₦airaland Forum

I have at least 1 close friend (who is always complaining lol) who is a federal doctor.

It's like you'll have to define 'close' because differences of 200,000 and 50,000 are both 'close'.

And thank you for your service as a Nigerian doctor still in Nigeria!

ogbuefi677:
doctors join the service from an equivalent of level 13 with lots of heavy allowances like call duty,teaching allowance,etc which gives em an edge far above their counterparts in mainstream civil service.I've gone for one promotion and due for another next year.
And I said 'close to half a milli

Lol. Nna i know how you feel. By the time they convert it to dollars, they be looking like they're poor.

Na you abi your mum wey dey earn the half mil. if you never reach 35 I dey wonder how you go don already climb to that level.

I know how much Directors earn. :/ and no Director I know is under 45. -_-

ogbuefi677:
Month.
Federal Min of Health.
Mum,lecturing,will retire soon sef

But d money no reach to chop isi ewu 'porously' shaa

It's not a question of lack.

Some people have principles and I think it'd be good to use fundamental principles when taking milestone decisions.

Personally, bride price, especially when steep, is selling one's child. The worst part is that a lot of the money is not even for the immediate family of the bride but for those useless uncles that only remember you when you want to marry.

Even more, it seems (based on some published peer reviewed legal papers), that while bride price is not necessarily unconstitutional, stopping a marriage because of bride price is definitely unconstitutional.

In fact, your father cannot force you to marry someone or forcefully refuse a marriage proposal on your behalf. Those questions have been answered by the Nigerian Supreme Court.

Personally, I don't know what I'd do if faced with a bride list that seems like sale of cattle. I'm scared that I'd have to refuse to marry based on these yeye principles.

There's always the option of my partner and I marrying through the court or having a common-law partnership. Legally, there'd be no difference. Maybe some family members will frown at us bucking the customs but no be their life.

zangaozanga:
you nor get money you wan go marry.

You mean half a million a year or month because it takes quite a bit to earn that in civil service.

Except it's a university and you're more than a senior lecturer so please explain.

ogbuefi677:
lolz.
I'm one of the few Nigerians who earn a miserable close to half a million as salary from fed govt,yet mum earns more than me ,pops na d original chairman
Where they wan start to get time to look my wife?house is big,them wey dey upstairs,na if you go up to meet them or jam them on their way out una yo greet
Na small small vegetables and fish them de chop nowadays so choice of food etc no go ever bring quarrel.
Each of them get 1 spare car,if my family travel home b4 me during xmass,I send one car home for them b4 they arrive as I have another I use,where quarrel wan start from my sister?
All my siblings are all living away from my state so my parents are always more than happy to see any member of the nuclear family.
My sister,pray to God and hustle ooo.
Na poverty and extreme lack be d root of all quarrel and this una negative mindset.

A bit strange to reduce all women to their genital organ.

I know a lot of people, women included, do that but a higher thinking man like you should do better na.

Timbers:
Hahaha any day u hear I'm getting married just know I've either being hypnotized or it's my lookalike

Marriage doesn't favor men it's just a lifeline for old hags who spent their time banging their youth away

And why marry one vagina person when a lot of vagina people are out there

And by the way to hell Vagina people

Those 2 statements seem contradictory.

Bride price is used to measure self worth and worth of husband (which is also sometimes an extension of self worth: "I'm so awesome that I could attract a person of this 'calibre' and get them to commit, that's for sure.

Should it? No.

Bride price is not the only thing used to measure, size/style of wedding is also used by some.

This is not a woman problem, it is a societal problem.

bukatyne:
I don't think women really see brideprice as a measure of their worth.

If there was no bride price, they would measure their worth on something else.

Because there are no psychos in church or work or club or...?

Hathor5:
Faithfulnse,
I will warn you like a sister. Online dating is very risky and NL dating is risky times 10. There are many psychos here. Please be very careful. It would be much better to ask your family and friends to introduce you to potential suitors.

Only red flag is multi level marketing.

I'm doing well for myself at least I never go hungry. I'm into a small business that helps. I'm also in my 3rd year in school. I'm a model. I'm also into multi level marketing. I'm currently learning fashion design and French. My family takes care of my son. He's fair and chubby,you'll love him so easily. I'm sincere enough.

�

CsRockefeller:
I think I'm interested but how about your schooling and education?

Is Your child a male or female?

OP, me, did not make a commentary on the post.

Also, OP is from Opobo with an Igbo grandma and both parents born in Igbo land.

donstan18:
Tell me that an e-diotic non-Igbo isn't the one trying to troll the Igbo tradition with those screenshots and I'll tell you that you're the most stupid person to ever grace this earth.

We, the Igbos don't give a flying or crawling fvck about what you lots think about our tribe when it comes to marriage and the tradition surrounding it.

If you fvcking think our women ain't worth it, kindly switch to a particular tribe where you can marry their women with just red oil of N100 and Ghana pepper of N70.

We don't care! Las las after ranting, you'll logout, sell your lands, leave your women and come down to Igbo land to marry with the money.

IgboBabesAmakaFc
AchalugoFc
UgoezeFc
ElewaUkwuEgbuoEwuFc
AsampeteNwanyiOmaFc

The people who seem to advocate doing away with it are older women.

Younger women are usually brainwashed to see the price as a measure of their worth:

"Get a master's so your bride price will go up"

"Learn how to cook so your bride price will go high"

"Go abroad so your bride price will increase"

These "jokes" are conditioning.

bukatyne:
Bride price is a male tradition:

Most women are for the abolishing of BP because of its connotation and the fact that husbands have used it for ages to bully their wives.

This is not about what I prefer, it is about the reality on ground.

Lol. People be dishing what they can't eat.

Show them pepper! If they yab, yab back!

Chii59:
Lol. Yeah right.
You say women are stupid, I only reminded you that the first woman in your life, your mom must have been quite stupid for you to come to such a conclusion.
Simple.

If his mom loves him, she will be the one to push him out.

When she married her own husband, would she have wanted to move into his parents house. Lol.

Chii59:
You dey mind all these alpha males?
The op sister's ex is a mummy's boy. We've seen it here in nairaland. Lady move into husband's parents house, they make her life miserable (even if they don't, no privacy). Husband promises to rent an apartment months after wedding. Years after, two, three children later, still living with parents.
It is not good. If he loves his mom so much, he can rent a house a stone's throw from hers.

This is how they will accuse you of sexual assault.

Test of faith after the marriage?

Nuttella:
Nothing beats privacy but cancelling wedding plans is her going too far.


My cousin lived with her mother in law and father in law for one year+, till they finally decided to gift them their own house, it could be a test of faith.

My guy should rent a small apt. His mom should assist unless she wants to be controlling him like remote.

Truvel:
Ur Sister Is A Fool. I Would Advise Dat U Advise Her 2 Accept D Marriage Proposal. She Should Excercise Patience, Otherwise She Would Regret.

Which is WHY he should leave his mother and cleave to his wife.

It is in the Bible sef for all those Bible followers.

sexy74:
Your sister never ready marry.
She should try and know the reason why the guy wants it that way and try to reach a compromise.
The guy has known his mother all his life and there might be a strong bond between both of them., she cannot just come and destroy it because he wants to marry her.
That your sister will chase the guys family from him.

Your sister has pride let her keep it to herself .

Check well, the idiot behind this moniker may be married with kids. Don't follow this crazy 'advice'.

Timbers:
The man shouldn't be a SIMP and do what the entitled old hag wants he should dump her ass as quickly as possible

Don't know why SIMPs still view marriage as something important when it clearly favors women

MAY THE PATRIARCHY RULE

Your sister is doing HER right thing.

And frankly, I fully support her. I've told my gf that my opinion is no family visit (where they sleep) for the first 6 months minimum.

OluwaLina1:
Is My Sister Doing The Right Thing? Please Your Advice Is Needed

Advice needed
Don't mind my typo errors.

My sister cancel her wedding plans all because her husband to~be insists they are going to be living with his mum after the wedding before they will build their own house.

Now,my sister said she won't go on with the wedding plans if he didn't rent an appartment, even if it's face-me-i-slap-you room,she will be okay with it,she won't even mind if the mother come to spend days with them.

Is my sister doing the right thing?

I think someone warned of this. A LOT of schools are utterly dependent on recent graduates for learning.

There are no teachers anywhere. Many of those employed by the state ministries are completely indoor at many subjects. The teachers who are capable find their way to federal secondary schools, higher institutions private schools and the administrative part of the education ministries.

Yes.
- normalizes lack of love in a marriage
- frustration could be taken out on children
- may affect productivity in work
- likelihood of mental breakdown
- children lose faith in the institution of marriage.

This road was built by SHELL not NDDC.

Don't be fooled.

Let them show us roads built by NDDC contractors.

Have you ever had a steady relationship?

When you join this new guy and a new guy with "better qualities" comes along, what will happen then?

That account has almost no tweets. Might be fake.

That video was clearly child abuse.

I think we're seriously desensitized to abuse in we country.

Hathor5:
It is horrifying that Nigerians are not moved by the child's despair and fear. As much as I also think that is highly questionable to film how you discipline your child to put it up on social media, I am more appalled by the cries of the child. I don't want to know the amount of abuse this boy has already suffered, which is the reason why he reacts the way he does. It's sad that Nigerians consider it normal/funny/entertaining but not surprising. They grew up suffering various forms of abuse and consider it normal.

I think so. It's not just fattening though.

And these things are rarely practised these days.

IamDavids:
Do they have fattening rooms like the Ibibio?

I think it would be harsh to term this harassment because I don't think the lady knowingly led him on.

However, what the lady did is immature and what she has to do is insensitive but necessary.

I feel sorry for the guy and for the girls whose hearts he may break to recover.

dairykidd:
Just imagine.. after setting him up to fall u want let am knack face fo tarred road. Teasing and playing with a grown man's emotions just for fun. Now him done finally fall u dey ask advise

Is this not harassment... non physical harassment in a place of work. That guy should sue for damages

This went left real quick.

andyanders:
Don't mind that lady. This shld be the right way 'cus 90% of ladies carries a burdden that will be on the man's nake till death.

A man is the engine of a home. A lady should be the one to kneel down and not the man. Good one young lady. May you enjoy ur marriage.

If (hopefully when) an approach works, it is nobody's business.

Will schools enquire as to how they got married when they try to register their children?

I applaud her initiative. I only hope that she continually works on herself, husband or not.

placeofallure:
A very pretty lady once slid into my husband's private account and was offering herself, not to him of course. She said she knew he's married, she was only wondering if he had friends like him who are still bachelors. She's been shortchanged many times, she's tired and she just wants to settle down.

Clap for yourself.

WILLuKPquiet:
My fan

Finding out about me.

Having a madman as a fan for the first time. So fascinating.
You can pull your popsy and mumsy join. I know you inherited it from them. Having three mad people as fans would be more fascinating.

Same Nigeria that most people's parents come from o.

Mumu is not a default Nigerian characteristic

TheArchangel:
You have entered the see finish period.
The period of power tussle to know who will bend the most.
Please, thou shall not bend more than you should. Marriage is supposed to upgrade your self-esteem not downgrade it.

If your husband is always yapping about submissiveness over trifle issues like this, I'd suggest you keep your mouth shut because he is not your friend or soulmate but a NIGERIAN HUSBAND. You can only blab about anything when you are married to your friend.
Reference the Bible when you do good deeds by keeping your mouth shut.

He should stop those ridiculous threats.

However, we only have one side of the story.

Amopeekun:
I beg to differ. She is the problem?! A woman wants to increase her home through her spirituality and her prudent nature and you say she is the problem? Many men would want to marry such women to keep and manage their homes. Suddenly a divorce threat is a normal thing to cow women into submission. Haa! What won't we see in marriage? Abeg she is not the problem sir.
Someone knocks on my door to complain of hunger and i have enough to spare. Suddenly, i remember my husband will divorce me o of i help. So, i just kukuma cowed into my shell and refuse to help.

My sister, your marriage is still very young o. Communicate with him. Put him in prayers, follow some nice advice up there and help people as much as you can without fear, but don't overburden yourself sha. If he doesn't like to hear that you are helping people, zip your mouth, let God be the Judge. Sit him down, listen, understand his fears and work with him with all sincerity. May God be with you.