₦airaland Forum

At how much??

She's asking for live and direct sperm donor.

Moh247:
When there's IVF and sperm donor

Warn her never to have such desperate thought in your house again or you may marry another wife and move on

I feel for them.

Eriokanmi:
This story might sound fake but it happens. Tell your wife to present the case to God. Both of you must be involved in this. Not every case requires medical solutions

I'll be honest, some women who say this have the best of intention and mean no disrespect or harm. Especially if there's pressure from family to conceive.

I hope you guys have open communication. As she has asked like this, she may be thinking of you trying with another woman as well, just to confirm that neither of you have fertility issues.

This is strange. I personally would not consider it but I have no disrespect for those who would.

Onepointfiveodds:
I really do not know who to talk to rn and this has been disturbing me. I am so confused rn.

Our marriage is less than a year, we are not pregnant yet and my wife sat me down to discuss the issue last week. She said i should allow her try with another man outside our marriage to see if she will be pregnant. I asked if she's asking for a divorce and she said no, she wants to try with another man while still married to me.

Why she'll come up with something like that and even had the guts to tell me still baffles me. We've gone for series of tests in a space of 7months and nothing seems to be wrong with me.

I just can't keep the discussion out of my head. I'm so scared for her rn and i dont know what to do.

The funny thing is that I don't disagree. Not just on the discomfort or inconvenience front. Also, it is usually better care when there are professionals, opportunity to socialize, etc.

However, a hard rule, with the threat of divorce, needs to be stated clearly from the get go. Especially by some people who then change the rules when the shoe's on the other feet.

Samantha123:
I will.

And I'd advice you to never bring your mother into your matrimonial home to live with you guys too if you want to enjoy your marriage with your wife and have peace of mind.

We women in general have issues, whether young or old.

That is perfectly fine to be your red line. Hopefully, you communicate these red lines before marriage.

Samantha123:
I'll sign those divorce papers with pleasure.

The issue is that he'll bring his mother into the house and expect me to take care of her, if her condition gets worse and she dies under my care, his family will start accusing me of killing her when they wanted nothing to do with her when she was still alive and sick.

They can even manage to convince my husband to kick me out of the house.

So, I've made a choice to never look after anyone else's mother.. If she has daughters, she should go to them.. but if she only has sons, then the sons will have to make a plan.

Be wise. No be everytime you confront.

Talk regularly but not for hours on end (except at night).

Give instructions a few times a week. Not asking o, instructions.

Say I love you. If you haven't been saying it so much, build up to it.

Be working on your plans once you land.

Every day must have a purpose.

Try to make friends with people. If your wife is a social butterfly, she will be miserable without the interaction.

Wife, gf, friend, hang up on me?

Na wa o. Is this a regular occurence?

Was she haughty in Nigeria? While dating? etc? My guess is yes but you said (or were told) : "na so women dey o"

kbower:
Hi Nlanders

We all know no marriage is all that smooth and rosey, we all that are in it have challenges here and there, and for almost 11 years now, out of tolerance, ruggedity, minding my business in terms of taking care of the family have always been something that has held my marriage down, because the majority of the issue I have with my wife have always been issues of trust, transparency, accountability, respect and loyalty. Some people will say with these things I have listed, that I may be asking for too much, but I can tell whoever would reason that way that its not too much because am a responsble father/husband that have never for once strayed the family in anyway that will make me lack any of the above stated qualities a man can enjoy from a wife.

Why am I here? Ok..after enduring so much for 11 years, we are relocating to the UK, she is the main applicant, myself and the 3 children are dependants, she traveled first, leaving myself and the 3kids behind until she can secure accomodation b4 we leave. I have heard about countless incidences of how SOME women treat their husbands and the POWER zoned to women in that country which makes it almost impossible for a man with a wife that gives him constant problem to be able to thrive in that country.

I just want to state three peculiar incidences that occured during her 1month stay over there that is already making me feel I have alot to face over there, though I know my God is bigger than anything, I just want people that are over there, or people that are experienced here and all over who are capable of handing a good advise for me on getting there to know how I can fare and withstand what is to come.

Based on the above from the major incidences I have experienced with her, first two weeks of being there, she had gone to check a house b4 heading to school, on her way back to school, she claimed she didnt take enough money and going back home might not be possible,I asked how she would wanna go about it
and she replied saying I will borrow money from Mr Mike, a man she just met at school on her first day of registeration, I was like thats wrong, you dont form familiarity with someone you just met in another mans country, i said I will call la friend in liverpool to send you money and u could get ur train ticket, she fumed, but I stood my ground and said thats how its going to be. I have asked her to collect a friends account details, since she has not opened an account yet, she said when her class finishes by 8.30pm she'll request details from her friend so the money can be sent. Fast forward to closing period, I messaged her to send me details, she ignored, I called ad she said nobody has an account that I should not worry she will sort herself, i was now like you just got to that country, u have no friends that u know too well to rely on, I am ur hubby and I opened a way for u to get money easily, yet u didnt make any effort to redeem the opportunity, omo she hung up on me then later called back that she gathered few pennies she had to get the ticket, I was now like why didnt u just say this instead of putting me on pressure over how to get money to convey u all the way from london to luton, over an hour journey at night. Secondly, on her next school day, she had previously told me prior to her closing hours that her data has finished and shes using schools wifi, that the moment she steps out from school to head home, she wont be having access to internet, etc whatsapp and all of that, but importantly was to make use of gps google map, thats what people over there use to navigate their way in order not to get lost, I was like without internet how do u intend to get to ur destination when u know how stressful it was for u getting lost the other day, now the same statement she made was, I will sort myself , I was raged and said woman I will ask my friend to buy u data so u can get home easy and safe, she said no proble, that shes leaving now, I said well since i wont be able to reach you on whats app, I will definitely call you on normal call shortly to give you the data pin to load. She said no P and hung up. Moments later, my friend had sent me the data pin, na so I begin dey call wifey oo, over 15 missed calls she nor pick. Later she called back and said her phone was in her laptop bag and her hands were frozen so she couldnt put hands in the bag to pick the call and that she didnt even hear it ring.

The issue I posted up there are issues of not being accountable, and attitude of not showing that you dont need me when its not just about that but for security and your well being knowing fully well you are new in the country and proper guidelines needs to be taken.

Another incident happened 3rd week after her arrival, we were video chatting while she was on a train station waiting for train, next thing I noticed was a guy sitting BEHIND her, the guy boldly took a peep into her phone directly, seemingly trying to see who she was on video call with, immediately i called her attention to it, she just smiled and looked back and said silently, nawa some people for this london nor go mind their business. This very day developed a story that transitioned towards few things I will be stating. The next sunday, I called her in the morin to say hi and all that, next thing I know she dun dey go church, she nor even discuss am with me and na wetin we dn agree on sey we fo jointly choose church wey we go dey go. After church service, she call me sey that guy wey i talk sey dey peep into her phone, sey the guy that very day asked her how long shes been there for, she said, just 3 weeks, sey how come she come take know road when him don dey 3months he nver know road, sey that same guy him coincidentally meet am for the new church wey she come so, sey the guy dey look am, she comot eye, but later the guy come meet am sey are u not the one that showed me way to where I was going. Sey as him meet the guy coincidentally for church, he fit be sey he get why, maybe for job connection or what not. I nor say anything, cos coincidences arent something new in this world. Then the next day, she call me sey that same guy needs an apartment, sey na married guy with 4 kids, but him wife and 1kid dey here, 3 dey nija them nor fit come yet until house is ready, sey him dey ask her if she can help him get someone that can reference for him to get a house, ha him my wife come dey ginger me sey make i help am talk to my friend wey help us reference if him go fit help the guy too. I come sey no problem, she sey she go call the guy now and put us on 3 way call, i sey no p, i come dey wait for call, no call come and madam nor talk again, i come ring her sey hafa u nor do the three way call again? She sey the guy dey work, him nor fit talk,sey she don give the guy my number to call me later, me come sey no p, send him number I go save am down so if he calls i go know sey na him, madam nor gree send number, I come dey wonder sey wetin dey sup sef, normally I nor spose reason ahead, but me my instict dey very strong, i come begin dey put two and two together sey maybe the guy intention was never to get help but to use style dey hit on my madam maybe na why him nor wan talk to me but wan use my madam dey take communicate. I come ask madam some some questions on previous ish, I come find out sey small lie dey, so I tackler her sey the way she take explain to me about how him meet the guy for train station nor join, she come vex sey me i come am liar, omo as we dey talk for whatsapp, i nor blv sey my madam added this guy to the call without my consent or my knowledge, so as I dey talk, the guy dey the background, i nor even know anything and the dude himself kept quiet, na after the call finish, I see am for call details sey the guy was added to the call, infact the dude even called me directky i nor pick. Now i got very angry, come call madam sey wetin dey sup, u added this dude wey talk sey him dey work him nor fit talk to the call wey me and u dey on and u didnt even notify me, ok lets agree sey if to sey u wan tell me sey u wan add the guy for call sey i nor go gree sey maybe na why u add am without my consent, at least after u add am secretly, u are suppose to talk and sey bae, since u are accusing me wrongly, i have added the guy to this call so he can clear me out, but she didnt, she just added the guy and the dude himself kept quiet and didnt say a word until I hung up. I got very furious and told her this is the highest level of see finish and dragging in the mud, wetin u want that guy to dey feel like now? She said shes sorry that she only wanted to clear herself, I was now like even if u wanted to clear urself, if that the best way to go about it, the person who is the subject matter is the best person u need to introduce to clear u out? Later on i just bone the matter come apologise sey make we move on, na so she come begin dey yarn plenty, sey she call the guy that my hubby said that the way we met is unreal, sey the guy sef come talk sey wow, so your husband already thinks am sleeping with you, but i cant blame u though, u know u have a big back side, so thoughts like that from him is likely not a surprise, i was hmmmm to hear that, i come tell madam sey if na true this guy talk this thing, shouldnt u already know he has corny itentions, she said well she too dey wonder cos the two times wey them meet she nor wear wetin fit show her bkside so how d guy come take know. The matter end there, next day madam still dey worry me sey shey I go still help d guy, I was like I cant even talk to him, u dun useless me already for him presence, she dey claim sey she nor do anything wrong by adding him to the call, sey the guy know of agency wey fit help me get better job if i arrive, and sey the guy talk sey if me fit connect am to my friend to reference am for house, him go link me up fr the agency. I talk sey i nor dey interested. Omo I weak. Guys I need advise on how to handle issues over there, cos me nor dey take nonsense for nija here, but for there, one needs to chill, but then should it now be sey because we dey live for country wey give woman power, make woman come use that opportunity come dey fumble?

Whether someone is knacking her or not. My wife says I'm irritating her? Why would we (still) be married?

BlackyOne:
Until someone start to knack her, and that's if someone or people have not started knacking her already

I wish I could buy you a beer for these wise words. I hope people read and digest.

MrBrownJay1:
desperation to be married at all cost makes a lot of people marry total strangers, and then when they finally realise who they married, its too late and they are stuck.

in Nigeria, marriage is synonymous with happiness, even if both spouse are miserable!

Mental cope. Your marriage is ebbing to finito.

Did you date her at all? Did you know who she was (and she who you were) before you guys tied the knot??

edunaragold:
After marriage a lot of people do expect thing to just be fine,they don't know, both couples have,another life challenges ahead of them, while some couples overcame their challenges another couples are planing to break up finally.

Since I discovered I married an Igbo Lady, and after one kid,I later learn were my mistake came from, my only mistake was that I did not set in mind another financial side were my wife would generate incomes, but am working on 3 ways i can generate petty petty income before my salary enters,no perfect marriage, but its how you use endurance to achieved the well beings of the marriage .a lot of times its after marriage that people realized their mistake despite all the marriage plans before the marriage.

When my wife started given me that attitude and excuses of am tired, leave me alone, pls stop, etc when I make advance at her, I tried to find out what is wrong, I called her attention to it politely, she told me that I was irritating her, so I quickly discovered an idle mind is the devils work shop, I tried my best in enrolling her in a catering school, she still continued in refusing me. I would pretend as if am forcing to rap her, but jokingly, she would scream rape!!! Playfully so I would stop.

Sometimes when I come back from work late or spend few times around while in the area, she would think I went to cheat, my wife is somebody that assumes especially when she saw u talking to any woman or greet, she would conclude in her heart that you guys may be dating.

After disturbing me that she wants to relocate to her own state so her business can flourish ,I called her mom to see if they can agree to it which she did, and after much advice from elderly men and woman I later came to my own finally conclusion after doing my + and - because not every advice one takes when seeking for advise ,I gave her some money to go spent time with her mom and what ever she decide she should let me know, I will be sending her some cash every months and the baby till she comes back to her senses.,they are now in the east and I stay in another state alone.

Na who sex help, another 3 ladies are disturbing to come visit me, but I decline them,I no wan cast my beloved marriage but soon i will answer them not now, especially now that am rushing and focusing to complete my house and put some tenant but all works and no play males jack a dull boy.

Now am more relaxed, marriage no b small thing o,its not a do or die affair ,don't kill your self for those you can't pls. A lot of woman change after having kids.

Since my wife left our conversion on phone is even better than when we stayed together. Sometimes you need to give a wife the opportunity to refresh them self as no woman wants to be tied own. Marriages get broken due to lack of refreshment, give your problem wife sense of refreshment, or let them miss you so they can know what they have.

Visa don land?

So many uneducated people are amazing people. Do not generalize.

You are an adult now so take steps to correct whatever wrongs may have been sown.

Sirchiboy:
I just have strong hate for them.
I envy siblings that have strong love for themselves but my evil parents planted seed of discord in us.
No love ever existed between us.
This is the result of what you get when a man marries an uneducated lady because of beauty.
So sad

Marriage na 2 of una don become one.

I detest this mindset. BOTH of you should care for each other's parents, if you both decide to care for them.

I see nothing wrong in divorcing over this elderly or ill parent (or other close relative) issue.

Samantha123:
If I bring my own mother over, it means I'll be the one taking care of her.

If the son will be the one taking care of his mother too, then he can bring her over.

I know a couple of PhD students in Nigeria who are working on papers/theses for elder care.

We have a handful of elder care homes but they lack money and can only take few people. We need massive investment in these. As health access increases, people will live longer. Not all will have children/families to go to. Some with families also can't go to them.

Samantha123:
The question is, who's gonna care for the mother when she finally comes to the house? her son, or her daughter-in-law

This has to be fake. Why are you writing this story like it is a novel. All these descriptive term Which one be ravenous upon teenage pregnancy?

I strongly urge you guys to take her to a secular clinic for advice. Bringing a child to this world, especially in Nigeria and with a boy as the father, may seriously impact her life.

Is there a job she can start doing...while continuing education?

Pure evil. Lock him away and throw away the key.

.

No one owes anyone friendship without consequences.

One cannot be "wicked" to others and expect them to "take it". Then perhaps hide behind "I was temporarily angry".

Kobojunkie:
Stop with the pity nonsense abeg!

You came into this world alone and so it is perfectly possible to be alone and happy. You just need to learn to love yourself enough to give yourself that chance.

Nobody likes it when others are clingy. And no one owes you friendship. You need to look inwards for what it is that is missing and patch yourself up so that when people come into your life they no longer find you a shell to use and discard, but worthy of long-time friendship.

Is a friend "cutting one off" if one "cuts off" the friend first?

Kobojunkie:
If you are a loner by nature as you claim, ain't it time to embrace who you are rather than continually going out there to look for others to supposedly complete you claiming "support system"?

Learn to be happy with who you are as an individual and then people will come and go as they should while you can then remain unimpacted by it all.

Courts will decide. Everyone should relax.

I don't see the problem.

A respectful exchange.

She asked again, he said no. Finito. Life continues.

[quote author=CrisNews post=117918241]A Nigerian man, Tommy Viccetti, has refused to accept a lady who rejected him three years ago. In a tweet he made on October 26, Tommy said he is no longer the man he was in 2019, meaning he won't accept the lady.

Tommy attached a conversation he had with the lady in November 2019, during which she refused to give him her WhatsApp number.

The Nigerian lady runs back to Tommy in 2022 to plead for forgiveness

In a dramatic U-turn, the lady went back to Tommy's DM after three years and pleaded to be forgiven for her actions.

The lady in question said she regrets not giving him the number he requested. Tommy tweeted: "Sorry, I am not the same man I was in 2019. Probably went through my recent photos and saw the boy has cleaned up good."



https://twitter.com/tommy_viccetti/status/1585158839342878720?t=iuxMt0Suqv0FEUN7keuFgQ&s=19[/quote]

Anytime [quote author=mryoung16 post=117947560][/quote]

Like you and your family right?

07kjb:
That guy is a drug user don't mind him

He said 1000 on food AND BILLS.

TarOrfeeek:
You need to reduce the amount of food you eat.

How can you be spending almost 700k on food in a month.

You be horse?

1270 USD a month seems a bit low. Are you a student?

Things are ridiculously expensive. Went for groceries yesterday and the amount I had to pay on food tax is ridiculous. My takehome from daily hustle is only a little above $1270 and bills and food take over $1000 monthly

Schedule A is the background/declaration form.

IMM 5669.

mryoung16:
Hi cooooooks, sorry I don’t get what you meant by schedule A . Can you explain further? With thanks.

Quebec just launched this policy with a couple of caveats:
- you have to study in french
- you have to study outside Montreal.

The reasoning is:
- you'll learn in french
- work in french
- date/marry in french
- stay in the city/town after studies
- populate the area in disciplines that are lacking.

bepositive11:
Are you serious? Why don't all Canadian provinces do the same? Why don't they all keep tuition the same for local and international students like Quebec?

Quebec is like a European country in Canada. Things are very different there.

You'll have to say this in the Schedule A.

You might find people here that can help.

mryoung16:
Hi guys . Does anyone here knows any Canadian Immigration lawyer that is good in handling visa overstay application.
I’m actually about to submit a study permit but I overstayed my visa in Japan some time ago I also wish to declare it to avoid them finding out by themselves.

Something in me is telling me to submit my application using a lawyer.

Thanks guys.

Reply truthfully and honestly, I hope they be fair with you.

SoftdudeKay:
Trust me, I am not sleeping truly. I haven’t slept up to 20hrs since I received this letter on Saturday.

Now this is the issue here: I already have UK ban due to an agent’s stupidity. I applied for a visit visa in 2019 and submitted my original bank statement but guess what? The bastard went to fudge a statement which I didn’t know about, it resulted to UK giving me 10 years ban and this year’s December would make it 3 years. And due to my own stupidity, I trusted another agent with the visit visa to Canada in 2020 and the application fee was reversed back to him and I didn’t know about it until now. Now that this my current study application that I did by myself is about to work out, but that silly error on the 2020 application is about to ruin my chance and a possible ban too. My wife would be relocating to the UK next week Thursday (exactly a week today) as a registered nurse, we haven’t been able to have a good time together since I received this procedural fairness letter.

I look at my wife that we just got married last month and I want to express my feelings on how much I would miss her but damn!!! Something inside of me is killing me so badly that I can’t even express my feelings and our excitement for her new job in the UK and her departure is affected as a family, obviously my laughter and smiles are forced and unreal because I’m hurting inside and she knows. We now have to start looking at UK for me again.

God please, I come before you with Matthew 7:7-8 that says, “Ask, and it shall be given you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: 8 For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.”

Please, wipe our tears and answer all our prayers, open the doors of Canada to us all on this platform through Jesus Christ your only son. AMEN

To me, it looks like a good choice.

However, since you already have a PMP, it may be asked why are you doing a certificate.

Olayinkaji:
Hello house. I currently work as a Project Officer here in Nigeria. I have pmp already. I am aiming to go for graduate certificate program in project management at one of the colleges. Durham precisely.

Does this look like a good career progression?

Help me abeg...
Is LOA okay for visa application or do one need proof of payment documentation too

Congratulations.

peluscoten:
Who Am I that God is mindful of?


Double celebration for me today. I am a year older today, and my eagle has also landed (PPR). For those still awaiting the good news, keep the faith alive. You are next in line. Premium Thanks to Oga Makano, he handled my application from start to end. I am coming back with my details timeline.

Probably not necessary but I would advise you to write a letter to IRCC.

https://twitter.com/CitImmCanada/status/1301231909129904128?s=20&t=08FLg7bg5IS83brwsLMoPQ

hayoBams:
Good day everyone please I'm really in need of any help I can get on this situation.
I applied for my study permit with a letter of admission of fall 2022 but because my application was delayed I eventually deferred to winter 2023 but few days after deferring my admission, my study permit got approved and my passport has already been stamped.
My question now is do I need to notify ircc about this change before leaving Nigeria because I've heard things like a person would need to reapply for a study permit if he makes any changes before Nigeria.
And if notifying them does not pose an issue how do I go about it I'd really appreciate if I can get a response as I'll be traveling very soon.

Thank you.