₦airaland Forum

pocohantas:
Most times it is based on issues with her family. Some of these issues happen during the marriage rites and he would already plan in his mind to pay the bride price, take his wife home and show them pepper. The poor woman would be the one caught in the middle for a problem that has no direct link to her. The bride price wasn’t given to her. Neither were the items on the list.

This thing happens a lot in the SE and I know way too many.

Generally there is no pressure on men to be well-behaved towards their in-laws. I have never seen anyone advising men to take their mother inlaws as their own. Some of them do not even have their inlaws number. Many in fact. It is the wife that keeps covering up. Extending nonexistent greetings from her husband. They dismiss all this as normal. They are busy. They are taking care of the wife…so what more do you want from them?

Marriage is beautiful, but I think we women pay more dearly when it is sour or goes sour. As such, no pressures. When you find the one that ticks the important boxes, hold am tight.

I also think our mothers didn’t teach us enough on the ways of men. It is beyond submission, allowing him have his way sexually and cooking. I find myself talking a lot with my sister in-law these days and she is totally clueless.

AmazonTopaz:
My submission on this is pretty straightforward some Nigerian marriages are a nightmare.
I know of one who stopped his wife from going to help at a family occasion on the day she was meant to go after informing him a week prior about her plans ooo.

The woman was already driving to the venue, she left the kids at home and the husband when he gets home will take care of them that evening. The man called her oo that she should reverse back home oo that if she doesn't he would divorce her.

The thing is the men who were at the occasion heard the whole thing because the woman turned it to a big issue and as an events planner refused to do an event for her husband's friend because of what he did. He forbade her from going to the gathering the men at the gathering said the man knew how to run his home, it is opinion the wife should obey, they used the word 'obey' and 'respect' and that women should listen that he doesn't owe any explanation. Anyway, the woman doesn't owe the husband or his friend any explanation as a week to the event she cancelled her plans to help the husband's friend to spite him too and it affected the money the man would earn from the arrangement.

1. The thing is men would support men, women must support women. I have always had the view from my early twenties not too long ago anyway that if as a Nigerian woman you can avoid marrying Nigerian men or Nigerian bred men please do.

2. Our mothers of old raised these men poorly. I know of a boy in the University who could not cook as his sisters did it for him at home while in school he dey call him mama to tell am how to put ingriedients for food. For my mind I say them for give am one of him sisters to follow body come help am cook for school.

AmazonTopaz:
I am from the South East and I don't advice women to marry Igbo men sha

Anyway they say I hate Nigerian men so I don't care.

AmazonTopaz:
Well it was a Twitter thread created by someone with the name Bitter Feminist on Twitter who was sharing screenshots on how Igbo Facebook married women community take permissions from their lords and personal saviours aka husbands before they go and see their parents

pocohantas:
Nnem, you can manage the exposed ones. Especially the ones in corporate sector and Lagos brought up. Not brought up in Ladipo o. But you see those ones in Aba, Onitsha, Enugu… I wish you love and light.

They also complain of we Lagos brought up Igbo girls. Like I care. I don’t even want them and based on experience, I STILL DO NOT WANT!

MT:
I am against spraying of money too but looking at it from the other side, it is part of our culture. Nigerians love show off, and if they have not sprayed, they have not enjoyed the party.

This concept is not illegal as well because they just created a paper note as party money. They never counterfeited the Federal Repulic of Nigeria currency. In a way, the event planner has become the Central Bank Governor of Party.

My people no go kill me.

Judybash93:
Flip the table and this would sound bizarre!

Raalsalghul:
Bukatyne: always giving balanced views on marriage related topics.

EbenezerTriumph:
pansophist and bukatyne are the real bosses. been always looking for their comments cos they enlighten me a lot.

Acidosis:
My sister

Gerrard59:
In my opinion, that guy did not make any sense. I have come across hard-working and well-cultured ladies who contribute immensely to themselves, their families and the workplace. I discussed with them frequently, so when he was told to change his environment, it was actually good advice. Honestly, I am proud of how my parents brought my siblings and me up because we no fit reason like this. There will always be the good and bad, handsome and ugly, and logical and illogical people in society. That said, I don't consider the average Nigerian man to be intelligent. Nigeria is a case study of how a country is when governed by unintelligent men, so the braggadocio that men are inventors and built successful societies does not apply to Nigerian men. Na white and East Asian men get those appellations. Interestingly, you would never see them make mouth o.

I think the major issue with these Ndi alfa meils is poverty because if na public education, I and my siblings and even these ladies I know all passed through the public education system. Hasty generalisations are not the right ways to look at issues holistically. On the other hand, Ndi feminists have their own faults, and one of the reasons alfa meilism rose is because of the extremism of Ndi feminism

Gerrard59:
White and Asian men oo

This braggadocio by black men claiming to be alfa meils dey always burst my head.

aestake:
If I am a woman, why would I go committing crimes when the loots get to me?

gard9ner:
Chocolate, why are you so pained huh? That’s exactly what the poor guy is saying, everything you spewed reeks of emotions, nothing makes a person sound weaker and unintelligent as “emotional” expression void of appeal to pathos.

You’re out of line, no one is talking about crimes, besides no particular gender has the monopoly of crime ok; women rob, kidnap, rape and brutally assault men and other women alike, pls don’t insult me just find the pony. It’s a social issue and the pendulum of social opinion swings left and right.

aestake:
Men commit those crimes to please you.

olaeffect:
I attended a human capital management session recently.
And we were given a new angle to managing problematic subordinates.

Instead of looking at maverick and misfits from the angle of "what is wrong with you?" We were trained on how to start looking at them from the angle of "What happened to you?"

You see, most people have gone through so much negativity that they are not even aware that they have been molded very wrongly.
They actually don't really know the difference between wrong, right, and ideal.

Unfortunately, with my experience of working with many people, I have come to realize that this misfits and mavericks cut across both gender.

ERlS:
Attention seeking and since nairaland is an echo chamber for misogynists, they want validation.

I'll never understand expending so much energy on something you supposedly hate. If i hate something, it simply doesn't exist to me.

gard9ner:
He isn’t female, Kobojunkie is stupid boy with an undeveloped brain, if you doubt me track his posts and comments, from his always attacking, illogical and invading comments he is even the one who needs mental help.

Always looking for arguments, I remember in one certain thread 2yrs ago, someone even laid curses on him and threatened to harm him physically. I pray they don’t harm him one day. People should just ignore the fool, watch his next actions now as I’ve given him small relevance.

Flame77:
This is exactly what the OP is referring to about the female gender and you just proved him right. But I do know there are few exemptions to the OP's observations about the female gender. My sweet wife, my kid sister and my sweet mum of blessed memory are among the few exemptions. My baby girl of just 3 years too is really showing signs of another exemption.

DIVINEEVIDENCE:
Look, I used to fawn around women until I caught women I respected and could swear for, in fornication and adultery, married and unmarried.

Today, I've developed a total blank attitude to women.

No woman fazes me again, beautiful, endowed, rich, homely or whatever.

I can look any woman straight in the eye and call her bluff.

I deal with them on a purely formal level and anyone who's developing feelings for me does so at her own peril.

I put up a post the other day seeking to know how one can identify a woman who will never cheat in marriage.

This is one information I need to get hold of to even consider marriage.

Op cited an example of the reckless Nekedepoly girl.

Check out reels, Instagram posts and posts on virtually any picture/video sharing site.

Its usually women in semi/total unclothedness.

How can you respect such characters?

Karleb:
Show me your friends and I will tell you who you are. Or something like that.

Supersymetry:
Fallacy. I have seen countless illogical men, in general most people are not logical.
It depends on the situation, both gender can be illogical and logical.

main24:
The marriage system just like every other system in this world is flawed and built on deceit.

Acidosis:
The idea of sending the same amount of everything to both parents is somewhat unreasonable

Point 1, both parents don't live in the same country; hence, different cost of living.

Point 2, the needs of a de facto single mother and a typical mom and dad family would differ in many ways.

Point 3, the pressure on an only-child situation would be greater than a family with 5 children.


Maybe it's time to reconsider this fixed, joint-everything situation. You both should take it easy and be flexible, please. Life is not that hard.

ctex4real:
This is what I plan to do henceforth.
I think because she contributes to bills, she feels entitled to a 50-50 arrangement.

ikeno:
You not paying for just the foods and drinks but also for the coziness of the place and serene atmosphere 😂😂

Same thing with phcn and crazy bill,they don't just bill you for only the electricity they supply but also the darkness when there's no electricity.🤣🤣🤣

Romanoff:
The question is "are the abroad men looking for women like you"?