take advantage of people who respect us or are meek

I still do not grasp the reasoning that a woman should be rude because she sees herself as a man's equal

Infact, sometimes when I do something wrong to my bobo, God would ask me if I would like it if he did such to me

Anyways, whatever rocks each person's boat

pickabeau1: hahaha... nice one bro..

feellng you on the feminazi BS manta.... nice line about respect earned at courtship

Theres this thing my boss used to say

Do The Right Thing (initiative); Do The Thing Right (correct process)

Customising here.. Marrying The Right Person the right way reduces most of the unnecessary tensions in the home

On the TV, as na i tv i come get na... I just go to my Lappie to catch up on Movies..na dem go still harass you say u dey ignore them..

Meanwhile do you see the crap on TV these days... na only footie i dey watch now

LOL..

I agree with you 100%

Defender of the brethren!

You never change

Nashville: And guys, do not let any feminazi, feminist ever tell you that marriage is 50-50. There is no 50-50 in marriage. You are the head of your family and that is the summary. Do not be deceived, there can never be two masters in one ship. You are the master and the earlier you understand that the better!

I have a friend that almost fears his wife. He is the breadwinner as he makes about three times his wife. His wife is about four years younger than him but she makes all the decisions in the house. I mean all. We were once having a drink together with some other chaps and we talked about him changing his car as we know he could afford a better car. The guy agreed and said he also wanted to buy a better car but his wife does not want him to change his car. He had earlier told us the same about the school the children go to. It was soooo far from where they lived and he had to drive several miles to get there. When he asked him why all the long journey, he said that was what his wife wanted.

We had to remind him who was the man in the house and who was the sisi. Guys you are the head of your homes and you need to know that. You need to be responsible and accountable for your family. Your wife MUST respect you at all times and please do not ever let any woman tell you that you have to earn that respect. You already EARNED her respect during courtship and that was why she married you in the first place so you do not have to earn it again. Guys, you have to set the atmostphere in your home. Try make your home a fun place to be in, smile often and be approachable but you need to remember you are the head.

I hate it when I read that guys struggle with their wives for remote control. What kind of men are we producing these days? Struggling with your wife for remote control? First of all try buy more than one TV and even if you have one TV. Give your wife the remote, you should be thinking of bigger things than remote control. But you should have a few programs that when you want to watch, nobody questions you. Women love to be heard so listen you wife, let her express herself, let her air her views, let her win some arguements but you must recognise that you have the final say. And it doesnt matter if your wife earns more. Leadership is not always about earning power, but about knowledge, about character, about self esteem and also about abilities.

Some women like to test their limits. If they insult you and you dont act, they will knock you next time. And if you dont act, the next thinig will be a slap. Make sure any form of insurbodination is crushed! No physical abuse o, but what you would not take from you wife, do not even allow during courtship. Your wife should not fear you but she must respect you. While I always preach that you should love your wives and be the best husband, you should remember that most women look up to their men and if you wife starts looking down on you or feels your opinion does not matter, you don enter one chance. In the days of my grandfather, nobody dare sit on his chair, even when the man died, people were still afraid to sit on the chair. That waas how fearful we were of him. Now that is extreme buit guys, stop being sisies!