₦airaland Forum

snthesis:
if i wasnt then how did i get to woo her, get her consent for marriage and stay married till now

Are you treating her the way you treated her then?

rickleye:
Haha, it’s called midlife crisis.

Just tell her she is right and start the dating process again.
Many of us think our wives are like our mothers . Marry and keep for home. The game is changing bro. I am sure she has a friend on WhatsApp with whom she has discussed this with already.

1. Plan a date nite every week . Go catch a flick and have someone watch the kids.
2. Do something together with the family once a month. Go to Olumo Rock and Beach . A family outing .
3. Don’t forget her birthday make it exciting ( get her flowers or money - depending on her love language)
4. Make an effort to show PDA infront of the kids. Steal a kiss 💋, slap her buttocks , call her sexy mamacita or siren.
5. Make sex impromptu. After coitus , ask would like a glass of water or wine to relax ( she will laugh and say , thank you yes or no )
6. If you are just Spooning dude , change into missionary or doggy . ( now sex and love are not the same) . Massage and ask her where she may want to be touched to excite her …

Make the effort !!! You might not be comfortable doing any of the above but as you mentioned it appears she never “ lived “ done anything she wanted to do . Her first born is 10.
And it’s been mummy this , mummy that !

I would give her the leg chain *

Don’t ignore her warnings or else someone else will fill the void.

Lovely post apart from the last paragraph.

I don't like threatening spouses with adultery

snthesis:
do women go through mid-life crisis too?, this is very strange to me

Do birds fly?

What have they been teaching you guys about women?

snthesis:
Got a shocker recently, my wife suddenly says i am not romantic after 10years of marriage and having 3 children... should i be worried
we got married young and she now in her early 30s

p.s
she now wants to get a tattoo, piercing. waistbeads and wear leg chain

Are you sure it is suddenly? Or had she been hinting you over the last ten years and you did not take her seriously?

Has she been forwarding posts to you, praising men behaving a way she seems romantic, chipping in how she likes what XYZ did in a movie, how ABC give back rubs to X, how Mr. Z held hands with Ms. A and proffessed his undying love, does she sometimes come up with ideas which you rebuff, complain that you do not compliment her, try to get your attention in the home etc? Do you know her love language? What turns her on, what makes her melt?

She has a break from kids now so things that took the back burner might now become important to her again.

Marriage doesn't dims one's desire for romance & other grand gestures; also, as she has grown older, her taste might have changed and you need to keep up & vice versa.

Discuss with her (her opening up was a good point to prove your romanticness but you ran to NL) to know what her expectations are and adjust accordingly.

If there are also some things you need from her to facilitate your romantic side, it is an opportunity to tell her.

As for your post script, why is she interested in those things now? What are the things you don't mind? E. G. Waistbeads under her clothes etc. I think the why is important though. Again, are you sure she just 'suddenly' started wanting them?

gbengene1234:
The day your pastors start preaching in churches that it's not one man, one woman. Alot of ladies will start having sense and stop seeing a second wife as a threat to marriage. Men are polygamous in nature. Even our African culture supports it. Great men in the bible married more than one woman.

Great men in the Bible stole, killed and disobeyed God.

Even great women in the Bible were prostitutes, slept with their father in-laws and did all sorts.

I hope you follow their foot steps.

I pray God consoles May and the boy's siblings for this irreparable loss.

Charles2001:
Couldn't you just end at sending your condolences. Are you this selfish? How does your comment help anyone.

How is her comment selfish?

Who is AKA and Ben in the two men?

Goalnaldo:
Once you are guilty, you feel you deserve everything thrown at you. I believe the man would be thinking "if i hit this lady now and she dies, ill be committing double offence".

@bold:

Very true.

Kingcalls:
This is why they are brain washing men not to hit women....so that they can emasculate men to become docile while the woman hits u whenever she feels like while the world will do nothing... if a woman tries u , beat her well well mk she get sense ...

Your ability to twist facts to suit your purpose should not be wasted; please join Nigerian politics.

RaySimran:
Good.

Unleashing the terror on her randy husband - and not the third party - come off as the best approach deployed, she's a wise woman.

May nature continue in supplying her more guts to face situations like this - so sanity can return to her home.

Ise-eh

She wisely tackled the source of the problem.

Zonefree:

Domestic violence at its peak. Men are becoming endangered species in the hands of the female gender.

May God protect us.

Ever heard of crime of passion?

If he zipped up, he would not have been beaten at that point.

Next time, teach them to zip up.

VIKTO83:
From d onset he spelt it out that it's for 1week period.
So why are u all accusing him of being insincere? Must we play politics with everything?
How many states in Nigeria were able to do anything of such?

Just what I wanted to say.

From the OP, it was for a week. For whatever reason, it was extended to two months.

They have not erred in this.

Lagos State workers should tell us if the promised increase was effected (and track if it would be permanent ) and if the pensioners have been swiftly paid. Those were the campaign promises we can hold him to.

Rilwayne001:
Even Tinubu cannot declare sit at home in Lagos.

As in.

Perhaps someone mixed Oshogbo weed with the last batch of Egusi sent to him.

SultanOfPuna:
All these Church scammers don start again.
Your pregnant wife was bleeding blood and instead of you to rush her to hospital
You told her to go and make food for you in the kitchen.

It's not faith, it's pure stupidity
When you get stroke or heart attack and collapse on the floor
Your wife will command you get up
Let's go to church. Foolish pastors

If I remember correctly, she said first son; this means he is still living, breathing, alive & doing wonders for God today.

If you don't understand their faith, leave it.

What would be a healthy, effective alternative to Sunlight for me kwanu?

Evolutionlove:
It is always one of my prayer points not to come across oloreeburuku people like you in this life.

You and your Immediate families should keep enjoying Una Poverty alone.

You can imagine of someone like him becomes the HR of a multinational

They are the cost savers isonu that ruin foreign businesses because their generation has made a pact with poverty.

We4all:
Now that we are on this topic, which soap can a dark skin use that will clear blemishes and acne but will not lighten the skin? I have come to realize that it is very difficult for a dark skin to maintain an even and spot free complexion without using a product that lightens the skin.

If you go to the supermarket, you will find soaps that contains pawpaw, kojic acid and other lightening products. Unfortunately, without these lightening agents, your journey to a glowing skin as a dark skinned will be in vain. So, I need inputs on the type of soap which is best for dark skin without bleaching the skin.

Try Dove Beauty Bars. There is the 4-in-1 pack (cheaper) and the 6-in-1 pack.

maleekberry:
It's a pity

Sometimes I wonder why all these big multinationals can't do what other smaller companies are doing to survive

See smaller brands like waw,viva, good mama,unik bathing soap, hawaii soap, Eva soap are all cashing out and making huge sales in this bad economy nah him Unilever dey phase out some household products. Nah wa

These big companies should better stop paying all these their staffs fat salaries for doing nothing

They should divert those monies to marketing. They should recruit boys and girls on the street and use them to do aggressive marketing. Can't they learn from the way waw they do street marketing.

@bold:

🤣

Nigeria has surely conditioned you to accept an abnormal situation where workers are paid below living wages as normal.

E pele sir.

pocohantas:
We know his type, Buka. Instead of him to go work out how they can increase their income, he ran to tell us marriage is not worth it and his comrades gathered to feast on it. Best believe that young man hasn’t lived with a pet, let alone a wife/kids. Even single people have these recurring expenses.

The way they are always quick to demonise marriage. Leave the marriage na, no way! Nawa!

@bold:

As in!

🤣 @ he hasn't lived with a pet or wife & kids.

pocohantas:
I was shocked to see the 100k but I restrained myself because fingers are not equal. I am not sure I can do 50k in a month _less than $100. Maybe that is why I am a gold-digger. I wouldn’t like my husband to create thread over 50k a month. 😩

The problem is not even the amount, it is his attitude to the institution of marriage. If he is happily married or wants to be happily married, then he would know that his issue is low income and work with his wife to increase their earnings.

Or create a thread on how to make more income.

If this OP generates more income today, he would look for something else to complain about in his marriage/marriage in general.

To him, marriage is not worth it (to his wife). That is the foundation of his problem.

dododawa1:
NIGERIA leaders make Nigerian marriage difficult.

:

Abba114:
im not telling u cuz it wont change anything

Can you imagine?

You don't know who I am (in terms of solution I can proffer) or if someone who can give you practical advise is on this thread.

What would it have cost you to talk since whatever you are doing currently is not working?

You have just concluded that nothing would change yet complaining how 'unlucky' you are.

You need a serious mindset overhaul in addition to other things you might need to do to break forth.

Ire o!

bellong:
Happy new years ooo. Na you be this...

Happy new years broda mi! 🥰

How are you & family?

Thought you have deactivated your account.

Na mi ooooooo!

Abba114:
life is all about luck mthrfckrs. if working hard pays i would have been rich by now i started working very hard since i was 15 nd im 28now i have nothing i mean not a single kobo in my pocket or in my account. i only have scars from the hard work i did for years life is cruel

Life is not all about luck.

What you do you and what is your definition of working hard?

Education is the easiest way of out poverty. Might not make everyone rich, however, it is the most common way poor people leave the cycle of poverty.

Time & Chance matters; however you must be prepared. It is said that luck is preparedness meeting opportunity. There is also the place of favour & grace which doesn't still negate handwork that provides value: God said He will bless the works of our hands. There must be a channel for the blessing.

Your background also matters a lot: a fluent background gives you a solid edge. Someone who grew up rich is already exposed to any things the poor has not heard of. He/she knows places, opportunities, trainings, investment, people etc that can elevate him/her why the poor is still struggling to survive.

Your background also helps you understand that working hard is different from working smart or providing value. Hard work which doesn't provide value would not make one rich.

Also poverty makes someone make stupid decisions as regards children. Deciding to have a lot of kids (some people can only can for one & have five,) when you cannot successfully give them the platform to succeed is wickedness. Having kids you cannot comfortably give good education is insane in today's world. An intentional poor man with a kid would go wonders than an average man with four children.

Also poverty can make people seek instant gratification. Instead of buying that extra Okada or repairing the spoilt shock absorbers of your car, you think a second wife or the owanbe lace is the next thing.

raskymonojendor:
Even Arise TV

Na alignment remain.

If you condemn someone and the person managed to win by hook or crook, no bi to greet him 'well done, we see your hand'?

Until he loses the case in court (if he does), I think it would be wisdom to align, keep mute or condemn on a neutral ground.

sweetjohn:
You did not love Tinubu but tribalism that's all. All you Yorubas are supporting based on tribalism nothing more.

Can we also claim Igbos are supporting Peter Obi said on tribalism?

Someone said he loves BAT (for whatever reason) and you turned it into a tribal thing.

QuinModah:

You resurrected this old thread

Kobojunkie:
How so?

This is the Kobo I know

The post sounded very practical, relatable & applicable on a topic many 'progressive' people would have twisted in knots to give answers to sound woke.

Kobojunkie:
1. Are you insinuating that men also don't?

Looks are very important particularly in these climes where the standard is much higher than the one you are coming from.

@bold:

I laugh when I read Nigerians especially women who think Nigerian men are 'demanding' when it comes to looks & Western men are better.

Like you rightly said, the average Nigerian needs to 'Behind' up in addition to other things if they want to succeed in the foreign dating market.

Kobojunkie:
1. She may appear shallow to you but it would be dishonest to suggest that out here in the west, looks don't matter a whole lot. Even in Nigeria, it also does but here, if you look unkempt, you are likely not to get any feed unless from those who look equally as you do.

2. Stop right there. No sane woman will want to connect emotionally with a man who is a turn-off at first sight. Go on your dating apps to see that men apply the same metrics as far as women even on there when it comes to finding love.

3. That mindset is the reason why many Nigerians remain single here for longer than others. You cannot continue as you were believing someone will eventually find you attractive. That rarely works and is a core reason why many of even our Nigerian women remain single abroad. You have to update your look so you look the part abroad. Update your looks, your mind, and even your intonation if you want to mingle and find a mate. Unless of course, you will go bury yourself in a Nigerian church somewhere in hopes that one lonely Nigerian man or woman who was rejected outside will find you there.

This sounds so....... unlike you