₦airaland Forum

ambivert27:
I'm from 2 generations.
The Greatest generation and came back as a Millennial.

How was the world ma when you came the first time

Were you also a Nigerian?

N2B2:
Mc Oluomo is not an elected public official, neither is he a law enforcement agent, yet he extorts Lagosians uncontested and commands great power & influence in Lagos — thanks to ruling party's chronic corruption.



Mods, another tribalist.

See intro:

Richest and most illustrious agbero thug

Kobojunkie:
1. For one, you have a very wrong impression of books there. If I can go from novice to professional mechanic or tailor or Gardner just from reading books, what makes you think I can't learn how to be a good father too? All I need are good books and a clear idea of the kind of father I at least don't want to be.

2. Did you know something else? Those who raise the worst arseholes out there are those married couples who are convinced that because their marriages are intact, their children are the best. Yeah, the majority of the arseholes out there in the world are not those raised in single-family homes or those orphaned from a young age. Instead, they are those who have their father and mother standing together behind them in all the glory of their arsehollery.

Please, parents, stop churning out arseholes abeg!

1. I read & write ☺️ so I know the power of books . Yet, there is a reason that practice and not reading makes perfect. Head knowledge is also different from practical hands on experience. I believe I asked for the books your friend read so you can drop it here. I don't know how else to agree with you that intentional reading of books might make a man learn to be a great father.

2. I hope you know that intact marriages and training of children properly can be mutually exclusive. However, I find it strange that you believe that healthy marriages are more likely to breed 'arsehole' than unhealthy ones and single motherhood. Strange indeed!

lavylilly:
Really? how many dads in Nigeria work only Mon-Friday aside from Govt workers?

Won ti gbe baby yi ni handicap sha. 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🙈🙈🙈🙈🙈

I am trying to understand the need of the lawsuit against the Government.

Did they prevent her from practicing Hinduism prior to now?

Why call attention to yourself when you have been freely doing your Hindi religion; got married to an Hindi and have three kids.

Yanga dey sleep, trouble go wake am.

Kobojunkie:
2. As a matter of fact, there are many folks out there who learned how to be good fathers from reading books and watching sitcoms about fathers who spent time with their kids and whatnot. I have a friend who was abandoned by his father as a youth that swears to exactly that, and he is a very decent father at that, unlike his own birth father who abandoned him and his mother to die. This dude curses at his own father to this very day, but he is always there for his own kids no matter what.

Don't knock it simply because you don't understand it.

It is going to take a very deliberate effort of unlearning, learning & relearning to achieve that.

Books are theory and not the intended way to teach such topics. They are just to complement what you have learnt at home.

Well, the OP can in addition to whatever she is doing start getting her son books. You can ask your friend for the titles so you can drop them here.

Anything to make the trait of poor/absentee fatherhood end at her generation.

@bold: Kobo Kobo 🤣

PDJT:
-You think we are all kids here. .

-Mr. OP this is your chance to restore order in your home and life. Go and marry another younger wife (18 - 25 years) for your sanity and old age. DM me if you need any assistance. A woman of over 33 is already becoming a Mother Hen. Let her enter street, men of the street can't wait to welcome her.
-Look after yourself man, and be very selfish about it.

He should restore order by marrying another wife?

The same order Yul Edochie restored to his home abi?

I have given the OP my two Kobos and moved on from the thread.

Kobojunkie:
1. Not every father is a good father. A father who abandons his own child, for whatever reason there may be is not a fit enough role model/father for that particular child abeg! Yes, in an ideal world, we would love for all kids — male and female alike — to have their fathers and mothers in the picture, but it would be wrong not to admit that children are equally able to do without an irresponsible/unfit father or mother in the picture.

2. I am sorry what? The example the boy currently has from that same man is that a father is one who can abandon his responsibilities without consequence. What can such a man teach this boy about what you term manhood or fatherhood? He can learn much of that from reading books on the subject than from attempting to learn from this current example abeg!

1. I never said 'every father is a good father'.

2. Learn fatherhood & manhood from books

Kobo, I hear you.

luminouz:
Keep infering. Na your inferral.

You now see that your post doesn't make sense.

If your spouse doesn't meet your requirement anymore, let them go before you pick 'a better person'.

That is the honourable thing to do.

Interesting how homosexuals and the LGBTQIA ~ community always feel the need to define themselves by their sexual orientation.

I imagine someone saying he/she is a heterosexual wizard/witch.

Very funny.

Maybe her witchcraft doesn't kill women because I don't know why we should know her sexual orientation now.

Kobojunkie:
You actually wrote the statement in bold? How exactly is this boy to learn that from a man who abandoned him with his mother up until now? Abeg, make una dey find una sons better role models for Pete's sake!

Stop raising arseholes in the name of "a boy needs his father" for crying out loud!

If I remember correctly, she chose the boy's father and the next two fathers after him.

No matter how you twist your bra, every child especially male needs their father/ a father figure. We have enough fatherless children causing havoc in the society.

This OP claims the boy's father is bad; next two men are bad; her brother is bad (was maltreating him or so) so the boy currently has no father figure and he is in his teens.

Since she has control/supervision over his Facebook, then it would be supervised assess.

If he doesn't learn how to be a good father/ what manhood entails, he would learn with fatherhood/manhood doesn't entail.

Vyvyanvyvy:
It wasn't neccessary for you to say all these harsh words to me. I know why you are always bitter with me , because of what happened 3 years ago when i choose my son over my marriage you were one of those people who were against me choosing my son , you wanted me to abandon him on the street so I can still be answering mrs and I don't know why are you showing so much concern about him 😒🙄 as if you were not the one that asked me to abandon him 🤔 stop being a hyprocrite it doesn't suit you .

Why I am always bitter towards you? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

I wanted you to choose your husband over your son. Luckily, I sure my posts are still on your thread.

If I remember correctly, I was giving you an advise that ensured you wouldn't be in the position you are in now: a single mom of four kids from different fathers. You had successfully brought the son home & your husband was carrying face: it was a situation where a little ego massage would have gotten you all you wanted.

Moving on Madam, remove your victimhood cap, take a deep breath and ask:

What is my interest in being 'always bitter towards you'?

It is not about 'you': it is about preventing your son & his future family especially wife from being tormented by you because you have started blackmailing him with 'ungratefulness' because he naturally wants to connect with his father.

I have said it here severally that mothers like you make terrible MILs. This section is littered with several wives rightfully complaining about MILs who do not to loose their sons from their grip because they feel entitled to his existence.

I appreciate your compliment at the end: Being an hypocrite doesn't suit me; if I want to drop a post on your case, I would not give an advise to soothe your itchy ears. I would say the truth from where I stand because I firmly believe I am accountable for all advise I give here as a Christian.

Let me give you a hint: if you don't want to become a bitter MIL in future, start building a life now. Have a life outside your kids; get hobbies that makes you happy; drag your baby daddies to be responsible for them also. So that when they fly the nest, you would be at peace.

Good luck to you & children.

siofra:
😭


I just saw this photo some minutes ago.

Please someone assure me he's not married because my chest is already paining me😩😩

The only man I can tolerate right now. God abeg😭

He's Johnny Drille, the first celebrity I had a crush on. The only person whose voice I fell in love with. I'm already crying. How will I attend his concert next week Friday My heart is heavy.

😭😭😭

A dreadlocked tattooed baby daddy?

Lively Stones nor dey disappoint

You people that do long distance marriage in the name of greener pastures dey try.

NoToPile:
😂

Very valid question @bolded.

Bukabuka happy new year.

Happy new year dear.

He should come and tell us his experience. His young eyes has surely seen something.

HonNL:
SOURCE

I love well read people who are still grounded in their culture.

Reason I admire all these our big mummies & daddies that rep Nigeria very well on global stage.

Aisha Yesufu is also a good representative.

Obavoh:
I fed all my 4 babies with this recipe and they are all healthy and chubby.
You don’t have to borrow money to buy foreign baby food when we have natural resources here.

2 Mudu of corn - free (I plant, harvest and dry myself)

1 Mudu of pearl millet, Gero- 150

1 mudu of Guinea corn- 120

½ mudu of white beans- 200

1 Mudu of tuwo rice- 300

I will pick out stones and dirt from the grains before washing and drying in the sun for at least 3 days.

I take the grains to
dry mill to grind to powder.

May poverty not make us proud of abnormalities.

While you do not to buy foreign baby food, you can't feed a child on one food (which is not even balanced) day in and day out.

At your financial status, you needed just one kid. The second one should be a 'gross mistake'.

At the 3rd, you and your wife should have been taken to the village square for public beating.

At the fourth, you castrated and her tubes tied.

What sort of gross irresponsibility is this?

How do you set up your children to fail?

If you send them to Abe Ile schools and they can't compete with their mates in future, they will rant that there are no jobs in Nigeria or they have generational curses working in their lives.

They wouldn't know that the only problem they have are parents who have no future plans for themselves and their children.

Zonefree:
Any man under the age of 45 coming here to say he's enjoying a thriving marriage with his Nigerian wife is telling a big fat lie!

Your male relatives' marriages did not thrive under the age of 45?

Even if you grew in a cocoon all your life, you were surrounded by family & friends.

Lovilla:
My married sister kept complaining how thier house help is about to bring her marriage to the mud.

She said her husband is no longer giving her attention like before just few months the maid arrived.

The maid is taking over her marriage slowly, as her husband only eats food prepared by the house girl.

She has been crying all day.
She said she has tried everything possible to chase the girl away but her husband always kicks against it.

She is afraid of loosing her marriage.

Please, what must she do?

How would the husband take a lily livered spineless weak wife seriously?

luminouz:
😁😁😁😁😁.

OP na you, talk true... No dey lie for us hia

Reasons?

1. You are a bad cook

2. You are a feminist who refused to do house chores

3. The maid has big yansh and soft breasts

4. She dey use correct gwuogwuo for your husband food

5. She already started serving the other food for your husband and she serves it really good...like the one going through his mouth.

Solutions?

Call your pastors or the elders. Time is running out. Especially on the gwuogwuo part

Can we infer that if the husband is not providing well or good in bed, the wife can start dating the driver?

Foodqueen:
Crying for her maid.

I real woman shouldn't even cry to uproot her mother in law from her house, talkless of a maid.

Your sis is a total al failure.

Henry22:
Yes o , I just confirmed from the political rascal himself that all Yorubas are exempted from the 13k levy, infact he also added that ell Yoruba drivers will get free 10 liters of fuel daily .

Does this extend to we private car owners?

Considering that fuel is rumoured to hit N750k/l, it would bring a little relief.

It is well o

lavylilly:
Have you worked on the Island and you stay on the mainland?

Do only men work on the Island and stay on the Mainland?

Sis, don't let any man gaslight (who knew I would use this word ) you with his unwillingness to engage his family.

I know a number of mothers working the Island/Mainland daily and the number of hoops they cross to be there for their kids in their little capacity.

Same man who doesn't 'have time' for family has time for friends, football, work extra curricular activities, other affairs, clubbing, movie nights, game nights etc.

Don't let them deceive you. They will make time for what they deem important.

I trust Daddy Oyedepo to deal with the issue appropriately.

If a place has rules you can't abide by, stay clear.

I am 100% sure a Christian would not dispute wearing the hijab in a Islamic university if she has to.

In addition to the drama, knowing she might not live to tell the story would set her aright.

Nazgul:
The major reason why most kids are closer to their moms is because a lot of dads out there don't bother to build working relationships with them.

They just settle the bills and move on. Whereras the mom is there all day with them, moulding or manipulating them to love her more. When I was growing up I hardly knew my dad, in fact he was almost like a stranger to me, cos by the time he comes back from work, it's very late and I'll already be in bed sleeping.

I began appreciating him when I started growing older, and saw the magnitude of sacrifice he was putting into the family.

Father's should learn to cultivate the habit of spending quality time with their kids as well. The quality time most men spend in bars, clubs, hotels...etc, if they devout it to building working relationships with their kids, believe me, those children would love and appreciate them till death. Take them out on weekends, talk to them, tell them stories, crack jokes, take pictures, play games...etc. If your impact and presence on your kids is only felt when you're dead, it means you failed them as a father during your lifetime.

Well said.

A number of women are sole providers and still manage to build a relationship with their kids.

The excuse of daddy is working hence not available is so 20th Century.

snthesis:
is messing with my emotions a positive thing, i haven't been settled all day, this is my form of reprieve release

Interesting.

So you are hurt that your wife said you are unromantic.

Instead to prove her wrong, ask her how or improve in your romance, you join a bashfest of your wife on NL.

A number of the guys bashing her don't even have toastees talk more of girlfriends; some others are reading materials to make them more romantic.

This is an ample opportunity to bring your wife closer yet you are throwing it away.

There is a way you would engage your wife romantically that she would discard all the ideas of extra fashion she has in mind.

You have built something for ten years, build a little more, push a little more & you would see great dividends at the end.

Good luck.

Vyvyanvyvy:
Hello fams sorry to bother you again i need your advice please , my son is nearly 15 last year when their father came from italy he contacted me via facebook requesting for my number. I rushed here to asked for advice and you have advised me to give him my number which I did, he called to tell me that he want to 100% support his children with the condition that I have to give them to his sister to take care of them which I refused. I didn't hide anything from my son I have explained everything to him because I don't want someday for his father to corrupt him with fake stories that I was the one who didn't allow him to see them, my son was very disappointed why would his father want them to live with the aunty who hasn't bothered to check on them for 9 years, he said my decision was right because I love them and I don't want them to go and suffer like he did when he was with my brother and his family. It is over a year now haven't heard anything from their father and on sunday my son asked for my permission if he can contact his dad on facebook, my son has a facebook account which is controlled by me , he doesn't have a smartphone so he use my phone to access his account. He said he is a big boy and he want to chat his dad to ask him why he refused to take care of them while they are still in my care , i told him he should not bother himself God will help us but the boy was begging me to please allow him to contact his father , I even shouted at him out of anger i called him ungrateful human being, he cried and apologised to me but I came to realize that he is now a big boy he only want answers from his father and to form a relationship with him only if the father will also see it the same way. I asked my brother for his opinion he said i shouldn't allow him to contact him the father may think that i am the one who sent the boy to beg him to do his duty as a father and he added nobody beg a parent to provide for their children. So far I have taken the advice my brother has given me but my mind is not in peace i keep thinking about it ,i feel like i am not being fair to my son and I should allow him to contact his father, I am taking care of all my 4 children alone as a single mother and i will never stop any of them to have a relationship with their fathers as long as things are taken to the right channel. please help me with your advices should i allow him to contact him or i should let the matter slide ?

@bold:

Ungrateful for what?

Isn't he his father?

Ma'am please let your son have supervised contact with his father. He is growing into a young man and needs his father's guidance. While you might be a fantastic mother, you are not a father and the boy needs his father or a father figure.

If he decides to get married tomorrow, he needs to know how to lead a home and he wouldn't learn it from you.

I hope you do not grow into MILs who do not let their sons and family rest because you brought him up alone.

Again, whatever his father gives him is his birthright. Even if he solicits for funds, he was entitled 15 years ago or the amount of years he has been absent.

I wish your son good luck on engaging with his father.

snthesis:
ohhhhh sheeeeiet!!! now i get what she means... i had a bad deal lastyear and so no vacation, and i havent mentioned vacay this year as well, so its just about money

Have you asked her?

I see you making several assumptions (majorly negative) about your wife all over the thread.

Perhaps you created this thread as a validation for the negative feelings against her or you are just trolling.

Anyways, good luck.

BarrElChapo:
There’s no relationship between tattoos, piercings and leg chains and being romantic, most men are built to be solution providers not being romantic.

You might want to know what’s missing or what she will want you to do more. As for the others each to his own, mine is a no no but whatever rocks your boat is fine. Cheers

XTHRONE:
Shut up if you don't have anything reasonable to say. Give her time to do what. I wonder the type of men we have this days. My wife brought eyelashes that she want to fix, I told her, not in my house, she can go out and rent an apartment and do as she want but as long as she is under my roof she will not do as she want.

Commander in Chief

E ku ise.

karmaolu1:
NA SO ONE OF MY GEL BEEN TELL ME SAY I AM NOT ROMANTIC.
THAT WE SHOULD BREAKUP. NOW AM WATCHING ROMANTIC MOVIES

One of..

Still funny 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣