₦airaland Forum

Syntaxbyte:
Please advice me on this.

There is a girl we have been dating for 3 years now, and we seem to be in a good term wrh each other, so I introduced her to my Mum which she welcomed her nicely. And I have got to know her Mum too (not her Dad yet).
She has been visiting my Mum for a greet even without both of use go together. I will just be notified by her that she went there.

So, both of us went there yesterday (Sunday) for a greet. I saw my Mum attitude against her, not so nicely like before. I then begin to observe tightly but noting to hold up on.

That night, my Mum called me that she needs to speak with me (I realized that she's about to talk based the girl).

Mum: Good evening son, I so much love you but that's why I will not kept quiet.

Mum: Your fiancee disrespect me so much. The last time she came, we were washing clothes. She sat down a bit and stood up later to wash, but she didn't even eash it well.

Me: Ah,

Mum: Likewise today (Sunday), she saw me washing clothes and can't even collect it, what if there is a visitor in between?

Mum: Just Incase you see me not so nicely with her next time. You should know that that's the cause. She disrespect me a lot!

Me: Mum, am s sorry, I will talk with her

Mum: No, don't say anything to her concerning this. I will change against her whenever she comes, till she ask that "Why" and I will tell her.

PLEASE, advice me, I so much love my Mum. But I want this girl to be a wife she proves to be.

Please what can I do?

JaneYave:
Too much bleaching spoils a woman's beauty. HBD

lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

catfrog10:
We all know most of the owners are Igbos. Have you ever seen a Yorubaa spare parts dealer in your life? Do they even know the way or what it takes to import these parts from Japan and Korea? Have you ever seen a Yorubaa at the airport with handbag saying he is going to Tokyo, Yokohama, Singapore, Seoul, e.t.c to import auto parts? Let's be honest with ourselves, everything is not tribalism. Keep burning Igbos shops and think that will slow Igbos down? Only God can slow Igbos down on this earth!

DaddyRochie1642:
Love still dey shack this one

sinkhole:
I use mine almost everyday, though the thing that really concern us most in Nigeria is, if it will rain or not!
Weather App does not predict if there will be harmattan dust or not, that would have been another good thing to watch out for.

zangaozanga:
Double mouth miscreant, those that have follow his advice would have died for nothing

Alejoas:
Don't take laws into your hand, let push for referendum and peaceful revolution. Dont cause Yoruba to loose their lives over nothing. Yoruba people need to be consulted before some people who anoint themselves as the leader and thinker for the race. Let's strengthing amotekun and other paramilitary groups to help improve our security. Lets have our own data base and install security cameras to monitor our area. In the Yoruba nation, the ruling corrupt leaders in Yoruba land will still have their area boys to wreck havoc and still continue with their lust for money and power. The Ogun and Lagos oligarchy will never give an Ekiti, Ondo or Ijesha man the opportunity to lead as long as democracy remains a game of number. I have external battery for your laptop. Do you need one? Come let's deal. Let us make Nigeria work or we go back to install our traditional monarchy institution. Lets not waste the lives of our people in vain. Na all of us spoil Nigeria reach where e spoil reach. Lets join the revolution to fix Nigeria now. We can start from our locality and picket any govt institution that is openly corrupt like the Nigerian Immigration Service, Road Safety Offices, Custom and make sure they serve us right. It will take you and I to make the needed change, let's vote out any govt that is not for the people and keep replacing them everytime till we get better deals.

envoymedia:
Award winning Nigerian gospel singer, Osinachi Kalu, popularly known as Sinach took to her Instagram handle to celebrate her 48th birthday today 30th March, IgbereTV reports.

Sharing photos of herself, she wrote;


https://www.instagram.com/p/CNA3TsLlAXH/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link


https://www.instagram.com/p/CNBVQ_OFLdn/?utm_source=ig_web_copy_link

capitalzero:
Read history. Wearing of Hijab is the first. They have bigger plan. That is eventual take over the country. They want all facets of national life to have Islamic coloration.

slivertongue:
borno elites know this boys but keep pretending. toh na then go suffer am pass

bigpicture001:
When are some in black and some in blue

HappyCanadian:
Hey guys,

I met this Canadian girl online we started talking, all was casual till we vibed well and she developed massive love for me. Each day she confesses how she liked me, think about me and all that. The thing is that she is taking it too far thinking we are dating or maybe I will marry her but I never asked her out we have just been friends.

The girl respects me, does anything I asked her and even promised to assist bring any member of my family to Canada don't know if she is serious though.

But the thing is that I have my own spec when it comes to girls and don't intend marrying her..

Please how do I leave her without her getting hurt, as it seems am trapped

Note: I never asked her out.. attached is a message she just sent now and I laughed..

Uprightness100:
Condolences to the Families of the Dead!

The Nation of Egypt being hit back to back.
These are part of strange things we are talking about hitting the Nations of the Earth.
Let's quit Pretending like things are normal.
Let's Live Prepared!
Like Play! Like Play the Trumpet will Blast , Millions will vanish all over and the world will be thrown into Full blown Confusion

izito:
*

In 2016 she told me her salary was #50.000 And then two years later, when she got promoted, I asked about her salary and she said, “Oh these people, don’t mind them. They added only #5000 to my old salary. Because of her meager salary, I’ve taken up so many responsibilities in the house without complaint. I pay for utilities and pay for food. I pay the fees of our two kids, clothe them, and take care of their medical bills. When my wife sends me a grocery list, she adds sanitary pads. She buys dresses and clothes, comes to show them to me, and asks me to pay for them. She started talking about a car when our second child came in. Things weren’t good on my side so I asked her to give me some time. She said, “I’ve saved something. I can add it to what you have so you pay me when your money comes.”

I agreed and took that money from her, topped it up to get her a car. For three months my ears never rest. She would wake up at dawn and ask me to pay what I owed her. I got tired and paid the money when I didn’t have much in my account.

One evening, I turned my laptop on and saw a lot of emails. I checked and it was my wife’s email that had been opened. I asked her, “Did you use my laptop?” She answered, “Yeah I was checking something.” I told her, “Then you didn’t log out.” She answered, “I forgot. Please log out for me.” I was about to log out when something caught my attention. I saw a mail with the subject, “January Payslip.” I opened and started going through. When I saw her gross salary, I was shocked. #400,734? And this girl has been crying poverty?

I went through the details. That night I couldn’t sleep. I was angry. I felt let down. I felt cheated. I felt played. We’ve been married for six good years and my wife earned that much without my knowledge? How much she earned didn’t bother me a lot than what she was using that money for. I decided not to talk immediately but rather do a little bit of investigation.

All my life I’ve held the view that it wasn’t right for anyone to go through their partner’s phone. It’s an invasion of privacy and it breeds mistrust in the relationship but that night, going through her phone was the only way to find out what I was looking for. I started with her best friend. Nothing much was found. Her family had a Whatsapp group. I read the messages there. I got few hints. I went through the chat with her father and that was when I realized my wife had bought a piece of land and had started building. Her father was in charge of the project. He had sent photos of the various stages of the building. At some point, her father said, “Thank you for helping out your brother. He would have been home had it not been you.”

She has only one brother—her senior brother. I went to look for the chat between them. Her senior brother lost his job and was home doing nothing so my wife bought her Hyundai i10 to use for Uber. Every week, her brother rendered an account and they split the money. From all indications, my wife was doing well for herself while she plays poor so she could rely on my salary. Why would she do that? I thought I was being a supportive husband so my wife could be proud of the man she married. When we bought land, it was her name and my name that appeared on the land title. That car I bought for her with a loan from her bears her name. I didn’t mind. I believed what’s hers was also mine. 

The next morning she realized I wasn’t looking well. I was boiling on the inside but looking for a good opportunity to start the conversation. When I calmed down a little, I asked her, “So why would you do that to me?” She asked, “What have I done?” I answered, “You bought land, you never told me. You started building on it, you never told me. When are you going to tell me?” She was shocked. She asked, “Who told you all that?” I said, “Your father did.” She stood quiet for a while. She asked, “Why would my father tell you all that? What were you people talking about” I said, “I don’t know. You can ask him.” 

We left it there. Some minutes later she came to me with her phone: “My father wants to talk to you.” The phone was already on a loudspeaker. His father was clearly angry. He asked, almost shouting, “You said I told you my daughter has a building? Where did I say that and when?” I asked, “Is it not true that my wife has a building project going on that you’re supervising?”  He asked me, “I told you that?” I asked, “Is it true or not?” After the back and forth I told them, “I read your messages last night. I saw the pictures. I read the various budget you had sent to my wife. I read the confirmation of the money receipts that you sent her. You’re a man. Would you be happy if your wife does this to you?” He started fumbling. He started apologizing saying he thought I was aware.”


My wife stood there motionless, didn’t know what to say. When her father hung up, I told her everything I knew, from her salary to the car she bought for her brother. I said, “Yet, even your sanitary pad, I buy them. You think I’m a fool? You’ll use your money to acquire your own properties and live on mine because you’re my wife? I hear. We’ll see.”

Trust was lost. Love was broken. We had to find a new way of living our lives going forward. Her father called me every morning and evening apologizing for everything and sometimes taking up the blame so I didn’t have to blame his daughter. I told him, “The emotional state I’m in right now, it would be hard to think straight or think forgiveness. Just give me space.” Three days later, they were in our house. The father, the mother, and the senior brother. They came to apologize. “Don’t let this break up the beautiful marriage you both have. If nothing at all, consider the kids and be lenient in your judgment.”

I listened to them. My position was still the same. “I need time to clear my mind. Just leave me alone to think.” From last month to this moment that I’m writing this, my wife had changed totally. She doesn’t ask for money but the house is being run smoothly. She has started paying for things she never paid for but that doesn’t move me. She has taught me a very great lesson and I’m taking it seriously. That in everything, I have to look out for myself and my family first. Last she told me, “If you want us to change the names on those properties, we can do so.” Guess whose name is on the property…her father’s name.”

I told her, “You don’t need to change anything. They are yours. You suffered for them so you can decide what you want to do with them.” The land I bought has our names. I’m selling it and take my money back. The car she’s driving has her name. I put a for-sale sticker on it some weeks ago. She agreed she’ll pay for the car. I’ve given her two months to pay up or I sell it and take my money. She’s getting the message and I’m glad. Each one for himself, God for us all. She keeps asking if I’m going to leave her. I keep telling her I won’t but if she wants a divorce, I will gladly give her. I’m not going to leave the marriage. I would give us some time to heal and see what may happen but when it comes to money, I’ve taken the lesson she taught me through her actions. 

*What's your take?*

pkang:
You could be right though. I do recalled calling her in the morning around 8 am and she sounded somehow. I had the doubt if she would come. I called again at 12:25pm and she didn't pick the call. I knew she wouldn't come and never wanted calling her back but I just thought maybe she would have given the excuse that I didn't call at that very time.
I won't be pained if she never come to me. My lack of communication is my major problem. It has ruined so many relationships for me because I always become cold and blank at some point in the conversation.
I will take your advice to heart. Thank you.



There might be two issues with you which you may try to google it up.


is either you have High function Asperger or High functioning avoidant personality disorder

check and see which one is related to you problem and try working on it. CBT works for all mojor disorders.

Good luck



Sure I will try this.







101 ways to get a lady



She didn't made it mandatory though.
When she said she won't be coming. I asked her when would she be coming. She inquired to know my duty for this week and next which I told her. Then she told me won't I be calling her again? It doesn't mean I have to call her all day. Maybe once a while which has not been my thing. And I wouldn't want to be calling her only when I need her because a girl once told me, "your call na only when we go see?"
Anyways, her voice no dey print money.



Sorry for trying to make your brain overwork.

Thanks for contributing anyway.



Thank you plenty.
Your advice is great too.

ohiMuk:
I want to stop teaching job and start my own vocational training center, please your advice and knowledge is needed on the way go about it. I have been teaching in private schools for 5years now and nothing to show for it. Though i have a certificate of industrial setting such as soap, cream, paint production etc

Hugomexis:
Is chevrolet really good for Naija roads?

I love the designs and sleek of the chevrolet camaro 2016 but I have some reservations about it especially the availability of parts in case of repair.

Will buying it be a good idea?