₦airaland Forum

Till date, I don't know what the bolded means. This submission term is thrown around willy nilly without a clear definition of what it means. Abi are people talking about BDSM?

I think sometimes people are not truthful. They say what they think they should desire. What they have heard other people say is 'normal'.

Chii59:
The problem I have with some young adults is that they don't know what they want.
For every choice you make there are Pros and Cons.
For example, the advantage of dating an independent woman is that she's bringing something to the table.
On the flip side, that independent side of her will never allow her to be fully submissive. She has seen life, probably gone through different men, and is most likely around late 20s and above.

On the other hand, a young, docile 19 year old is younger, maybe prettier but most likely jobless.
You're going to have to spend on her.
She may or may not question your moves, but then she hasn't really experienced life. She might even be childish.

The problem is that a lot of young men (in this case) want to HAVE IT ALL.
An independent yet submissive, woman who pays her fair share of the bills and has no problem obeying whatever he says.
You can't have it all.

Husband and wife are the head.

Don't marry somebody you are sexually incompatible with.

Marriage is a partnership for, among other things, mutual advancement.

ume1000:
What then is marriage to the man

Is it slavery to the woman's need ?
Does he have to beg the woman for sex?

Who then is the head of the home the man or the woman?

Do NOT go for women who offer little to nothing.

Go for women who want to be partners. You yourself should want a real partnership.

Don't say you want independent women who want equality and then try and take all the space in the relationship.

Like the confused guy who wanted his wife to leave the oil job paying 3 times his own salary in Lagos to come and join him in PH.

Rgade:
God bless all men out there that won't let themselves be fleeced of their hard earned money by these creatures with nothing but vagina and a huge sense of entitlement.
Those creatures aren't even qualified to be described with the adjective "stingy".

"Penis people"?

Zzor:
yes ooo, all this Penis people that we have around these days sef LMAO

Don't call her an olosho, there's already plenty to refute in her post.

Westernlove:
Lol I'm sure you will have multiple orgasms now as I've finally quoted your post olosho.......Go and repent and be good.......

Don't go for women you are incompatible with.

IT is not all or even most women who think, or more importantly ACT, like this.

yanabasee1:
Stingy how?




Women and their fishbrain....


You asked a man for something and he says he doesn't have it or he won't give you. You asked again the second and probably the third time and he gives the same answer and booom....He's stingy....


A woman told me that, if she's working and her man isn't giving her money for her upkeep and she is using her money then she's not in a relationship and will end such relationship. What nonsense...!!


If a woman go out and hustle and make her little money. shell begin to see men as trash and sees herself as a goddess.... If she manage buy car with her money, she'll ensure that social media will capture her to stupor.


Golddiggers everywhere....

Dan Lok is a SCAM!



https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yKk8fWgb5sI

There are bitter men and bitter women in Nigeria.

Abi does brokenness and disappointment in Nigeria only affect men?

Acting like human beings are not flawed is ridiculous, there are many women like Amber Heard.

If you are looking for rich men who are "red pillers", go read bout Leonardo di Caprio.

Finally? Every week someone makes this same post.

Positivechick:
someone finally said it

So this is how they will bamboozle Edo people juat like Osinbajo did. Okay o

My guy said Shakira's boyfriend.

Sanchez01:
The humiliation of Barcelona at the hands of Bayern prior to the match last night was imminent as there had been signs all through the just-ended La Liga (LL) campaign. What the world didn't know was how bad the humiliation would be.

And while it seems like the perfect 'cruise' to blame Messi for disappearing in the game and even compare him to Ronaldo in those kinds of moments, Messi is not in any way responsible for the result. Rather, the club's president's philosophy is responsible and if anyone were to leave, it should be him. Below are my 5 reasons:

1. A Dying La Masia

La Masia means "The Farm House", in Spanish and it is the dubbed name for the once-famed Barcelona youth academy. The Farm House where raw talents were handpicked into the Barcelona first team produced the likes of Mikel Arteta, Luis Garcia Sanz, Cesc Fabregas, Thiago Motta, Gerard Pique, Sergio Busquets, Carles Puyol, Pep Guardiola, Andres Iniesta, Xavi Hernandez, and Lionel Messi himself.

The La Masia, at some point, made one of the top 3 best football academies in the world, falling behind Santos and Ajax youth system. While Madrid, through Florentino Perez pursued the "Galacticos" (meaning 'superstars'; a philosophy that only expensive world-class footballers will only be signed to Real Madrid) era, Barcelona youth system excelled and held the world spellbound, season after season, Real Madrid's first "Galacticos" project failed and Perez was fired. Some of the world's biggest names emerged through Barcelona's youth rank, playing a compact football style known in the academy known as the tiki-taka. Johan Cruyff, as a coach would only go ahead to adopt the style, making him one of Barcelona's most successful managers.

About 18 years after Messi progressed through the youth rank, Barcelona and Real Madrid have gone in opposite directions. While Madrid now look towards developing players from its youth rank, Barcelona has been neck-deep in signing talented superstars who are either oblivious to the club's style of play or unnecessarily surplus to requirement in the team. Ibrahimovic, Henry, Dembele, Griezmann, Vidal, Philippe Coutinho, Frenkie de Jong, the list is endless.

With an aging and declining first team, only a few promising players have managed to get noticed in the team while Madrid keep looking inward and churning out more footballers from its youth rank. The problem? Barcelona's president believes big names are the answer.

2. Aging Messi

An aging Messi isn't the problem and he isn't responsible for this. It is nature's call which must be answered. The problem here is the total reliance and dependence on one of the world's finest footballers who is being treated like aging is a sin. A club with a foresight will know better that what brought about dominance at some point isn't the Messi factor but a fluid midfield which the likes of Iniesta, Xavi and Busquet provided. Sadly, since their departure, Barcelona has invested more in defenders and forwards, leaving the midfield to God.

Meanwhile, Real Madrid, Barcelona's arch-rival have found it convenient to sit out maestros such as Kroos and Modric conveniently in games. Barcelona is one of the world's biggest clubs reputable for horrible signings.

3. The Backline Factor

Although Shakira's boyfriend has hinted he'll be the first to leave should the board decides to ax certain players, the stunt is all but a psychological attempt. Pique is worn out, old, and out of ideas. Already, he is incapable of stopping quick 'feety' footballers compared to his sworn subtle rival, Sergio Ramos. Those who were fixated on the match against Bayern Munich would have seen how Alba never stopped panting, mostly in the second half. Although the tradition with old age and defense is that you get better as you age. This can be seen in Ramos who is undoubtedly the world's finest defender even though the heart of his man can be desperately wicked.

The four backline of the team is worn and torn, even with the introduction of new blood who are mostly MIA due to injury. Barcelona needs to look inward and focus on replacing Pique, mostly. There are old but amazing defensive midfielders who can play at the back that have been hinted of exits in certain clubs (whispers P*S*G).

4. The Fear of Messi

The fear of Messi is probably what led to this disaster in the first place, from not liking a particular coach, to the fear of leaving and must be pleased mindset. The president and the club have been pawns in the hands of Messi for too long and they must wrestle themselves from his grip.

Messi is the only player in the team who will hit back at any executive who dare blames the team or criticize their lackluster performances on the pitch. Messi has been known to challenge the club's hierarchy not on the field, not among the players but on Instagram when one of the top dogs blame the team for something. The resulting effect is mostly accompanied by a sack, reshuffled positions, and more importantly, an increase in his wage. When Messi took to blasting the sporting director, Eric Abidal in February, many sports houses guessed there was something at play. Of course, it was political and Messi knew it. Getting to win the presidential election at FCB means having Messi as your best friend. What many players would take sticks for, Messi would do conveniently while the corporate guys fall over themselves to either retract their statements, apologize or instantly increase Messi's paycheck.

As a player, you might not necessarily need to be talented. If Messi likes you and wishes for you to remain at Barcelona, it will remain so except you wish to go on your accord.

This power is dangerous. Anyways, Eric Abidal is set to be sacked after 'defending' Setien. Could it be that he is about to be axed for criticizing the team in February

5. An Aging Team

Madrid has stood on this spot Barcelona is standing now and understand what will eventually become of them when their first team retire and fall out like a domino. While this is hinged on the failure of the club's executive in focusing on the Farm House, the after effect will be devastating and will paint a similar picture of Barcelona's LL final matchday that saw Osasuna beat them. Barcelona themselves have been in this position before, particularly after Puyol, Xavi and Iniesta left.

Unfortunately for the club, the after effect will be felt, and for a long time should Messi exit the team. It is however not too late to start focusing on bringing in talented youngsters. Right now, Madrid is reveling in the glory of its talented youths right now that some of them (notably Kubo, Hakimi, and Odegaard) have all been loaned out while the others jostle for starting places. As a matter of fact, Zidane confused the world after the restart by changing his first 11 per game in order to unburden them. Barcelona might not have the understanding to replicate this right now but the idea of a legendary footballer who is now at the "Messi" (pun intended) of the team and a laughing stock to the world is unfair and mismanaged.

They have come again this early sunday morning.

Ford was married, Currie was married, even Einstein was married.

iyke926:
"I do not think you can name many great inventions that have been made by married men."
Tesla

Na ad

Chii59:
I don loss.
Guy, what's your point?

The sacrifices won't be equal in every instance but there's something fundamentally wrong if only 1 person is making sacrifices all the time.

Chii59:
Even in making sacrifices, it's not always 50-50 at a time. Sometimes 70-30, 20-80. And so on. The only problem is where only one person is making the bulk of the sacrifices to keep the relationship afloat. Sometimes you go out of your way to do something that otherwise you won't do just for peace.

Bia did you cheat on her?

Also funny how the first thing you wrote is that if she doesn't come back in 1 week, you don't care if she sees you with a babe?

Hmm.

Rtk5:
You're very very right... But she has tried a lot too in being the fool & making it work. Right now I don't know whats in her mind. Could she have gotten over the marriage

Still reading the thread but it sounds like a secondary school breakup. No communication, only forming.

Chii59:
The young man and his wife are a hell of two stubborn people o

There are marriages wherein the partners see themselves as equal and work for their mutual benefit/propulsion.

When one of my uncle and aunty married as medical students, they both made sacrifices. I have NEVER seen them argue, and I have stated with them several times.

They didn't build or rent a big house when they could so that aunty could specialise. When uncle got a uni job, they stayed in a small apartment while their mates were building 2 houses.

They are now both senior doctors at the highest levels of medical service with all the luxury that comes with that.

They also both came from 'rich' families with aunty's dad being super rich yet they both sacrificed and worked together.

You don't always have to stoop low. You don't have to accept one sided relationships.

GraGra247:
In all marriages that work, one person always stoops low and bears a lot of the brunt. The other partner eventually learns to reciprocate or even may not. I mean all marriages that work.

In the posters marriage nobody wants to stoop low.

Perfect reason why many marriages eventually fail.

Call her dad? Did he marry her dad?

When did these communication problems start? Or was this always the case?

Deffjam:
u better don't call her 'yet' but i will advice you to call her dad and explain to him don't explain as if you are begging oo.....explain like you are telling him let ur voice be loud and clear.

I feel you.

I think for many many people, the church is the major or only community they have.

Blackpearlous:
It's not easy, I'm female and atheist, but I try to make it clear from the onset before things gets serious.


The only thing I enjoy is that I am not against religious topics or let alot of people know I am a free thinker. I relate with people as humans not as religious folks.


I can go for a church meeting (my family doesn't even know I'm atheist, I still attend morning devotion and all). I dont let it define my relationship.

The world's a big place, if we can't all live together with the many different views we have, wahala go plenty!

Chii59:
My beliefs are altogether different from yours entirely. Nevertheless... Its all good

I don't think Buddhism has those limitations unlike the other more structured religions.

Inter-religious partnerships/marriages; like inter-tribal/racial relationships are not uncommon, including in Nigeria.

The west is replete with this including people like Fashola & I believe Tinubu. In the SS/SE, what is more common is a situation where the mom raises the kids in the church while the dad doesn't go or doesn't go often.

Also, I think there is a difference between cultural Christianity and religious Christianity. So there are some people who do not believe or believe "strongly" but still consider themselves Christian.

Chii59:
Not just Christianity. Not just churches. Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism etc. Its the same. Similar beliefs brings people together as it has for millenias. If for example, I marry an atheist, I can be sure that my children will not grow up in a religious setting. The question is "do I want that?"
I don't. But someone else may not mind.

Just do NOT limit yourself.

I've met some Nigerians who limit themselves to the pool of other Nigerians in their part of their city.

I think it would be better to be open to dating everyone: Nigerians, other Africans, Asians, Europeans, etc.

It isn't a badge of honour.

I raised the thread because I know that many churches preach very strongly about being "unequally yoked".

When I was a Christian and following the standard, accepted doctrines, it is not advised (read wrong) to marry someone who isn't Christian. Some churches don't even want you to marry an "outsider" #brotherlylove.

WakeNbaked:
Don't wear it as an identify or to define your personality, basically don't be asshole and flow with everyone.

There have been atheist for thousand of years, your choice of believe/unbelieve is not original don't wear it like some batch of honor.

Be excellent to one another.

I don't use any specific terms.

I don't believe the Bible is "God's word".

The Christian religion(s) which is supposed to follow this Bible is anything to everybody, too materialistic and does not prioritize human beings in the here and now.

Chii59:
Are you an atheist?

Nigeria has ~200 million residents

There are plenty of non religious people in we country. And that's before we count the non religious who (sometimes) attend church.

NiCurious:
Atheists and agnostics in Nigeria are far and few between. Cooooooks, you're part time in Montreal, you will have better luck there!

Yes. Seun work on this please!

Chii59:
Can I like this post 1000 times?

Yeeahh, because no married couples have cheats? And no short distance relationship peeps cheat.

What if she gets a big job or contract that needs her away from home for a week?

What if one of them gets a scholarship to school abroad?

Cheaters will be cheaters, long distance or short.

frozen70:
He is just your boy friend and you don't know if he will propose to you

If you keep going to visit him especially on weekends, will he cater for you transportation

If you stop working just to be with him, life will be more difficult

You know what, just accept it the way it is and behave as if nothing is happening

Always make sure he uses condom on you

Notify him whenever you want to come so that you don't witness anything that will hurt you more and don't be surprise if he tells you that he won't be around that period

If you can't kill yourself, let him go and you too will start searching near by

Once it's still boy friend and girl friend matter, without any commitment, it is like a gambling game

You sef will want to be banging the kind of 'pussy' that opens wide at the mere sight of a car??

Na only mentally inferior women do that, either because they're too young or too mentally poor.

Slawormir:
Damnnnnn niggarrr
Isoright
You dey see them
That is why i keep on saying to my real niggarrrz don't start doing love and relationships with this vagina people..they are not loyal...
Just manage to buy a ride (car) and watch how you bang pussy anyday anytime twice on Tuesday
Immediately you buy that car
Then see them as swimming pool
Just go in and swim your own

don't give a fuckkkkk if the swimming pool have never been used
don't give a fuckkk who have been swimming before you started swimming
don't give a fuckkkkk who will swim after you are done swimming your own
And don't give a fuckkkkk who is even swimming with you as you are swimming
just swim your own sharpely and move on.
Real niggarrrz bang pussy and move on.

How do you solve that?

Don't make marriage a do or die affair. And make it very clear that you both have to remain compatible. Make it clear that if there is prolonged bitterness, regardless of who is at fault, either of you can and should leave.

Promzyunique:
Men really suffer alot in marriage... alot to endure...from this ladies.....alot of mess oozing from them...the worst part is before you marry them...how they will be acting angelic...fiaaam once you marry them.... automatically within the next 24hrs ... everything changes....why?? Cos they feel they have arrived......try to take this up to the next level...they will be the first to play the victims card...just to attract undeserved pity

Yet another reason why a serious couple must spend time together before trying the knot.

Honestly, I do not see what the big deal is. You guys are just getting to know each other.
It also seems like you're taking these things as a big deal while she is not.

Are you scared? Why make a big scene of not eating, the minute you see the toothpaste, crack joke about how you don't need more fluorine in your food abeg.

How are you only noticing these things now? These iss

manos:
Note: it's a bit long... I could have summarized but I want those contributing to get a crystal clear picture of the situation, so that they can give better and specific advice.

The major problem here is that she mixes up things to be done in the kitchen with things done only in the toilet.

I have been married to my wife for over a year now (no kids yet) and there are certain unhygienic habits she has been displaying, since we started living together. I have been seeking ways to help her improve on it, but a calm correction from me always leads to a bitter argument between us. (She claims I complain too much whenever I point it out)

For example, she always clears her throat early in the morning and spits in the kitchen sink. (despite the fact that we have 2 toilets with wash hand basins; one in the room and also a guest toilet, with a wash-hand basin which is basically 3 steps from the kitchen). Then she goes to the bathroom, gets her toothbrush and comes back to the kitchen to brush her teeth, while doing several things with toothpaste and saliva drooling from her mouth all through.

The other day, she prepared breakfast (spaghetti) for both of us with the drooling toothpaste mouth and i refused to eat from it. I didn't complain to her either, until she asked why I didn't take my portion of the spaghetti from the pot, later that evening. I mentioned to her that, as always I find it disgusting to eat spaghetti, seasoned with toothpaste drool and saliva. The response I got from her was a hiss and then she said that, next time I should inform her if I am not going to eat the food she cooked so that she would not cook for me."

I let that slide but I felt she missed the point. The next day was her birthday and I decided to prepare breakfast for her.
While I was in the kitchen cooking, she came in with the same drooling toothpaste mouth to take a kitchen Scissors in order to cut something on her pants, even though we have another scissors in the room for such purposes. In the process of trying to pick the scissors, her hands which were covered with toothpaste drool had to cross the pot which I was cooking with. I mentioned to her that I was not comfortable with that and she just hissed as usual, still picked the Scissors and left the kitchen while angrily saying that I am just a complainer. I lost it at this point and proceeded to give her a lecture in anger about basic hygiene and why I can not keep quiet over these things because we live in a shared space and how her actions have a direct effect on me. It ended in a shouting match till she kept quiet, without accepting she was wrong.

This is the pattern almost everything takes when I try to correct her. The worst part is that I would still have to be the one to apologize for shouting at her because if I don't, I might be subjected to a week long silent treatment which I dread.

There are other more unhygienic things that are done by her, which I might not be able to post here due to the fact that I am not completely anonymous and she is still my wife but I hope this information is enough for someone to understand my frustration and profer a solution.

No such thing in the constitution.

Constitution does not delegate wedding ceremony duties na my broda.

cicodeblazzer:
@cooooooks my broda, its not about been constitutionally or not...how many people still abide by constitution 2day? Constitutionally, groom and family handle list while bride and family handle feeding and decoration....are u not seeing grooms been told now that, feeding and decoration is still on them despite the long lists( that in some places, still contain items for such feeding and decorations)?