₦airaland Forum

I am rolling. I had to clutch my belly to laugh

You even specified the size of eyeball...Hahahahha

On a more serious note, I know two people that meet your criteria. One would have been perfect for you until I got to the virgin part.

The other one has all you need including eyeball size but her temper no be for here.

Let me know if you are interested.

bignero:
lol

i laff in vietnamess

i hope you dont think that whats respnsible for his success?

if thats his reason ill say he has no sense of style, and doesnt want it showing no man has the time or luxry to "seriously" think about what he wears except these movie stars and celebs. well his famous and rich and even his fart will sell, what more his opinions

Nope, I do not think that is what is responsible for his success. However, that kind of thinking I believe is a major contributor to what/where he is today.

bignero:
thats ikoyi bridge not thrid mainland madama lailai.

mark we know is simple and down to earth which is sweet and commendable

but havent you worn that same shirt enough already? yes we know you have lots of the same shirt perhaps in thousands, oga mark, we know you can buy the whole of africa t shirts..but some one tell him we've goten the memo about that shirt already...

somethings over done makes it look stupid

Nothing stupid about it.

He wears the same colour of shirt to reduce the time wasted in thinking of what to wear everyday when he could be putting his brain to more productive use. That is very smart.

This is a serious issue though. We are trying to control the population in Nigeria seeing as our government does not have any immediate plans for the imminent population explosion predicted within the next 10 years. Fake comdoms mean an increase in unwanted pregnancies, unsafe abortions, abandoned children, unnecessary population growth which will affect the economy.

So if everyone in the world dressed like this and someone was to go missing. How do we identify the missing person?

singlefade25:
haha hahaha, thanks most beautiful.

Congrats sweetie!


_{Remember us in your days of plenty o}

masciv:
Cousin who is a banker lives like a slave.Goes to work as early as 6am and comes back by 9,10. Earliest she was back was around 8:30. Works Monday-Friday and many times on Saturdays too. Has nothing doing other than banks. Is so lazy and barely does anything else at home cos she always too tired. One day I saw her coming back from work and I was like... Did they beat this girl to stupor or is she just waking up from coma. She wore such a forlorn face I've seen only from people at the IDP camps and other war torn areas. I had to tell her to her face one day...I can never marry someone like you. If I was already engaged and you took up a job like this, I'll break immediately. I don't know if all bankers live like this but jeez she lives like a slave... Only a modern slave you could say.

Excuse me? She goes to work from 8am to 9pm and you still called her lazy because she doesn't do house chores??

AZeD1:
My phone.

Lol...how can that be true?

AZeD1:
I don't know what phone your husband uses, but most phones will save pictures automatically once you view the picture.

Which phone does this?

TV01:
Playful relationships? Yes, absolutely yes!

But using derogatory or abusive language does not necessarily equate to playful. Early on I told my wife I thought it was a bad idea - as a matter of policy !

I think it's easy for the use of such words to become embedded - without ever meaning to. I also think they can be dropped at inappropriate times - totally unintentionally - that may cause hurt.

I also think a man is more likely to drop one unthinkingly, and a woman is more likely to take one at face value, when no hurt was intended. Long/short, I believewomen are a tad more sensitive. I know I've said things that "touched" without meaning to, how much more with words specifically designed to hurt?

Funny enough, this type of "dissing banter" is more characteristic of males. Notice how women don't give themselves nicknames, and me do, usually derogatry/funny ones like jughead etc?

I know it's each couple to their own, but I think it helps to accord your spouse that honour and lends an air of "special", no to pedestalise one another though.. I have pledged in my heart never to use foul language, raise my voice or my hand to my wife. So far, so good...but women, they can test you eh!


TV

Women actually give themselves nicknames. My friends first words on the phone are always chicken legs or fat head

Another starts with Ode

Ujoan:
Honestly, I don't think Linda and Toyin were completely wrong . . . her case was actually hopeless and soliciting money from well-meaning Nigerians was deceptive. Stage 4 Ovarian Cancer? Haba . . . . Only a miracle will make her survive that!

I think the family tried to do something funny but when exposed, were forced to take her to SA for treatment. Was SA the original plan? Didn't they have better options than SA? Looks to me that they wanted somewhere close to home, in the event of her death.

As for the so-called 'investigation', we all know how Nigerian Police works.

RIP to Mayowa . . . . Sad loss!

Exactly my sentiments. Not to come across as insensitive but I still believe there was an element of greed in the family's actions. Linda's stand was that the doctors had already told the family she had a 0.001 percent chance of survival yet they went ahead to ask Nigerians to raise money. Raising money for issues like brain tumours or kidney transplant is okay because there is a 50-50 chance of survival but raising money for stage 4 cancer is deceptive in my opinion.

Their priority should have been on how to make her more comfortable in her last days instead of feeding her to the media.

vankaycarter:
Some month from now. Op would tell us he has gotten the job and that he paid the money, he would thank us for our advice , then he would say the Hausa man has like 10 slots for next year January. Then he would promise to link us to the man. We would all pay 50 k in to the Hausa man's account and then some unfortunate ones would even look for the 450k and pay part, at the end all of us would be massively scamed. That's a long term plan my dear. Op isn't gonna get scammed he wants to scam us. He is preparing our mind for it. Gotche rnx. I read too much

100000000 likes

Dynamite11, see if you can pick a thing or two from the quote

.When I moved in with my girlfriend, everything was great. We had each other's perpetual company, space for ourselves, and best of all: isolation and freedom.

After a few months, we started getting surprise visits from her parents. They would wake us up by pounding on the door, or sometimes even barge in. Sometimes it was just her mother and father, other times they brought their 5 year old daughter. Don't get me wrong, I enjoy spending time with my girlfriend’s sister and even her parents. But these visits were unexpected, untimely, and were happening at an increasing rate. It was obnoxious when we had plans or weren't feeling like socializing.

That's when I had an idea: beat them at their own game. Bright and early one morning, I'm talking 4:30am on a weekday, my girlfriend and I picked up our loudest, most obnoxious friend, and ventured over to her parent’s place. I'm sure you can guess what we did, we barged in, shouting “wake up!”, forcing them out of bed. We proceeded to demand they make us breakfast, and spent hours interrupting their morning routines. Pleased with ourselves, we left around 10am and went on with our day.

The visits from them started happening less and less after that day. Today, they notify us if they're coming over, which is exactly what we wanted the whole time. Why they started doing it in the first place, I'm not sure. In the end, I feel we delivered a powerful statement ironically teaching parents manners.
Updated Jul 14 ·

You forgot Chijindu Ujah

He competed in the men's 100m finals

Wikipedia has him as British, we all know he is Nigerian but if he was a criminal now they won't hesitate to label him Nigerian

An0nimus:
8-9 change light bulbs? no, can't do

Not Nigerian kind of bulbs, the table lamp or standing lamp kind of bulbs. The OPs list is for Oyibo children. At 7 years I was the official dishwasher of the house.

Sigh
Plagiarism again

davide470:
That's my girl!!

Your girlfriend is a woman of gold?

Convince her to do a court marriage and church blessing. You do not need much for church blessing, just take away snacks wrapped in a bag will do. She can even get to wear a wedding dress if she wishes. Let her know that things will not always remain like this and in a few years, you can give her a fabulous renewal of vows with the kind of ceremony she dreams of. Although to be honest, if it were me, I would not agree o...that's why I am saving money for my own dream wedding to avoid stories that touch. Your Fiancee may be a woman of gold and may not mind the sacrifice.

As for your inlaws, package the money you would have used for the wedding and give it to them codedly. Forget that list, all they want is money.

These people sha, they forget that they will still need some financial help from you years from now. They will scream and shout because of the little 200k they want to eat today, forgetting that you may be worth millions tomorrow.

Why not just play loud music that will either drown out the sound of your sexual escapades or the sound of your mother in law's voice. Although, if it were me, the purpose of the music would be to drown out the sound of mama's voice.

That is India for you.
Degrees are very important to them and show your eligibility as a bachelor

The physics guru! This boy knows physics ehn..

Lol...

Boys that can't handle boss ladies.

My relationship with my immediate younger sister is wonderful, she is like my best friend coz she totally gets me. Growing up as kids, we used to fight a lot but now we are just cool.

Nigeria 3-0 Germany

How will you claim to love someone and yet embarrass them in public like this?

What's all this drama?
Why not just hire a maid?

I did something like this when I was younger and growing up in Calabar. I was about 6 years old, I took the young chick that belonged to my neighbour and placed it into an abandoned desk In front of my house. I have no idea why I did that but of course the little chick died of suffocation. The owner approached me days later and gently told me the consequences of what I had done and advised me not to do it again. It's been years and I still feel guilty.

Why not sit both of them down and tell them that you would like them to discuss between themselves to decide when mama can come to the house so you can plan your family time and business accordingly. Be very serious about this and let them know there is no room for negotiation. If mama will be coming last Saturday of every month or every 6 weeks that will be fine by you because you want to be conducting business from your house. You have to do this quickly because by the time your wife gets pregnant, she will move in with you.