₦airaland Forum

The less busy person should do it. Marriage is a partnership and they should pool their strengths together. It would make no sense if one person is overworked and another is underutilized. I have had cases where wives come back from work late to cook for their husbands who are at home. I imagine a man waiting hungry till the wife comes. I also know a wife who would wait for the husband who went to farm to come back and do house work. Her reason is that she is a helper, the husband is to do the main work. Whatever it means...

I always wonder if there is a separate company for men and women when I hear the mantra that men come back home tired from work etc. I wonder what the men in my workplace would expect the women to say if they use tiredness as an excuse to be lazy at home.

For those who say that house chores is the duty of the wife while the hubby is to provide, I hope they are referring a housewife who doesn't contribute at all financially. To those who feel it's beneath them, I can't fathom why a man would feel cleaning his house, washing his clothes, cooking etc. is beneath them.

Anyways, different strokes for different folks. This is what everyone should watch out for in courtship and not jumping from Mr. Biggs to Silverbird

What kind of a foolish mentality is this?

What is the difference between married and single? I am sure God does not have different standards.

jidegirl12: Marriage is now something else all in the name of civilization! ( ko buru) I don't even know what to say anymore to avoid clashing with @Debrief especially again before she accuse me again for calling her hubby names ( not that I care anyways , I say things how my spirit works)

Cooking SHOULD be a woman's pride, there's nothing degrading about it, A woman MUST know how to cook period! ....

You see, these threads on Family section are like a tutorial for some fiancées and newlyweds out there so please let's be a good example.

@Bukatyne has been struggling ( seem to me ) to accept fact that a man is her Head and there's absolutely nothing she can do about it.
All her thread reeks worrisome and denial.

Shît happens we get it, no marriage is rosy , spice it up like @Ivy explained earlier. I really wish she's my real sister cos I'm guessing you're Yoruba.( you know if you throw me any insult I'd throw it back to you in thousand folds )


@greatgod no vex abeg, we need you here , Debrief is possibly an attorney so she's very blunt and sometimes come across condemning IMO ( I'm sure she'd reply your post better)

***sighs*** ( I'm going to bed jare....I wonder what I'll be doing when my hubby is cooking bean soup ,assorted soup, draw soup and amala that we ate tonight after ploughing heap of snow driving over 50lbs snowblower, orisirisi )

I am just seeing this and I wonder why you would mention my handle on a thread I have not commented on. I also wonder why you think everyone who has a differing view is struggling. I don't think I appropriate e-gossip. If you have issues with my post, quote me when I can thrash them out.

@OP:

There is something I call retraining and that's what you have just displayed. I admire the fact that you saw something good and decided to emulate instead og saying out culture this, our culture that. I know some fathers like that but they are rare.

In pursuing your dream, please ensure you marry the right wife who together you can create a loving atmosphere as you will be surprised the views some women have. God forbid you marry one that thinks that it's only molesters that play with their kids.

People might laugh at you but you have to define what you want in life and stick to it in spite of it's popularity or otherwise.

I pray God helps you in your dream.

It's well

debrief08: Sadly a lot of Nigerian Men were trained with the believe that being a Dad is about just bringing money and being unemotionally available. However, so many are now bonding and spending time with their kids some even more than the mothers.
Some still selfishly believe that its the mothers job to do everything and theirs is just to show off well dressed well behaved kids as some kind of prize.

For a lot of Nigerian Family this is the weekly schedule:

1. Monday Morning: Woman wakes up at 5am or 4.30am, prays alone,cleans up, makes breakfast and packed lunch for husband, kids and if there is time for herself.
Wakes the kids up, bathes and dresses them, feeds them, prepares Ogas breakfast goes to hurriedly shower, hardly has time to look her best rushes out and if its one car, waits for oga to wake up and drop them or she even takes a bus to drop the kids off at scholl before struggling to get to work.
Depending on where she works, closes, gets home, checks up kids homework, Baths then feeds them, prepares dinner, cleans their mess then she manages to struggle into bed at 10pm and just shuts down, however the days when Oga is gracious enough to be home early she must forget her drained tired back and put on a 5 star performance in bed, however if he is a late night keeper she will have to wake up when he gets home and make sure his dinner is hot.

Husband: sleeps and snores till 7am, sometimes wakes up early but watches news, facebooks, continues the gist he was doing with BB "friends", manages to bath, Shouts at wifey to come and get him a clean shirt, dresses up, goes to the dinning table, complains about "cold" food, eats, bealches and drives to work, where depending on how busy the day is, spends his time arguing on the weekends premier league matches, facebooking and tweeting.
If he manages to pick the school off during lunch, ah it goes on his cv as "helping out.
After work, he can hang out with the boys or go and see that girlfriend in whose place he won't hear the noise of his own kids and an over worked wife.
Gets home with alcohol breadth or female perfume, Wakes madam up and gets pampered before he snores loudly all night.

Weekends: Saturday, wife is up early, general cleaning scrubbing, washing, taking care of the kids.
Husband: wakes up 9, wears his canvas to go and play football because he is getting to fat, if he did some more things around the house he wouldn't be so fat.
Plays ball, comes showers, watches TV, heads out at night, while he is watching tv screams at busy wife, come and carry these kids from here they are so loud. She carries them and looks for an activity to engage them in before she resumes sweating it out, she rounds up goes to the market, screams and haggles, gets home and starts preparing weekly soup.
Husband gets home late from hanging out, tells her she doesn't even take care of herself because she was too busy to make her hair and nails to be like that burdenless babe he is now seeing.
Sundays: go to church propably an elder, plays happy family man, comes back sleeps and watches football, While madam, cooks, cleans and arranges items for the week.

There you have it. The happy Home.

Lol!

You are one of the posters in this section I really admire.

My regards to your family this break.

A happy home indeed!

deols: You are so incoherent it would be soo dumb to continue to argue with you.

LOl! take it slow...

Happy Eid celebrations in advance

kzokul: I never said they should be obama or any other person I simply said they can be the obamas of this world. They can also be th bill gates, buffet, jayz etc in their own fields meaning reaching the peak of their careers.

So they should bear their father's name while they have it in their consciousness that you are their mum just because you have refused to bear your husband's name and be one family. So in reality your not their mother and in their conscious state your their mother just because you have refused to shield your pride and answer your husband's name.
Look, there is a limit to the fight for struggle. In war you learn when to retreat and not cross your boundaries so that you don't be crushed and annihilated totally. This is what africans don't get. How to retreat, that is why they are always loosers. The west started this feminism thing but they know their limit, but my beautifull african women are taking this too far.
We all know how a feminist beyonce is, she even sang a song 'who run the world? Girls' , but her baby girl's name is ivy-blue carter. Her name too. So they know their limits. Anyway my african women have left the war for equality and are now fighting for superiority and like I earlier said this will be their greatest undoing. In this world and in the next to come women can never win war against men. It is nature but the men are ready for equality and not this superiorirty thingy.

I feel Oprah is more feminist than Bey.

Anyways, her hubby adopted her surname too so he's officially Sean Kwonles-Carter

What do you mean by limits? Who imposed those limits?

Policewoman: Beverly is the one throwing herself at Angelo. Shameless thing

willibounce: Face ur front..... I'm on d right threadr

Bros,

Don't quote me to spew rubbish

ekwah: Foreign wears need not be explained; the thread is about suits, shirts and ties amongst other things. Whether it is ok to sew suits with ankara or not is not important, and there's no right or wrong answer to that. What I don't get is why the Lagos state government seeks to make the use of suits,shirts and ties mandatory. And why we have Nigerians on Nairaland lauding the policy based on the most silly reasons one can ever think of.

They need to be dear. Everyone is saying that our dresses can be modified... to what exactly?

What is your problem with suits? that is a foreign cloth right?

Will you still feel this way if Ankara was used to sew the suit?

I don't care about the policy; what irks me is this victim's mentality we have.

jpiliya: I answered I said she (my sister, wife or daughter) should be blamed if and only if she is the tempter

I do not want to go back and forth but

What will you do to your daughter if she tells you that she slept with Alhaja because he tempted her with money?

What will you do to your son if he tells you he joined a cult because cultists tempted him?

What will you do to your wife if she tells you she slept with your friend because he tempted her?

jpiliya: well you need know here she is the woman and has the finally say if or not to yelled or resist such temptation but in a situation where she the woman (my wife, sister or daughter ) is the tempter then she is to be blamed 100% in conclusion the Women that tempt married men are at fault 100% not the other way round

Mr. you did not answer my question

Reread and answer

jidegirl12: You should listen to yourself too... it goes both ways ha ha!

Typical societal high expectations that makes Men scared of being wimpy hence suicide attempt after failure .... they're human too just like the 'weaker sex'.

Coming from you is disappointing sef.

I hold everybody responsible for their actions and the weaker sex stuff refers to the physical bodies and nothing more.

In fact, the society expects more and much more from women.

I am 100% sure that if a poster opens a thread that she was lured, tempted sore by a man and she fell, she will be so condemned till tomorrow.

If a man cannot keep to his vows, he should not bother getting married. Like I say, marriage is not compulsory


My post below refers... esp the bolded. I would like an answer

bukatyne: I guess you do not expect your wife to say no when she is tempted right?

Or your kid to resist cultists when they tempt him right?

Or for your daughter to resist prostitutes when they tempt her to join right?

Or for your daughter to resist sugar daddies when they tempt her with much money for sex right?

jpiliya: for christ sake the man is human do you tempt him and expect him to say no? why initiate the tempting when you don't desire to cheat with him

I guess you do not expect your wife to say no when she is tempted right?

Or your kid to resist cultists when they tempt him right?

Or for your daughter to resist prostitutes when they tempt her to join right?

Or for your daughter to resist sugar daddies when they tempt her with much money for sex right?

coogar: what has temptation gotta do with leadership? was bill clinton a messenger when he had öral sëx in the oval office?



forget who made vows with whom - these things do happen in one-off events.

I am talking fro a Biblical perspective...

If the vows are to be forgotten when we like, then it has lost its place

willibounce: Being able to provide for the needs of his family and always being there for his wife and children. He'll also takes care of the children and instill discipline.

All u crazy yung gals just wonna be irresponsible. U all wona ferk as many deeek as u can before u die.

I am sure you are on the wrong thread

jpiliya: are you saying any which way the man is at fault whether he intentionally initiate or consent to it?

Are you listening to your self?

Are you telling me that a man that is supposed to lead his home cannot resist temptation? Cannot say no? What kind of men do we have these days?

Did the woman make a vow to your wife?

Abeg, don't get me started

jpiliya: are you sure its not the women that tempts the men into it? have you ever wandered why the women wear s3xy tempting cloths?

And the men are stup.id and senseless to differentiate between right and wrong.

I guess you will pat your 18+ child on the back if he/she told you he/she became a armed robber or cultist because of temptation.

I wonder the kind of men on the street these days.

Nonso23: If my post seems too extreme to anyone; accept my apologies.
Beverly 'osu' outcast or who ever she is has just embarassed the ladyfolk in nigeria. Forget that thrash bba is saying- she does and she is representing nigeria to the fullest sense of the word (very unfortunately) . Those of you saying "bba" is for matured minds pls take your gf/bf and have séx in the middle of your street and find out if you won't be either ALUU-RIZED or beaten thoroughly. For God's sake we are africans, nigerians, we have a strict moral code. That's what makes us Nigerian. Sèx in public is viewed as perverse in all cultures in this country and not even a crazy show(bba) should excuse that fact. Having a Group Intimacy in one's room is more respectable than that thrash she displayed with that shameless, accursed, pathetic south-african angelo much less without a condom! God help our girls later they call guys "chop and go" look at the moral standard their fellow lady is exhibiting. How can we stay when we are not sure whether you will not be another Beverly when we are not around? . As for me Beverly must be under the control of a thousand demons!
angelo-2000 regular demons
his girlfriend/LovePeddler friend(candice)-1 million enhanced demons! Sefini!

What really are Nigerian Values?

ekwah: This is why people like you should just pocket your comments. Mr man do you know how much Nigerian attires have evolved? Do you know how far our fashion industry will go when we begin to patronize things that are ours? Pay a little attention to do the cool stuffs happening in the Fashion industry and see why I am vehemently against making the use of foreign wears mandatory. What the hell is wrong with you guys self? Nawa o.

Can you explain what is 'foreign Wears'

The cool stuffs happening in the fashion industry, are they not inspired by foreign concepts? Is it not foreign styles made with Ankara or is it the material that makes it African?

Let me guess, it is ok to sew a suit or dinner gown with Ankara right?

biolabee: yes o.. as you say according to the masculine bible

lol

Nigerian Bible and not Masculine Bible

moodswing: This Your argument ehn. SENSELESS......

Don't equate culture (A way of life) with science, technology, innovation and development my friend.

So sensible one, what does way of life mean?

What did science, technology, innovation and development do?

[quote author=mr.drizzy]non offence,bt maybe ur nt exactly seeing well or something,yes angelo wanted it too bt ur precious BEVERLY was all over him,more like 80-20..did u even see deir make-out scene angelo was jst busy lying like he wasnt doing anything! Beverly was doing all d work,dat alone,verywell seem like shes throwing herself @ him,anyway na dem knw sha,[/quote]In a bid to portray a man as 'innocent', we end up portraying him as thoughtless and spineless...

If Angelo did not want Bev, could he not have pushed her away? If a woman lies down and the hubby is doing all the work, does it mean that the wifey doesn't want it?

What you are saying in effect is that 'Angelo has no will of his own and cannot make up his mind on what he wants'

That's cool

okpara ugo: Money and more money. Being able to provide for your family. Being able to keep a woman under you. A man who marries and divorces a woman isnt intelligent...

Thats the true test of a man's intelligence...

Saint Chukz: The true test of a Man's Intelligence would his ability to identify that intelligent woman, snap her off her feet and make her bear his seeds as well as nurturing and caring for them.

Now, I saw the light

[quote author=Ms_Oluchi]Angelo's girlfriend must be r e t a r d!!! so her boyfriend is not to blame at all?? she's talking like Beverly forced herself on him. They both wanted each other. Some women are just so stupid! why would you want to marry a man who cheats on you, worse of all, publicly. SHAME!!![/quote]My dear,

You are stale!

When some posters can say a man who cheated on his wife is a victim of wayward girls

Everyone is talking like Bev masturbated or something.

That girlfriend is a classic example of the reason why some guys think girls are very senseless.

joeydozzy: This one is sicker than Angelo

He sure knows how to pick em

Very true.

Sicko Angelo and crew

tawa89: Raising a child to become a responsible Adult contributing positively to his/her society is the true test of a Woman's Intelligence.

Funny and what is the true test od a man's intelligence?

Fazhy: so it is now clever not to have family. Hmmm,

Is that all you got from the thread?

MAYOWAAK: For those friends of James Ibori who remembered to congratulate him on his birthday on sunday, you have my respect. It shows you are genuine friends. That irrespective of his current travails, you can still identify with him, shows you are real friends. I like people like these, who are no fair weather friends. Many became super rich through through him doing genuine business with his government but never remembered him today. That is why l respected Wada Nas. He was one Abacha associate who never left Abacha even when things got awry. But how many of those fawning opportunists who placed series of advert pages when Stella Obasanjo died, still remember his memoriam? I prefer friends who stand by you, even if they don't agree with your misdemeanor but who out of commitment to friendship, stand by you during travails. God, give us true friends and help us to identify them and give us the grace not to take such friends for granted.

I disagree with you.

While I applaud the friends and family for remembering his b.day and marking it, it is a show of shame to celebrate it this way.

If I were his wife, I would have said the whole family and friends fly to meet him in UK and celebrate with all the inmates. It would show him that his people still care about him.

They even when to church to do what? Thank God he is in prison? Pray for his release?

It's well

I sincerely believe it is a 'victim's mentality' to always want to 'prove' who you are. If Hilary Clinton wears Iro and Buba from now till next year, it does not make her African neither will a banker always be mistaken for a white because he/she decks suits even in bed

Culture as we were taught is a way of life encompassing dressing, language etc. so why are we so fixated on the dress part despite the fact that we have all of Friday - Sunday to wear it?

A lot of people who wear natives to represent 'Africa' always run abroad at slightest headache, do not use local(Made in Nigeria) stuffs, do not watch local channels, probably send their kids/school abroad etc. Some people wear dresses even to weddings. I wonder how many of us will decide to plait corn rows or didi without attachment. How many people still trek around? How many people are farmers or blacksmiths? How many people wear natives to a party? Or is sewing mini dresses with Ankara and show me your back them them now our culture? Is it the style we are fighting or the material? How many still grind with stone? Most posters esp those in diaspora have condemned our local food as fattening and yet we all parrot 'culture'

I guess we all choose the part of our culture to promote, Lol!

All these stories are really crazy and worrisome

I guess it's a chain reaction...
Husband thinks chores are beneath him, wife in a bid to relieve herself overweight the maid, senior maid terrorizes the junior ones...

The violence in our society is too much. This should really make us sit up and re-evaluate our so called african values...

As for the women, if they are tired of their marriages, they should quit and stop ruining the lives of kids. I really wonder how a right thinking person can take a knife and cut someone's toes for any reason.

@OP: the woman should be imprisoned; afteral, it's attempted murder

Gaggi: People dnt change, when would u guys learn? Its d reason people marry a mismatch hoping they would change after marriage.
I knw d flaws of my wife, I studied it and decided I could live with it. I'm sure u couldn't live with such flaws but I knw what I can cope with.
Study d way ur partner behaves around others not around u. A persons behaviour will always be at its best when their luv interest is around. If it means hiring an investigator pls do so. Marriage is a lifetime thing.
I will only sympathize with a divorcee or even divorce my partner if INFIDELITY comes in.
My husband drinks too much, he is dirty, he snores, he is violent, he comes home at night, he has no respect bla bla bla. An adult doesn't acquire these traits in one day. Seek and ye shall find.
In d case of infidelity, follow d 11th commandment...lol. If u are not disciplined enough to control ur libido then dnt get caught. Even d good book knws that this is unpardonable.
I'm tempted to say men have a leverage here because d society permits polygamy and a man must be unfaithful in d process of courting d next wife...lol.

Funny but I agree with you to a large extent.

Only few people ever really really change!

If he/she is loving you up, see how he/she treat others, their values, how they react when angry, the things that appeal to them etc etc. it's well