₦airaland Forum

Ginaz:
[You are the man and head of your house, act like one. Your yes is your yes, after all, you're the one doing all the spending. If they insist on having their way, then take a book, write all your expenses and give it to them to bring money out for the marriage. Some in laws are so annoying and not understanding.

They will want you to spend all your money on a one day marriage, later when you'll be running up and down to settle debt no one will even lift a finger to offer you a kobo. My dear, ''cook your food according to your firewood''.

He is heading himself and no one else, atleast not yet.
If that chick were to be your sister, you won't be here calling these parents annoying.

@Op, you do not get to talk. You impregnanted their daughter before marriage and you expect them to be lenient with you?
You would have considered your finances before deciding to put the cart before the horse.

The least you can do at this time is to go ahead and marry her fully now, this is all her parents ask of you. You can go with a very low key wedding, the ceremony can be done alongside the introduction to save cost. Nobody says you must go broke, all they want is for their daughter to be married Asap before she puts to bed.

All the best!

I will drive myself to church in my own car, case closed.

No time for crap.
Found myself in a similar situation sometime ago, though my Dad was the driver. We finished from an occasion and on our way out, someone asked for a ride.

As a matter of fact, we were already seated and about to take off but the guy walked up to my side of the car to take up the front seat where i was already.

I just moved to the back, in my heart i was feeling sorry for the guy and his reasoning.
What is the point really when everyone will still alight at the end of the day.

See a stranger feeling entitled, how much more a mother-inlaw. I go leave the yeye motor for she and her son, who get time for unnecessary drama?

Dreamflyin:
OP, thanks a lot for being honest about her. Some dudes will start off by painting her up as unfaithful and all. Thanks Op. You're on the good path. Thanks again.
She loves you, no doubt about that, but sometimes, life throws things in our path that even the strongest emotion can't withstand.
She's gone, but she's still there.
Don't hate her.
She did her bit.
Dust yourself up. It's hard, and I wouldn't claim to know how you feel, or understand your feelings.
If you commits suicide, you lost. You lost her, and the world/life defeated you.
She always loved you and will still do, but if she grew up in want, that phobia will always get her apprehensive of the future. She wants better for her kids.
I'm not God to tell you that a job is on the way and make you feel good, but you'll be a better man if you pull through this.
Best of luck, bro. I'm in deep sorrow with you. God keep you.

very sensible and mature post.
@Op, listen to this advice. It has a lot of wisdom in it.
Don't worry, that suicidal feeling would go away and you will be fine.
Just don't stop hustling and making yourself better and don't hate her.

Everybody is quick to call her shallow, she may not be. She alone knows what she's been through and what informed her decision.
Some people have been through hell and out and wouldn't want to have anything to do with lack...whether her decision was right or wrong, i don't know. But what i do know is that she is trying to be very careful so as not to land herself and her unborn children in the same thing she is very much afraid of, even though at the of the day, whatever will be will be.

She might still end up being your wife, so treat this with wisdom and don't hurt yourself.
All the best!

clemzo101:
He has even blocked me on Whatsapp, all I have on this scammer is the name he uses on BBM and fone number and pin 08147631591, 59093EBD

I chatted with the Kola guy on whatsapp and this time, he told me his name is Azeez, wow!
I really don't know why some of us are this way, yet na we go church pass.
I advised him to return your money. I hope he does the right thing and desist from this repulsive act before it gets him in trouble.

bloglover:
As long as u have gotten d admission and they have sent u d Jw202 form, just relax u will get d visa , forget abt d questions u will be asked. U may not even be asked anything.

Getting the Jw202 does not guarantee a visa.
He has to make sure any document he is submitting is genuine, especially his bank statement.

i know someone that got rejected in october, He re-applied and got rejected still.

I'm not sayings the Op will be rejected as there is a very low rate of rejection but the possibility is not zero

@ Op, be confident and supply genuine back up document, you'll be fine

omoteamac:
c
DBestDoc

The name of the Chinese university
Course of study, duration and why you want to study it.
How you got to know about the school (don't say through an agent, tell them you did the research yourself on the internet)
your sponsor, relationship with him and what he does for a living
your plans after studies, if you will return to your country or not.(let them know you will return to your home country)

that's all i can remember now.
All the best!

Mcbussy:
Seriously?!...do u even know d meaning of that term "best quality"?... Is being unkind and using derogatory words on other humans part of the "best qualities" u were talking about?....I'll take it ur dating a boy. That's why u must be confused u have the right qualities because he lusts after ur face, boobs, back side or whatever u consider ur "selling point".

If u were dating a real man, u would know that ur claim in that post compared to ur conduct on this thread is a total paradox. Try kindness and humility...real men expect that in ladies, and it will also take u a long way in terms of psychological/spiritual wellbeing and even in ur career.

Thank You.

let me believe she is a pre-teen because even a teenager knows what social ethics and decorum mean. I didn't see your post before i commented, atleast i'm happy we still have sensible youths out there.

ZeeAfrica:
yes dear I am beautiful thank u, am not insulting her, m just telling the truth. Another thing, whether my bf goes for her or not is not my business, I have better things to focus on in life than trying to run after or fight for a man, after all, did someone tell u that there are no more men in this world? did they say that my bf is the only guy on earth? ouch, I don't think so. Him going for her, would be his loss, coz I know that I am the best thing that can ever happen to a guy, believe me I have the best qualities which men look for. U don't know me, I don't know u, but I know the truth about me, so what u r saying to me, is no threat at all. Lol m sure u have tried to commit suicide becoz of a man, judging from the way u put your statement, u r probably the type of a person who runs after a man, as if a man is a profession. Gosh dear grow up already, and know that there is more to life, than thinking a man is all u need

I'm not a regular here, do not like commenting either but your post got me.

You have a lot of growing up to do, believe it or not.

People like you never learn or take corrections going by your comments on this thread.
This is meant to be an advise to you but i'm 100% certain it won't go down well with you. Let your own tongue not sing your praise...allow others to do that for you and it is wisdom to know when to speak and when to keep quiet.

If you have nothing positive to say about someone else, just shut up already. Even a FOOL is thought to be WISE when he keeps quiet.

All the Best!

Nubian113:
All this "it's about her" malarkey. What about this Man's family?His mother who desires a grandson or more children. So He must loose out on his linage because of his so called wife,lover and partner. Hun she had no birth complications. She didn't go to work for the ten years he did. He paid the bills and loved her alone. Now he can't have his God giving right to procreate. I feel for African men in the west I swear. BeCause if this was Somaliland he would've remarried and even her mother will whoop her ass if she complained. But in the west he must compromise just so she won't leave with his daughters.

My dear, go and ask my Papa that has 6 boys, he will tell you that the Lineage thingy is a scam...
My Dad is more thankful for His 2 girls.

I went through the updated Op and i kinda understand the man's plight.
It's the desire of many to have both male and female, but then again, the uncertainties of Life can happen.

He should find a way to sort out this issue with his wife and not resort to threatening her with a second wife, i'm sure they will reach an understanding that will leave them both happy.

bjcole:
Don't you think your own post is so biased too, you may plan to have 5 kids before marriage and you end up with 2kids and vice-versa. If they plan to have 2 and the man based on how God blesses him decides they should have more, is he wrong? he is the head of the family, I think the family should just come to an understanding for what is best for the family. I don't know of any sane man that wants his wife to suffer from child bearing, nobody wants his wife looking sag, and issue of compromise whether they want to remain marry does not come in, the Op said they love each other
Women should soften this issue of divorce, anything misunderstanding in marriage does mean you have to be discussing whether you want to still be married or not. That you are empowered and independent does not give you licences to want out of marriage. Women glow better when they are under their husband with mutual respect for each other.

Her post seemed biased to me so i had to make her see things from the woman's perspective, i wasn't trying to take sides.

Clearly, you didn't read the Op very well. The woman has been given an ultimatum to either have more kids or give way for a second wife. Now you call that love? Out there, there are childless couples loving up and supporting each other. No one is threatening to bring in a second wife and here you have a case of a woman that has got 2 kids already.

@ the phrase in bold, maybe i'm missing out on something. when people say Love, i get confused sometimes 'cause their actions are the exact opposite of what love should be. My godparents didn't have any children till after 10yrs in marriage, the man didn't run-off for a second wife. My Aunt doesn't have any children, adopted or biological and they are in their 70s now and still loving up. These are real life cases that remind of what love should be.

Love is patient and kind, it is not proud or self-seeking. Love protects.... If they love each other as you wrote, the issue of a second wife won't even come in. they will find a way around the challenge.


If they cannot come to an understanding, what do you advice they do?

Just as the Man is the head of the home and has the right to as many children as he wishes, same goes for the woman. She also has the right to a certain number and the choice to share her husband with another woman or not.

I wish them the best!

Nubian113:
# polygamy is for these said cases in my culture. If he is truly capable then I wouldn't stand in his way.


But then again I'm not married so I'd be guessing.

Being capable in what sense? Raising kids is not all about feeding and paying school fees, it goes beyond that.

BTW, Nigeria is becoming over populated . The goal should be one kid or two max.

They were supposed to have agreed on the number of kids to have during courtship to avoid situations like this , that is what courtship is meant for.

@ op, your post is so biased. That woman has got her own choices, needs and life goals too, It must not always be about what the man wants. What exactly does he need more Children for? is he looking for a particular gender or he just wants a full house?

The fact that he is capable of supporting a large family doesn't mean he should become the father of many nations. He is not the one birthing those kids, so i understand why he is hell bent on having more.

IMO, two is a good number. What matters is quality and not quantity, they should concentrate on raising the kids right and the outcome could be better than what you get with 10 children put together...

I still don't believe there are people that go into marriage blindly without discussing and sorting out issues like this first in this age. They need to come to a compromise if they still want to remain married.

Swints:
Op you should do your research before talking trash. The 5k you pay to obtain employment form is for the verification of your certificate. The hospital wants to employ you and they cant afford to bear the administrative costs of verifying certificates of all their prospective employees. Its not like its a new thing and you expect government to give you money to transport yourself for interviews abi? And which ghost workers are you talking about in this time of ippis and bvn. Go and read very well so you will pass your interview and spend less time on nairaland

Read your comment well, then come back and tell us who is talking trash, you or the Op..
Which certificate are they verifying when they already have temporary practice licence issued by the MDCN?

IMO, if MDCN is a competent body, then all verification done by them before issuing temporary licences is good enough.

Lets say verification is needed, what does it take for the Hospital to contact various schools and verify candidates' info. from them in this internet era? The hospitals have departments structured for this purpose with paid staff.

5k sounds small but that is just to apply to one Hospital. For someone applying to four different hospitals, it amounts to 20k, excluding transportation, accommodation and feeding cost. Do the maths bearing in mind that this person is an applicant without a steady source of income.

The more we make excuses for stuffs like this, the more the country goes from bad to worse.

Morhziez:
Ben Carson should handle this naa

Ben is a Neurosurgeon..
I think he is a prof. in plastics too
But this is a case of shared abdomen and pelvis

@ OP, i think you should enroll in an open university, it will save you the stress of doing jamb again 'cause there is no guarantee that doing jamb will secure you a seat this year.

You can check the National Open University out, i don't know how good their progs. are though, but it should be a good start in the right direction.
Don't bother yourself too much so you don't cause more issues for yourself. A lot of peeps are going through/ have gone through similar stuffs.
I was around your age when i started med. Sch and yes, i spent 7yrs plus just like you...

Consider the NOUN option, you would be studying for a Bachelors and probably earning a living alongside.
Try and take your Health seriously, you need it if you must make any meaningful progress...

All the best!

davolax:
I have $3,000 to sell (GTB), please inbox me if you want it and you're in Lagos. I'd rather do a face to face transfer in a banking hall, since we do not know each other. If that's ok with you
In the message, kindly send your phone number so we can negotiate where/how we can meet and rate.

At what rate will you sell? ive got someone in lagos that can meet you in a banking hall but the USD has to be transferred into a Diamond account if it's convenient...
waiting for your reply

teddyseun:
Just tried sending you a PM now.have 4100usd inflow now and if you are interested let me know asap

ofcourse i am, will send you a mail now

Muyiii:
Well...not all banks stopped the full use of their naira ATM abroad. GTB & Zenith bank for instance only limited the amount you can spend per month ($1000 monthly)...with options of POS, Withdraw & Online shopping (foriegn). While Wema bank also did the same but you can only use theirs for POS and online shopping. I'm aware that diamond bank & Standard chartered stopped the full use of their cards.

My dear, don't mind the emails GTB sent to customers. They've stopped the ATM service in the country i am since 2 weeks now.
the only bank that works as i type now is FBN and their charge is unreasonably high...more than 313NGN to 1 USD, no kidding

Ymodulus:
You can add me up
@ Stanley thanks

Wow! i do not use BBM, watsapp or email will be fine.

I'm in need of USD, anyone that has got to sell and can make direct transfer into a Nigerian Diamond Domiciliary account should please PM me..

Payment will also be made in NGN

Thanks

I'm in need of USD, anyone that has got to sell and can make direct transfer into a Nigerian Diamond Domiciliary account should please PM me..

Payment will also be made in NGN.
Thanks

ryanfletcher:
are you okay? coz it seems like there are people sitting on top of your matter

So you decided to create a new moniker just to quote me?

freecocoa:
"could've" speculation.

Slightly is the world, please how does inbreeding make a black man have an Asian baby? How also can the environment make this possible?

Sweetheart, i'm sure you know about adaptation. People in Africa need to adapt to the hot climate, soil type etc, likewise people in Europe , Asia...

Overtime, they develope features different from others like the skin colour, hair type, body structure et al, to help them adapt and survive better in their environment.
Gene mutations also play some roles in making people look the way they do.

Even the kind of food you eat and your lifestyle can make you look a certain way, i can go on and on.

Otunbatrafford:
Is like some of these yeyebrities are seriously broke. creating a scene because of N20,000 is quite deamining in view of her popularity and status. But what of if the bank debunk her claim that the transaction sequence number is successful as status. Would she have been expecting the bank to do otherwise?

Oga, she is a family woman and that 20k can go a long way.

The bank cannot debunk nada, remember ATMs have got cameras and i suppose the camera would have captured the entire process. If she actually took the cash, the camera would capture her taking d cash...

Let them go and contend it in court and be ready to pay her millions for damages

1shortblackboy:
She go spend close to 300k on lawyer fees just to get that 20k. Lawyers I hail o !

You funny oo, you think they will not pay her for damages and inconveniences?

Yungwizzzy:
There are so many great courses in Nigeria institutions which are just underrated


The myopic idea of the op is same reason candates sit for jamb 5_times just because they want to study *medicine"

@the bolded
I did and i don't regret it.
Infact, i'm glad i was myopic enough to keep trying

The end justifies the means...

Obedience is better than sacrifice....

sukkot:
she is a beautiful woman. and i am sure she has many suitors. and i am sure she is in a relationship with someone else, which is why she is not returning to him again. why else will your children beg you to come back and you say no ? and hubby has begged publicly and says he loves you but you say no. someone else is shinning that congo. POINT BLANK

Why did it take him 2yrs to seek reconciliation?
He probably thought her life would end without him and she would run back to him crawling. It's a pity things didn't turn out the way he expected.

He should give the woman her freedom o'jare, plenty women dey for him to choose from, so she too can move on with her life.

I blame her for not leaving with her kids though!

Perculiar:
@ omicron Good Morning Dr. weldone you re doing a great work. please I'm feeling so down. I saw my period again so Sad and disturbed right now. I have been trying to conceive for 7months now. I never Miiss used my body. I got married a virgin. what could be the problem now.

I have already madeup my mind to visit a gyn for checkup tooday


I really want to know what the delay could be.



Any suggestion please Doctors in the house. I want this to be the last period for the next 9months. Amen.

Modified.....

I just saw you got a reply already.

All the best!

Raymondenyi:
can we connect?

Sure, you can leave your email add. if that's ok

nnamdiokere45:
na so una go dey lie, hw wld d doc leave her son n tel u? its impossible

Thank u bro, nothing person no go read for nairaland!